When Glass Shatters

by J. P. Grider

  “Thanks. He had a pretty serious stroke and needs twenty-four hour care for now. My insurance won’t cover a transfer to New Jersey. I’m hoping something changes soon.”

  “Lorraine said the kids may move down there?”

  “I said I’d take care of them, but Lorraine didn’t think they’d want that. Unless—do you have family, Noah? No one was mentioned in the will, but Norah said something about an aunt?”

  “Yeah. My mother’s sister, but she lives up in Connecticut. I already know Norah doesn’t want to go with her. We’d talked about it briefly.”

  “Okay.”

  “And my mom’s mother is older, so she couldn’t. She lives with Aunt Margaret, though. My dad’s brother lives in California.”

  “Okay. And I know his parents are deceased.”

  “Yes.”

  Lorraine’s grandmother went on to explain to Noah everything he needed to know—the lawyer’s phone number, the papers he needed to sign were in a folder on the desk in the den of Lorraine’s house, and the lawyer has guardianship forms if he would rather take custody of Norah instead of allowing her to live with Lorraine.

  Guardianship of Norah? She’d rather be with Lorraine. Noah didn’t have to worry about that.

  “One thing,” Mimi said before hanging up. “Can you keep in touch with Lorraine in case she needs anything and I’m not available?”

  “Sure.” But he didn’t want to. He was afraid of what would happen if Lorraine really needed him.

  He eliminated that thought from his mind immediately and dressed for practice.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “Noah,” Coach Pellegrino shouted. “Get your damn head in the match.”

  That was easier said. Noah’s head was not on the mat. It was on his sister. And Lorraine. The whole damn situation. This was new for Noah—being inside his own head. He had to shake it off and get back onto the mat.

  “You okay?” Allen asked, stopping the scrimmage to check on his teammate.

  “Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Got a headache. Let’s do it again.”

  Noah got through practice after that, but if he didn’t get his girls out of his mind, he’d—

  Wait a minute. His girls? Shit. No. Noah was a loner. A loner. He didn't have time to think about family. He had a championship to prepare for.

  ***

  She scrammed out of Noah’s apartment as soon as she woke up. Lorraine didn’t intend to fall asleep on the couch last night, and now she was late getting the kids up for school.

  Norah wasn’t in her room, and the bathroom was empty. She’d probably gotten herself up and left already.

  Carter, on the other hand, was snoring away under the covers. “Carter.” She nudged him hard in the arm. “Carter, get up. You’re late.”

  “Go away.” He flipped on his stomach and covered his head with the pillow.

  Lorraine shoved at his side again. “No. Get up. You can’t miss school.”

  “Yeah. I can.”

  “Get up,” she screamed.

  “No.” He stayed where he was and slid his head beneath his pillow.

  “Fine.” She acquiesced and left the room.

  Lorraine knew her mother used to have to call her out anytime she was out sick, so Lorraine called the school office and told them Carter wasn’t feeling well. Then she readied herself and went to class.

  “Hey, Rainy,” Dean called out, crossing the courtyard in the center of campus.

  “Hi, Dean,” Lorraine said when he reached her.

  “How’s your grandfather?”

  Before their Developmental Psychology class last week, Lorraine had shared the news about her grandpa’s stroke with Dean. Dean was a classmate who happened to be in every class with Lorraine this semester. Last semester, he was in three out of five of her classes. Because of the amount of time they’d spent together at school, he quickly became one of her best friends. “I guess he’s not too well. My grandmother isn’t coming home now.”

  “So, you’re taking care of your siblings by yourself?”

  She shrugged. “Bad idea?”

  “No, no, just, are you okay with that?”

  “I don’t know if I have much of a choice. Otherwise, the kids’ll have to move to Florida with my grandmother.”

  “Yeah. They’re teenagers, right? It’s not like you have to change their diapers and stuff.”

  Lorraine and Dean laughed. “Come on, I’ll buy you a coffee before class,” Lorraine offered.

  “And I’ll buy you a cup of tea.”

