Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori

  At this point, the only option is to explain everything and assume the dogeza position.

  Grabbing the book and blowing past the goddess’s attempts to stop me, I hold the book under my arm and kick the door open.

  “Is Syr here?”

  “Ohh, look who’s here! Morning to ya, meow!”

  One of the catgirl waitresses at The Benevolent Mistress responds to me while sweeping the street outside the bar.

  If I remember right, her name is Chloe. She looks at me with a giddy smile, her tail swishing back and forth behind her.

  “What’s this, what’s this? No morning greeting and calling on Syr at this early hour, meow? What are you planning to—”

  “Please call Syr!”

  “Wha—?! Okay, okay, meow!”

  She finally understands my sharp words and jumps in surprise. Maybe she can tell I’m not my usual self. She runs into the building so fast she almost slips a few times. The bell on the front door rings as she flies inside.

  A few moments later, Chloe sticks her face out from behind the front door and motions for me to come inside.

  I step inside the café and bar; they’re still getting ready for the day.

  “Good morning, Bell. Is something the matter?”

  “Syr!!”

  Tap tap tap tap. I can hear her shoes on the floor as she comes running from the kitchen. She must have come in a hurry. She’s still carrying a wooden tray in her arms.

  Her blue-gray hair is tied back with a triangular bandanna. I start to tell her the gist of everything that had happened.

  At first she wears a polite but confused smile, but her eyes grow larger and larger as I talk. The color of her face changes at some point…When I finish speaking, just like she had done at some point before, she breaks off eye contact.

  “…Well, that’s a very sticky situation you’re in, Bell.”

  “Hold on there, Syr! How come you’re acting like you’re not involved?!”

  I had to say something about her strange tone. What is she planning to use me as, some kind of sacrificial lamb?

  She lifts the tray up to her mouth, hiding the lower half of her face. She looks at me with upturned eyes.

  “So…I can’t?”

  “As cute as you look right now, no! Absolutely not!”

  I strike down her request despite those imploring eyes, my own face a flaming cherry on my shoulders.

  This woman really does seem like a witch!

  “You’re hittin’ a nerve, boy! Burstin’ into other people’s shops this early in the mornin’.”

  The bar’s owner, Mama Mia, must have heard our squabble and followed the noise all the way here. Despite being a dwarf, her frame is absolutely imposing. My body freezes as she walks up to me and plucks the book out of my unusually stiff hands, before glancing over the book herself.

  “That’s a grimoire, all right…But what’s done is done. Boy, pay it no mind, ya hear?”

  “Huh?? B-b-but…”

  “The dimwit who left it here is at fault. Like saying, ‘Here, please read this.’ Boy, if ya hadn’t read it, some other adventurer woulda said the grimoire was his and taken it anyway. That’s just how it is.”

  She’s rather persuasive. I close my still-open mouth as she lets out a long breath through her nose.

  “He was prepared to lose it the moment he let it outta his sight. Think about it, boy: if ya lost a wallet full of cash, you’d come back to get it, wouldn’t ya?”

  “Well…”

  “It’s the same thing. Useless to worry about it, boy. Be happy ya got somethin’ outta it and let it go.”

  Mia said her piece and leaves it at that.

  I look back over to Syr. She has a small grimace on her face, tilting her head to the side.

  This still leaves something to be desired, and I get a bad aftertaste from it. My face puckers up like I’ve drunk bitter medicine…

  Mia glances at me through the side of one of her big eyes. “Real men don’t brood over nothin’!” she says.

  “Yes, ma’am!” Her voice is like a slap on the wrist. My whole body shoots to attention in response.

  As I watch the dwarfess make heavy strides toward the back of the bar, I still can’t help but wonder if it’s really okay to just ignore what happened.

  I rub the sides of my head, trying to untangle my thoughts.

  “…Well, sorry to disturb you. I’ll be going now.”

  I stand there in silence for a moment before turning on my heel. At the same time, a very sneaky Chloe brings a basket to Syr. She takes the basket and…nervously sticks it out in front of me.

