Jaded: The First Cut is the Deepest

by Shawn C. Thompson

  Twenty minutes into our car ride with Tegan, we approached what the GPS said was Shauntae’s home. Surprisingly, it was anything but the run down slum I expected her to slither from.

  “Okay Shauntae, you better have you a two story!” Myla joked as T and I opened our doors. “For someone with ratchet ways, she certainly doesn’t live like it.”

  “I’ll give her that.” I mumbled, looking at her house. “Myla please stay in the car with Junior, if anything pops off, I’ll let you know.”

  Myla groaned

  “Alright…but I’d love to repay her for putting me through that accident.”

  “We don’t know that for sure.” Tegan interjected, getting a head start toward the front door. “Let’s at least give her a chance to explain.”

  I secured Junior in the seat, kissed him, and followed T.

  After a few knocks at the door, we were greeted with the face of an older woman.

  “Hello? May I help you?”

  Her looks resembled Shauntae, which led me to believe it was her mother. The five-two diminutive woman wore a dark blue blouse, white pants and an attitude on her face.

  “Yes, we are looking for a Shauntae Morris.”

  “She is here but you can speak to me, Gloria Morris, instead.”

  “It’s very important we speak to her.” I replied.

  The guarded posture Shauntae’s mother assumed was intimidating to say the least. It was more than obvious that our company was not welcome.

  “I need to know who I’m speaking with first don’t you think?” She snapped.

  I clutched onto the strap of my purse to keep from disrespecting an elder.

  “I’m Tegan Whitmore and this is Ivory Carter. We are here to speak with...”

  “I understand who you came to speak with but why are you here? My daughter is pregnant and stressed enough as it is. We don’t need any more bullshit.”

  I stepped in front of Tegan to make my point.

  “We are here to speak with your daughter, if she chooses to let you know what that’s about then that’s on her. Otherwise, this is a private matter.”

  “Not in my house it’s not.” Gloria roared.

  It was apparent we weren’t getting anywhere with this woman so I turned to leave.

  “T, it’s clear she’s not willing to help. Let’s go.”

  “Mama who’s at the door? Oh hell no. What the fuck do you want?”

  Shauntae sauntered out of a room and joined her mother at the front of the door. It took everything in me not to respond with ugliness.

  “What I want is a chance to talk with you woman to woman.”

  “Oh now you’d like to talk after everything you had to say at the hospital.” She clicked her tongue and rubbed her belly. “There’s nothing left for us to discuss, the baby is coming and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  I put myself out on a limb coming up here to see Shauntae so I needed to do everything I could to make sure it wasn’t a wasted one.

  “How do you know Delano Gathers?”

  Her face froze at the mention of his name.

  “How do you know that I know Delano Gathers?”

  “Let me in and we can discuss that.” I compromised.

  Shauntae thought about it for a second, took a deep breath and opened her home to us.

  We walked in and took a seat in the living room, keeping an eye out just in case anything happened. The only thing separating us from one another was the mahogany coffee table and mementos placed on it.

  “Would you like some coffee or something?” She offered much to my surprise. T and I declined simply based on the fact that we didn’t completely trust her.

  I surveyed the room to learn that unlike my original assumptions, her family was pretty put-together and well-off. It made me wonder why she was pressed for money in the first place.

  “Mom, you mind leaving us to talk?” Shauntae suggested, after waiting for her mother to make an exit on her own accord.

  Her mother kicked her shoes off.

  “I’m staying right here. You are still my child and this has just as much to do with me as it does you.”

  It didn’t take long to realize that she was the overbearing type, especially since Shauntae had to be no younger than twenty-four.

  Shauntae flared her nostrils and ran her tongue across her teeth.

  “Fine mother but don’t be surprised by what you hear.”

  “I’ve been on this earth for almost sixty years, ain’t nothing you can say in this room that would surprise me.”

  She made herself comfortable and kept her eyes on us.

  “So you came here to speak with me about Delano?”

  “Yes, that is correct.” I began, exhaling deeply to assist with the anxiety I was feeling. “I was curious to know how the two of you knew each other seeing as this is a potential client of mine.”

  Tegan glanced at me, realizing that I had adopted the same lie I had told him earlier.

  “And why is that any of your business? Isn’t there like a client confidentiality you have to follow?”

  Her automatic defensiveness put me on edge. It was as if I had struck a nerve before the tea was even poured.

  “It would be in your best interest to cooperate. Seeing as you were somehow involved in my best-friend’s accident, I’d hate to report the hit and run that occurred a few weeks ago. Jail has no preference when it comes to being pregnant.”

  “Shauny, what is this woman talking about?” Her mother interjected, turning her full attention to a speechless Shauntae.

  Her stoic response proved to me that my beliefs were accurate in one form or another.

  “Look that was not my idea. Check your husband for that one.” I looked at her lap to notice that she had begun to tremble a bit. “Mom can you step out please?!”

  The urgency in her tone made her mother realize how serious the situation was.

  “Fine. But only for a minute, I’m in the bedroom if you need anything.”

  She grabbed her things and retreated to another room.

