White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “Your Matt, huh? Was, or is he, your boyfriend?” Jackie had not talked about herself much, so Simone thought now might be the chance to find out some juicy details.

  Jackie put down the book for the night. If they were going to talk about Matt, she would have to give the conversation her full attention. She had avoided the topic at all costs for too long. A few other girls asked about her ring, wondering if it was facing her heart to signify she was in a relationship, or out to mean she was looking for love. She claimed it was neither, as she didn’t really know herself.

  “He was my boyfriend…quite a few times,” Jackie started to explain.

  Simone sat up straighter. “Whoa, this is going to be a good story. Finally, let loose, girl!”

  “Well I don’t know where to begin. I don’t even know how many times we were actually ‘going out’, but it was on and off since we were thirteen I think. Okay, maybe twelve, but I don’t know if that counts.”

  “Wow, that young? Was he like a next door neighbor or something?”

  “No, our moms are friends. We met when we were one and a half.” Jackie had to laugh at the visual she had made up to go with this explanation. “We moved to the same town as his when we were going into first grade but went to different schools. Believe it or not, we have the same birthday. Anyway, we got together every couple of years and would last a few months… It’s complicated.”

  “What about now? Sounds like true love to me,” Simone confessed.

  “I do love him. We’re just not together right now.”

  “Sounds like your story isn’t over yet.”

  Jackie smiled.

  ***

  “What about you M-dog? You leave any broken hearts behind?”

  “Too many to count!” Matt said to the group gathered around. He had rehearsed the comeback when the conversation turned to girls and girlfriends. He didn’t want to talk about Jackie with his teammates.

  The guys laughed and let it go. They continued to play cards.

  “I’ve got a girlfriend back home. She’s still in high school,” Matt heard Jim’s voice in the dark much later that night. They had just turned out the lights. Jim was on the top bunk. Matt was glad his roomie had waited to confess in this innocuous way. He grinned up at the bottom of Jim’s bed.

  “That’s cool,” Matt answered. He liked Jim; he was a good, normal guy.

  “We’ll see,” Jim answered.

  Matt felt he now had to come clean. “There’s no string of broken hearts anywhere. Just Jackie. It’s always been Jackie.”

  “Oh.”

  “I don’t know where we stand. We sorta have a history of on again, off again. A long history.” Matt absently twirled the ring on his right hand.

  “That’s cool,” Jim replied.

  “Yeah, well, like you said…we’ll see.”

  ***

  Ann couldn’t wait to discuss her pressing issue in the safety of the darkness like her son had; she had to face her husband as soon as he walked in the door. If he ever walked in the door.

  “Is that you, Bill?” she called from the kitchen after she heard a car door slam.

  No answer came; neither did a body appear. She got suspicious and wiped her hands on a dish rag and went in search of her intruder.

  She found him sitting on a plastic cooler in the garage drinking a can of beer, presumably from said cooler; his expression was empty.

  “I didn’t know you kept a secret stash out here,” she tried for a light, joking approach, knowing it was going to get heavy and serious soon.

  “Neither did I. Matt must have forgotten about this in all the rush to leave. I found it the other day. Not bad, still cold.” Bill took a long swig.

  “We have to talk.”

  “I know.” He scooted to make room on the cooler for her.

  Ann remained standing. “How bad is it?”

  “Bad.”

  She winced but announced, “I can’t keep making excuses and minimum payments. The finance charges alone are out of control.”

  “See what you can do to hold them off a bit longer. I’ve got a bigger fish to fry at the moment and honestly have no idea how I’m going to do it.”

  “Bill, no more games. Explain who or what the fish is and why it needs to be fried, now.” Ann recalled Patty’s advice to be firm.

  “You’re right. The fish is a guy I owe some money to. My time’s up, and he’s called in the loan, and I don’t have the money.”

  “Wait, what kind of guy are we talking about? A buddy, a boss, a bank? Are we in legal trouble? Should I call a lawyer?”