  “Would you be willing to take this again today?”

  “…T-thanks.”

  I stutter as I take the basket from the outstretched hands of the shyly smiling Syr.

  I always feel a little embarrassed when she gives me lunch, but Syr always looks very happy when I take it. Honestly, her smile looks more cheerful than usual…Not that it isn’t always cheerful…I just can’t put it into words.

  My skin gets even redder as I express my gratitude one more time before finally making my exit from The Benevolent Mistress.

  I set down the ex-grimoire when I get home and equip my armor to get ready for a day in the Dungeon.

  I give the goddess a basic explanation of what happened at the bar before heading out. A very calm voice says, “Have a nice day” as I open the door to go outside.

  Now that I think about it, didn’t I use my last potion…?

  I’m jogging down West Main when I suddenly remember my item situation. I used my last potion three days ago. The item holster on my left leg is completely empty.

  They’ve helped me out before…Maybe I should swing by their shop first?

  I decide to stop by a store I haven’t been to in a while on my way to the Dungeon.

  The shop is located off of West Main, but I have to go through a few backstreets to get there.

  Basically, it’s a house that was built in a dark, damp place. But there’s a sign with the Miach Familia’s emblem, a completely healthy human body, above the front door.

  “Ex-cuse me, good morn-ing…”

  I open the wooden double doors a crack and peek inside. My eyes look up and down the rows of shelves, trying to find an animal-person girl in the dim shop. She hears my voice and turns her half-closed eyes my way.

  “Morning, Bell. Long time, no see…”

  With her slow voice and drowsy-looking eyes, you’d think she’d just woken up, but that’s just how she is. The girl’s taste in clothing is also a little strange. Her tail is sticking through her skirt, and her left sleeve comes down to her elbow, but her right sleeve goes to her wrist. She has a glove on her right hand only. She looks to be about the same age as Eina, maybe a little younger. She stops what she’s doing and walks to the back of the shop and behind a counter.

  “Sorry to come in this early. Are you busy?”

  “No worries. No one will come in after you leave anyway, Bell…So, what’re you going to buy today?”

  She reaches under the counter and pulls up a closed case before setting it on the counter between us.

  The wide case holds many tubes filled with various colorful liquids lined up in a row.

  “By the way, is Lord Miach around? I would like to speak with him if it’s all right.”

  “Lord Miach is on a personal errand and won’t be back until tonight. I’m alone today…”

  My eyes were scanning the tubes when I asked her, and that was her answer.

  The shop is run by Miach and belongs to Miach Familia; it also doubles as the Familia’s home. The girl I’m talking to is Nahza, Miach Familia’s only member.

  She pulls out a very expensive-looking potion from the case and holds it out to me.

  “Say, Bell, what do you think? Isn’t it about time to try a high potion…?”

  “Uh, n-no, it’s still too soon for me.”

  I dodge her proposal with a nervous smile. T
he high potion she’s holding is worth tens of thousands of vals. This kind of conversation is almost a daily thing for us because we both belong to dirt-poor Familias. If there is a way to make or save a few vals, we’ll find it.

  That being said, I’m usually on the losing side when trying to barter with Nahza…

  “Bell, you haven’t paid us a visit in a long time…”

  “…?!”

  “Lord Miach was very lonely. His stomach was growling…’cause he was starving.”

  Ever since I hired Lilly, I haven’t been to this shop. She’ll prepare any item I ask for, so I haven’t needed to go anywhere else to buy potions. Nahza’s words stab at my conscience; I’m breaking out in a cold sweat.

  This is bad! At this rate I’ll end up buying something I don’t need…

  “Ah! I just remembered! Something strange happened to me in the Dungeon yesterday.”

  Desperate to change the topic, I bring up how I passed out in the Dungeon after using magic. Nahza listens to my story before letting out an affirmative “Ah!”

