The Braille Club Undone (The Braille Club #3)

by J. A. Kerr

  The doors on this floor were all open but Guy mentioned there were private rooms upstairs. She wanted to go there. Her nipples tightened as she wondered what the clamps would feel like. Warmth spread between her legs. She imagined bending over and being paddled; the sting on her flesh deeply erotic. However, it wasn’t Guy she visualised with her but Nightshade. She’d glanced guiltily towards him. What was wrong with her?

  First it was Simon Lawrence. She sensed he had a dark side. From what Tess told her, they were similar creatures and enjoyed taking similar risks. Simon Lawrence was a prisoner to his desires. He pushed his limits to feed an addiction that was spiralling out of control with irreparable consequences. She wondered how Tess was and the thought was sobering. Anna realised she was intoxicated with lust and probably no better than Simon Lawrence. She had been considering cheating on Guy not once, but twice this evening. What the hell was wrong with her, she asked herself again? She was obviously a deviant. She could never imagine Guy doing the things she wanted. How could she determine her limits when he was incapable of knowing how to push them?

  Nightshade’s comment made perfect sense to her. They were both inexperienced newbies, not unlike new Braille members who were offered sensory lessons in order to learn and explore. Why was Guy against this?

  “You’re quiet,” said Guy.

  They returned to the social area. Both silent and agitated for different reasons.

  “I think you know what I’m going to say,” said Anna, not beating about the bush. “I want to explore...” Anna struggled to communicate her feelings before finally saying, “myself.”

  Guy’s face clouded. “Without me?”

  Screwing up her courage she replied, “Yes.”

  The silence hung between them. “Guy, I want to experience things you can’t give me.”

  “Anna, we can learn together,” said Guy desperately. “The whole point of bringing you here was to do that.”

  “I know,” she said, “but I need to try this…alone, and if I don’t I know I’ll regret it.”

  “Anna, if you do this there is no going back,” said Guy coldly.

  “Guy, please try to understand,” she begged. “This will only make us stronger.”

  Guy snorted. “I don’t think so. You do this and we’re finished. Do you understand, Anna?”

  “Don’t threaten me,” she retorted angrily. “This is not about control, Guy. You can’t control how I feel…I can’t control it myself,” she said.

  “You need to learn then,” he said. “Life is full of temptations, Anna. I thought you were smarter than Eve, but like her, you want to bite the forbidden fruit.”

  “Why are you quoting the bible? You’re right in a way. This is a test for us.”

  “No, Anna, you’re wrong. This is the end for us,” said Guy sadly. With his words ringing in her ears, Anna watched him turn and walk away. Every instinct told her to go after him but then she saw Nightshade step out of the shadows and smile at her.

  Chapter 40

  The Braille Club Undone

  The Braille Club, London. Two Years On. Swingers Zone. Every member had a Braille Key programmed with their zones and desires. When they approached the bank of doors they began a new adventure.

  Noor

  Noor couldn’t stop looking at Virinder. His tentative smile, normally a turn off—she had no time for shy boys, was strangely comforting. She liked her men to be strong and forthright; in fact, the crueller the better. She knew where she stood with those men. Virinder was an entirely different matter. He was more like...Ayran. The thought shook her. Had she been protecting or punishing herself with her choice of men? Noor felt everything in the room tilt for a second as her scrambled thoughts pulled her off balance. Ayran had hurt her so much. He had always been kind to her, a gentleman, until her father’s debt had been revealed. The person he became was unrecognisable, and yet she sought similar characteristics in others. Noor wanted to cry but sipped her tea instead. She noticed Virinder walking towards her and sit down. She realised she knew nothing about him and, suddenly curious, decided to make an effort.

  “Are you working in the family business, Virinder?” she enquired.

  “Yes. I mean no,” he replied, a look of surprise clear on in his face.

  Noor laughed. “Which is it?”

  “Both. I have my own computer games company and I do the IT for my father’s company.”

  Noor heard Maalik snort as this reply.

  “My dad doesn’t rate it,” said Virinder dryly. “Have you played Time Traveller?”

  Noor frowned, it sounded familiar but she wasn’t sure. “I don’t think so...I’m not a gamer I’m afraid.”

  “That’s okay,” Virinder smiled.

  “What do you do for you father?” Noor asked.

  “According to him…nothing, but I keep the place running.”

  “I wouldn’t say that,” came Maalik’s curt response.

  “Well, I would,” said Virinder, a distinctive edge to his voice.

  Noor saw Maalik's face was set in a deep scowl. He wasn’t happy that she was giving Virinder attention. Tough.

  “That’s a matter of opinion,” Maalik reaffirmed.

  Virinder didn’t respond and the atmosphere was tense.

  “What is the game about?” said Noor, changing the subject.

  Virinder pulled an iPhone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen. “Here, try it,” he said kindly.

  Noor recognised the game at once. Everyone was playing it, she hadn’t because her phone was a cheap pay as you go.

  “This is your game?” she whispered in awe.

  “Yes,” said Virinder shyly.

  Noor was reassessing Virinder once more, he was full of surprises.

  “You show me how to play.”

  Virinder took his phone back. Noor lent in close and sat mesmerised by the game.

