Transgalactic Antics

by J. J. Green

  “Hurry up,” said Belinda. “I want to get this over with as soon as possible.” The half-dandrobian shoved a helmet at her.

  Carrie’s face fell. Of all the trainees they could have picked, it had to be her. She put the device back in her bag and snatched the helmet out of Belinda’s hands. Then she remembered Gavin’s words about getting along with her colleagues. That was easy enough when you were working with reasonable people, but Belinda took the biscuit in rudeness, arrogance and downright pigheadedness.

  Outside the starship, Carrie slowly kicked her way over to the water scooters. Belinda swam past her and had hopped aboard a water scooter and zoomed away while Carrie was still fixing her briefing tablet in her dashboard. Damn that woman. Can’t she wait five minutes?

  The coordinates flashed, and Carrie set off. The water in this part of the planet was murkier than the previous place they had worked. She squinted as she peered through the gloom. Belinda was already quite far ahead, her vehicle glinting in the green light from above. Carrie increased her speed to try to catch up to her, but Belinda was going at full throttle, and she couldn’t close the gap. The two travelled along for some time before there was a flash of brilliant light to Carrie’s left.

  Turning her head for a closer look, she caught her breath. Not far distant from her was a collection of small water creatures. In the glow fading from the flash, she could see them moving into a new, intricately detailed pattern. A second brilliant flash came, and Carrie shielded her eyes. What the animals were doing, she didn’t know. Maybe it was courtship or mating behaviour, or maybe they were communicating with far distant members of their species, or maybe even her. Whatever the behaviour was for, it was beautiful and fascinating to watch.

  Carrie gazed at the creatures’ display for a short while before reluctantly drawing her eyes away. She had to get to the marsoliie meeting. If it were not for that, she could have stayed and watched them all day. Searching ahead, she could see no sign whatsoever of Belinda now. She started up her vehicle and sped onward. Her distance counter indicated she was already quite near. She should be able to see the marsoliie somewhere ahead, but there was no sign of them. Deciding it must be due to the murky water, she pressed on. But after another few moments’ travel, when her distance counter stood at zero, she still saw nothing but empty ocean.

  Stopping her waterscooter, she peered at her coordinates. She was sure the numbers were different from those displayed when she set off. As she watched, the numbers flickered and changed. She was right. They were different. But what did the fact they were changing mean? Was the marsoliie meeting moving?

  Carrie hesitated. The obvious thing to do would be to contact Belinda by radio and ask her what was happening. But the thought of admitting she was lost left a bad taste in her mouth. She started up her scooter again and set off, following the new coordinates. Soon after, the coordinates changed again. Carrie hoped the new position was closer to her, or that at least that the marsoliie weren’t moving so quickly she would never catch them up.

  “Where are you?” Belinda’s voice burst in her ear. “I’ve been waiting for you to arrive to begin the meeting. The marsoliie are very tense.”

  “I’m on my way, but...” The coordinates changed yet again.

  “But what? Hey, keep back.” Belinda’s exclamation was accompanied by a rushing sound as, Carrie presumed, Belinda’s translator converted her words to body language.

  “Are you moving?” Carrie asked. “I keep seeing new coordinates.”

  “Moving? No, we’ve been in the same—stop that immediately. On behalf of the Transgalactic Council, I demand...” The rest of Belinda’s words were lost in a swishes and bubbles.

  Carrie gripped the handles on her water scooter. If the marsoliie weren’t moving, why was she constantly seeing new numbers?

  “Damn it, Carrie, get over here. The Groups are taking over the Singles. I can’t control them by myself.”

  “I’m trying, but there’s something wrong with my briefing device. It keeps changing the coordinates.”

  “Arghh...keep away. Turn it off and on again you idiot. I’m recording this, you know.”

  Carrie hoped the final comment was directed at the marsoliie and not her. Belinda’s advice about her briefing device was sound. Why hadn’t she thought of it before? After quickly thumbing the plastic tablet off and on, the coordinates seemed to finally stabilise. She set off at full speed. But how many Singles had been taken by Groups while she’d been lost?

