On the Edge

by Parker Hudson

  THURSDAY, MAY 11 – At noon on Thursday, Kristen made a point of not being in her apartment for lunch. There was still an emotional war waging inside her over everything that had happened to her in the past week. She had not yet called Janet. She could not think about her meeting with Richard without becoming angry, even though a small voice in the background kept quietly repeating that Richard had, in fact, been right. She almost called Peter Dowling, but decided that he would think she was chasing him if she volunteered to come to San Francisco that weekend. So, sitting at her work desk and eating a brown-bag lunch, she decided she needed some time and space to think. She called her travel agent and booked a flight to Dallas and then called her mother and gave her the unexpected good news that her daughter would be spending a long weekend back at home.

  FRIDAY, MAY 12 – On Friday afternoon, Bill Shaw stopped by Janet's office at the station and confirmed that the “911 Live” test run was set to take place in their city in two weeks.

  “I've been able to secure three spots for Tom, Bob Grissom, and me, since you and Connie want to stay here in the control room, to ride along in one of the police cars as it cruises on this side of town. Maybe we can set up some kind of communication net, so those of us from TV5 can be in contact while the network people shoot their footage. And they've said we can use their video to promote the show here at home. So it's looking good for two weeks from today. Are you still on?”

  “Sure, Bill,” Janet answered. “It sounds great. I really appreciate your setting this up, and I hope it goes well.”

  “Me too,” agreed Bill as he headed off down the hall.

  SATURDAY, MAY 13 – That Saturday morning Richard, for the first time in a long time, stayed home and worked around the house with Janet. For one moment late in the morning all four Sullivans were together in the kitchen, and Richard said, “I'd like to go back to Morningside Church tomorrow morning, and I hope we can all go together again.”

  “Amy's gone with her parents to their mountain house this weekend,” said Susan, “but I'd like to go. Maybe I'll drive myself and go to their youth group. That Glenn Jamison guy is really good.”

  “Brent's spending the night with me,” said Tommy, “but maybe I'll call him and see if he wants to go to youth group, too. Can we ride with you, Susan?” She nodded.

  “Well, that's fine,” responded Richard. “And, Tommy, by the way, I'm really glad Brent's coming over here for a change. Maybe we can all go out for a hamburger after your game this afternoon. And if you guys need any batting practice before the game, I'm sure your mother will let me take a break from all this spring cleaning to pitch some balls for you.”

  “Sure, Dad. Can we go to Johnny B. Goode's for burgers?”

  Knowing the boys loved this particular restaurant, with its expensive but delicious hamburgers, Richard smiled and said, “Sure, I guess we can. It's the only place left with loud music that I can stand—because the loud music is from when I was your age. And you're welcome to come, too, Susan.”

  “Thanks, Dad. But I'm going out with Drew.”

  “I'll go check with Brent about batting practice, Dad,” said Tommy. “We'll see you later,”

  So that Saturday night Tommy and Brent didn't join the older boys for videos, and the next morning the two of them, plus Susan and Bobbie, were at the Morningside youth group when Glenn Jamison gave his lesson on Lazarus and the rich man, from Luke 16. Tommy was intrigued when Glenn pointed out several of the occasions in the Bible when Jesus referred to hell. Tommy vividly remembered just a few weeks earlier when his father had told him, after Mr. McEver died, that the Bible never mentioned hell.

  Since Dad's really getting into the Bible now, thought Tommy, I'll give him these references. And he wrote them down.

  After youth group, instead of going to the main service, Susan, Bobbie, Tommy, and Brent joined several of the other kids for an early lunch together at a popular cafeteria not far from the church.

  25

  WEDNESDAY, MAY 17 – That Wednesday morning and afternoon, Amy, Susan, and Bobbie had their appointments with the school nurse, Mrs. Simpson, and with Glenn Jamison at Morningside Church. They received Mrs. Simpson's advice for Amy to have an abortion, as quickly as possible. And they heard Glenn's advice for Amy to have the baby, whom God had created, and then to seek an adoption.

  That afternoon, Bruce McKinney came by Richard's office and proposed that Richard co-guarantee along with three other individuals a $500,000 loan for his company at the bank, until the Tomlinson deal closed. Richard was intrigued by the prospect of earning an additional $50,000 for just signing his name, and he promised his friend Bruce that he would give him an answer in a day or two.

  Late that afternoon, after most of the attorneys and staff had gone home, Richard walked down to Court Shullo's office. “Have you got a minute for a ‘what if’?” Richard asked, standing outside Court's door.

  “Sure, sure, Richard,” Court answered. “I was getting tired of reading motions and countermotions anyway,” he smiled.

  Taking a seat across from Court, Richard said, “As both a lawyer and a Christian, I'd like your advice on a proposition one of my long-standing clients and friends made to me today.” And Richard described for Court the background of the McKinney and Smith deal with Patrick Tomlinson, and the attractive proposition Bruce McKinney had made to him that afternoon about co-guaranteeing their company's loan at the bank.

  Court listened attentively and made several notes while Richard spoke. When Richard finished, Court thought for a few moments and then replied, “Let me respond as best I understand the situation, first as a Christian and then as a lawyer.” Richard nodded his approval.