  Lorraine shook her head. “Silly boy.”

  “So, how you handling everything, Rainy? Truthfully. Are you okay?”

  “Ya know. I’m confused, but I think I’m all right. I mean, I’m dealing with Mom being gone. I miss her like crazy, but there’s so much to do, there’s no time to dwell on it, ya know?”

  “You need help?”

  Lorraine took her tea from the counter, and Dean had his coffee. “Well, can you balance a checkbook? I guess I have some bills to pay. Truth? I’ve never paid a bill ever.”

  “What about your car and stuff?”

  “I gave my mom the cash and she paid.”

  “I have a checkbook. I don’t balance it though.”

  “So that’s a no?”

  “We can figure it out. Can I come over tonight?”

  “That’d be great.”

  ***

  The first thing Lorraine did when she got home was check on Carter—who wasn’t in his room. What the heck?

  “Carter?” she shouted through the house before texting him. While she waited for his response, Lorraine went through the files in the den. She would not let the paperwork overwhelm her. She would not.

  As she turned each page, she remembered she needed to pick up guardianship papers from the lawyer. Maybe tomorrow before work, but she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing by becoming their guardian. Maybe Carter and Norah needed a real adult.

  When Carter didn’t text back, Lorraine called him. Still, he didn’t respond.

  “Hey, Rain.” Norah walked in from school. “Did Carter stay home? I didn’t see him in class.”

  “Yeah. But when I got back from school, he wasn’t home.”

  Norah tossed her backpack onto the chair.

  “Do you know if he’d go to any friends’ houses?” Lorraine had no idea who Carter hung with. Until recently, Lorraine rarely thought of asking Carter who his friends were.

  “I don’t know. He hangs with a group that plays basketball at the courts. Maybe he’s there.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Want me to go check? I can skateboard there.”

  “Um. No. You just got home.”

  “That’s okay. If you have a couple bucks, I can get a donut at Dunkin.”

  Lorraine chuckled. “Sure,” she said and took out three dollars from her purse and handed it to Norah. “Is pizza okay for dinner?”

  “Yeah. ‘Course.”

  “Be careful of any patches of ice on the sidewalks.”

  “I’ll be fine,” Norah yelled as she stepped out the back door.

  Lorraine searched the desk again and found the book that had her mother’s passwords. She set it aside; she’d need it for tonight. She pulled out her mother’s checkbook and her savings account statements and brought it all to the kitchen table, where she sat until Norah came back.

  “He was there. I told him to come back, but he wasn’t too happy about it.”

  “Who was he with?”

  “A bunch of high-schoolers.”

  “High school? Aren’t you guys in seventh grade?”

  Norah popped open a Coke from the refrigerator.

  “Yeah. Carter’s been hanging with some freshmen and sophomores lately. I think there are some eighth graders in the group too, though.”

  “Since before…or after?”

  “Well, he started hanging with this one freshman before, but this past week, I,” Norah took a deep breath and sighed on her exha
le, “I saw him behind the school a few times with the group of them.”

  “Oh?”

  “Smoking pot or whatever they do back there.”

  “Oh.” Lorraine blew out a breath. “Shit.”

  Norah pulled out a seat and sat across from Lorraine. “Maybe it’s a phase. Y’know, because of—” Norah snapped her lips shut.

  “What?”

  Norah shook her head.

  “What, Norah?”

  “Well. I don’t know everything, but after my mother died, Noah got into some trouble too.”

  “Did he start doing drugs too?”

  “Well, like I said, I don’t know too much, but I remember him and my dad fighting all the time. And when my Uncle Josh stayed with us to help, I remember them always whispering about Noah.”

  “Hmmm. I wish I knew how to handle this. Ya think Noah would—” Lorraine tsked, remembering again how she drunk-dialed Noah.

  “Ya want me to call him?”

  “Um. Nah. I can. It’s not your responsibility. But if you can, like, tell me things when you see them, I don’t know. I don’t want you to snitch on Carter, but if he’s in trouble or something, maybe you can tell me?”

