Governess in Disguise: Historical Regency Romance

by Lisa Campell

  “Emilia.”

  “Thomas.”

  She didn’t look surprised that he was there at her door. If anything, she looked like she had been expecting him. Thomas glanced over his shoulder, almost expecting to see someone watching them.

  “We need to talk.”

  “I know we do.” Emilia grabbed his hand. “But not just yet.”

  “Emilia…”

  Thomas broke off abruptly as Emilia tugged him into her room. The door closed behind him and Thomas found himself being pushed against it, Emilia pressing up against him as she kissed him, tugging his head down hard. She was practically rubbing her body against his, and Thomas found his lust flaring back to life. His cock had certainly woken up, and Thomas groaned as Emilia pressed her hips to his. His hands gripped her waist and he set her back carefully.

  “If this is to get me distracted from what we have to talk about…” he began, but Emilia pressed her fingers to his lips.

  “No, it’s not that. I just…” She bit her lip, her hand falling away from his mouth. “I don’t want to talk yet.”

  She stepped back, Thomas letting her go. He could do nothing but watch her as Emilia undid the belt of her robe, dropping the garment to the floor. Then his heart nearly stopped as she gathered her nightgown and drew it up over her head, revealing every part of her naked body. Thomas took in the sight with a growing hunger. This wasn’t what he had come here for, but he would certainly take what she was offering. Just the mere sight of her was enough for Thomas to forget everything he had planned to discuss.

  Emilia stepped back, drawing her long hair over one shoulder, her hand trailing over her breast and down her belly.

  “I just want to be held tonight. To feel loved. Even if it’s just for a short time.” She glanced down at the floor. “Can we do that?”

  How could he deny her something like this? Thomas crossed the room, grabbing at her.

  “I can do that.”

  She came to him eagerly, her kiss enflaming him more. Her hands were everywhere, practically ripping away at the buttons of his waistcoat and shirt. Thomas helped her, reluctant to pull away as he shrugged out of his jacket and threw it aside. His cravat went the same way as Emilia finally finished undoing the buttons of his waistcoat and began to open his shirt. She gently racked her nails down his bare chest, which had Thomas groaning. The slight scrape of pain was more arousing than he expected.

  Emilia started pressing kisses down his chest, lowering herself to her knees.

  “Emilia…”

  “Don’t talk.” Emilia looked up at him as she reached for the buttons on his britches. “Just let me do this.”

  Thomas couldn’t look away as Emilia undid the rest of his buttons and opened his britches. He was so hard it was painful. He almost forgot how to breathe again as Emilia tugged his britches down, his drawers going with them, so his cock sprang free. Then all thoughts went out of his head as Emilia closed her hand around his cock.

  He groaned when she licked the tip of his cock, her hand sliding over the hard shaft. Oh, God, she looked so beautiful like that. Thomas’ blood pounded in his head as she started to lick him again, her lips closing over him. Thomas swayed, his knees almost buckling. Three days and she could have him go from cold to very hot just by snapping her fingers.

  “No.”

  Grabbing her, Thomas hauled her to her feet and spun her around. Emilia started to protest, but Thomas pressed a hard kiss to her mouth, cupping her breasts as he nudged her feet apart. Emilia’s protests turned into moans as he squeezed her breasts before urging her over, pressing her hands on the bed.

  “Thomas, I…”

  “I know what you wanted, but I want to be inside you when I find what I want.” Thomas pressed kisses over her back. “And I want you to be there as well.”

  “Thomas…”

  Thomas found himself smiling as he pressed his cock inside her tight body, Emilia breaking off in a gasp. Her back arched, taking him in.

  “I thought you said no talking.”

  “I can’t help it.” Emilia pushed back, but Thomas didn’t move. “Thomas, please…”

  “I won’t talk if you don’t.” Thomas cupped her hip. “We’ll do that later. Much later.”

  This wasn’t what he had planned on, but Emilia had turned the tables. Now he was pounding into her as she propped herself up on the bed, his britches around his knees. This position seemed to make her body tighten around him even more, which had Thomas growling. His hands tightened their grip as he changed the angle slightly, which made his head spin. Leaning over, he clamped a hand over Emilia’s breast, biting gently on her neck. Emilia was panting, her whole body shaking. Already she was so close. Thomas loved how responsive she was.

  He took her hand, lifting it off the bed.

  “Touch yourself,” he growled in her ear. “I want you to make yourself let go.”

  “I…”

  “Do it.”

  Emilia obeyed, her hand shifting underneath her. Moments later, her moans were so loud and climbing in pitch that Thomas hoped they didn’t wake up Anna in the room next door. His hips slapped against her backside, Emilia’s body tightening around him as the shakes increased. She had now dropped onto her elbow, her head bowed as she panted loudly. Thomas gripped her hips and picked up the pace. His orgasm was coming upon him very fast, and he could feel Emilia’s pleasure building just as quickly. She jerked and rolled her hips, her body practically clamping down on his cock.

