The Inside Man: A Dublin Nights Novel

by Sahin, Brittney

  “I mean, this is the best possible outcome, right? Luca not being involved. Everyone is safe again. Holly. Adam. Anna.” I listed the entire string of names, everyone I could think of.

  “I guess,” Sebastian said. “But even out-of-towners need to know Alessia is off-limits, which means we still have our work cut out for us.”

  “The footage,” Cole snapped out, bringing our attention to him. “What about the security cameras? You’re seriously telling me the muggers erased the evidence?” He refused to let this go, didn’t he?

  Emilia stood and eyed me. “We have to tell them.”

  What? Shit. No.

  “What is she talking about?” Sebastian’s eyes went straight to me, and it was as if he’d just squeezed a trigger, releasing a bullet that hit me dead center in the chest.

  “I, um.” This wasn’t the plan we’d agreed on, and I didn’t have a clue how to respond right now.

  “Alessia asked a favor of me.” Emilia looked at my brother. “She was worried you two would lose your minds if you saw surveillance of the attack. I was the one who erased the footage. Of course, I checked it first, and it was also how I managed to tip off the Garda with the little information I could garner to help catch the bastards.”

  I tried not to let my shoulders sag with relief, to clue them in that I was hiding something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you killing again because of me.” I chose to focus on Sebastian, afraid if I looked Cole in the eyes, he’d be able to read the lies there.

  And now that this situation was growing more intense, and more complicated, I wasn’t even sure how I’d be able to share the hotel room with him.

  If you refuse to tell Cole the truth, then you need to distance yourself from him until this is over, Emilia had said to me at the club last night. Are you sure you really want to keep lying, though?

  I hadn’t given her an answer last night. I’d just gotten Cole back in my life. We’d shared so many firsts in the last few days, I couldn’t abandon what we were building, not even temporarily. He agreed we’d keep things platonic until it was determined whether or not Luca was responsible for my attack . . . but with Luca off the hook, where did that leave things between Cole and me now?

  “You don’t need to apologize.” Cole spoke first, and now I’d need to give him my attention.

  I peered his way, starting with his dark dress shoes, then I gathered my focus up his charcoal dress pants to his shirt, then to the loosened knot of his tie, and lastly, to his face.

  I stepped forward and flung my arms over his shoulders without thinking and hugged him tight, unable to stop myself. Unable to care who was watching.

  I wasn’t ready to tell him the entire truth, not yet, at least, but like hell would I push him away.

  He held me tight to him, his large hands spanning my back. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know Emilia and my brother were leaving. I heard their footsteps. Felt the lack of their presence. Then the click of the door opening and closing.

  I remained in Cole’s arms, not ready to pull away. I needed his warmth. His touch.

  “I’m sorry,” I said into his chest, my tears wetting his shirt. “I’m sorry for lying.” For so many lies.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered against my ear, the soothing tone giving me serious reservations about my plan to keep Cole in the dark.

  But would he let me do what I needed to do? Or would he build walls around me?

  “I’m not mad, I promise.” He stroked his fingers through my hair a few times, another attempt to calm me.

  It took a few quiet minutes of hugging before I dared to step out of his embrace. His forehead was tight with worry when his warm eyes found mine.

  “You, um, won’t need to stay here now. I’m sure you’d rather be at your new place.” I forced a weak, pathetic smile.

  “I’d rather be with you,” he said without pause.

  I turned from him, trying to wade through the murky waters as if I’d forgotten how to swim. “I don’t think I’m ready for the next step with us. Not yet, I mean.” My stomach squeezed, and I pressed the side of my forearm to my abdomen to try and handle the pain. Emotional freaking pain was the worst. “The attack brought up memories, and I—”

  “You don’t need to explain.” His hands went to the sides of my arms, and he brought his chest to my back. “I’d wait forever for you, and you know that.”

  “I should have waited, and instead, I ran.” I whirled around to face him. “This isn’t me running, though. I promise.” My lip quivered as he snatched my arms again to hold on to me as if afraid I’d disappear.