  “Sure.”

  The front door opened and closed. Lorraine jumped out of her seat. “Carter?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled, uninterested.

  “We’re ordering pizza tonight.”

  “Whatever. Call me when it gets here.” Carter turned to go up the stairs.

  “Wait. Stay with us,” Lorraine called, desperate for communication.

  He didn’t respond as he continued up the stairs.

  ***

  Dean walked up the porch steps just as the pizza was being delivered. “Ooh, just in time,” he joked, handing the pizza guy two twenties and taking the pies.

  “No, Dean, stop, I got it.”

  “I don’t mind.” He signaled to the delivery guy to take his twenties and leave.

  “Thank you,” she said, tucking her money back in her pocket and leading them into the kitchen.

  “Hi, Dean,” Norah said when he walked in.

  “Hi, Norah.” Dean put down the pizzas while Lorraine grabbed the paper plates and put them on the table.

  “Oh, Rain, I need money on my lunch account,” Norah said, pulling out a piece of pizza and placing it on her plate.

  “Lunch account? What’s that?” Lorraine put a piece of pizza on Dean’s plate and one on hers.

  “Yeah. We’re out of money to buy lunch.”

  “Oh. Carter too?”

  “Probably. Tatum always added it monthly.”

  Lorraine nodded. “Let me go get him.”

  He was face down on his bed, fully-clothed, shoes still on.

  “Carter.” She nudged him like she had this morning. When he stirred, she said, “Pizza’s here.”

  He grunted.

  “Carter, wake up.”

  “All right,” he yelled, but didn’t move.

  For the second time today, Lorraine yielded to her brother’s defiance and left the room.

  Back downstairs, after eating their pizza, Norah showed Lorraine where to enter lunch payments on the school website, and Dean helped Lorraine go through the bills and balance the checkbook. It took several hours, several slices of pizza, and a whole six-pack of Coke to get through the night, but Lorraine was grateful for Dean’s help. “Thank you so much,” she told him again and again before he left for the night.

  “Anytime. I learned a few things myself tonight.”

  “Well. I appreciate it.”

  “Bye, Rainy,” he said, smiling. “See ya Monday.”

  ***

  The following days went by fairly uneventfully, except that Carter withdrew even more, and when Lorraine attempted to cajole any kind of information from him, he’d get angry. Not just screaming mad, but punched holes in the wall, threw electronics across the room, slammed doors so hard the hinges tore off the jam mad.

  Guardianship papers were signed; now Lorraine just had to wait for a call from the lawyer. A court date would follow.

  Lorraine went to school, went to work, cooked dinners, went food shopping, studied, lathered, rinsed, repeated. Days seemed to blend into each other, and Lorraine was finding her groove. Norah sat at the kitchen table every afternoon doing her homework, and Lorraine made sure to sit there with her at least three of those days when Lorraine didn’t have a six o’clock cycling class to teach. Life was getting back on track, and aside from Carter’s obvious retreat from family-time, Lorraine was slowly picking up the pieces of the shattered mess their parents’ car crash had made.

  But she couldn’t pick them up quickly enough.

  The home phone rang three times before Lorraine answered it. “Hello?”

  “Lorraine Mattina?”

  “Yes?”

  “This is Freda Gilmore. The middle school guidance counselor.”

  “Oh. Hi.”

  “Carter tells me you’re his guardian now?”

  “Um, yeah. I mean, the papers have been signed, but it’s not official yet.”

  “Oh. Then is there someone official I may speak to now?”

  “Uh, well, that’d still be me. My grandmother spoke with the lawyer about it. I’m the temporary guardian until it’s all done.” Lorraine was afraid she was saying too much. Or the wrong thing. Why did the guidance counselor need to know anyway?

  “Okay. Well, then I need you to come in. Your brother was found in possession of marijuana while smoking in the boys’ room. We confiscated it, but we suspended him…again. You need to pick him up.”

  “Oh. Oh my God. Okay, um.”