  In front of her was a reddish patch of ocean that was growing larger. She let out a sigh of relief. This had to be the meeting place. As she drew close, however, her hands clenched to fists on her scooter handlebars. All she could see was Groups, everywhere. She scanned again for Singles, but she couldn’t see any at all. Belinda was waiting for her among them, her hands on her hips.

  “Don’t tell me...” Carrie said as reached her colleague.

  “I did my best, but you weren’t here to help.”

  “Hey, it wasn’t my fault my briefing device wasn’t working properly.”

  “You took your time figuring it out. Why didn’t you contact me sooner?”

  “Because I...I...” Carrie couldn’t see Belinda’s face very well, but she was sure she heard a sneer in her tone. “You said you were recording them. Maybe the Council can use the evidence to make them give up the Singles they took?”

  “It was an empty threat, and they knew it. The marsoliie are indistinguishable, and the Singles will already have lost all memory of what happened.” She climbed aboard her water scooter. Her head facing forward, away from Carrie, she said, “I knew you were incompetent from the moment I saw you out of uniform on Oootoon. The success you had on that mission was pure luck, and you managed to tarnish my perfect record along the way. I predicted it wouldn’t be long until you messed up, and I was right.” She sped away, parting a collection of pulsating Group marsoliie as she went.

  At first, Carrie seethed at Belinda’s words, but as she returned to the Council starship her anger faded and her heart grew heavy.

  Chapter Sixteen – About Face

  Carrie didn’t dare hope Belinda would spare her when it came to feeding back to Errruorerrrrrhch and the other trainees about their encounter with the marsoliie, and she was right. The half-dandrobian went into excruciating detail as she related how she had been forced to single-handedly try to prevent the Groups from attacking the Singles, all the while waiting and waiting for her colleague to appear and lend a hand. She explained how, when Carrie had finally made contact, she’d had to advise her on the simple and obvious solution to equipment malfunction. She described how Carrie had appeared on the scene long after it was too late to save the Singles. She concluded with the fact that, as the Singles were in the last stages of losing their minds to the Groups who had captured them, they cursed the Transgalactic Council for allowing their entrapment.

  Belinda didn’t embellish her story with additional details. She didn’t need to. Carrie’s impulsive decision to forge ahead and not think carefully about what she was doing was apparent to every listener, none more so than herself. By the time Belinda stopped speaking, every eye on was on Carrie. She hung her head low, wilting under their gaze. Gavin had been right. The trainee who was going to fail was her. There was no doubt in her mind now.

  “And what did you learn from your experiences today, Officer Hatchett?” Errruorerrrrrhch asked.

  Carrie looked up. The other trainees waited patiently for her to speak. But she had nothing to say. There was nothing she could say that would justify her behaviour, nor return the captured Singles to their former status. She didn’t know why she had even come to the session. It was all over for her. She lifted her bag to her shoulder, stood up and walked out.

  ***

  “Carrie, I know you’re awake,” said Dave.

  She opened her eyes to see her friend’s concerned face level with her own as she lay in the top bunk. Hoping the marks of her tears weren’t
showing, she smiled bravely. “I was tired. I thought I’d have a lie down. How did the rest of the session go? What was your day like?”

  Dave rested his elbows on her bed. “It was okay. A bit boring, really. No one made much headway. The Groups around here are much too vicious. They won’t listen to reason. Are you okay? I was worried about you after you left the room without giving your feedback.”

  Carrie sat up on her elbows. “Yes, I’m all right. It was just listening to Belinda going on like that, and everyone hearing how I messed up, I couldn’t stand it. What happened to those poor Singles was all my fault.”

  Dave’s eyebrows lifted. “All your fault? I don’t think anyone thought that. We all had a hard time today. Even with both of you there, you probably couldn’t have stopped what happened.”

  “I could have tried at least.” Tears pricked her eyes again. “I don’t know. Maybe if it hadn’t been Belinda of all people, telling everyone what I’d done.”