  He lightly touched his forehead to mine, and I let go of a soft breath.

  “A little more time,” I whispered. Time to somehow try and fix everything.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alessia

  The club was closed on Wednesdays, which was when Sebastian and I typically handled all the paperwork. My eyes were burning from staring at the spreadsheets on my laptop, the data the furthest thing from my mind.

  “You look tired, Miss Alessia.”

  I removed my special blue light glasses Sebastian insisted I wear whenever on a computer to block out the light that was apparently bad for my eyes. This was another example of his overprotectiveness. Okay, maybe it was just an example of how much he cared.

  I glimpsed Declan’s younger brother, Samuel, sitting at the bar top across from where I stood and pushed my laptop aside.

  Since we were closed on Wednesdays, he liked to come after school to do his homework while Declan restocked the inventory.

  “I’m okay.” I smiled. “Don’t worry about me. How are you? How’s your mom?”

  My brother had helped out his family last year when I’d still been locked away. Their mother almost died from an overdose, but now she worked at our hotel and lived there with her sons to give them a better life.

  My brother was a good man, even though he’d worn the “devil” persona for years. I should never have pushed him out of The League, which ultimately led to the downward spiral of far too many tragic events, including my imprisonment.

  I’d made so many mistakes, and I only hoped my decisions since the attack Saturday would not wind up in the same column.

  “Ma’s good. She’s even starting to eat healthier and exercise,” he said with an ecstatic look in his blue eyes. Samuel was a mini-Declan, with big dreams and hope in his heart.

  “That’s great. I’m so happy to hear it.” I set my hand on top of his, and he closed the science book he’d been reading. “How is Mrs. Anna?”

  Anna worked with Samuel and Declan at the youth center up until a few weeks ago when the pregnancy started to take its toll. And thankfully, she and the baby were okay, which meant she’d be back there in no time. “Anna and Braden are getting released Friday. I’m sure you’ll be able to see her and the baby soon. Braden’s got a full head of dark hair and the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s adorable.”

  “You going to have kids, Miss Alessia?”

  My hands went to the counter as if bracing for impact, my thoughts whirling with the idea of the possibility. “Maybe.”

  “I hope you do. I think you and Mr. Cole would make great babies.”

  Heat touched my cheeks at his comment. “Oh? You think Mr. Cole and I—”

  “I’m twelve. Not dumb.” He winked and jumped down off the stool at the sight of his brother walking out of the back room. “Can I have my thirty minutes of iPad time now? I finished my homework.”

  Declan had the tablet tucked under his arm. “You gotta show me your math first, and only then do I hand this bad boy over.” He held his free hand in the air. “Only thirty minutes while I finish up here. Then we’ll go play football at the park.”

  I closed my laptop, catching sight of Cole and Sebastian walking into the club. It was only four o’clock. Usually, Cole stayed at his office until at least five.

  I left the bar to meet up with them. “Everything okay?”

&n
bsp; I’d barely seen Cole since Sunday. We’d had an hour here and an hour there, but he’d been swamped with his daytime and nighttime jobs, and I hadn’t been overly eager to be around him. I was worried I’d spill the truth about my plans with Emilia.

  Cole removed his black suit jacket and draped it over his arm. His eyes gleamed when they met mine. He wanted to kiss me, didn’t he? And part of me wished he would kiss me now even in front of Sebastian, even after what my poor brother had to witness Sunday morning.

  I must have wet my lips because Cole’s gaze was now pinned to my mouth.

  “Yeah, everything is okay, but we should talk in my office,” Sebastian said, glancing at Declan and Samuel at the bar as Declan checked Samuel’s homework.

  I trailed behind Cole and Sebastian, then leaned against the wall next to the door once we were inside the office. Folding my arms across my chest, I studied the grim look on Sebastian’s face. “What’s going on?” I finally asked when they remained quiet.

  Sebastian leaned his hip against the desk as Cole set his jacket down and tucked his hands into his pockets, standing alongside my brother.

