Being Whitney (Book one of the Being Series): A Young Adult Novel

by Elizabeth Thompson

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “Shhh!” said Brynley, “He’s coming over here.”

  Whitney’s heart jumped into her throat and she froze staring at Brynley through huge eyes.

  “Hey,” Leif said, putting his arm around her and making it even harder for her to breathe.

  “Hey,” she said, smiling at him.

  “You killed it. As I knew you would,” he said. He gave her a squeeze and then let go. Whitney worked to breathe normally.

  “Thanks,” she said.

  “You sure did make a name for yourself tonight Brynley. They should have started you,” he said.

  “Thanks,” said Brynley.

  “What about me? Didn’t I kill it?” Everley asked jokingly.

  “Yes, I apologize Evey, you killed it during those last 22 seconds you played,” Leif said.

  “Whatever!” Everley said grabbing Brynley’s arm and pulling her towards Ivy.

  “What’d your dad say about the game?” Leif asked Whitney.

  “He was actually nice. Told me I played well and that the loss didn’t belong to me,” she said.

  “Finally!” said Leif. “I’d already decided that if he tore you apart for that game I was going to talk to him, and I was not going to be nice.”

  Whitney scanned the gym while they dissected the game. It seemed like everyone was watching her and Leif. Everley, Brynley and Ivy kept sending glances their way, Whitney figured they were telling Ivy about everything. That worried her. As did the glares she kept getting from Eva and Jasmine. What worried her most though was that Leif kept glancing over his shoulder towards his family.

  “Leif!” his dad bellowed after a few minutes.

  “I gotta go.” Leif let out a tired sigh. Whitney nodded and forced a smile.

  Then, he leaned over and put one hand on her cheek, letting it linger there. “You did great!” he said before kissing her on the forehead and then turning to go. Frozen, Whitney just smiled as he walked away.

  Brynley and Everley made a b-line for Whitney.

  “Ahhh. Does that mean you’re together and he’s okay with people knowing?” Everley asked.

  “I don’t know,” Whitney said realizing the last few minutes of public affection from Leif really cleared up nothing.

  Spring

  Chapter 13

  Whitney dreamed of sunshine and choir songs returning to school after the tournament hand in hand with Leif, but she knew enough about Millersburg to know her dreams didn’t usually come true. She’d waited anxiously the whole ride home for Leif to text her, eventually surrendering to sleep. Monday morning she spent more time picking out her outfit than she had since the first day of school. Things felt different and that terrified her. She was nearly used to Millersburg Whitney, but now to be the girl dating Leif, if that’s what they were doing, was too much.

  “Did he text you last night? Are things official?” Brynley asked as Whitney slid into her seat in first period, carefully tucking the casual black dress she’d picked underneath her.

  “No.”

  “No to which?” Brynley asked. Whitney was acutely aware Ivy hadn’t stopped watching her since she entered.

  “No to both.”

  “Did Leif say anything on the way home last night?” Brynley asked Ivy sucking the air from the room.

  Ivy debated her answer for a minute, which only gave time for the boys to all tune in too. Whitney glanced at Jesse, who seemed just as invested in the answer as she was.

  “My dad asked if Leif had a new girlfriend and Leif said ‘why does it matter?’ and then they got into it. Jasmine threw in her two cents and I tried to ignore it all,” Ivy said.

  “Does your dad still want him to be with Eva?” Brynley asked quietly.

  “They will always still want him to be with Eva,” Ivy said avoiding all eye contact with Whitney.

  The words echoed in Whitney’s head, finally settling in her stomach like a pile of rocks right before second period.

  “Hey you. You look gorgeous today,” Leif said sliding into the desk next to hers a few minutes before the bell rang and bringing her breath back with him.

  “Thanks.”

  “Come talk to me a minute?” Leif asked, nodding towards the back room.

  “Sure,” Whitney said following, trying not to focus on how closely Eva, Jasmine and Ivy were all following her every move.