  “Hmm, yeah, she didn’t pull any punches, did she? But you showed her up when you were on your very first job. Put her to shame. If she had taken over from you, like Gavin planned, no one would have found out what the placktoids were doing. She needs to get her revenge to feel better about herself.”

  Carrie frowned. She hadn’t thought of it like that, but maybe Dave had a point.

  “Are you getting up?” he asked. “It’s nearly time for dinner.”

  “No, I’m going to give it a miss. I’m not feeling up to facing them all yet, and I really am tired. It’s been a long week.”

  “Well, if you’re sure. I heard the chef’s pulling out all the stops tonight. It’s bound to taste fantastic.”

  Laughing, Carrie said, “He can’t top the mouldy carrots and sludge flavour of last night’s dinner.”

  Her friend nodded. “You’re right. And to think I’ve been missing out on sludge-flavoured food all these years.” The doorbell sounded, and Carrie and Dave looked at each other quizzically. Had Gavin come back for another visit, his dreadful children in tow?

  “You open it,” said Dave. He went into the shower room.

  Carrie jumped down from the bunk and opened the door. She took a step back. It was Belinda. The gorgeous, statuesque, tawny-haired woman stood in the corridor with her hands on her hips and her lips pressed together in a slight grimace. “Aren’t you going to invite me in, then?”

  Stepping aside, Carrie mind whirred as to why the half-dandrobian was there. Had she come to gloat some more? Dave appeared. “Hi, Belinda.”

  “Hello. It’s Dave, if I remember rightly?” He nodded. “Do you mind if I sit down?”

  “Sure,” said Dave, “but there’s only...” He indicated the lower bunk. Belinda lowered her well-shaped bottom to the bed. An awkward pause stretched out, during which Carrie and Dave exchanged glances.

  “I’m sorry,” said Belinda, flushing and looking down. “I’m not used to doing this.”

  “Look,” said Carrie, heatedly, “if you want an apology or something...” Dave placed a hand on her arm.

  “No, that isn’t it.” Belinda looked up into Carrie’s eyes. “In fact...” she let out a heavy breath, “in fact...I’m the one who should apologise.”

  “You should...what?” Carrie’s eyes grew wide.

  Belinda sighed again, and her shoulders lifted and fell. “I’ve been a bit of an arse, haven’t I?” Carrie was about to answer, then realised the question was rhetorical. “I think I need to explain some things,” Belinda continued. “You see, I used to be one of the top Liaison Officers. That’s why Gavin called me in to take over from you on Oootoon. After five years’ service, my record was spotless. I suppose I’d become too confident, and complacent. I thought I was the bee’s knees, to be honest.” She paused, and broke eye contact with Carrie. “Frankly, you made me look like a fool.” She gave a little shake of her head. “But, well, I deserved it. You were right and I was wrong. Though that was very hard for me to accept at the time. In fact, I didn’t accept it. And from then until now, I’ve been telling myself that it was all just a fluke.

  “After what happened today, I thought, that confirms it. I couldn’t wait to get back here and tell everyone what an idiot you were. And I did...” she smiled wryly, “...with great relish, enjoying every word. But I expected you to try to defend yourself. Go on, bluster yourself out of that, I thought to myself. I was surprised when you didn’t. You knew you’d messed up, and you didn’t try to justify it. You just walked out. And instead of feeling vindicated, I just felt sort of hollow.

  “You see, when I was in your position, I couldn’t admit it to myself. But you did. You were better than me, again. So...” She stood and held out her hand. “Let’s put an end to this silly feud between us, and let bygones be bygones, okay?”

  Her mouth slightly agape, Carrie took the offered hand, and the two women shook. Without another word, Belinda left.

  “Did that just happen?” Carrie asked as the door closed.

  “Either that or we’re both in the same dream.”

  Carrie sat down with a bump. “And that was Belinda, right?”

  “It certainly looked like Belinda, but the words didn’t seem to match the personality.”

  Carrie laughed, then stopped. “Oh, I get it.”

  “What?”

  “We’re forgetting she’s half-dandrobian.”

  “You mean you think she’s up to something?”