  Shauntae brought her voice to a whisper.

  “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten myself involved in that shit.” She rubbed her belly and pulled at her yellow maternity dress. “I’m assuming she made it out alive, since they transported her to a hospital and not a morgue.”

  “Except for that fact that she’d like to return the favor, all is well.” Tegan replied, going into counselor mode. “If you give us the info we need, we will instruct her to not report our findings.”

  Shauntae nodded her head to agree.

  “Great. So we’ll ask again. What connection do you have to Delano Gathers?”

  She bit her lips and took a second to respond.

  “He is the real father of my child.”

  My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. I knew something was up with that phone call I heard in the hospital bathroom. Even though I still held a bit of disgust for her actions, I was glad that her child wasn’t Pierce’s. The thought of having to deal with her for the sake of my son’s sibling was something I dreaded from the moment I received the news.

  “So then who was that you were speaking to over the phone in the hospital?”

  “My husband. He went to prison for assault charges and I needed money for a lawyer. He’s been behind bars for several years which is actually where I met him.”

  “Prison love, really cute.” I commented sarcastically before I could catch myself.

  T held his hand up to Shauntae who was ready to hit my words with a comeback.

  “Ivory, I understand we are all hurt in this scenario but in order to get through this, we’ll need to step outside of ourselves and be adults about the situation.”

  She grinned from across the table like a kid who was watching her sibling be chastised for something she did.

  I simply rolled my eyes and allowed her to continue.

  “It was love at first sight.” Shauntae reminisced, looking up a
t the ceiling. “I went to make my usual visit to see my father when I spotted a man across from our visiting table. He had some bitch visiting him at the time who I made him drop the moment I stepped onto the scene.”

  Her pattern of looking for a father in the men she chose to date was evident in how she found her “husband”.

  “Anyway, I’m doing what I need to do to make sure he has what he needs. Afterwards, we plan on getting married.”

  “Does Delano’s wife know you are pregnant?”

  “Of course not.” She chuckled sinisterly. “Part of the reason why he’s been sending me “installments” to make sure I don’t tell her which is perfectly fine with me.”

  “You understand how moralistically wrong this is to blackmail a man for his money.” Tegan reasoned, rubbing his chin.

  “Nigga should have never came in me.” She shot back. “As for Pierce, he was just a nigga I slept with a few times that was dumb enough to believe it was his baby as well.”

  “So you just running around getting pregnant to get paid, what a sorry excuse for a woman you are.” I heckled.

  Shauntae satirically frowned. “Is that supposed to make me feel remorse for your man? I’m surprised you are even defending him after all the nasty things he had to say about you to me.”

  I resisted the urge to press her for his opinion of me.

  “Your mess is effecting my family. I could care-less about what you and Pierce have going on at this point, the money you are taking from him is stealing food from my child’s mouth.”

  “Aww chill girl, I was eventually gonna tell him the truth.” Shauntae played with her manicured nails. “As for the accident, it was his idea to run ol girl off the road. I just did as I was told and he straight disappeared after the deed was done which pissed me off because I wanted my damn money.”

  “I wonder why he wanted Myla dead in the first place?” I questioned.

  “Told you something was foul about that girl.” Tegan muttered before he continued mediating our conversation. “Any idea why he might want her gone?”

  “Something about her being involved in a situation awhile back. I couldn’t tell you the specifics to be honest. We would usually fuck and go our separate ways.”

  It amazed me how despite her surroundings, Shauntae exhibited the behavior of a conniving hood bitch.

  “There anything else you need to know?”

  Tegan and I looked at each other realizing there was nothing left to say.

  “Nope. We thank you for your time.” T stood up to leave with me in toe. “As for the Pierce situation, we expect that you’ll be telling him that the baby isn’t his very soon.”

  “What?! That was NOT apart of the plan.” She huffed, coming to the conclusion that she had given too much of herself away.

  “It is now, otherwise your hit and run secret will be news to the police.”

  Shauntae wobbled her way to the front door and opened it for us to leave.

  “Just don’t get in the way of my plan’s with Delano and we’re all good.” She promised as we left her home. “And please let this be the last time we cross paths.”

  “Will do.” I agreed, as we walked to T’s awaiting vehicle.

  It felt good to have an answer to a majority of the questions my mind posed about the connection between Delano and Shauntae. Now to figure out what Myla was hiding.

  “Yo, I was five minutes away from coming up there. You get the info you wanted?” Myla said during her game of patty-cake with Junior.

  “We sure did.” I answered once we got in the car.

  The ride home was awkwardly silent and for good reason. I had come to deduce that although I had never given Myla a reason not to trust me, there was something about her she didn’t want me to know and I intended to figure it out.

  CHAPTER 21

  Myla- Hartsfield-Jackson ATL Airport (Six years earlier)

  It was eight months since the incident that left me in the hospital and my life had done a complete one-eighty. I never returned to my job at The Gold Room and spent the following time preparing myself for the move back to Seattle. I was over my addiction to the fast-life and had even exchanged my “hoochified” persona for light-brown shoulder-length dread locs and a more natural appearance. Now don’t get me wrong, men still stared and ogled over me, but the type that did changed drastically. When I first made the decision to move back, I called my girl-friend Ivory who allowed me to stay with her so I could get on my feet. My ex-husband Cue was still hot on my trail, riding past my house and calling me like there was no tomorrow. Hopefully this change of pace would rid me of his presence for good.

