Jaded: The First Cut is the Deepest

by Shawn C. Thompson

  “Just needed some time alone. You know I actually didn’t have a phone for a few months. It was super refreshing to not be attached to something man-made, made me appreciate the world for all it is.”

  Ivory downed the rest of her tea and went to put the dishes away.

  “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay. Next time, promise me that before you drop off the face of the earth, you’ll at least send a dove with a note to warn me.”

  I nodded my head in agreement.

  “Pierce will be here any minute. Can’t wait for you guys to meet.”

  The sound of his name rang a bell but I ignored my subconscious and shook of my odd feelings.

  “How many months left before you have the baby?” I asked, walking over to where she was and touching her stomach.

  “I’m literally on the cusp of my due date.” She winced, making a painful expression. “It’s like this boy is getting harder and harder to house in my tiny stomach.”

  “Awww, it’s a boy. You have any names yet?”

  “We decided to name our son after his father. Pierce Lexington Carter the second.”

  The moment Ivory said his name, we heard the lock turn on the front door.

  “Honey, I’m home.” Pierce bellowed, mimicking Ricky Ricardo from “I Love Lucy.”

  She jumped up like a puppy dog in love and scurried over to greet him with a kiss.

  I stayed where I was until the two of them walked into the kitchen hand in hand for us to be introduced.

  “Myla, this is the man and the love of my life Pierce Carter. Pierce this is my sister Myla Reeves.”

  We looked at one another as if we had known each other since before our introduction had occurred.

  Memories of pain flashed in my mental.

  These were the same eyes that watched my assailant rape me mercilessly.

  I stumbled back and dropped the cup of tea I was holding.

  “Shit, lemme go get something to clean this up.” Ivory offered before I could open my mouth to speak.

  She rushed upstairs to grab some towels, leaving me and Pierce alone to face one another.

  “It was you..” I stuttered, doing my best to hold in my tears. “You were there the night I was raped.”

  It took a moment for him to realize who I was but once he did his demeanor drastically changed.

  “The slut from the club.” He snickered and moved closer to me so that his whisper could be heard. “I knew I recognized that stench from somewhere.”

  The way Pierce talked to me made it obvious that the perfect image of a husband he presented to Ivory was all a facade to get her interested in him.

  My lips quivered with a mixture of fear and rage.

  “I’m gonna tell her what happened and you’ll be out the same door you came from.”

  “Tell her what?” He licked his lips like the savage he was. “That you slept with my homeboy outside the club in his backseat. Bet she’ll believe that being that you were a stripper and all.”

  “I was never a stripper.” I put a finger in his face to defend my name. “And what you guys did to me was wrong, you should have checked your friend for that.”

  “Get over it.” Pierce’s face held no sympathy for the past. “It is what it is. Happens all the time in your line of work I’m assuming.”

  Ivory came back with a pair of towels and a broom to clean up my mess.

  “Let me help you with that sis.” I offered, while she bent down to retrieve the pieces of broken glass.

  Pierce left the room and went upstairs without a word.

  We cleaned the kitchen floor in silence until I parted my lips to confess what was on my heart.

  “Ivory I need to talk to you about something.”

  She stopped what she was doing to look me in the eyes.

  The joy I saw in them reminded me of the joy I had with Cue before my life went to shit. Marriage did that kind of thing to a woman, especially when it was with the right person.

  I stuttered in an attempt to utter the words but I couldn’t.

  I couldn’t ruin her chance at happiness.

  “I’m happy for you. Everything you have here is beautiful and you deserve it all. I love you sister.”

  Tears welled in our eyes, each for different reasons.

  “Thank you so much Myla, that means a lot.” She embraced me as we sat on the kitchen floor. “Stay as long as you need. I’m here for you always.”

  As we remained locked in each other’s embrace, I thought about how I would survive living with the same man who watched while I was drugged and brutally attacked. I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to see that Pierce got what he deserved, if it was the last thing I ever did.

  CHAPTER 22

  After the big confrontation at Shauntae’s house, T dropped us back off at my car and we rode home to the sound of Drake’s “Views” album. Myla and my son were singing, joking and laughing together while I contemplated how I would address the secrets my best-friend was keeping.

  I told you that girl was foul.

  Tegan’s voice reverberated in my mind.

  Once we made it back to the house safely, I sent Junior upstairs so that I could talk to Myla in private.

  “Y’all should have just let me hit her in the lip for good measure.” Myla said, babbling on and on about what she would have done had she seen Pierce’s mistress in the flesh.

  I allowed her to vent while I gathered my thoughts and made myself at home on the couch.

  “Sis, can I speak to you about something really quick?” I shouted, taking my heels off and massaging them.

  She came into the living room and read the seriousness plastered all over my face.

  “What’s wrong?” she said with concern.

  It was one thing to ease my way into questioning with a client but another when it came to finessing a person who knew me the best.

  I drew in a breath.

  “I need to talk with you about what Shauntae said to me at her house earlier.”