  “Your turn,” said Virinder, smiling

  Noor excitedly took the phone.

  “Are you both going to play silly games all night?” said Maalik, not trying to hide his annoyance.

  “Yes,” Noor giggled defiantly. This was the first fun she’d had since her father’s business collapsed.

  “You’re good, Noor,” said Virinder admiringly.

  Their gaze met and held as the barriers between them tumbled down.

  Noor’s smile was genuine. A warm feeling was spreading through her. They sat huddled over the phone, Noor enjoying every second.

  “Oh for God’s sake,” said Maalik.

  They both ignored him, engrossed in the app, but Noor was inexperienced and all too quickly her game was over.

  “I’ve got it on my computer, it’s even better on a bigger screen,” said Virinder.

  “Yes,” said Noor. “I can believe that.”

  “Will I get my laptop?” asked Virinder.

  Noor glanced at Maalik and hesitated. With so much riding on this marriage, she didn’t want to antagonise him further. She felt sure he was the one to make the decisions, but Virinder was already moving out of his seat. A phone was ringing and it took Noor a second to realise it was hers. She fumbled for it in her bag; her heart galloped as she feared the worst. She told her uncle only to call her if it was urgent.

  “Yes,” she answered anxiously.

  “Noor, thank God. Come quick, your father has fallen.”

  “Is he okay? Have you called an ambulance?”

  “Yes, but not here. I don’t know why. The shop closed but I can’t carry him on my own. I need help.”

  “Of course,” said Noor frantically. “I’m coming now. Call me back if the ambulance arrives.”

  Noor turned to Maalik. “I need to go home, my father is unwell.”

  “I’ll call you a taxi,” said Maalik icily.

  Noor was too shocked to reply.

  “No,” said Virinder, shooting his father an incredulous look. “I’ll run you”. He put the laptop down. Noor grabbed her coat and they rushed to the car. Maalik
didn’t even say goodbye. Noor was shaken by his coldness as she gave Virinder her address.

  “Ignore my father,” said Virinder suddenly.

  Noor, worried about her own father, merely nodded. Terror gripped her at the thought of losing him. He was all she had left in the world. A shadow of the man he was, but she loved him, he was still her dad. The journey seemed to last forever and Noor was grateful of the radio that filled the silence. She was too stressed to talk and Virinder seemed to sense that. As they turned onto her street she glanced at his face, he looked shocked. Noor could feel her heart sinking. This was her life, her reality, and as soon as Virinder saw it he’d run a mile.

  “Pull in anywhere,” she said harshly.

  Virinder pulled up outside the shop and Noor was out of the car running. Everything was locked up and she fumbled for the keys in her bag. Rushing, she struggled to unlock the door.

  “Give them to me.”

  She turned to see Virinder. He took her keys and opened the lock easily. Noor pushed past him, alarmed the ambulance still wasn’t there. She tore up the narrow staircase and this time opened the flat door easily.

  “Dad?” Noor shouted.

  “In here,” her uncle shouted.

  Noor pushed her father’s bedroom door open and gasped. Her father was lying unmoving on the floor. His face was deathly pale.

  “Is he....?” Noor burst into tears.

  “No, he’s breathing but we need ambulance.”

  Noor was conscious of Virinder entering the bedroom and then she heard him speak.

  “We requested an ambulance for this address over an hour ago. The patient is barely breathing. Where is it?”

  There was a silence. Virinder confirmed the address.

  “If there is not an ambulance outside in five minutes I’ll take the patient myself and sue for negligence,” he finished calmly. His voice was refined unlike her uncle’s thickly accented one. She wondered if that was the problem. Sometimes he was difficult to understand.

  Virinder knelt beside her uncle. “Get blankets, Noor, he’s cold.”

  Noor heard him through her panic. She moved to the bed and pulled the duvet off and carefully put it over her father.

  “What happened?” said Noor.

  “I working in shop and hear thump. I call up but your father no answer, so I check things okay. He on floor. He not wake up. I call 999 and then you. I'm sorry, Noor, I not know what to do,” her uncle said dejectedly.

  “You did the right thing,” said Noor, lifting and rubbing her father’s hand. He was so cold. He didn’t respond to her touch. “Dad, Dad, it’s Noor, can you hear me, Dad?”

  Nothing. Noor’s panic threatened to overwhelm her. He was dying in front of her eyes and no one was helping them. It was like before and Noor struggled not to lose all composure. Only the presence of Virinder prevented her from doing so, but it didn’t stop her tears. Frightened and anxious, they streamed down her face. She rubbed at them distractedly as she prayed, although her faith was not strong. She’d been totally abandoned by everyone and doubted a faith that condoned such behaviour. Her lips moved frantically. A loud banging at the door and she was up and running to open it. The paramedics took over, pushing everyone out of their way. Her relief quickly turned to anxiety. There was a sense of urgency and Noor barely had time to say goodbye before the ambulance door was closed.

  The blue light and sirens did nothing to allay Noor’s fears. She knew it must be bad.

  “What’s wrong with him?” she shouted over the noise.

