A Few Little Scars

by Casey McMillin

  "Hey, did you see my brother's tattoo?" Molly asked. She was just blurting out the first thing that came to her mind in an effort to change the subject. Hannah looked in Ben's direction. She and Ben had shared quite a few late night kisses over the years, but never dated. Hannah couldn’t help but notice how good he looked. He had on a long sleeve button up shirt, but had the sleeves rolled where his forearm was exposed. It was a cool tattoo and it looked really good on him.

  Hannah was head over heels about Jason, and would never consider letting anything happen with Ben, but she could totally appreciate his gorgeousness from a distance.

  "I can see the bottom of it, but he hasn't shown me the whole thing," Hannah said.

  "It's huge," Molly said. "It takes up his whole arm and chest." Molly ran a hand up her own arm and onto her chest to show Hannah.

  "I can't believe he's moving with you," Hannah said.

  "You should have heard him talking to my dad like he wasn't scared of him at all."

  "Who's your dad gonna get to help run the store?"

  Molly shrugged. "Anybody. It wasn't really about wanting me to run the store as much as it was about not wanting me to leave Sparta."

  "When are you moving?"

  "A session at school starts in four weeks—after the holidays. They start a new one every eight weeks, though. So even if I can't make it for the one coming up, it'll be pretty soon. I've already applied and everything. It's just a matter of getting moved."

  "What about your brother?"

  "What about him?"

  "What's he gonna do?"

  "The Army is paying for his college. He can go anywhere he wants. He'll probably go to Vanderbilt next fall."

  "That's like a year away," Hannah said.

  Molly shrugged. "He'll just get a job and hang out in Nashville before then I guess."

  "That's awesome. I'll keep my eyes open for something around my place. I would just let you take over my apartment, but I don't think there's room for you and your brother."

  Molly laughed. "No lie. We would kill each other in there. I thought about asking you to get out of there and give it to me, but now that Ben's coming we'll need something bigger for sure."

  "Sometimes one of our customers at the coffee shop will know of something for rent," Hannah said. "We have a bulletin board in there too. I'll keep my eyes peeled." Hannah opened her eyes really wide.

  The girls giggled. It wasn't the type of joke that would normally be funny to them but they were four drinks in and feeling silly. Hannah dug in the back pocket of her black skinny jeans for her phone. It vibrated for what she thought was longer than an email alert, so she pulled it out to look at it.

  "It's Jason," she said. "He's hanging out with Nick tonight. Look." She held out her phone so Molly could see the photo Jason had just sent. It was a picture of Jason and Nick with Cam in the background photo-bombing the thing.

  Molly blinked at it. She had started to get used to the idea of knowing people like Cam, but she was tipsy enough that the whole being friends with famous people thing felt odd again. She tried to appreciate Cam's photobomb and other parts of the photo, but couldn't seem to take her eyes off Nick. She took Hannah's phone and zoomed in on him, not even caring if Hannah saw or what she thought. She stared at his face, remembering his kiss, his body, his scent, his touch.

  "Shit," Molly said, handing the phone back to Hannah.

  "What?"

  Molly didn't even realize why she'd said it. "I didn't know Cam was back in town," she said, looking for a topic that wasn't Nick.

  "He just got back," Hannah said. She was distracted because she was typing a text to respond to Jason.

  "You should tell him not to get in trouble," Molly said. "I'm telling him to tell Nick you're in looove," Hannah said, smiling as she typed.

  "You better not, Hoo. Hannah seriously." Molly reached for the phone and Hannah dodged her for long enough to press send. "Hannah, seriously, did you say that?"

  "No," she said. "Are you?"

  "Am I what?"

  "In love with him?"

  "No, God no. I like him and I slept with him, you know, so—"

  "Who'd you sleep with?" Ben said tuning into their conversation. "That Zeke guy you told me about?"

  "It's none of your business," Molly said. "But, no it's not that Zeke guy."

  He looked at Hannah.

  "Who is it?"

