The Braille Club Undone (The Braille Club #3)

by J. A. Kerr

  The thought was sobering but he wouldn’t be here right now but for Noor? He was also to blame. His weight issues had made him so unhappy. Virinder grasped it was a two-way road. He needed to want something in his life other than food—and now he did. He wanted Noor. They both seemed to have walls in place. Maybe they had more in common than he’d thought.

  “Here, drink this and I bought some sandwiches. They’re not great I’m afraid. Oh, and some crisps.”

  “Thank you,” said Noor, I’m not hungry.

  “Eat something, you’ll feel better, I promise. I should know,” said Virinder wryly.

  Noor looked startled and then gave him a wan smile. She took the food and sipped her tea.

  Virinder sat next to her.

  “Noor, until I met you I thought I’d never overcome my addiction to food. I want to be honest. I wasn’t happy about the engagement. My father, as you’ve seen, is not a reasonable man. He gave me no choice and I’m afraid I took my displeasure out on you.”

  “Virinder, you don’t need to explain,” said Noor softly. “I wasn’t very nice to you either.”

  “Noor, I like you but you don’t need to pretend anymore; if you don’t feel the same, I’ll understand,” said Virinder.

  Noor turned and stared at him. “I will tell you everything and when I’m finished you can decide.”

  Virinder felt hope rise in him.

  “When I was younger my family were rich and successful. I was engaged to be married when my father’s business failed; it had consequences. My father’s business partner was partly to blame for the failure. He was also my fiancé’s father.”

  Virinder winced; he suspected what would happen next.

  “The engagement was called off and I lost everything, and I mean everything. My home, my fiancé, and my future...gone just like that. We were shunned by everyone except my uncle. He helped us, only because my mother was sick and my father was losing his mind. When my mother died, so did what little remained of his sanity.”

  “Noor,” said Virinder, shocked. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t think I’m an innocent, Virinder. I’m not. I’m not the sweet virgin you and your family think I am. Quite the opposite.”

  Virinder's mouth fell open but he had nothing to say to that revelation.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever trust a man again. I was let down by my father, rejected by my fiancé, and cheated by his father.”

  “But your uncle helped you,” Virinder reminded her.

  “Yes, I suppose,” she agreed reluctantly. “I work like a slave in the shop to repay him but with my dad ill again, I’m frightened he’ll throw us out. I can’t pay my way as it is, never mind the debt I owe him.”

  “Noor, I’m so sorry,” said Virinder gravely.

  They sat in silence for a few seconds before Noor continued. “You were my ticket out. I hadn’t thought about Dad; I just wanted something for myself.”

  “Noor, everyone has a past, I do too, but it’s the future I’m interested in,” said Virinder.

  “I don’t have a future,” said Noor sadly.

  “I was always afraid, even when I was younger and found comfort in food. I was frightened of my father. He was a bully and instead of standing up to him I ate more and more. My mother liked to feed me and I liked to eat. My school days were hell and I was constantly bullied and constantly afraid. The cycle continued until very recently. When I was told about you I panicked. Noor, I have no experience with women.”

  Noor’s smile was sympathetic.

  “You’re beautiful.” Virinder smiled shyly.

  Noor’s face reddened.

  “But I understand my feelings are not reciprocated,” he said quietly.

  “I was wrong, Virinder,” said Noor quickly. “I judged you before I got to know you. Spending time with you tonight changed that.”

  Virinder’s smile widened. “The weight loss was all down to you. I wanted to change for you.”

  “You did,” said Noor. “You should be very proud and I do not deserve any credit.” She stood as she saw the doctor approaching.

  “Your father is stable but it was a mild heart attack. He’s extremely dehydrated. I hope once we get fluids into his system he’ll make a good recovery.”

  “Oh my God,” Noor exclaimed,

  “He’s underweight and weak but his vitals are strong,” smiled the doctor kindly. “Once he’s feeling better, most patients go on to lead a normal life.”