  Thomas let his orgasm take over, releasing himself with a snarl as he pressed his cock in as deep as he could get. Emilia joined him a moment later, her shrieks so loud that Thomas was certain the whole house would have heard them. They collapsed onto the bed, Thomas wrapping his arms around his woman’s waist as he rested her forehead against her back. Just the mere touch from her and he wanted to do things that were certainly not proper. After the few tastes he had been permitted, he was addicted. There was no going back from this.

  He would get her to come around to the idea of loving him. He would make her realize that it could work. And Thomas would make her his permanently. Nobody else would do.

  It was just a case of making Emilia see it. Thomas had time. He could do it.

  Providing she didn’t walk out of his life either.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  He stayed the night. When he turned up at her door, Emilia hadn’t planned on asking him to stay. She hadn’t expected him to turn up at all. But the sight of him standing there outside her bedroom door and Emilia couldn’t help herself. If this was going to be the last time she got to be in his arms, she was going to take it.

  Somehow, the two of them got some sleep, Thomas rolling away after holding her for some time. It was like he was reluctant to let go, but he didn’t fully slip into sleep until he had rolled over. Emilia was fine with that; she liked to be cuddled, but she couldn’t sleep like that when her neck was at the wrong angle and her hair was being stroked. She needed her own space.

  Maybe that was why women had their own room once they were married. It was so their husbands didn’t keep pawing them. But Emilia would rather share a bed with her husband. It felt more intimate, and you could still sleep in an intimate manner without needing to touch each other.

  If she ever married. She really was well and truly ruined. And it was her fault.

  Emilia told herself many times that morning as she and Anna were out riding that she should stop thinking about marriage. But she couldn’t help it. Lady Andrews had put that into her head and now Emilia was thinking about the possibility of becoming Mrs. Thomas Andrews. She shouldn’t even be contemplating that. Once Thomas found out who she was and why she was really at his home, he would throw her out so quickly Emilia would still be trying to keep up afterwards. Thinking about marriage to a man who would never marry her after her confession was futile.

  And it was making her feel even worse. Emilia didn’t want to go through that again.

  Thomas was dres
sing when Emilia stirred, and Emilia had taken a moment to admire his body as he dressed. She felt privileged to have seen such a magnificent man naked, just for her. She loved to run her hands over his body, feel the muscles under her touch. And from the hungry look Thomas had given her before planting a firm kiss on her mouth before leaving, he liked what he saw as well. Not that Emilia was hiding her nakedness from him for now. It was probably the last time he was going to see her like this.

  At least the morning horseback ride was uneventful. Anna was certainly in much better health, almost back to her old self. The little girl was concerned, however, and kept asking Emilia what her grandmother had wanted the day before. But Emilia kept deflecting her questions; the answers were certainly not for Anna’s ears. She wasn’t about to do that to the child.

  Only a few more hours, and Emilia would have to be revealed as a liar. Lady Andrews wouldn’t give her a reprieve; she would go to her son. By four in the afternoon, Emilia would be out of there. She just had to figure out how to tell him.

  When she got back from the morning ride, Emilia had gone over how she was going to approach the subject in her head. She would ask to speak to Thomas privately, although maybe have Jenkins as a witness. Then she would tell him everything. Not give him any opportunity to talk, just say her piece and walk out. Her belongings would be packed, ready to go, and Emilia would have the carriage waiting.

  Or maybe she could write a letter and leave it with Jenkins so Thomas could read it once she was gone. She didn’t think she could face him when she revealed everything.

  You were going to do that when you found proof that he was a killer. What’s different now?

  Telling the man I love, that I wasn’t the person he thought I was changes everything.

  Maybe the letter was the best way to go about it. Emilia could get everything out with a letter, and she wouldn’t have Thomas interjecting and refusing to let her talk. Then she could slip away without having Thomas looking at her with the hatred she knew would be there.

  A cowardly way to do it, but it was better than nothing.

  So, her mind made up, Emilia had her breakfast - somehow managing to get everything down without it coming back up - and went with Anna to the schoolroom. While Anna worked away at her schoolwork, Emilia only needing to glance over her shoulder every now and then while she wrote out the facts about the Kings and Queens of England before the empire united, Emilia sat at her desk and wrote out her confession letter. There was no other word to describe what she wrote other than confession. She poured out everything onto the pages, leaving nothing out. Emilia knew Thomas would want answers to a lot of questions, and she had to be sure everything was there.

  She hesitated about mentioning she was in love with him, but Emilia couldn’t hide from that. It was the whole reason she had ended up changing her opinion on him. Any other excuse wouldn’t do; Thomas certainly wouldn’t believe her if she said she was convinced by her loyal household and the way he was. That did help, but it wasn’t the true reason.