  Hannah raised a hand in surrender and looked away, wide-eyed. "I'm not saying anything," she said.

  "You'd say something if somebody was hurting my baby sister and I had to jump in, right?"

  "Of course I would," Hannah said. She thought about that trueness of that statement and wondered if Molly was in danger of being hurt by Nick. "I wish I had a big brother like you who was willing to beat up all my bad guys," she said.

  Ben smiled. "I don't know—Nate's pretty fierce," he said. "Besides, I heard you were pretty much married anyway." Hannah thought about that. She knew her friends and family were very aware of the amount of time she and Jason spent together, but she'd never heard someone put it like that. She thought maybe she should be offended or something, but then realized she didn't give a crud what anyone thought. She wanted to marry him, so it shouldn’t offend her for someone to say they acted like it.

  "I think we are," Hannah said thinking about Jason and how she missed him right then.

  Molly couldn't help but wish she was as content in her relationship as Hannah was in hers. Was she even in a relationship with Zeke? They'd been in this weird gray area since that first breakup the night she slept with Nick, and hadn't been the same since. Molly hadn't been the same since.

  Chapter 17

  Two drinks later (for a whopping total of six drinks all together), Molly and Hannah were still in the same spot in the kitchen, laughing and carrying on. Somewhere in the haze, it dawned on Hannah that they were at a birthday party for Molly and they should probably sing or do something to wish her a happy birthday.

  "Everyone, everyone, hey guys." Her voice wasn't loud enough to cut through the talking. Ben saw her attempt and put his fingers in his mouth to let out a sharp, shrill whistle. Most of the room fell silent and looked at Ben, who pointed at Hannah.

  She cleared her throat. "Molly is twenty-one today, and—"

  "Not today," Molly interrupted.

  "Okay not today, but the other day, and anyway we have to sing to her."

  "Wait a second," Lauren, the party hostess, said. She ran across the kitchen and got a candle and lighter out of a drawer. She also pulled a hat that was in the shape of a cake with candles on top from little cabinet above the microwave. She actually had to call Ben over to get that one since she was short, but the hat was retrieved and put on top of Molly's head.

  Lauren stuck the candle in a random bran muffin and handed it to Molly without a plate or anything. The crowd sang happy birthday, and Hannah snapped a photo just as Molly was taking a deep breath to blow the candles out. She snapped a second photo, but by that time the candle was out and it came out too dark. The first one was great anyway. Molly's mouth was open and smiling and she looked really cute with the big, bright hat on and her face glowing in the light of the candle. Hannah uploaded the photo to Instagram without even showing it to Molly first. It was a good picture and she knew Molly wouldn't care.

  An hour later, Molly was wandering around looking for her brother, hoping he was fit to drive her and Hannah home. It was really late and she wanted a shower and a comfortable bed. She had roamed around the house twice, and couldn't find Ben anywhere. She had the bright idea to try calling him, and dug her phone out of the tiny little bag she forgot she had strapped over her shoulder.

  She hadn't looked at her phone in a while and stared at the screen, taking in all the messages. She had two phone messages and three texts. The phone messages were both from Hannah earlier in the night when she couldn't find Molly, but the three texts were all from different people.

  The first was from Zeke
. It said, "Missin you." He was a passionate songwriter and sometimes he said things that were a bit too emotional sounding for Molly's taste. Maybe it was because she grew up with a tough-guy athlete older brother, or maybe it was just that she was more attracted to Nick than she was to Zeke, but every little thing bugged her about Zeke lately. She didn't respond to that text, she went back to the main screen to view the others. She could see that one was from her brother and one was from Nick. She went to her brother's text first because that one might have impact on her getting home—plus, she wanted to save Nick's till last for some reason.

  Ben: "I'm going to drive around with Jacob."

  She knew that meant they'd be a while, and she figured if she was in a hurry to get home she'd have to look for another ride. Molly looked at the text again, and realized it came in one minute before. She thought she could maybe catch her brother and Jacob in the driveway before they left.