  “That’s Mind Down. It happens all the time to adventurers who’ve just learned magic but get carried away…”

  “Mind Down…?”

  “Magic requires mental energy to work. If you use too much, you go out like a light.

  “So that’s why…” Nahza continues as she rustles through a box under the counter, “…you need a mind-restoring potion to avoid that. This one was just brewed the other day…”

  “Uh, but…that potion is really expensive…”

  “No worries. I’ll give you a discount, being a regular and all…Eight thousand and seven hundred vals.”

  I step back for a moment to think it over.

  “All right…”

  The dog ears on top of Nahza’s head twitch happily when she hears my response, and she quickly bends over to pick up two more tubes.

  “If you’re willing to buy this for eighty-seven-hundred vals, I’ll throw in these two potions for an even nine thousand…Sound good?”

  Her suggestion makes my eyes go wide and my head spin. Is that really a good deal?

  Miach Familia’s cheapest potions are 500 vals apiece. Considering that, Nahza’s offer is really good. But spending 9,000 vals in one go…that’s almost painful. Then again, this item will let me use more magic, so it’s very tempting.

  The first rule of going on adventures is to prepare for anything and everything.

  “No one knows what will happen in the Dungeon. It’d be a good idea to be thorough…”

  With those words she’s just sealed the deal.

  I may be a bit of a coward, but if I have to choose between money and the safety of my party, I’ll choose the latter.

  “Okay. I’ll accept your offer.”

  “Thanks, Bell. I love you…”

  I feel a fire burning in my cheeks at her sudden words. Finishing the transaction, I take the items from the lazily smiling Nahza with her half-lidded eyes, and immediately feel the need to get the heck out of here.

  Nahza waves good-bye as I make a break for the wooden doors and leave the shop.

  “You’re too easy, Bell…”

  …I thought I heard something before the doors closed behind me, but no—it’s just my imagination. My imagination, I tell you!

  I leave the item shop and go down West Main—a street that I’ve traveled many times in the past few hours—toward the Dungeon.

  A ton of fully equipped adventurers have already gathered in large, circular Central Park under a bright and clear blue sky.

  Wonder if she’s here yet…

  I look around, hoping to find Lilly in the park. It’s our meeting point, but I can’t find a dog girl that looks like her.

  Just as I was thinking this isn’t like her, I happen to catch a glimpse of something strange on my way toward Babel Tower.

  It’s in a part of Central Park, under the shade of a tree with large leaves. Lilly is standing with three adventurers, sunlight dancing on their faces as the leaves sway in a soft breeze. It looks very comfortable.

  However, the three large men are surrounding Lilly. They have their chests puffed out, looking down on her and saying something while Lilly frantically shakes her head from side to side. No one looks all that happy.

  —Could they be members of Soma Familia?

  As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I immediately go in their direction.

  “…enough…hand…over!”

  “Already…gone…Really…!!”

  It sounds like they’re having a heated argument.

  I hide behind a tree in their blind spot and prepare to jump in at a moment’s notice.

  “Hey!”

  “!”

  But then, out of the blue—

  Someone grabs my shoulder as if they’re trying to get in my way. I spin out of it in a surprised reflex and turn to face the grabber.

  It’s a male adventurer. A human with black hair, excellent physique, and a longsword strapped to his back.

  …Wait a second, isn’t he…?

  “Heh, yer that kid from before…Don’t matter, got a question for ya: Ya working with that runt over there?”

  That voice, that tone…No doubt about it. He’s the man I met in the alleyway a while ago.

  “Oi! Haven’t got all day! Did ya hire that supporter or not?”

  “…That girl is not the prum you were chasing in the alley that day.”

  I can tell he’s pissed off just by looking at his eyes, but I still give him that answer. Part of it might just have been a reflex.

  It’s hard to tell because she’s wearing an oversized robe and has a deep hood over her face, but Lilly isn’t a prum. She’s a Chienthrope, a dog person.

  I just want to say, “Don’t get the wrong idea…” The man curves his lips into a sneer.