  “When can I take him home?” said Noor anxiously.

  “I’m not sure at this stage. We want to see him eating and drinking,” said the doctor, looking at his notes.

  Noor’s heart sunk. What if her father didn’t cooperate? Would they keep him here indefinitely?

  “His appetite is poor,” said Noor.

  “I see,” said the doctor frowning. “That might be his current medication. I will change his anti-depressants to see if we can improve it.”

  “Oh,” said Noor. “Do you think it will work?”

  “Time will tell,” said the doctor. “You can see him now.”

  Virinder moved to sit down but Noor turned and whispered urgently, “Come with me.”

  She looked like a frightened child and Virinder nodded. Noor’s father looked shrunken and ill in the bed. His face was grey but, Virinder noted, it did have more colour. Noor kissed his dry cheek and took his hand. He opened his eyes slowly. They were full of confusion and as if this effort exhausted him, they drooped shut. Virinder sat in the other chair and watched Noor. She spoke softly and lovingly to her father and Virinder felt a pang of regret. He knew there would be no such words between him and his father. Although Noor’s father had disappointed her, she still loved him and Virinder was sure she was loved in return. His own father loathed him and his mother’s love was suffocating and dangerous. He stayed, sitting quietly until the nurse told them both it was time to leave.

  Virinder stood and together they left the ward. Noor was quiet on the journey home and seemed lost in her own thoughts. He insisted on taking her inside. He was appalled by their home. Noor had done her best but the flat was old fashioned, damp and depressing. He went to the tiny kitchen but there was nothing in the fridge. However, the shop was open downstairs. He knocked quietly on the door that led to the shop, not wanting to startle the person working inside. The door was opened by a teenage boy with a sullen mouth.

  “Where’s Noor?” he demanded.

  “Upstairs,” said Virinder coolly.

  “Well, if she’s home, she can take over,” said the boy grumpily, pulling on his jacket.

  “I’ll take over,” said Virinder sharply, “but I will make Noor some tea first, do you understand?” he said pointedly.

  The young boy scowled but said nothing further as he rang up the purchases before he slumped back down on the stool. Virinder put away the milk and biscuits and went to ask Noor how she liked her tea. She was fast asleep on the sofa. He pulled the duvet from her single bed and wrapped it around her. He scribbled a note saying he was downstairs in the shop and retraced his steps. The boy opened the door quickly, shoving the keys into Virinder’s hands.

  “Make sure you lock up properly,” he grunted. “We close at ten.”

  He turned and stomped out of the shop. Virinder had been up all night but didn’t feel tired. The shop opened early for the papers that stood in bundles ready to be put on shelves and Virinder started there. A slow but steady stream of customers kept him busy over the next few hours. He wondered when Noor’s uncle would turn up. Surely he didn’t expect Noor to work her shift, or did he? He’d kept his parents up to date with events but omitted to tell them he was working in the shop. His father told him to come home but Virinder was done doing what his parents wanted. Somehow he felt strangely free. The only other time he felt like that was at the Braille Club. The morning passed quickly and as Virinder stifled a yawn he heard the door behind him open. A rumpled, bleary eyed Noor was standing open mouthed watching him.
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  “Do you want tea?” he asked cheerfully. His heart soared at the sight of her and he knew then what he must do.

  “Virinder, why are you...tea?” she asked confused.

  “I took over from your cousin,” said Virinder. “I didn’t catch his name,” he said dryly.

  Nook looked furious for a second. “Sanjay. I will kill the lazy little...”

  “No, I insisted,” said Virinder.

  Noor shook her head in wonder. “Why are you helping me?”

  “Because that’s what friends do,” said Virinder firmly. “We are friends aren’t we, Noor?” he asked.

  Disappointment crossed Noor’s face. “The engagement is off?” she said with an air of defeat.

  Virinder walked over to her and said, “We need to talk, let’s get that cup of tea.”

