When Glass Shatters

by J. P. Grider

  “So, Dean here is implying the two of you fucked last night, Rain.” Noah just couldn’t wait to call out the fucker.

  She might have given herself whiplash with the force in which she snapped her head around. “Dean,” she reprimanded. “Really?”

  Pretty-boy shifted in his chair and stammered. “Uh, we… uh, no, no, he’s trying to start trouble.”

  “Trouble? Did you or did you not just ask Lorraine about her energy levels, implying you tired her out last night?”

  “Dean,” she exclaimed. “Is that why you asked that?”

  “Uh, no, I, uh—”

  “Face it, Dean,” Noah said. “You’ve been called out on your bullshit.”

  Dean rolled his eyes at Noah and stood from his seat. “Rainy, I did not mean anything by it.” He walked over and pleaded with her. “You gotta believe me, I wasn’t implying anything, I just, well—” Dean glowered at Noah. “The boy drives me mad, Rainy. I can’t stand him.”

  With the tea kettle emitting its shrill signal, Lorraine’s attention was on making her tea and not the two immature boys vying for her attention. Noah was quite ashamed of himself—one for acting like a jealous twelve year-old, and two, for unfairly assuming Lorraine could so easily fall off her self-imposed casual-sex wagon. Noah looked into his coffee and listened to Dean backpedal his way out of trouble.

  “Say something, Rainy. Come on. I was just trying to get under his skin. I’m sorry.”

  “Why? Why do you need to get under his skin? I don’t get it. Why do the two of you hate each other so much? You hardly know each other.”

  “I don’t know, Rainy,” Dean responded while Noah still searched his coffee for his dignity. “I like you. He likes you. It’s old-fashioned schoolboy rivalry. That’s all.”

  She took her cup of tea and sat at the head of the table. Dean returned to his seat. Then she proceeded to chastise the two of them. “See, that’s the thing...you guys aren’t schoolboys. You’re men. Or at least on the verge of being men, I think. By the way you all are acting, I can’t really be sure.”

  “Sorry, Rainy,” Dean said.

  Noah on the other hand just stared at Dean. “He was saying things about you that weren’t true. I didn’t like it, and I’m not apologizing for that.”

  Lorraine just looked at him.

  “What? What did I do wrong but call him out on his defamation of your character?”

  At that precise moment, Lorraine spit a mouthful of hot tea into the air, causing him to start cracking up. Soon, she and Noah were both bent over in fits of laughter.

  “What the hell?” Dean couldn’t comprehend why they were suddenly in hysterics.

  “Family joke, Dean,” Noah explained, his chuckles dying down.

  “Rainy?”

  “It’s nothing, Dean.” Lorraine smiled, but her laughing fit was definitely over. “Just a joke he’d said the other night,” she lied.

  Noah guessed she never did confide in Dean what she’d revealed to Noah the night after they’d made love—had sex—for the first time. Made love? No, Noah didn’t make love. He fucked.

  “Do we have any frozen bagels left?”

  Noah turned to find Norah opening the freezer door. “Good morning.”

  “Yeah. Morning.”

  As Norah retrieved the bag of frozen bagels, Lorraine said, “I bought that brown sugar cinnamon cream cheese you wanted.”

  “Thanks.”

  While Norah fixed her breakfast, Lorraine got up and turned on the stove to heat up the kettle. “I also bought those Kind bars you like. They’re in the cabinet.”

  “Thanks.” Norah rarely gave one-word responses.

  “Whoa, Nor, what’s going on?” Noah turned his chair and leaned back, his coffee mug snug in his hand. “What’s with the one-word answers.”

  “Who asked a question?”

  “Whoa. Sassy.”

  “Leave her alone, Noah. She just woke up.” Lorraine reached out to touch Norah’s arm, but Noah noticed the way his sister subtly flinched when she did.

  Lorraine must have noticed too, because she dropped her hand to her side.

  Carter surfaced with a groaning, “Is it summer yet?” Then, when he caught the full-house in the kitchen, asked, “Did somebody else die?”