  She walked to the door quickly, and once she got outside, she started jogging down the line of cars looking for Jacob's truck. She caught sight of headlights pulling out a little ways down, and as soon as she could tell it was Jacob's truck, she stood in the middle of the road to flag them down.

  Ben rolled down the passenger's side window when they pulled up beside Molly, and smoke poured out of it.

  "We need a ride," she said, looking over Ben to his friend.

  "Who? Just you and Hannah?" He looked into the tiny rear cab of his truck. "Because I don't have room for anymore."

  "Just me and Hannah," she promised. "Stay right here, I'm just gonna go grab her." Molly patted the side of his truck before taking off toward the house to get Hannah. She found her right away, and Hannah came quickly. It was almost 2AM, and she was past buzzed and freaking exhausted.

  They made quick work of saying goodbye to everyone and ran to meet their ride that was still waiting in the middle of the road. Hannah decided to crash at Molly's house because she was really buzzed and didn't want to take the chance of having Nate wake up. "I'm seriously feeling contact high from all the smoke in this truck," Hannah said on their way to Molly's. "You're parents are gonna smell this."

  "They're asleep," Molly said. She took out her phone. Even though she wanted to wait till she got home and could pay attention to reading the text from Nick, she couldn't wait any longer. She looked down at the message from Nick.

  Nick: "I saw a picture of you on Instagram. I could see your teeth from way over here in Nashville. I wish they were biting me. In honor of your party, I'll be imagining you in your birthday suit as I rub one out tonight."

  Molly blinked and refocused on the screen, making sure she read the words right. She was relatively sure that rub one out meant he was planning on jerking off while thinking about her and the thought made her let out a little laugh.

  "What?" Hannah asked, blinking sleepily through the thick fog of pot fumes. The boys offered to share with Hannah and Molly, but they were already so lit from the punch that neither of them took him up on it.

  "I was just laughing at a text," Molly said.

  They weren't the type of friends who pried when information wasn't freely given, so Hannah didn't ask Molly to explain even though she was tempted to.

  Molly told Hannah she could take the first shower, and went into her bedroom to read Nick's text again and text him back. She thought she might play along.

  Molly: "I hope your birthday suit image of me does me justice."

  She wasn't sure if she would have sent a text like that if she hadn't been buzzed, but she told herself she didn’t even really feel it anymore. Her phone buzzed and chimed in her hand, startling her. She juggled it for a second before getting a hold of it and looking at the screen.

  Nick: "Trust me, you look good in my head."

  She was feeling just reckless enough to be bold.

  Molly: "If I were there, you'd have bite marks to go along with that imagination of yours."

  Nick: "Don't fuckin tempt me."

  Molly: "I thought that was the whole point."

  Nick: "If I were there, I'd take hold of your round ass and pound you senseless."

  Molly: "Crap, that's intense. I didn't know we were getting nasty."

  Nick: "That's nowhere near nasty, my little birthday girl. That's not even in the ballpark of nasty."

  As silly as it was, Molly was injured that she hadn't got his best nasty, and really wanted to know what that was. It crossed her mind in that moment to ask him where he was and see if Daisy was with him, but she knew there was no good way to find out that information, and even if she did, she might not like the answer. She decided to ignore the urge to ask.

  She was sober enough to know she was too buzzed to be going with her instincts. Instead she text:

  Molly: "So, what else do you want to do to me?"

  Nick: "What are you wearing?"

  Molly: "Why does it matter?"

  Nick: "Because you wanted to know what I wanted to do to you and knowing what you're wearing is key."

  Molly: "Jeans and a shiny hot pink shirt my mom got me for my birthday. No shoes or socks. My hair was pinned up, but now it's down."

  Nick: "I have on jeans too, but I was just about to get out of them. Why don't you do the same?"

  Molly's eyes got wide as she looked in the direction of the bathroom door. Hannah was still showering—Molly could hear the water running.