  I stepped off the plane once the pilot had announced our arrival and placed a call.

  The receiver rang for a while before I was greeted with the barking of a loud dog.

  “Hello…” I called, covering one of my ears so that I could hear amongst the commotion.

  The phone rustled as if someone was struggling to pick it up.

  “Hello.” I female voice answered. “You must be looking for Roland?”

  “Yeah isn’t this his phone?” I responded, double-checking my line to make sure I had the correct number.

  Although Roland and I spoke sparingly, he had become my knight in shining armor from the day he and his friend Beau saved me. Not only did he continue to encourage me to walk away from my lifestyle, he even provided me with the money to fly back home. He was a true gentleman and I could never thank him enough for that.

  “It is. He’s in the shower.” The woman yawned and cleared her voice. “This is his fiancé Monae. I’m sorry who is this?”

  “Ohh.” I chuckled, suddenly recalling his story of their on and off relationship. “My name is Myla Reeves; I’ve heard so much about you. I’m just calling to let him know I made my flight.”

  “And he would need to know this because?” Her questioning my motives helped me to understand her tolerance when it came to women.

  “He didn’t tell you about me?”

  The silence that ensued answered my question.

  I had been around the way enough to know that Roland was the kind of man that had women chasing after him so it was understandable that Monae kept her eyes open and ears to the ground.

  “I met him during one of his business outings and he did me a huge favor. Could you tell him thank you if it’s not too much to ask?”

  “Sure honey, I never step in between a man and his business.” The dog continued to bark uncontrollably while Monae shouted to be heard over the turmoil. “Blondie, girl what’s the problem?” The receiver began to sound muffled. “I’m sorry Myla, you’ll have to excuse me. I will tell him what you said. Have a good day.”

  She hung up before I could grace her with a response.

  I contemplated calling back to explain who I was for Roland’s sake but decided against it.

  “I’ll let them handle their own affairs.” I said to myself while taking a seat outside the airport.

  Ten minutes after waiting for my luggage, I called a cab and took it to the address my sis Ivory had given me. When we approached the house and I walked towards the entrance, I was greeted by my best girl-friend who was sporting a pregnant belly.

  “You did NOT tell me you were pregnant!” I shouted, running up to hug her.

  I held Ivory in my embrace, rocking her back and forth like we hadn’t seen one another in centuries.

  “And you didn’t tell me you were coming back as Lauryn Hill. I love your new look!”

  “Really?” I asked, touching the ends of my locs. “I thought it was time to switch a few things in my life.”

  “Like being a hoe because if so, I completely agree.”

  I breathed a deep sigh at her cruel joke.

  “If you mean trading in my revealing clothing then yes, that might be it.” I spun around so she could see my outfit.

  I was dressed in a loose fitting white jumpsuit and fuchsia scarf. My hair made the sounds of a gentle wind chime due to t
he golden loc beads that accentuated the ends.

  “Well come in, I want to show you my place.” Ivory beamed, giving me another hug before guiding me inside.

  The interior of her home was beautiful. I remember first laying eyes on the hardwood flooring and open-space design, genuinely taken aback by the beauty she had managed to afford after years of school in counseling. It was so stunning that it made me consider my original abhorrence for college so that I could cop a place of similar style.

  After my tour of the place, I put my luggage away in her spare room and sat in the kitchen. We caught up on one another’s lives through use of chamomile tea and girl talk.

  “I can’t get over how beautiful this house is.” I used my eyes to glance around one more. “You have to tell me about this man you’re with. Does he have a brother? If he does, reserve that negro for me!”

  “I wish he did but my man is one of a kind.” She said, smiling with her eyes. “I didn’t have to spend a dime on this place, he bought it for us after our honeymoon.”

  “Well then it’s obvious the brother has a good job. What does he do? He a lawyer, doctor, professor or something of that nature.”

  Ivory smirked and took a gentle sip from her tea.

  “He’s a lawyer for the State of Washington. He’s hardly ever home which is a challenge but he’s a sweetheart when he is. Not to mention the gifts girl I can’t complain.”

  I thought about my own luck with men like Cue and frowned.

  “Something wrong?”

  “Just a little homesick.” I lied, fixing my face. “This might take a little getting used to but I think I can manage.”

  “You have no choice, you’re already here.” She reasoned, tapping me on the shoulder. “And is there a specific reason why I hadn’t heard from you up until last month.”

  The trauma I had suffered outside the club made me withdraw from everyone, even my sis Ivory. She had tried to contact me on numerous occasions while I spent my time in solitude figuring out my next move which led me to return her call several months later.

  I knew I owed her an explanation but was weary about telling her that I was raped and that my ex-husband had something to do with it.

  I played with the rim of my cup and pursed my lips outward.