  “Look.” Holding a box of Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts, Lorraine offered them to Carter. “I know you like them.”

  Carter took the box, tore it open, and took out two packages. “I’ll bring ‘em with me. The coffee’s back?”

  Lorraine and Noah both shrugged, but when Lorraine realized Carter was making himself a cup, using the disposable to-go cups she’d bought for herself, she said, “Carter, coffee? You’re twelve.”

  “Leave him alone, Lorraine. He just woke up,” Noah joked. “Really though, if he wants coffee, let him have it.”

  “I guess. You are gonna be thirteen next week.”

  “Oh yeah,” Carter perked up. “Do I get any presents this year?”

  Lorraine smiled. Noah had no idea why. “Of course. Is there something you want?”

  “Yeah. PS4 games.”

  “PS what?”

  “Playstation Four,” Dean chimed in. “What games you play, buddy?”

  Carter lowered his brow at Dean then looked at Lorraine. “Why is he here so early, and why isn’t he wearing a shirt?”

  Noah sat his mug down on the table, crossed his arms, and waited for the answer.

  Lorraine, the Pop-Tarts placed back in the cabinet, was now pulling out the box of instant oatmeal. “Not that it’s your business, Carter, or you,” she said directly to Noah. “But Dean brought me ice cream last night, we watched a movie, had some adult root beer floats, and I didn’t want him driving home, so he slept on the couch.” Her attention back on the tea kettle and her little envelope of oatmeal, she said with her back turned to everyone, “And I have no idea why he’s not wearing a shirt.”

  Noah had an idea. It was to provoke Noah and infer that Dean had slept with Lorraine. And Noah didn’t like that one bit. No matter what Lorraine thought of her own reputation, there was no way Noah was going to allow anyone else to devalue her integrity. Not if he could help it.

  Carter took his coffee and grabbed his backpack and his Pop-Tarts. “See ya.”

  “Bye, Carter,” Lorraine called to his retreating back. “Come home right after school,” she yelled.

  Norah put her tea in a to-go cup, wrapped her bagel in a napkin, and hiked her book bag up her shoulder. “You too, Norah,” Lorraine instructed. “Come home right after school. You can go out, but first come home and tell me where you’re going.”

  Norah huffed. “Can’t I just text you?”

  “No. I need to see you guys first. I switched some of my fitness classes around so that I’m home more.”

  “Fine.” Norah walked out in a snit.

  When it was just the adults left, Noah blurted, “You switched classes around?”

  Lorraine sat down with her cup of oatmeal and jar of peanut butter. “The classes I teach. Not my college classes.”

  “Why?”

  As she spooned some peanut butter into her oatmeal, she said, “I thought maybe the kids needed more adult supervision.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Some kind of supervision. Anyway, I called Audrey, my boss, and she shuffled some classes around. She said the members would like the change, so, yeah. I’ll be home more after school and at night.” Before she brought her spoon to her mouth, she said, “I have a class every morning now though. Even on the weekends.”

  “Ouch.”

  “It’s all right. We do what we have to, right?”

  “Right.” But Noah wasn’t doing what he had to. Not at all. After quitting college and throwing his wrestling career away, he didn’t seem to be doing anything at all.

  “So, Rainy, you should be getting ready,” Dean suggested. “We gotta get to class.”

  She swallowed her food and said, “We have time. Let me finish my breakfast.”
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br />   “Yeah, don't you have a shirt to put on or something?” Noah chimed in.

  Dean ignored Noah’s jibe and told Lorraine, “Don't forget. We’re studying tonight.”

  Lorraine nodded.

  But Noah said, “She can't. She has a date with me.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  “I do?” Lorraine mumbled, her mouth full, the peanut butter sticking to the roof of her mouth.

  “Yeah, you do.” Noah said as a matter of fact.

  “Was I aware of this date?” Lorraine put her spoon down. She wanted to give his answer undivided attention.

  He stood from the table, took his mug to the coffee machine, and while he dropped a cup into the brewer, said, “Don’t know if you were aware, but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

  “Wait, Rainy, you’re not going on a date with him, are you?” Dean whined. “You know he’s just saying that to get you to not be with me tonight.”