  “No, not legal trouble, but trouble. Big trouble.”

  “Oh my God, do you mean a loan shark? Are they coming after you?” Ann started pulling at her hair and pacing the garage frantically. Bill was so calm, or drunk. He must have known about this for some time, she realized.

  “They will come after me. I just came back from asking for more overtime, but it won’t be enough. Ann, I’ve never asked you before, but could you please look for a job?”

  ***

  After relaying most of the story to Patty, she comprehended how it sounded. Patty took it for the plea it seemed to be.

  “How much do you need?” Patty asked.

  “Oh no, no. That’s not what I meant at all. I will not take your money. To tell the truth, I never even asked how much he owes. I’m afraid to. I just said I would get a job, and he agreed to work as much as possible. He apparently lost his second shift a long time ago and has been going to bars and gambling. Overtime or another shift is exactly what he needs to keep out of trouble. This is his mess. I’ll help, but I won’t take handouts to help pay for his addictions. But thank you; I know you’re sincere.”

  “Well then, how about a job at Patty’s Home Rehab and Design Centre? Centrally located at 3712 Main Street for all your home repair and décor needs?”

  “What?”

  “I leased a store. I now have a small office, complete with a consulting center of tables and chairs for clients and plenty of room for samples. I need someone to answer the phone and keep the books. Don’t look at me like that. Go see for yourself, the sign is the window for the position right now.” Patty changed her tone and continued, “I seem to recall you were once a secretary.”

  “And a damn good one, too. Go take the Help Wanted sign down pronto. The job is no longer available!” Ann practically yelled into the receiver.

  ***

  “Everything’s great, Mom. Classes are wonderful, the professors are amazing—so worldly. Everyone here is so super smart, though. I’ll have to work really hard to stay above the curve. For once, I’m not only the Asian girl in the school.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be just fine. You’ve always been such a hard worker. What about friends? Boys?” Patty asked.

  “Things are fine there, too. I get along well with girls on my floor. There are plenty of cute boys around, and only since you dared to ask, I am not interested in dating anyone right now. I’m here to get earn my BS, not my M-R-S.”

  “I only hope you’re not letting Matthew hold you back from meeting anyone new are you?”

  “No, Mother. Neither of us is holding the other back at all. We have an understanding, between the two of us. Not that we’ve talked recently,” Jackie admitted.

  “Well, that brings me the next subject.” Patty filled Jackie in on her new venture—gushed really.

  “Good for you, Mom. It’s about time you went for it and did something just for you. So, what did Dad say about it?”

  “To be honest, I didn’t even tell him until it was a done deal. I told him that I had made a deposit and ordered everything all out of the business’s account, assured him it would not cost him a cent. I thought he would be satisfied with that, but all he said was ‘Good luck. You know half of all new businesses fail within the first year.’ I will prove him wrong.”

  “Yes you will. Go, Mom!”

  “Thank you. One last thing. Ann asked me for yo
ur phone number. Matt wants to call. I said I didn’t know it by heart yet and would call her later with it. Should I?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s not that difficult to call the student directory. All colleges have them. He doesn’t need his mother. If he wants to call, he will…or would have already.”

  ***

  “Road trip!”

  “You in, Foster?”

  “Sure. Where are we going?” Matt asked. This was their last free weekend before basketball practices were to begin in earnest. By the next weekend, they’d either be scrimmaging or training every day and twice on weekends. The team had been discussing how to best take full advantage of this free time.

  “Yale. Tim’s got a buddy in a frat, and they’re having a huge pre-rush party,” Jeff explained. He was a sophomore, but he and Matt had hit if off during team orientation and the practices that had followed weeks ago. Tim was Tim McLaughlin, captain, senior, and superstar forward. In the next few months, everyone would be watching his every move, which was why he was eager to disappear for the weekend as soon as possible. Matt’s roommate, Jim, had gone home for the weekend to New Jersey to visit his girlfriend. Matt counted himself lucky not to be kept on a leash. Now he had a decision to make.