  “Too early to tell,” replied the paramedic, also raising his voice to be heard over the wail. “We need to stabilise him first and then the doctors will run tests,” he said kindly. Noor turned away, fear ballooning in her chest. Her uncle has stayed behind to look after the shop. Yes, he was concerned...but business was business. Noor worried about time off work and about the bills she already struggled to pay. These thoughts made her angry but they wouldn’t go away. Her father’s health came first but if she wasn’t working then they might lose their home. She was already in debt to her uncle and he would draw the line at some point. She felt trapped. Unable to get a better job because she had to care for her dad, she knew her options were running out. The carers suggested a home but she wouldn’t consider it. She’d forgiven her father; it was, after all, only money. The price he paid was too high. She’d give anything to have him back, laughing and joking. His kind face creased with pleasure. They had said it was his kindness that caused his bankruptcy. Not being hard enough when his customers weren’t paying. Also, Ayran’s father was not so innocent either. He had known the company was it trouble and had transferred certain assets and funds without her father’s consent; forging his signature. While her father’s mind snapped with the pressure, his business partner started afresh. The whole thing stank but he’d gotten away with it. Noor was powerless and penniless. She’d confronted him with her allegations but he’d merely laughed and shrugged.

  “Prove it,” he’d challenged.

  Noor knew she couldn’t, the realisation and unfairness made her cry. She’d ran home only to find more unhappiness. Her father was losing his mind but her mother was broken. Her illness followed shortly afterwards. Noor closed those thoughts down. She didn’t speak to the paramedic again and was grateful he kept quiet. Gazing out of the window, the world was reflected in sepia. Noor was so tired of her hate; it had eaten her up until only a husk remained. With a desperate desire to change, she let it go and pushed her dark thoughts away for good. She’d also forgiven Ayran. He had been young and easily persuaded by his father to break off their engagement.

  That word still filled her with pain. Had she blown her chances again? Maalik had been cold and cruel when she gave Virinder her attentions. Would history repeat itself? She was sure he could persuade Virinder to change his mind. In fact, the engagement could be off anyway. Virinder had seen the real Noor, the one she desperately tried to hide. However, she’d felt drawn to him tonight, for once letting her defences down. To be truthful, she’d enjoyed his company and this time for the right reasons. It had been so long since she experienced this type of relationship. The others had been sex, no talking...just the frantic joining of bodies. The high Noor experienced didn’t last long. Despair quickly replaced it as the guy pulled up his trousers. She didn’t know how to stop the cycle of abuse. She felt worthless and treated her body, and those using it, with contempt. Virinder’s kindness tonight had breached her resistance. He’d gone from frosty to friendly and she didn’t understand the change. She only understood she’d responded to him; the first time since Ayran.

  Noor couldn’t let another man take her heart and trample it underfoot. She glanced at her father; his face was grey and sickly. What if he didn’t come round? What if he never woke up? She pictured Maalik’s cold face and knew she’d find no sympathy there. A sick and ailing father was not part of their agreement. From the beginning, she’d lied about her father. She must forget the stupid engagement; except she was on her own. Grimacing, she realised it was something she was used to. The ambulance was slowing down. Thank God they were at the hospital; her father could get the help he needed. Her stomach rumbled reminding Noor she’d had nothing to eat. All Nina’s lovely food had been forgone and now her body felt sluggish. She was so tired, tired of everything; the lack of money, the lack of food and the lack of love. Her father barely registered Noor, his gaze vague and absent. Her engagement was in tatters; Noor’s shoulders slumped as the weight of her life bore down on her. The paramedic was moving and the door opened. Noor stood aside to let them get to her father. Taking a deep breath she stepped outside.

  Virinder

  “Noor.”

  She spun around and blinked in surprise. Virinder was behind her, his face flushed from running.

  “Let’s go,” he urged.

  “Virinder, you don’t have to do this,” said Noor.

  “I’m coming with you,” said Virinder firmly.

  �
�Thank you,” Noor whispered.

  They walked quickly to catch up with the paramedics.

  “How is he?”

  “The same, he’s still unconscious.”

  The hospital was busy but her father was taken immediately. A doctor told Noor to wait until they called her. Virinder looked at her exhausted face. I’ll go get us some tea. Noor just nodded. Virinder thought how skinny she looked and wondered, after seeing her home, if she was eating. He had been shocked when he turned into the street. So this was what Noor was hiding...why she flirted with his father. She was poor and he had power. Virinder hadn’t understood why she was interested in him but now it all made sense. She needed the money. Was she supporting her father? She told them her father was unwell, but suddenly Virinder understood. When he arrived he’d thought her father was dead, the figure on the floor was so frail and weak. He’d looked around as they waited for the ambulance. There were signs of long time care evident in the room. Had Noor been caring for her father singled handedly? Virinder knew her mother had died of cancer but little else about her family situation. He’d been so caught up in his own insecurities, he hadn’t asked enough questions. His father’s skill was exploiting his weakness. Giving him a beautiful bride had done that. Maalik idenified Noor’s weakness immediately—poverty. Virinder thought she’d marry even his father to escape. He understood her veneer now. She was playing a game and the stakes were very high. However, he remembered her look of disgust when they’d first met.