  “Dean—” Lorraine started to say, then looked at Noah instead. “Are you just teasing?”

  “You really thought we had a date?” Noah asked.

  Lorraine felt stupid. She knew they didn’t really have a date, but she thought maybe he was being slick about trying to make one. “No,” she said defensively. “I just didn’t know if you needed me home for some reason.”

  “Actually, that may be the truth.” Noah finished making his coffee, turned, and leaned against the counter. “I’m calling Margaret today.”

  “Your Aunt Margaret? What are you gonna say?”

  Noah sipped his coffee and shrugged. “I’m gonna ask her what the fuck?” Then he held up his hand and walked out of the kitchen.

  Lorraine cleaned up her breakfast, picked up Sunny, and told Dean she’d be back down in ten minutes. She wanted to brush her teeth and grab her school stuff. She’d shower when she got home.

  In the car on the way to class, Lorraine decided to open the conversation with, “So, Dean, why was your shirt off at the table? Before I left for my class, you were on the couch with your shirt on.”

  Dean looked over from the passenger’s seat. “I don’t know. Stupid, I guess.”

  “So it was to goad Noah? I don’t get why though.”

  “I told you, Rainy, I don’t like him. And I especially don’t like the way he looks at you. It’s disgusting. You’re his sister. Doesn’t he get that?”

  Lorraine suddenly felt a little queasy; she didn’t think it was all that disgusting at all. “It’s not that big a deal. You’re making it more than it is.”

  “Are you my girlfriend or not,” he blurted.

  “What?” Lorraine took her eyes off the road a little too long to look at Dean.

  “Are you my girlfriend? You told me it was correct to assume there was something between us, yet you only let me kiss you once. Last night, I kept giving you signs that I wanted to, but you kept avoiding it. So tell me, are you or are you not my girlfriend?”

  This wasn’t a conversation Lorraine wanted to have while she was behind the wheel, but she couldn’t keep leading him on, as evidently, she was. She glanced his way and half-smiled. “Dean, I really like you, I do.”

  “Guess that’s a no.”

  “I’m sorry, Dean. I did want there to be something between us. I did. You’re my best friend, and I love being with you...it’s just—”

  “It’s just you don’t like me like that.”

  “I do. Kinda. I’m just not sure at the moment, that’s all. I thought...I don’t know what I thought. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s fine. We’re just friends.”

  “Best friends.”

  “Best friends.” But Dean didn’t seem too enthused by that idea.

  ***

  After an awkward ride back home when classes were finished, Dean dropped Lorraine off at the curb. His mood hadn’t changed since their drive into school, but Lorraine tried her best to remain pleasant with him. She understood he was feeling dejected all day, and she wished with all her heart she could change the way she felt, but she couldn’t. Her heart was too busy falling in love with her stepbrother. And even though she tried daily to ram those feelings down as soon as they forced themselves her way, the weight of her emotions for Noah outweighed the strength of her will by tons; she was defenseless against them.

  He was in the kitchen when she got in. “Hey,” she said, dropping her bag on the chair and picking up the exuberant dog at her feet.

  “Where’s your boyfriend?” Noah said sarcastically.

  “You two really need to grow up. Carter and Norah didn’t get in yet?”

  “Surprisingly, Carter’s home. He’s up in his room. Norah didn’t come in yet. I texted her and told her to get her ass home right away.”

  “Noah. You can’t be rude to her.”

  “If we’re going to be their guardians, we’re going to need to act like it.”

  “My mother was never rude to us. There’s no need to be a mean parent.”

  “Well, I’m new at this shit.”

  “You and me both,” she said after getting a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “So did you call your Aunt?”

  Noah nodded.

  “Not good?”

  “No.”

  Lorraine sat down while Sunny licked her palms. “Did you tell her I’m applying for guardianship?”

  “Yup. She said she’s still fighting for custody.”

  “But why? Was she even close to your family?”

  “Well, I hadn’t been around much, but no, I don’t think even before my mom died. I really wouldn’t know though. I hardly remember her.”