  It was an interesting sight. The two of them together.

  If only . . .

  No, I wouldn’t let my mind wander there.

  I pushed off the wall and reached for my necklace, forgetting it wasn’t there. “What is it?” I asked, annoyed they were clearly worried I’d fall apart and break at any moment.

  “Adrian Petrov is in town,” Sebastian announced.

  I tried to keep my expression flat, void of any emotion. But on the inside, I was dying. “And based on the sound of your voice, he’s a bad guy?”

  I knew this. I may have even known more about the Petrovs than my brother and Cole did.

  My chance to open up, to tell the truth, was now.

  But the words dried up in my throat and died on my tongue.

  “Adrian is Maxim Petrov’s nephew,” Cole began, “and one of the most powerful Russian crime bosses in the world.”

  “I, um, thought you said last week after you went to the casino you weren’t looking to get into a war with a Russian mob,” I forced out.

  “A man low down in Petrov’s organization runs the new casino in town, but Adrian’s presence has nothing to do with that,” Cole explained.

  I relaxed my hands, worried I was going to draw Cole’s attention. “Why do you think he’s here?” I fought to keep my voice from squeaking as my palms grew sweaty. I’d never been a good liar. And Cole knew my “tells.” He’d start picking up on them if I wasn’t careful.

  I’m making the right decision. They’ll forgive me for what I’ve done once they know the truth. I forgave Sebastian for keeping secrets from me.

  I’d already made up my mind to heed the warning to keep The League out of this hell, thereby ensuring the safety of my friends and family. This was my mess to clean up.

  I didn’t want to create a war between The League and the Petrovs.

  Sebastian shook his head. “Maxim’s only son, Dimitri, disappeared eight months ago. Intel that Dimitri had been killed pointed to a small rival faction in Moscow as being responsible, even though they hadn’t recovered his body. Maxim placed Adrian in charge of bringing his son’s killers to justice. Adrian decimated the gang who were supposedly responsible for abducting and murdering Dimitri.”

  I turned, unable to look them in the eyes and continue to lie.

  Because I knew the truth.

  “But?” I asked, sensing it was coming and flinched at the touch of a hand on my shoulder, having no choice but to turn and face Cole.

  “We received word Maxim now has reason to believe someone else killed Dimitri, and with Adrian’s sudden presence in Dublin, we just want to be cautious,” Cole explained, my stomach suffering from that awful sinking feeling. “No going anywhere alone, especially when Sebastian and I are in London.”

  “The Petrovs respect The League, but we have enemies who may try and place blame upon us for Dimitri’s death, as they did when we first learned of Dimitri’s disappearance eight months ago,” Sebastian added.

  Cole held my arm, his intense brown eyes, robbed of the gold tones right now, set on my face. Worry noticeable in the tight strain of his jaw.

  “We’re being open with you, Alessia. No more secrets.” Sebastian’s words directed my attention his way. “I made the mistake of not telling you everything in the past, and I don’t want to do that again.”

  My heart was going to break. Regret rolled in like fog, blanketing me with doubt.

  I’m not making a mistake, I reminded myself.

  A mistake would be notifying the FBI instead of following a ransom demand, right? In my case, following the demands of the Petrovs was essential to the safety of my loved ones. Although, Emilia had an idea of how to turn this dire situation to our advantage, and she was pushing and prodding me to enlist the help of both Cole and Sebastian.

  “Thank you.” My skin crawled. That irritating feeling of an itch you’re not allowed to scratch. I was shaking on the inside and had to hide it. I wasn’t some weak damsel in distress, but because of Luca, because of his actions, I was also now a liar. A murderer. “I appreciate your honesty.”

  “There is one thing I have to ask you. It’s a longshot, but we have to be absolutely certain.” Cole kept his hand on my arm. He was always so fearful of letting me go, I’d noticed. I ran away once, and here he was, doing his best to prevent that from happening again. “Did you happen to come across Dimitri Petrov at the prison where Luca held you captive?”