  “We haven’t notified the authorities. Considering your current situation, we decided to keep it under wraps, but we do need to suspend him for three more days.”

  Lorraine blew out a breath. “Okay. Thank you.”

  “We need you to come in, Miss Mattina.”

  “Right. Sure. Okay. I was on my way to work, so just, just give me a chance to find someone to cover my class and I’ll be there.”

  “Okay. He’ll be sitting in the front office.”

  ***

  The owner of the gym wasn’t happy there’d be no twelve-thirty kickboxing class and reiterated the importance of giving ample time to find a replacement. As if Lorraine hadn’t already been aware.

  The principal of the school was annoyed Lorraine took thirty minutes to show up. “I’m sorry,” Lorraine told him. “I needed to contact my employer.”

  “If you’re the boy’s guardian, he needs to be your priority.”

  “I know that. That’s the reason I told my job I couldn’t come in,” Lorraine said, annoyed that she even had to explain herself.

  “Miss Mattina,” Mr. Grandy frowned—a frown that hadn’t changed since Lorraine had him six years ago. “Are you sure you are responsible enough to be your brother’s guardian? A lot of responsibility comes with parenting a child. How old are you now?”

  “Eighteen. And I’m fully responsible,” she lied, her defense mechanisms kicking in. She felt entirely not responsible enough to take care of two teenagers.

  “We need to see your legal papers.”

  “They’re with the lawyer right now. Mr. Grandy, can I take my brother home now?”

  “He will be seeing our counselor twice a week when he comes back, and you’ll need to keep a close eye on him at home. You shouldn’t allow him out without supervision.”

  “Mr. Grandy, I know how to take care of my brother.”

  Mr. Grandy raised his sarcastic brows at Lorraine.

  “Just because I’m young, doesn’t mean you can talk to me like I’m a child.” Lorraine stood and hiked her purse high on her shoulder. “I’d appreciate it if the next time we talk, I’m treated with respect.” Lorraine’s body grew warm and her face felt flush. She’d never spoken to anyone like that, but she didn’t like the way Mr. Grandy made her feel; she was sure he didn’t treat the other parents that way. When she turned and
walked out of his office, she swore she heard him snicker. Jerk.

  “Carter, what the heck?” Lorraine said in the car. “Where’d you get pot from?”

  “Nobody,” Carter mumbled into his coat.

  “Where’d you get money to buy it?”

  “Nowhere.”

  The money she gave him for the deli he said he went to everyday after school, she bet. “Your deli money?”

  He said nothing.

  “You’re twelve, Carter. Where does a twelve year old get pot?”

  “Nowhere,” he repeated.

  “You’re not gonna just play video games and sleep in your room the next three days. I hope you know that.”

  Again, nothing.

  Lorraine was anxious to get home and call her grandmother, because she had no idea what to do with Carter.

  But then, Lorraine thought about it. Her grandmother had enough to deal with right now. Plus, Carter would see it as tattling. She thought about what Norah said about her brother going through something after their mother died. Maybe she could call Noah.

  Carter started for the stairs as soon as they got home. “You are not going into your room, Carter. You can do homework down here.”

  Carter scoffed and kept going.

  “Carter,” Lorraine shouted.

  “You’re not my mother,” he shouted back and slammed his door.

  “Shoot.” Lorraine kicked off her sneakers, threw the mail on the dining room table, and went to the bathroom. How the heck was she going to deal with him? He won’t even pay attention to a word she says.

  After the bathroom, and after a more detailed apology phone call to the gym’s owner, Lorraine went through the mail at the dining room table. Too on edge to sit down, she stood and opened the envelopes. As she paced the floor, simultaneously reading a formal letter sent from some lawyer’s office, Lorraine screamed out in pain. “Oh my freakin…God.” She pulled out a seat, sat, and looked at her foot. Blood already soaked through her striped sock. “Crap.” She pulled off her sock and yelped again. A small shard of glass stuck out from her foot. “Darnit,” she said as she yanked it out, yelling one more time.