  “So why?”

  “She’s bringing up my past. Insists that I haven’t recovered and it wouldn’t be healthy for my sister to be living in the same house as me. She’s afraid she’ll get ideas.”

  “Ideas? Does it have anything to do with whatever you did when you were fifteen?”

  Noah nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Did you commit a crime or something?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Look, Lorraine, now’s probably not the right time to talk about this. I don’t want Carter or Norah walking in and overhearing.”

  “Okay.” She understood. Whatever it was, she didn’t want Noah to influence the kids in any way either.

  “I’m just thinking you’ll have a better chance of winning this if I’m not here.”

  “So, what? You’re going back to North Carolina?”

  He looked down at his paper plate where a half-eaten slice of pizza lay. “No.” He shook his head and looked back at Lorraine. “I think I’ll find an apartment somewhere close but not too close. Just in case.”

  “Oh.” Lorraine felt bad; he should have just stayed at Duke. “You know, I think I can handle things around here. I know I came to you a mess and all, but I can always call you...or my grandmother. You should go back to Duke. I’m sure they’ll accept you back.” While Lorraine was speaking, Noah was shaking his head. She continued anyway. “You can enroll in summer courses so you’re not behind.”

  “It’s too late, Rain.”

  “No. I’m sure it’s not. You had extenuating...wait is that the word?”

  Noah laughed. “Yes, that’s the word. Extenuating circumstances?”

  “Yeah, that’s it. Noah, you really should go back. Especially if being here will—” She stopped and sighed.

  “I’m not in the mood for going back.”

  “Why?”

  “Because...I don’t know. I’ve lost interest.”

  Lorraine dropped her head into her hands. “Oh my God, it’s my fault. I should have never come to your tournament that day. I ruined your life. I’m so sorry.” Lorraine looked up at him and he was smiling. Smiling?

  “You didn’t ruin my life, Lorraine? I don’t want to be at Duke anymore. I’d made the decision to go there when I was seventeen, and mostly to get away from my father. And my mother’s memory.”

  “But your career...didn’t you have a major or something?�
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  “Yeah. Aeronautics Engineering. Because I read an article once about Stephen Frick. I read it and said, ‘yeah, that’s what I’ll be.’ Never gave it a second thought until recently.”

  “You decided your future based on one article?”

  Noah nodded. “Yup. Rain, I hate thinking and contemplating and worrying over things. I keep everything surface-level.” He swiped his hand evenly through the air. “I’d made a decision, followed through with it when I applied to colleges, and never stopped to think if it was really what I wanted.”

  “So, what do you want?”

  He laughed. “I have no idea.”

  Both of them sighed, and while they stared into each other’s eyes, the front door opened and ended their conversation. Norah walked in frowning.

  “Hi, Norah,” Lorraine greeted her as she usually did—smiling.

  “I don’t see why I had to come right home. I was meeting Kyle...and Ashley at Dunkin’ Donuts like I always do. Why can’t I today?”

  Lorraine looked at Noah, since he was the one who’d asked her to come home.

  “Because we need to know where you are, Norah. You can’t just galavant around town without letting anyone know where you are.”

  “Rain, can you talk to him, because this is bullcrap.”

  Lorraine took a breath and stood. “Look, Nor, I don’t really know how my mom handled things after school, and I’m sorry I never paid attention, but I find it hard to believe that she let you do as you pleased. Besides, I always remember you being home all the time, and lately, you’re rarely home.”

  Norah huffed.

  “Norah. Your brother and I are trying our best to be good guardians. Maybe we suck at it, but we’re learning as we go, and it doesn’t feel right to either one of us that you’ve been out so much.”

  Throwing up her arms in defeat, Norah exclaimed, “Great. Now I can’t go, and he’s waiting for me.”

  “He?” Noah asked.

  “They. I meant they.”

  “Do your homework, Norah. They will survive without you.”

  Norah turned on her heel and walked out. Lorraine and Noah raised their eyebrows when they heard her deliberately stomping up the stairs.