  Leif led her to the worn couch in the corner of the room without saying a word. Whitney’s stomach twisted tighter and tighter as he bit his bottom lip, being extremely cute while he did it.

  “So Eva’s crazy.”

  “Yeah,”

  “And there’s like a lot of shit with my family, which I’ve said, but it just sounds like it shouldn’t matter and I think it will.”

  Whitney looked at the yellowing ceiling tiles willing herself not to cry.

  “Whitney,” Leif said forcing her to look at him, “I’m not ending things.” He grinned widely and pulled her in. “You silly thing. God, I’m not ready for that, we’re just getting started.”

  Whitney sunk against him; his embrace was impossible to resist.

  “I just want you to say that I don’t know if this is going to look like some of the other relationships. I think we just need to go slow and keep the pda at a minimum to try and avoid…”

  “Me getting killed?” Whitney finished for him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “It’s fine. I value my life.”

  He smiled softly, with a defeated look greying his eyes just slightly, and led them back to class. Whitney took her seat by Ivy and he returned to his normal zone with his crew and while Whitney knew they’d taken a step, Ivy and Eva’s glares told her there wouldn’t be another one.

  ◆◆◆

  Track was foreign to Whitney, but after a week of begging from all of her friends, and just a simple ask from Leif, she decided to try it out. It did mean she’d be on all the long bus rides with Leif, as Brynley kindly pointed out. Whitney heard Leif was good, apparently he’d placed second in state the year before, but she didn’t know much else about the team. She figured it was running, with all her friends and her kind-of-but-not-really boyfriend. Sounded great. Throughout the first week of practice, Whitney learned a number of lessons about how track at Millersburg actually went.

  Lesson one: Leif was more than good. He was so good that he was in a league of his own. Everyone needed to treat him like the God he was and yield to him at all times.

  Lesson two: The only person even remotely near Leif’s God status was Eva. Eva was the school record holder in the 800 and the 400 and was expected to run at state in both of those events. She too should be yielded too.

  Lesson three: Mr. Smyth, ie Lief’s dad, was an assistant coach.

  Lesson four: Whitney was actually not too bad at long distance running. At least one of the lessons wasn’t horrible news.

  One practice of King Leif and Queen Eva strutting around the track was enough to worry Whitney, she’d gotten used to their minimal contact relationship, soaking up his attention in math and taking his lack of attention to Eva as a conciliation prize in yearbook, but watching them workout together, while everyone else, including her, stood to the side like peasants was nearly too much. Thus she was relieved when Leif grabbed her after practice and offered her a ride home, and agreed to hang out for awhile after.

  “This room is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Leif said taking it all in with a slow spin.

  “Are you mocking my room?” Whitney asked setting down her bag on her desk chair.

  “Not at all, I mean the pink walls aren’t really my taste, but it’s cute,” Leif said while walking over to her oversized pink chair and picked up the sweatshirt she’d thrown in it this morning, tossing it on her bed before sitting down. She held her breath hoping he wouldn’t notice.

  “Wait a second,” he said picking the sweatshirt back up. He held it out and then lowered it to show Whitney an accusatory
look. “Is this my sweatshirt that Ivy let you borrow during homecoming?”

  “Ummmm,” Whitney started, “it looks like it might be. I haven’t seen that in months. I’m not sure how it got there.”

  “I kinda think you’re lying to me right now Ms. Volsum,” he said, showing off a grin exposing his dimple. “Either way though, I should probably take it back now that we’ve found it.”

  “It’s probably dirty,” Whitney said grabbing it from him and tossing it in her closet. “I’ll just wash it and get it back to you.”

  “Why would it be dirty if you haven’t seen it in months?” Leif took a step towards her.

  “You know, stale dirty.”

  “There isn’t any chance that you’ve been wearing it, maybe once in a random while, is there?” he asked, coming closer still.