  “Exactly. I wonder what it is?”

  Dave shrugged. “Who knows? I’m going to dinner. It’ll be over soon. Maybe I’ll talk to Belinda and try to find out what her game is. If there’s anything edible I’ll bring you some back.”

  “Thanks.”

  After her friend left, Carrie went to take a shower. She marvelled at how clean Dave kept it, apparently effortlessly. She wondered if she should invite him to move in. He obviously loved cleaning, and she hated it, so they were the perfect match. He could bring his boyfriends over whenever he liked, she wouldn’t mind. As she turned the shower off, she heard an announcement being broadcast. She wrapped a towel around herself and went out into the cabin to hear it better. It was Errruorerrrrrhch speaking.

  “I repeat. A weapon is missing from the target practice room. It is presumed stolen. Remain exactly where you are while the ship is searched. Anyone moving from their current location will be immediately detained.”

  Chapter Seventeen – The Great Escape

  Carrie’s knees turned to water. It must be the weapon Dave had taken. The weapon that was under his bed that very minute. She lifted the mattress. There it was. He still hadn’t put it somewhere else like she’d told him to. She let out a gasp of frustration as she tried to figure out what to do. Spinning on her heel, she scanned the cabin. Was there somewhere she could hide it? The weapon was very small. Surely there must be somewhere they wouldn’t think of looking?

  But there didn’t seem to be anywhere that wasn’t an obvious hiding place. The beds, bags and lockers would be searched immediately. She felt behind the mirror-communication screen, but there were no gaps. It was fixed firmly to the wall. The shower room? Stepping inside, she searched the room with her eyes. Maybe she could put the weapon down the drain, or flush it down the toilet? She dropped it into the bowl, but it lay stubbornly at the bottom after flushing, and the drain in the shower was not removable. Everything else, the walls, ceiling and floor, were one piece of smooth ceramic.

  Carrie’s heart raced. How long did she have before they came to search? And what was Dave doing, stuck in the canteen? What was he thinking? She hoped he hadn’t confessed already, imagining the game was up. He didn’t deserve to be punished for taking the weapon. They wouldn’t understand he didn’t intend any harm; that he would have returned it if he’d had the chance. She wrung her hands. She had to save her friend, she just had to.

  Then the answer came. She slowly sat down on Dave’s bunk. Of course. If they came to the cabin and found her with the weapon, they would assume she’d taken it.
And she wouldn’t correct them. She was going to fail the training anyway, so she might as well do something good and save Dave’s skin. He was a better Officer than her. The brain scan had said so, and everything she’d done that week had proved it.

  Now that she’d made the decision, she felt oddly calm, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. All week she’d been stressing about passing the training. Now it was all over and out of her hands, she didn’t have anything to worry about any more. Or did she? She gripped the weapon. She was assuming she would just be kicked off the course, but maybe there was a worse punishment in store for her. What happened to thieves under transgalactic law? Would she go to prison? Carrie swallowed. She remained determined to take the blame for the theft, but she wondered if there was some way to soften the blow about to fall, or someone who could help her? Someone who might help a friend?

  A slow smile formed on her face. She would have disobey the order to stay where she was, but now that she was going to take the rap anyway, what did she have to lose?

  ***

  Carrie steeled herself as the cabin door opened. She peeped inside, but, apart from one occupant, the room was empty.

  “Carrie, what are you doing here?” asked Gavin. “You must return to your room at once. We cannot move about the ship. There has been a...ah. I see.”

  Carrie’s palm was open, and in it rested the small green weapon. She stepped into the room and looked around. “Where are your children?”

  “They are moulting at the moment. Carrie—”

  “Where?”

  “Where what?”

  “Where are they moulting?” She wondered if a hundred larger versions of Gavin’s offspring were about to pile out of the shower room. Except he didn’t seem to have a shower room. Or a bed. All there was in the room apart from Gavin and a communication screen was a large hole in the floor.

  “My children are in a room in a secluded area of the ship where they will not be disturbed. Carrie, I am most disappointed in you. I would never have believed you capable of stealing.”