  “Moron…is what I wanna call ya, but what ya think is yer own business. Ya wanna play the fool, be my guest.”

  Sounds like he’s giving me an angry lecture, but there’s something in the tone of his voice that bothers me.

  It’s like he’s saying I’m being tricked.

  But I’m not just going to take him at his word…

  I squint my eyes in suspicion, and the man makes a jeering smile back at me.

  “But that don’t matter; yer gonna help me…We’re gonna snatch her.”

  “Wha…”

  “Not askin’ ya to do it for free. I’ll pay ya a bit up front and a share of what we get out of the runt.”

  This guy sounds serious. I’m so shocked by his sudden proposal that words leave me.

  “All ya have to do is go into the Dungeon like usual. After that, find an excuse to leave her alone and I’ll do the rest. Piece of cake, ain’t it?”

  The man’s mouth opens wide as he laughs with all his might.

  I don’t like that laugh at all. It reeks of a malice I’ve never heard before.

  Even as a chill of nervousness sweeps through my body, I clench my fist.

  “Why are you saying things like that…?”

  “Huh? What’s with the backtalk, kid? This is where ya nod ‘yes’ like a good boy. Think of all the money yer gonna get from this. Hell of a sweet deal.

  “Ha-ha!” The man lets out another round of ridiculing laughter. “Use yer brain, boy! That’s just a supporter—the runt carries the bags! Yer no worse off if that useless piece of trash were gone, now are ya? Wring her dry while ya can and ditch the rest.”

  I’m way past my boiling point.

  This is different from the back alley. I don’t have room to be scared—a fierce rage is taking control of my body.

  “Not a chance in hell…!”

  “Friggin’ brat…!”

  The man’s face contorts into a gruesome visage. My forehead tightens as power flows into all of my muscles.

  A fierce energy surrounds us. The leaves on the branch above us shake, almost as if in fear of what’s going on below.

  We stare each other d
own for a minute or two until he turns on his heal with a loud “Tsk” and walks away.

  I watch him go, the mask of fury still on my face.

  “…Mr. Bell?”

  “!”

  A voice from behind me.

  I turn around, almost as if drawn in by it, to find a dumbfounded Lilly standing there, looking up at me.

  The flames of rage that had been burning inside me cool. I return to my normal self.

  “L-Lilly? How long have you been there?”

  “Lilly just got here…What were you talking about with that honorable adventurer?”

  “Ahem…Nothing much, he was just trying to pick a fight…”

  I manage to come up with something. I can’t exactly tell the person in front of me that he was trying to set up a trap for her.

  Lilly can tell I’m not calm. She stares at me with her mouth closed. Her expression seems a little dark.

  “Oh! You seemed to be tangled up in something a minute ago. Is everything okay, Lilly?”

  “So you saw that…Please don’t worry. As you can see, Lilly is fine.”

  She holds out her arms and does a small twirl before looking up at me with a big smile.

  No bruises or tears on her robe. It looks like nothing happened. That’s a relief.

  “Lilly, who were those—”

  “Just like what happened to Mr. Bell, they were picking a fight with Lilly. Maybe Mr. Bell and Lilly look weak?”

  She jumped in before I could finish.

  Smiling her usual bright smile and telling more jokes, she didn’t let me get another word in. I don’t think she wants to talk about what really happened.

  “All right, let’s go, Mr. Bell! Since Lilly hasn’t worked in two days, Lilly’s counting on your efforts today, Mr. Bell!”

  She passes right by my side, heading toward Babel Tower. Her bangs sticking out of her hood shake as she turns back around for a second. I catch a glimpse of her chestnut-colored eyes—they’re perfectly normal. It’s like nothing happened at all.

  I decide to let it go and not say anything else. I close my mouth and follow her.

  I can’t tell what her face looks like now because she’s in front of me. But I think about it as we weave through the crowded and noisy street on our way to the Dungeon.

  “…Looks like the time is right.”