  “No! I have my own sweatshirts. I don’t need to wear yours,” she said. He stood directly in front of her now. Her body pulsed with anticipation.

  “But it wasn’t weird when you did it during homecoming week?” he asked. She blushed remembering how horrified she had been.

  “I didn’t have anything and Ivy said I could borrow one of hers, I didn’t even know it was yours at first, and then I couldn’t take it off cause I was princess.” His proximity tightened her chest.

  “I’m inclined to believe you’re lying about this. I think you were secretly happy to wear my sweatshirt because you thought I was hot, and that you’ve been wearing it regularly since that date,” Leif said.

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” she said. Leif leaned in slowly and whispered in her ear. “I didn’t forget you had it and always wondered if maybe you were wearing it. I liked to think you were.” He kissed her on the cheek when he pulled away from her leaving her immobilized by thrill and lust like she’d never known before. This was bad, she knew that. She wanted him and he was a junior and she was a freshman and they weren’t even official and he was going to brake her heart. These thoughts filled her head as she watched him walk back over and plop into her chair sideways. He looked back at her; entertained with the effect he had on her. Whitney stared at him wishing every fiber of her body didn’t want him so badly, then she crossed the short space between them, giving in to the pull.

  “Are you going to make me charm you into coming over here and sitting with me?” Leif asked.

  “Charm me? You don’t have that much charm.”

  Leif shook his head at her with a grin plastered across his face, and in one swoop, reached over, grabbed her arm and pulled her into the chair on top of him.

  Whitney wanted to fight back, but her body refused. It moved instinctively towards the chair, sliding over him and snuggling in beside him. He put his legs on the ottoman with hers’ over his, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

  “I hate you,” Whitney said.

  “Something tells me you don’t mean that,” he said.

  “Yes I do!”

  Leif played with her hand, which he held in his own.

  “What’s up with you and Jesse?” Leif asked.

  “Nothing,” Whitney said.

  “You obviously know he’s in love with you.”

  “He’s not in LOVE with me, he just had a crush for a while. We’re just friends and he knows that,” Whitney said.

  “Mike told me Jesse was so mad when he found out about us that he didn’t talk to anyone and shut himself in his room all night. I think maybe he’s in love with you,” Leif said.

  “I don’t like him like that,” Whitney said.

  She was watching Leif’s fingers on hers, fighting back the guilt now rising within her.

  “Well, I sure hope not,” he said brushing his hand across her face.

  Butterflies filled Whitney’s stomach, “why is that?”

  Leif grinned at her exposing his dimple. “Cause I like you like that,” he said. Then he kissed her. His thin soft lips met hers for just a moment before he pulled them away. She could taste the stinging flavor of his chapstick, lingering on her lips. Before she could think straight his lips were back on hers, longer this time and tighter. He placed his hand on her cheek first. His thumb ran along her jawline and then she felt his fingers tangle into her long brown curls. She tried to remember to breathe, but it was hard. She could feel his tongue against her lip and then her teeth. She’d never been kissed like this, but she liked it. She loved it. She reached her hand up and grasped the back of his neck, pulling him in closer. His hand ran down her back slowly, leaving a path of scorched skin burning under her shirt as it moved. He pulled his hand to her bare arm above her elbow and he squeezed with passion. She breathed in his smell, so close, so completely enveloping her. She let her hand fall to his shoulder and rubbed her thumb across the worn tee he had on. His hand moved up her arm and his fingers grazed underneath the arm of her shirt. She kissed him harder, feeling his lips lock against hers again and again. He pushed up the arm of her shirt just slightly and his fingertips brushed gently over her shoulder making her shudder with thrill. He pulled his hand back to her head, pulled her tight kissing her with passion and then released, pulling away quickly. Whitney sat in a daze. Her hand still rested on his forearm, which lay across his lap. Her head was spinning; her skin prickled everywhere he had touched.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. Quietly. He pulled his arm from under her hand and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling a little further away from her. She immediately felt dirty, guilty, and iniquitous. She didn’t know what to say.