  “What’s it about?”

  “It had something to do with you.”

  Myla folded her arms and twisted her lips into a snarl.

  “What did that bitch have to say about me? Whatever it is, I can tell you she’s lying.”

  “You haven’t let me tell you what she said though, how do you know she’s lying?”

  “Please.” Myla huffed, remaining in her position. “You can tell that she tells lies for living. Besides, what would she know about me anyway, I’ve never seen this chick in my life.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  She narrowed her eyes and turned her body to face me.

  “Yes, I AM sure of that actually. What the fuck did she say?”

  I tried to keep my voice low so Junior wouldn’t hear.

  “Shauntae told me that you know her man and that you went to see him just recently. Please tell me this isn’t true.”

  “Her man? The last man I saw was the one that got into the accident with me.” Myla recalled, picking at her nails. “Told you she was a liar.”

  “She said her man was named Cue.”

  “That bitch.” Myla muttered under her breath. “First of all, Cue is still technically my husband so he would be my man before he was hers. That’d be if I didn’t kick his sorry ass to the curb.”

  I put my hand on my forehand from exasperation. It seemed like the more I tried to untangle myself from this melodrama, the more mangled I became in it.

  “So then you know something I don’t know...”

  Myla remained silent but kept her attention on me.

  “Just tell me the truth.” I implored, beginning to sob. “I’m tired of all these secrets. First it was Pierce and now it’s you. What happened Myla, just tell me what the hell happened.”

  “I… I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me.” She began to tremble at the sight of my tears. “I do know what she’s talking about. I’ve met Shauntae before, the first ti
me I remember seeing her was when we both came up to the jail to see my husband.”

  “Wait, but doesn’t he still live in Atlanta?”

  “That’s what I thought until I was told he went to prison for assault and got transported to a place here in Seattle.”

  “You never told me why you left him in the first place.”

  She looked down at the floor before answering my question.

  “He was abusive as fuck. I know you’re probably gonna ask why I went to see him after leaving him behind but he has been keeping tabs on me since I came up here to be with you and Junior.”

  “He’s been keeping tabs on you?”

  “Yes, tabs.” She lowered her voice to match mine. “I thought I could change my life, you know, be a different person but the past just continues to follow me. I was cool for a minute here in Seattle until one of his boys hemmed me up one night outside of my old job at Burlington. Scared me shitless.”

  “And visiting him was gonna solve that?”

  “I owe him some money from back when you needed tuition. He’s not gonna leave me alone until he gets his money or I’m dead, whichever comes first.”

  I was speechless at Myla’s revelation. The thought of her being in danger because of me made it hard to think straight.

  “So you went up to see him to buy time and bumped into Shauntae? How much do you owe this dude?”

  “40k.”

  My sadness turned into a slight giggle.

  “Girl, that’s the other half of the money Denise promised me. Don’t sweat it, I’ll give her the video and you’ll be home free.”

  “Ivory that’s entirely too much money for you to sacrifice for me.” Her dreadlocs fell to the left side of her face. “You have family to support now that Pierce is acting up. Keep that and take care of Junior, I can handle this.”

  “If you could take care of this it would have been said and done years ago.”

  I grasped the ends of her fingers with mine.

  “Just think of it as me paying you back. I really wish you would have told me what you were going through, I could have gotten the money to finish school from elsewhere.”

  Myla wiped her residual tears and smirked. “I’ll be honest and say I wanted to help you for once. You were always the more responsible one and I wanted to prove to you that I could take care of myself AND you if needed. Guess I can’t say that anymore.”

  “Yes you can. You’ve been helping me since the day Pierce and I separated.” Her face changed from worry to optimism. “Even on bed-rest you were still looking out for me and Junior. Hey, now that I think of it, if you were in an accident, what happened to your date? He didn’t suffer any injuries?”

  “Girl, Cue doesn’t have a license anymore. The minute he found out the police and ambulance were coming he dipped. Bruised arm and all.”

  “But Shauntae told me he was still in prison?”

  “Yet another lie she’s told. He’s been released on bail for the past month. I took a ride with him to discuss the details of what he wanted to leave me the hell alone. Nothing more.”

  My mind replayed the scene with Shauntae and put two and two together.

  “So that’s probably why she tried to run you off the road. It was over Cue not because of Pierce like she said.”

  “Remember what type of female you’re dealing with.” Myla winked and rose to head upstairs. “She would have been better off blaming her lack of memory on pregnancy brain.”

  We laughed together before she disappeared.

  It felt so good to get my interrogation with Myla over with. I knew there was a method behind her madness and as shady as Tegan believed her to be, I was certain she would never betray me.

  I sat satisfied with our interaction until I got a text from Pierce.

  What I read made my stomach turn.

  Ivory,

  I took the liberty of collecting my coat from our last interaction and noticed a thumb drive in the coffee table. Before you wonder, yes, I did watch and will give you a chance to explain yourself before I allow the courts to fill in the blanks.

  Way to earn Mommy of the year,

  Your hubby.