  “Yale, sure.” Matt couldn’t believe the coincidence. He hadn’t told anyone of his connection to the school.

  Three hours later, five Huskies folded themselves into an old Toyota Tim had sweet talked into borrowing from one of his many female admirers. Looking ridiculous all crammed into the tiny car, they raced through Connecticut with Missouri license plates and music blaring.

  “No talk of basketball. We are incognito at this party,” Tim announced.

  “Unless, of course, it would be to impress a lady,” someone in the back seat corrected.

  “Obviously!”

  “Any chance I can make a quick stop at one of the dorms?” Matt finally asked as they approached the entrance to the campus.

  “Why?” Tim teased.

  “I’ve got an old friend I want to say hi to, you know, since we’re here anyways. It would be rude not to while we’re, ya know, like in the neighborhood.”

  “Nice try, Foster. I think we’d all like to meet your girl. Let’s go.”

  Matt groaned but knew he was beat. How did they know? Was he that transparent? He gave them the name of the all-girls hall, and soon they were parked and stretching their long limbs from the trip. Like most freshman dorms, there was a desk at the entrance where a student sat studying and monitoring the sign in/out book.

  “Who are you here to see?” the studious looking girl asked the towering boys.

  “Jackie Hamilton.”

  “Oh, Jacqueline. I’ll call up to her. She’s probably in the common room.” She picked up the beige phone in front of her and pushed an extension.

  “Hi, Mags, it’s Emily at the front desk tonight. Is Jacqueline there? Good, have her come down. There’s a surprise here for her.” She blushed as she gave the message. Matt grinned to assure her she’d done the right thing.

  He nervously shuffled his big feet while he waited, unable to look up and the let the guys see his face full of anxiety. The first thing he saw were her tiny, slippered feet gracefully descending the stairs, and his heart began to race. When the rest of her petite body emerged, it was all he could do not to run to her.

  “Matt!” she yelled and began to move faster…until she saw the others.

  “Jackie! Uh, these are some of the guys from the team,” he explained.

  “Hi, Guys from the Team.”

  Instantly liking Jackie and her melodious voice, Tim took the mature lead to introduce himself and the others. He then decided Matt was in good hands.

  “Well, it was great to meet you, but we’re expected over at Delta-something or other. How about you meet us there when you’re ready, bud?”

  “Sounds good.” Matt was relieved.

  They said their goodbyes, leaving Matt and Jackie alone. They hugged, hard and needy, in front of the student receptionist.

  “Jackie, no guys upstairs,” the desk monitor whispered.

  “I know,” Jackie answered without looking away from Matt.

  “Simone’s going home for the weekend, right?” Emily asked quietly.

  Jackie nodded. “Yes, she already left.”

  “Okay, one hour, that’s it. I can’t take the pressure any longer than that. Come down alone first to make sure it’s clear, then we’ll sneak him out somehow.”

  “You’re the best, Emily. I’ll do your laundry on Sunday,” Jackie offered.

  “Yes, you will.”

  In the solitude of her room, it was easy to forget the last month and hard to keep their hands off each other. Jackie was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and pajama pants, and Matt quickly learned she wasn’t wearing a bra. She claimed she was planning to stay in and study that night.

  “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

  “Me neither. I didn’t even know about the trip until noon today. I should have called, and I don’t mean just about coming today,” Matt said sheepishly, feeling bad that he had known and that he planned to go out for the night. Now all he wanted to do was stay in and “study” with her.

  “It’s okay. I could’ve called, too, you know. We’re even. Anyway, I think it’s better if we don’t call each other at school.” He looked puzzled, so she continued, “It’s just I’m happy, you seem happy, and when we’re together, we’re happy…but not when we’re apart. I hear my friends cry into the phone, telling their boyfriends how much they miss them. It just makes everyone miserable. I don’t want that for us.”

  “You’re right, phone calls would be depressing.” He kissed her cheek. “You’re so smart.”