  He put his hand against her cheek and turned her to face him before removing it. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine,” Whitney said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why are you sorry?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said honestly. Now she felt dumb. “Why are you sorry?”

  “Because I shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do that.” He shook his head.

  “Why?” she asked fear replacing the thrill inside her.

  “Because I want this to go right. I don’t want to rush it, or pressure you or make you uncomfortable. Ever.” He had his hand on her arm again making her feel a little better.

  “It’s fine. I’m not uncomfortable,” Whitney said. Although she was, in an amazing way.

  “And I’m a mess Whit. You shouldn’t get wrapped up in me,” he said.

  “But I want to.”

  Leif shook his head and ran his hand back across her cheek.

  “Ugh, I should probably go home,” Leif said.

  “No!” Whitney protested. “What if we quit track and instead do this every afternoon for the rest of the year!”

  “That would end so poorly!” Leif said. “I only have so much self-control and it won’t last long with you. Plus, I have some records to break.”

  “Yeah, from that speech your dad gave, you’re destined to have a statue erected in your honor after this year.” Whitney said, only half joking.

  “He makes a bigger deal out of it then he should,” Leif said and Whitney felt him get tense beneath her. “He actually makes a bigger deal than he needs to out of nearly everything regarding me.”

  Whitney didn’t know what to say. The mention of his dad had dropped the temperature in the room at least ten degrees.

  “I did get second in state last year in the 200 high hurdles and second in the high jump, though. So I guess in track I may actually be the God he says I am,” Leif finally said, returning to his relaxed self.

  “Wow! Okay, well I’m not going to do track with you then. I’m bad. You’ll be embarrassed to be with me,” Whitney said.

  “Never!” he said leaning over and kissing her on the tip of her nose. “Okay sunshine, I’m afraid I must go.”

  Whitney smiled at the use of a nickname. It had been on the list of movie-like things she wanted her future boyfriend to do and now it was real. She stood up releasing him from underneath her. He grabbed his stuff and walked back over to where she stood near t
he door. He leaned over just slightly to kiss her. She leaned into it and refused to let him pull away too quickly. She was getting used to this kissing thing.

  “You are dangerously good at that,” he said shaking his head as he followed her downstairs.

  Whitney followed him out to his car and demanded one more kiss before he left, which he gladly gave. After he left she sat on the porch swing and thought about Leif. She liked him. She liked him a lot. The thought scared her, but it electrified her even more.

  ◆◆◆

  The week slid downhill as the reality of dating the king of track sunk in. On Tuesday there was a repeat of Monday, with Leif stopping them again. Whitney was actually glad he did because she didn’t think she would. Wednesday he dropped her off but said he couldn’t stay. She wondered if he was being honest about having to help with dinner, or if he didn’t trust himself enough to stop them again. She kind of hoped it was the later. On Thursday he told her he’d have to stay late and when she offered to stay he urged her not to. By Friday Whitney was feeling fully disconnected and waited after her workout to talk to Leif. She didn’t want to go into the weekend without talking to him and he’d been spotty about his texting recently, but eventually gave up and did just that.

  Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you at practice. Can I see you tomorrow? Leif finally text around 10:30.

  I’m free, Whitney said.

  Good. I’ll text you in the morning. Night.

  Night, Whitney text smiling at the screen.

  Whitney woke late on Saturday morning to find she already had a text from Leif. She smiled as she opened it only to be washed with disappointment.

  My dad is making me work today and apparently we’re having a family night tonight so I can’t do anything today. I’m really sorry. I really wanted to see you.

  Whitney struggled over a response. She was mad, she was sad, she was frustrated, she was disappointed, but she didn’t want to say any of that.

  That’s fine. I should study for finals anyways. See you Monday.

  She didn’t get a response. She needed out. She needed friends. She needed ice cream.