  He saw it with his own eyes. The vulnerability disappeared. Her face became closed. She straightened her shoulders and in the coldest of voices said, “I’ll bring it down for you.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “You sit here and I’ll do it.”

  Her face, once soft, hardened further as she stared at him. She nodded and sat down on the stool he’d vacated. Ten minutes later, Virinder was ready to talk, although Noor was distant. It took time to discover the real Noor. In the beginning, his judgement was clouded by many things until circumstances revealed the woman behind the facade. This was the woman he’d fallen in love with. He saw her surprise as he took her hand. “I want nothing more in the world than to marry you, Noor, but I need to know it’s for the right reasons. I know you don’t love me but I’m willing to wait if you can learn to?”

  Noor blinked rapidly. “This.” Her hand swept around her, “is my life. I’m not sure I’m capable of love anymore,” she said. “Love doesn’t pay the bills,” she sighed. “You’re right, I don’t love you but then you don’t love me either. We barely know each other.” Noor hung her head. “I saw you as a way to escape and I’m ashamed. I have my father to care for and he’s all I’ve got.” A tear slid down her face as she angrily dashed it away. “Virinder, you’re not obligated to me. You have done so much already and I cannot repay you.”

  Virinder reached out and tilted Noor’s chin upwards. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I’m scared,” said Noor.

  “I will never hurt you...but without love, we are lost,” said Virinder quietly.

  Noor's face was soft again. He saw a hesitant smile. “I can try,” she said.

  The door opened and brought an end to their conversation. Noor’s uncle was annoyed to discover Sanjay’s absence.

  He looked worried. “How is your father?” he asked.

  “He will recover,” said Noor, her eyes shining. “He was dehydrated and weak but they said he’s improving.”

  “Such good news,” he said, embracing Noor.

  “Go to him now, I’ll look after the shop,” he said, and pushed Noor toward the internal door. Her face swivelled toward Virinder; a look of panic in her eyes.

  “I’ll wait until you’re ready,” he said. “Then I’ll take you to the hospital.”

  Her face shone with happiness. “Thank you,” she breathed before disappearing inside.

  “You are a good man,” said Noor’s uncle. “I think my brother will like you.”

  Virinder smiled, “I hope so because I love his daughter very much.”

  Chapter 41

  The Braille Club Undone

  The Braille Club, London. Two Years On. Swingers Zone Trial. Guy was last to enter. The blood pumped through his veins. His saw the masked and seated Patron and their eyes met. He secured the Braille brackets on first the Patron and then the Assignee. He took a deep breath and waited for the Braille clock to count down.

  Nick

  Nick was nervous about his first parole hearing. It was unexpected but not unwelcome. Although prepared for the occasion, he was still nervous. He had worked hard with his fellow prisoners and the outcome had been rewarding. The prison governor had recognised this and made it work to his advantage. They had struck a deal of sorts; the governor claimed the idea as his own and Nick agreed on the condition an early parole hearing was arranged. The governor remained unconvinced of Nick’s commitment to the prisoner rehabilitation programme until Nick assured him he would continue to visit and advise even after his release. Nick, as persuasive as ever, assured him it was to their mutual benefit. The governor was shrewd. He wanted to see results. Slowly but surely, Nick delivered them. Using his alternative method of hypnotherapy, Nick picked inmates that he knew were susceptible.

  Prison broke down people in different ways. Eventually, his fellow prisoners approached him because it was the only help on offer. They were often desperate with multiple issues. He had his share of failures but not many. The governor began to take notice. Nick was called to his office and asked to provide a blueprint of his methods and procedures. He spent weeks working on the document. When he finally submitted it, the governor looked it over and said he’d be in touch. Weeks passed with no news. Nick concentrated on doing what he did best; unlocking the secrets of the mind. Thoughts of the plans he was making on the outside kept him calm. Regardless of the governor’s decision, things were happening in the real world which was a comfort.