  “See, we can be together when we’re together, like we planned—that’s it,” she confirmed.

  “Holy crap! Guess what?” he said louder than necessary. “We’re together right now! And in a dorm room alone. With a bed!”

  “And we have a whole forty minutes!” she replied with matched enthusiasm and pushed him back onto her neatly-made, extra-long twin.

  After, Jackie felt the need to ask something, at the risk of sounding desperate and very girly, but went for it. “Matt, over the summer, remember when said ‘forever?’ You still mean that, right?”

  “Of course. I know we didn’t start off so great, but who’s better with re-starts than us? Anyway, yes, of course, I do, still do, always will.”

  “The whole white-picket fence, two-point-five kids?”

  “Don’t forget the dog—a golden retriever. I’ve always wanted one. A male. I had a house full of women already and I never got my dog—Bo.”

  “You got it.”

  “Except, remember that I’ll be an NBA star, so we could be living anywhere.”

  “Fine by me, as long as we’re together.”

  “Always.

  “Thanks, Matt. I guess I just needed to hear that. I love you.”

  “Me, too, to all of that.”

  They cuddled and kissed some more before looking at the clock and sighing.

  She declined going to the party with him, reassured him she was fine, and told him she loved him. This was more than enough to make up for lost time, lost sleep… It would carry her through. Jackie knew how much Matt loved her and could now feel it once again.

  He thanked her for being the coolest chick ever and said that he loved her.

  They both said they could hardly wait for Thanksgiving break.

  ***

  “When do you pick up Jackie?” Ann asked from her executive swivel chair.

  “She has one class Wednesday morning at eight, so we told her we’d be there in time to take her out for lunch. I figure that will break up the drive for Robert.”

  “Oh, I assumed he wouldn’t take a day off. Glad to hear it.”

  “Me, too. Glad, that is, and surprised,” Patty confessed then turned the conversation over as she had been doing lately. “What about Ma
tt?”

  “Lucky me, he’s getting a ride and will show up sometime Wednesday afternoon. You know, that’s a big night out for the kids, so I really won’t see him until Thursday. I can be here at the office Wednesday if you’d like, since I’m not cooking or hosting this year. We’re going to Bill’s brothers’ and then stopping by Melissa’s new boyfriend’s family for dessert.”

  “Wow.”

  “I know. Hey, we’re not supposed to talk about the kids.”

  “It’s really about us, though,” said Patty.

  ***

  “Oh good, you’re home,” Matt sighed into the phone when Jackie answered.

  “I’ve been home for a few hours and have already spent ‘quality time’ with the parents in the car. Do you want to come over?”

  “I’ll be right there, and then we can go over to Dave’s house if you’re up for it.”

  Matt arrived, made the necessary parental pleasantries, and they soon disappeared to the family room.

  They showed each other how much they were missed as best they could with Patty and Robert in nearby in the kitchen. Around nine o’clock, Matt left for Dave’s alone. Jackie told him she felt like she should be home this night but promised to “be fun” on Friday. She really didn’t want to share him with his buddies. It was better to be alone at home than alone with him tonight, the first night he’d seen his friends in months; she knew what would happen. He needed to get that out of his system.

  The Hamiltons celebrated Thanksgiving alone, claiming they wanted to savor the precious time they had with her during this short visit. Jackie was grateful and content, but she could tell both her parents were on edge. They seemed forced, fake, as if they had not seen each other since she left. They made small talk and asked about her classes.

  “We’ve pretty much left the weekend free for you but have booked a nice brunch on Sunday before we drive you back.”

  “Thank you,” Jackie answered her family as formally as they had addressed her.

  Jackie and Brianna met on Friday morning, and Sydney joined them later for lunch. She was planning a party at her house for the following night. Her parents were taking her little sister to visit Stanford and UCLA. Whitney wanted sunshine along with her college education, and her parents were trusting Sydney to watch their mansion in the woods.