  Emilia knew she was going to break the man’s heart, but there was no other choice. Her heart had broken the more she wrote.

  Now her letter was about five pages long. Her hand was aching from all the writing, and her fingers seemed to be stuck in the same position. But it was done. Emilia folded the letter and put Thomas’ name on the front. Then she glanced at Anna, who was still working on her task. She was such a clever, diligent little girl. Sweet and spritely all in one go.

  She was going to miss Anna. And there was another person’s heart about to be broken, but Emilia couldn’t do anything about it. Taking a deep breath, Emilia rose to her feet.

  “I’m just taking something to your father, Anna. Keep doing your work.”

  “Yes, Emilia.”

  Anna barely looked up as Emilia left the schoolroom, closing the door behind her. Her chest tightened as she hurried into her room, flinging open her trunk and packing everything at speed. It wasn’t the best packing she had ever done, but it was better than nothing. Emilia would sort it all out when she got back home.

  Home. It didn’t feel like home anymore. Now her father was gone, the place was like an empty shell. Uncle Christian remained, but Emilia couldn’t bring herself to consider it home with him there. Their relationship was contentious, at best. They could live together all right if there was a buffer - which had been her father - but with no buffer, it wouldn’t be harmonious. There would be a lot of arguing. Uncle Christian would try to exert his authority over her, which Emilia found ludicrous seeing as he was only a few years older than her. It was like being ordered about by her brother rather than an uncle.

  Thomas’ house was feeling more like a home, and that just made it even worse.

  Maybe she shouldn’t go home. Maybe she could go to Charlotte’s home again. Stay there until she could figure out what to do. Charlotte wouldn’t mind. And Emilia needed a friend right now. Someone who wouldn’t judge her. Uncle Christian was going to be understandably furious with what she had done. Emilia wouldn’t be surprised if he put her under lock and key once she returned to the family house.

  Think about that later. Get yourself packed and put the letter in his study. Then go.

  In his study. It would be locked. Emilia knew that Thomas was very religious about keeping his study locked when he wasn’t in there. Perhaps she could leave it with Jenkins, if that was the case. She trusted the valet enough not to look at the contents before his master did.

  At least getting out of the house without Thomas noticing would be easier than she anticipated. Thomas had been noticeably absent from breakfast that morning. Jenkins had said that Thomas was off on an errand, that he had to see someone with great urgency. Emilia was relieved that he wasn’t there because it would mean a very painful farewell. Then again, not having him there made it feel like things were left unfinished.

  Best if it’s left that way. You know that’s the right thing to do.

  Finishing off her packing, Emilia locked up her trunk and put on her bonnet and coat. Then she headed downstairs. There was no one around, which she found surprising. The place had servants bustling everywhere, going about their business but there was always someone around. However, nobody was about as Emilia made her way to Thomas’ study. She could hope that the door was, by some luck, unlocked. Then she could leave the letter on his desk. If not, her two choices would be to push it under the door or give it to Jenkins.

  Then she would leave as quickly as she could. Hopefully with very few questions asked.

  Emilia reached the study and braced herself to find the door locked. But, to her surprise, it was unlocked. She almost fell into the room when she leaned on the door. Somehow, Thomas had managed to forget to turn the key and keep his sacred area safe.

  At least it helped her.

  Emilia approached the desk and laid the letter on the blotter. Thomas would see it as soon as he sat down. There would be no ignoring it.

  Then she saw the watch on the blotter, right next to the inkwell. It looked very familiar. As far as Emilia was aware, Thomas didn’t own a watch like this. Was this an old family heirloom that he kept around for sentimental reasons? Emilia couldn’t think when Thomas had even handled a gold watch like that.

  It looked much like the one her father had when he was alive.

  Unable to stop her curiosity, Emilia picked up the watch, turning it over in her hands. She brushed her fingers over the ornate design on the front. Then she turned it to look at the back. It had initials engraved into the back. NRH.

  Nicholas Richard Hill. Her great-grandfather’s name. The watch that was gifted to her father as part of his inheritance when the old man died.

  Emilia’s heart stopped. What was Thomas doing with her father’s watch?

  Oh, God. He didn’t…

  Emilia opened the watch. On one side was the ticking hands. On the other was a small portrait. One that her mother had gotten painted when she was courting Jonathan Hill. It was a small
gift for him, and Jonathan had never let it go. He treasured it, right up until he died.

  Until he died…

  Emilia almost dropped the watch. There was blood on the portrait. And on the glass face of the watch. That hadn’t been there before. There was something smudged in it. It looked like the print of a finger.

  Oh, God.

  Emilia felt sick. Her gut had been right all along. Thomas was the one who killed her father. And now she could prove it.

  Thomas had felt the desperation during the night. When he held Emilia, when he made love to her, he was sure that something else was going on. She took charge after the first time, wringing him out until Thomas was exhausted but wanting more. It was as if she expected this to be the last time they were in bed together.