  When the summons came to meet the governor, Nick wasn’t hopeful. However, as he listened, he realised he’d achieved his goal. The prison was going to adopt the process. The governor had been congratulated by the prison authorities. Nick Waters had done it and there was great interest in the work he was doing. From that point onwards, Nick’s life improved. He was given a room where he could treat inmates. There were cameras watching him but he had nothing to hide. His aim was to help inmates and help himself. He ploughed on working tirelessly…what else did he have to do? Months had turned into years and Nick had become absorbed in his work. So when the announcement of his parole hearing came, it was a shock. He wondered about the parole board he would meet. Assessing them as individuals and how they worked as a team would be crucial. He must remain calm and collected. Showing remorse was the key factor and Nick was sorry. Yes, he was very sorry indeed, although not for the reasons he would tell the board. At first he regretted not killing Siena because if Nick could not have her then no one should. The bitch deserved to die for what she had done to him. However, slowly his opinion changed. Siena has survived for a reason and that reason became clear to Nick; they must be together again.

  He looked in the mirror and smiled. His reflection looked relaxed and confident. Moving his features his expression changed. Humble. Repentant. He had practiced over and over. Nick knew his speech by heart. As he entered the room the faces of the board were inscrutable. Nick kept his gaze lowered. His heart was pounding and his throat was dry. He sat down and looked up nervously; the hearing began. His ambitious project of treating his inmates seemed to go down well with the panel. They’d commended him on his dedication and noted his intention to carry on even after his release. Nick’s motives were more about collecting material for his book than helping his fellow prisoners, but the panel didn’t know that. Also he wanted to stay connected to those prisoners he helped. They owed him and he would collect when he was ready. Nick played his role to perfection. He was asked to wait outside while a decision was made. The moment of truth arrived. He almost stumbled leaving the room. Stunned, it took a moment for the decision he’d just heard to sink in as he returned to his cell. The shock was starting to wear off. Terms like model prisoner, innovative and successful patient programme, and rehabilitated swam in his head. He pictured Siena’s face and smiled. They were all fools, but he was free...parole granted. Free to do whatever he wanted...and he wanted Siena.

  Chapter 42

  The Braille Club Undone

  The Braille Club, London. Two Years On. Swingers Zone Trial. This zone was purely sexual and not sensual like before. Members wanted explicit stimulation while others wanted to watch. Guy could feel the Patron’s gaze boring into hi
m. The Assignee sat with legs wide apart. He lifted the control, the session had begun.

  Guy

  Guy felt dazed as he stumbled out of the club. One minute they were together and the next they were apart. How did that happen and why? Their Braille Club zone had given them both an intense experience. He wanted to improve on it by exploring what else was out there...but never thought for a moment it would cost him his relationship. He wanted to share everything with Anna and stupidly thought she’d want the same. Since he entered the world of BDSM, he’d felt conflicted. He wanted its pleasures but only with Anna on board. It seemed they did not share the same goals. So they didn’t fit the regular mould. They were both dominants. No. Guy realised, they were both the same. Was he brave enough to give Anna control? He realised some of what she said made sense. A more experienced Dom would teach Anna her limits better than he could. His jealousy roared. Never. He could not share her. Instead, he’d let her go.

  Although he’d been brave enough to walk away from her, he wasn’t feeling brave now. An indescribable ache formed in his heart the minute he said those words. “This is the end for us.” He’d meant them in the heat of the moment but now as he stood alone, he wasn’t sure. Anna chose her husband over him. Their breakup had blown his world apart. He’d barely survived the fallout and now she was doing it again; choosing someone other than him. The ache intensified. This time Anna was choosing her own desires over their commitment to each other. Guy drew in a ragged breath and stopped walking. He needed to think. He entered a bar with no real awareness. Standing there, he ordered a drink. He couldn’t get Anna’s face out of his head. She had started the relationship again and although it wasn’t exactly conventional, he’d been happy; their rough patch over the last few weeks repaired by their zone experience. He’d thought they’d turned a corner…and still found it hard to believe their relationship was over.