  The sarcasm that oozed off the message just about made me hurl. Pierce finally found a way to get the upper hand and it was all because I failed to put the thumb drive away after Myla and I watched it on her laptop.

  I followed Myla upstairs to let her know what I had just received. This just might take two heads to figure out how I’d weasel my way out of this one.

  CHAPTER 23

  “So remember what I told you. If you want to get the drive back, you’ll have to play his game.”

  “I’d be better off sending you to meet up with this idiot, I don’t think I can do this.”

  Myla cackled over the phone while I sat in my car waiting for Pierce’s arrival.

  “The only thing I’d have for him is an attitude. You know I can’t stand him.”

  After receiving the text from Pierce about the discovery of my “sex tape”, I agreed to meet up with him the next day hoping that he would be merciful enough to give it back. Oddly enough, he suggested that we meet at private park close to sundown. The situation made me feel iffy so I kept Myla on standby just in case things went left.

  The way everything was going lately, I didn’t put anything past anyone.

  In the midst of our conversation, I saw Pierce’s vehicle pulling up from my rearview window.

  “Hey, I’m gonna call you back. He’s pulling up.”

  I could hear Junior in the background asking his Auntie to play video games with him.

  “Cool and remember what I taught you just in case he gets a little too frisky.”

  I chuckled and ended the call.

  Pierce pulled up right beside me and took a few moments to get himself together before waving at me to join him in the passenger’s seat.

  I sent a quick text to Myla and reluctantly walked over to his vehicle.

  “Well aren’t you looking dazzling tonight.” Pierce swooned giving me the once over with his Hazel eyes. “I’m surprised your butt buddy let you leave the house alone.”

  I was adorned in the same pink flutter-sleeve dress that I wore to work that day. I stopped by earlier to fill T in on the latest happenings and to prepare the schedule for my official return to the clinic.

  I kept my hand on the car door, still contemplating whether I wanted to sit inside.

  “Can we please stop with the jokes, it’s getting old.” I said plainly.

  The coldness in my voice didn’t faze him one bit.

  Pierce unlocked the door and welcomed me to sit with him.

  “Have a seat Mommy of the year.”

  I ignored his callous comment and plopped my bottom in the plush black leather seats of his Lexus.

  “So…Is there anything you’d like to say for yourself?” Pierce teased, reaching in his car’s consul to pull out the thumb drive.

  I eyed him irksomely while he dangled it in my face.

  “Nothing that you haven’t already seen. My husband owes me a few explanations himself, don’t you think?”

  My snarky comment only made him chuckle to the point where he began to hold his stomach.

  “What I do think is that you aren’t in the position to treat me how you are treating me now.” I jumped at the sound of his car doors locking. “I’d be a little nicer if I was you.”

  I answered his words with silence and a thin smile.

  “That’s more like it.” Pierce turned the music down on his radio and became serious. “Now what I wanna know is how you think you can condemn me for my actions when it turns out you were doing the same thing all along.”

  “What?” I exclaimed, feeling the heat in me rising along with the car’s temperature. “That was after our separation. What I do on my time is my business.”

  “Technically it is my business because you fail to realize that I am still your husband on paper.”

  “That paper d
idn’t mean anything to you when you were out doing your dirt so why would it be important now.” I snapped.

  “Because this is an embarrassment to me and my son that’s why.” Pierce’s muscles grew tense as he continued. “You are just as much in the wrong as I am. How could you do this to our family?”

  I rose my eyebrows at his narcissism. Although others warned me of his self-centeredness, I never realized it until after things got bad.

  Love truly was blinding at times.

  “What you saw on that tape was nothing compared to what you did to our family. You cheated on me and allowed this woman to embarrass me at my job not to mention she’s having a whole baby with you.”

  “That baby is not mine.” Pierce’s voice mellowed as he moved closer. “She told me the other day that she made a mistake.”

  I kept my face from revealing that I already heard the news and was the one who prompted her to tell him the truth.

  “How does one make a mistake like that? Only hoes have that problem.” I responded, slightly smirking at the justice I received from finding out.

  Pierce looked down at his seat.

  “I know. My intentions were never to keep her around, it was something I did out of boredom.”

  “Was coming home after a long night of cheating apart of your boredom as well?” I retorted, relishing in my victory.

  “No, it was something I looked forward to every time I did.”

  His kindness was something I hadn’t seen in a long time.

  “Ivory, I think that between Shauntae’s baby inaccuracy and the video you made, it’s safe to say that it’s a sign that we should take another look at things.”

  “Another look at things?”

  “Yes, more specifically the possibility that we were meant to be.” Pierce placed his hand on my leg. “I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry for that but I miss you and my son. Let’s just forget about this madness and repair what we had.”

  My mind wandered to the events that had occurred over the past few months. Our separation had caused a lot of inner and external turmoil that couldn’t be wiped away with a simple apology yet something in me was still yearning for the marriage that was ruined by the actions of a man who couldn’t control himself.