  “Have you ever read Proverbs?” Court asked Richard.

  Richard shook his head and said, “I guess I've read one or two isolated extracts, but never the whole book in the Bible.”

  “Well, most of Proverbs was written by Solomon, David's son, proclaimed by both God and man to be the wisest ruler Israel ever had,” Court said. “There are, by the way, thirty-one chapters, and you could do worse than reading one chapter each day of the month, repeated for about six months. But anyway, the point for now is that some large number of times—I forget exactly how many, but it must be three or four—Solomon writes in the course of these thirty-one chapters that a wise man never guarantees a loan for someone else. I try to take note of everything written in the Bible, but I figure that when something is repeated over and over again, it's for a reason. And I bet if you ask any of our attorneys in civil litigation, you'll find that a great part of their work today is created by the fact that so few people have heeded that advice.

  “So that's my spiritual input. As a lawyer, it seems to me that you could be putting yourself in a position where you could have a terrible conflict if, God forbid, something negative started happening to this deal. I mean, could you readily give McKinney sound advice, if you had not only our fee, but an additional, personal $50,000 of financing riding on the outcome?”

  Richard listened attentively to all Court had to say, his chin resting on the tips of his upturned fingers. When Court finished, Richard smiled and said, “I really appreciate your advice, Court. You've done exactly what I asked. And tonight I think I'll try for the first time doing something Bob Meredith tells me he wishes he had begun doing years ago: I'm going to ask my wife her opinion.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Court smiled. “And let me know if anything changes, or if I can help you in any other way.”

  Richard nodded, smiled back and said, “And now we both need to go home to our families. That's an order from your senior partner, Court. But thanks for being here.”

  Ever since the weekend events after the prayer breakfast, Janet had been moved to respond to the changes that she had so visibly seen in Richard. She started by trying to think of ways to be home more of the time. And ways that each of them could become more involved in the other's interests. Driving home that afternoon from work, she thought she m
ight have hit upon such an opportunity.

  After dinner that night, as Richard rinsed the plates and she loaded them in the dishwasher, Richard said, “When we get finished, I'd like to ask your opinion about something.”

  “That's fine,” replied Janet. “Because I wanted to ask you something too.”

  Settled in the den while the kids worked on their homework upstairs, Richard again described for Janet the history and the proposal from Bruce McKinney. Janet listened and interrupted him several times with short clarifying questions.

  “We could really use the $50,000, for several specific projects we've talked about together in the past, as well as maybe for a getaway for the family. But it means that I have to personally sign for a big loan, although there will be other guys joining me and the downside risk should be very minimal. What do you think?” Richard finally asked.

  As Court had done, Janet took a few moments to think before answering. “We've lived next to Bruce and Diane for years, and we've always enjoyed doing things with them. They've got four cute little children who keep Diane busy all the time. I've always liked doing things with them, Richard, but I've never thought that Bruce had very much business common sense. I mean…I don't know…it's something about his eyes or the way he's always buying the newest of everything. I can't exactly explain it, but I wouldn't want you—and therefore our family—to risk any money, if the outcome we need depends largely on Bruce.”

  Richard smiled, almost chuckled. “Well, that's the same sort of scientific investment advice that Bob Meredith told me Anne gives to him! But he also says that she's right virtually all the time. He even told me that it's a Christian principle that husbands should always listen to their wives on issues such as this, that God has given you a sense that we men don't have! Now, I haven't had time to check that out myself, but it sounds as if you and Anne ought to open an investment advisory firm!”

  Janet smiled as well. “Anytime, dear. I've thought you've done some crazy things in the past, but I didn't want to say anything. But if you ask, I'll definitely tell you…And now, if that's settled, I've got something to ask you.” Richard nodded in agreement. “As we've talked about before, in nine days the network and our station are going to conduct the test of the ‘911 Live’ concept here. I took your advice—as long as we're thanking each other for advice—and told Bill Shaw that we didn't think it was good, particularly for Connie and me, to ride around with the emergency vehicles. So he and Tom Spence are going out in a police car, while Connie and I will watch from the control room. I wondered if you would like to join us that night at the station, and then you and I can go out for dinner afterwards? The next day we're all going with the Bryants to their mountain home, but we shouldn't be out too late.”

  “I think that sounds like a great idea,” Richard smiled. “Let's plan on it.”

  THURSDAY, MAY 18 – The next morning, Richard called Bruce and told him that, despite the attractiveness of the offer, Richard just did not feel it was the right thing for him to do. In his explanation, he primarily cited the potential for a legal conflict of interest, and he thanked Bruce for the opportunity.

  “But you may soon not have a client or a business to have a conflict with,” Bruce told Richard, obviously disappointed. “If we don't get this loan, I don't know if we're going to make it. And one of the other potential guarantors has already declined. If you back out, Richard, it could kill our company.”