  She was excited and horrified in exactly equal parts. While she liked the act of sex, she was still new at it and had never even considered the possibility of sexting. How does one sext, exactly? She was extremely nervous about figuring out what to write. How could something so ludicrous be so appealing and something so appealing be so ludicrous? She thought carefully about her next text before she sent it. She went for honesty.

  Molly: "I have no idea what I'm doing." Then she quickly typed out another one that said, "Shoot, I'm sorry. That's not sexy."

  Nick: "Of course you don't know what you're doing, because I haven't told you."

  Molly: "Hannah's about to be done in the bathroom and then she's gonna be in here. I have to be good." Molly read the text after she sent it and was basically mortified with it, but she'd already pressed send.

  Nick: "Your turn in the shower?"

  Molly: "Yep."

  Nick: "Facetime me from your iPad. I'll give you instructions."

  Molly: "We can't talk. She's right in the next room. She'll hear everything."

  Nick: "Just go Facetime me. Mute your iPad. I'll text instructions."

  "You talking to Zeke?"

  Molly hadn't even noticed that Hannah walked up behind her. She jumped guiltily, trying not to be too obvious about hiding the phone from Hannah's view.

  "This is me just, I mean I was just messing around on Pinterest—looking at tattoos," Molly was the worst liar on the planet, but it must have been good enough.

  Hannah smiled. "Are you excited?" she asked. Her birthday present to Molly was a two-hour session with one of the best tattooers in Nashville, and Molly really was stoked about getting one. She loved the gift and everything, but that was the last thing on her mind right then.

  "I'm so excited!" she said. She picked up her phone and crossed the room to get some clothes and her iPad.

  "I'm gonna shower. You can just watch TV or whatever."

  "I'll turn the TV on, but I'll probably go to sleep."

  "I'm tired too," Molly said. She closed and locked the bathroom door and waited until she heard the TV turn on before she entered Nick's email address into her Facetime. She pressed the button to call and stood there nervously, waiting for Nick to pick up.

  The screen blinked to a shot of his face, and Molly felt an epic wave of something like desire hit her at the sight.

  It's really hard to know how to look pretty on Facetime. She could see herself in the tiny little window and tried to do itty bitty, split-second adjustments to make herself look better. Facetime sucks, she thought. Oh well, she chose to look at Nick instead and, as much
as she could, ignore herself in the little box. Oh my God, he is so gorgeous. I think he might be the perfect man. Man. He's a man. That's what he had that Zeke lacked, and Molly was finding that it was just too much of a strike against Zeke.

  At the moment, she didn't even remember there was a guy named Zeke. Nick was talking, but Molly had her iPad turned down. She had been staring at him thinking about his amazing face and he'd been thinking she could hear him. Molly pointed at her ears and shook her head, indicating she couldn't hear anything.

  He stopped talking and smiled, looking down at his phone and tapping on the screen with his thumb. She watched him, imagining what it felt like to touch him. She tried to call it to memory and found herself desperately wanting to feel his skin and the muscle beneath it again. Her phone vibrated and she looked down at the screen.

  Nick: "Just set the iPad where I can watch you shower, and get undressed slowly."

  She glanced up at the screen and smiled at him before typing out a text.

  Molly: "There's a shower door. Are you trying to watch me the whole time I'm in there?"

  Nick read the text and looked at her with a sarcastic cock of the head. He shook his head a little as he wrote her back.

  Nick: "Leave the door open. Figure it out. Make it happen. Yes, I'm watching your whole shower, so make it good."

  Dang it, dang it, dang it. Molly was already embarrassed at the thought of trying to make it good. How many girls had he watched shower, and what did they do? She wished she'd have done a little research on sexy showering. Suddenly, Molly had a thought. She was extremely buzzed, and she realized that she could just do whatever she wanted and blame it on being drunk. She pretty much was, so it wouldn't be lying.

  She did her best to set the iPad in a location where Nick could see her as she showered. She turned on the water, and was about to reach for the hem of her shirt, but then leaned over get a closer look at her little box on the screen. She glanced at Nick and then at the box, making sure she was framed in the camera before going back to the job of undressing.