  Guilt needled me in the chest, but I couldn’t bend forward and cry in protest from the pain. “Didn’t you already look into who’d been there? And if Dimitri died . . .” I didn’t know how to finish.

  “There was no sign of Dimitri after you were released, but that doesn’t mean Luca didn’t have him there at one point,” Sebastian answered. “I reached out to the staff to be certain we didn’t miss something, but they said he’d never been an inmate.”

  I wanted to squeeze my eyes closed as tight as possible. I wanted to escape this room. There wasn’t enough air. I was falling victim to both the truth and the lies. “Then why are you asking me? Why do you think Luca may have anything to do with this?” The lies were going to shred me.

  “Because based on what we’re now hearing, and if it’s true, Dimitri didn’t die eight months ago. It happened more recently, which meant he had to have been somewhere during that time period,” Sebastian answered. “And I wouldn’t put anything past Luca. The guards at his prison might be too scared to tell the truth. They don’t want the Petrovs as an enemy, especially given their Russian citizenship. And Luca could’ve easily changed Dimitri’s name in the prison records.” Sebastian’s voice remained calm, but I could tell he was working to keep it that way, his hate for Luca on the verge of slipping through.

  “And why would Luca be involved? What would he have to gain from interfering in Russian business?” I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to avoid answering questions by asking my own.

  “Since Luca climbed into bed with The Alliance, I wouldn’t put it past them to force Luca to do them a favor. The Petrovs are one of their biggest enemies, aside from us. The Alliance won’t outright attack the Petrovs for fear of war, but this kind of thing is their MO,” Sebastian said. “They were also the ones who tried to blame The League when Dimitri first went missing to create a wedge between our organizations, but—”

  “Luca wanted to be League leader of France. Why would he do something back then that’d jeopardize The League? He only worked with The Alliance as a means to get rid of you and get what he wanted.” And shit, was I supposed to know all that? I was beginning to mix up what I’d learned post-prison and during my time there.

  Sebastian’s brows lifted in obvious surprise. “How much did Luca talk to you while you were there?”

  Cole turned to the side, pacing the short width of the room. His anger was flaring up, no doubt at th
e realization of how little he knew about my time in Luca’s prison.

  “He told me everything, including his deal with The Alliance to have you removed and to guarantee his own rise to power.” My heartbeat intensified with every word delivered.

  “I’m sorry to make you talk about this.” Sebastian advanced closer and brought his hands to my shoulders. “I can’t imagine what you went through, and—”

  “You’ve already apologized. I don’t need you to do it again.” The last thing I wanted was for anyone I loved trying to take ownership of what Luca did. “I do need some air, though.”

  Sebastian’s dark brown eyes remained fixed on mine for a beat longer. When I started for the door, Cole turned my way, his brows pinched.

  I snatched my mobile from the bar, took off out of the club, and called Emilia. “Cole knows Adrian is in town, and he even asked me about Dimitri,” I blurted once she answered.

  “Okay, take a breath,” she said, her tone even-tempered. Always so steady. “I was expecting this. Luca didn’t have Dimitri’s name in any records, and you already know where the guards stand. They’ll never breathe a word about him or what happened there. They gave you their word.”

  “I can’t keep lying right to their faces. I never thought they’d ask me about this.”

  “And you know how I feel about lying.” Emilia’s Italian accent grew thicker, her sincerity cutting through.

  “But what if Adrian finds out I told them? What if I don’t get the chance to fix this?” What if Cole tries to trade his life to save mine? Any bit of confidence I had plunged to a steep death inside of me.

  “Adrian is a criminal trying to stand his ground. He doesn’t want war with The League, which is the only reason he hasn’t taken you yet.”

  I wasn’t convinced, though. The risk of losing Cole now that I had him again was incomprehensible. “I can’t tell him. Not yet. I’m sorry,” I rushed out, my voice breaking. “How are we going to make tomorrow work now, though? Cole wants to keep tabs on me.”

  She was quiet for a moment, probably irritated with me for not agreeing with her. “I’ll make sure Ronan talks.”