  Richard did not like the escalation of his own implied responsibility for the culmination of many years’ past problems. “Now, Bruce,” Richard responded, “I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. You're my client, neighbor, and friend. I've helped you every step of the way with Tomlinson, and will continue to do so. But I've got to help you as your attorney, not as an investor in your firm, which I would essentially become if I guaranteed your loan. I understand you're disappointed, but I didn't create the situation you're in. I'm here to help you work it out, but not in that way.”

  “OK, OK.” Bruce backed off on the telephone. “I understand. I'll try to ask someone else, and if I need papers drawn up, I'll give you a call. Thanks for considering it.” And he hung up without saying goodbye.

  SATURDAY, MAY 20 – That warm Saturday afternoon, Susan had challenged Janet to a tennis game, and the men decided to have a game as well. So all four of the Sullivans walked down to the courts at the park in the middle of Devon Drive.

  Between sets, when Janet and Susan were sitting and watching Richard and Tommy play, Susan said, “Now, Mom, don't freak! I'm not asking for me…but we've been studying in biology, and I wondered what you think about abortions.”

  Janet looked closely at Susan, trying to read her expression, to see if it really was about her. She could only see an honest question—one that Janet had not exactly expected, however.

  “Well, if you had asked me that question a few weeks ago, I would have said that women definitely have the right to choose what's best for their bodies. But now, after going to church and Sunday school for a couple of weeks and considering all that has happened to your father and seeing how he has changed, I have been led to reconsider a belief I've held for a long time, about God. Something has changed your father, and he believes that it's God. And I must say that everything I've seen and heard so far supports that.

  “So if there is a God,” Janet continued, bouncing the racquet on the fingers of her free hand, “then we need to listen to Him. And there is apparently some pretty strong evidence in the Bible that God is opposed to abortion.

  “I know you went to lunch with your friends and were not in the main service on Sunday, but Michael Andrews preached a great sermon. I think we told you a little bit about it. The sermon was not really about abortion, but he used it to illustrate some points. They made me stop and think. For example, he said that elevating individual convenience over life is going against God, and will undoubtedly lead us as a society to more and more problems in the future. And he pointed out how college enrollment has dropped off dramatically because of all the babies who would have been born, had abortion not been legalized in the early 1970s.

  “Anyway, as I said, if you had asked me earlier, I would have said that abortion is just an individual woman's right to decide a personal matter about her own body. But now, in just the past few weeks, I've had to grapple with some new thoughts.” Janet sighed and slowed down. She looked toward Richard, playing tennis with Tommy, then she continued.

  “You see, as you've heard me say so many times in the past, all those thoughts and decisions came from a belief that there was no God. Or at least that He doesn't become involved in our personal lives. But seeing with my own eyes what has happened to your father, hearing the same story from people like the Merediths, and listening to teaching from men like Michael Andrews, I'm simply forced to say that perhaps there is a God. And perhaps He does act daily in our lives. And if that's the case, then I'm going to have to rethink my stand on abortion because, like all individual decisions, it has to fit within God's larger plan. And I guess I can't imagine that getting rid of unborn babies fits into God's plan.”

  There was a long silence between mother and daughter, as Janet continued to look toward Richard, then turned. “We certainly did get off on a serious subject for a tennis match!”

  Susan returned her smile. “Yeah, I guess so.” As much as her mother's words, Susan appreciated her mother's honesty in sharing her uncertainty and her thought process. It made Susan feel good that her mother could trust her with these very personal thoughts.

  “So you see,” Janet concluded, picking up their can of tennis balls, “you cannot get a simple answer from me right now, because I don't have one. But 1'm working on it. Or perhaps it's better to say that God is working on me. Anyway, I'm thinking about it. Maybe you should ask your father. By the way, why do you ask?”

  “Oh, nothing,” said Susan, picking up her own racquet.

  That Saturday evening, while Bobbie and Susan went on dates with Thomas and Dr
ew, and Tommy went to their school's junior high spring dance, Amy had dinner with Billy and discussed with him what she had learned about abortion and adoption. By the end of the meal, feeling that she could just not imagine having a baby as a high school senior, she agreed with Billy that she should have the abortion and promised to schedule it for the following Friday.

  Then on Sunday morning, she and her parents left and drove ninety miles south of their city to celebrate her grandmother's birthday. As they had backed out of their garage, they waved at the Sullivans, who were apparently on their way again to Morningside Church.

  SUNDAY, MAY 21 – Amy's grandmother lived in a beautiful old two-story home on the outskirts of a small and once-thriving farm town. Her grandfather had been one of the two bankers in the town, and he had built a nice home on a large corner lot, from which her grandmother had always grown what seemed to Amy to be an amazing variety of fruits and vegetables, which she canned and gave to her three children and six grandchildren.

  This was her grandmother's first birthday since her grandfather's death. Amy knew it was an issue for her father, his older brother, and his older sister, that their mother should move from her large home to more modest surroundings. Among her father's generation, that subject would be the main topic for discussion on the large veranda, and in the comfortable kitchen.

  Amy had not seen several of her cousins for quite a while. She was looking forward to being with them again in the large home, which was filled with memories for her of Christmases and of summer vacations when she was a little girl. But she was not prepared for her cousin Catherine, the daughter of her father's older brother. Catherine was seven years her senior—and very pregnant with her second child.