Count Bunker

by J. Storer Clouston

  CHAPTER XXII

  In the eye of the heiress, as in her father's, might be noted a shade ofsurprise at finding two gentlemen instead of one. But though the Countinstantly perceived his superfluity, and though it had been his greatestambition throughout his life to add no shade to the dullness with whichhe frequently complained that life was overburdened, yet his sense ofobligation to his friend was so strong that he preferred to bore ratherthan desert. As the only compensation he could offer, he assumed themost retiring look of which his mobile features were capable, andpretended to examine one of the tables of curios.

  "Lord Tulliwuddle, I congratulate you on the very happy impression youhave made!" began Eleanor with the most delightful frankness.

  But his lordship had learned to fear the Americans, even bearingcompliments.

  "So?" he answered stolidly.

  "Indeed you have! Ri is just wild about your cleverness."

  "Zat is kind of him."

  "He declares you are quite an authority on European politics. Now youwill be able to tell me----"

  "Ach, no! I shall not to-day, please!" interrupted the Baron hurriedly.

  The heiress seemed disconcerted.

  "Oh, not if you'd rather not, Lord Tulliwuddle."

  "Not to-day."

  "Well!"

  She turned with a shrug and cast her eyes upon the wall.

  "How do you like this picture? It's my latest toy. I call it justsweet!"

  He cautiously examined the painting.

  "It is vary pretty."

  "Do you know Romney's work?"

  The Baron shrank back.

  "Not again to-day, please!"

  Miss Maddison opened her handsome eyes to their widest.

  "My word!" she cried. "If these are Highland manners, Lord Tulliwuddle!"

  In extreme confusion the Baron stammered--

  "I beg your pardon! Forgif me--but--ach, not zose questions, please!"

  Relenting a little, she inquired

  "What may I ask you, then? Do tell me! You see I want just to know allabout you."

  With an affrighted gesture the Baron turned to his friend.

  "Bonker," said he, "she does vant to know yet more about me! Vill youplease to tell her."

  The Count looked up from the curios with an expression so bland that theair began to clear even before he spoke.

  "Miss Maddison, I must explain that my friend's proud Highland spirithas been a little disturbed by some inquiries, made in all good faithby your father. No offence, I am certain, was intended; erroneousinformation--a little hastiness in jumping to conclusions--a sensitivenature wounded by the least insinuation--such were the unfortunatecauses of Tulliwuddle's excusable reticence. Believe me, if you knewall, your opinion of him would alter very, very considerably!"

  The perfectly accurate peroration to this statement produced animmediate effect.

  "What a shame!" cried Eleanor, her eyes sparkling brightly. "LordTulliwuddle, I am so sorry!"

  The Baron looked into these eyes, and his own mien altered perceptibly.For an instant he gazed, and then in a low voice remarked--

  "By ze Gad!"

  "Once!" counted the conscientious Bunker.

  "Lord Tulliwuddle," she continued, "I declare I feel so ashamed of thosestupid men, I could just wring their necks! Now, just to make us quits,you ask me anything in the world you like!"

  Over his shoulder the Baron threw a stealthy glance at his friend, butthis time he did not invoke his assistance. Instead, he again murmuredvery distinctly--

  "By ze Gad!"

  "Twice!" counted Bunker.

  "Miss Maddison," said the Baron to the flushed and eager girl, "am Ito onderstand zat you now are satisfied zat I am not too vicked, toosuspeecious, too unvorthy of your charming society? I do not say I amyet vorthy--bot jost not too bad!"

  Had the Baroness at that moment heard merely the intonation of hisvoice, she would undoubtedly have preferred a Chinese prison.

  "Indeed, Lord Tulliwuddle, you may."

  "By ze Gad!" announced the Baron, in a voice braced with resolution.

  "May I take the liberty of inspecting the aviary?" said the Count.

  "With the very greatest pleasure," replied the heiress kindly.

  His last distinct impression as he withdrew was of the Baron giving hismustache a more formidable twirl.

  "A very pretty little scene," he reflected, as he strolled out in searchof others. "Though, hang me, I'm not sure if it ended in the right manleaving the stage!"

  This "second-fiddle feeling," as he styled it humorously to himself,was further increased by the demeanor of Miss Gallosh, to whom he nowendeavored to make himself agreeable. Though sharing the universalrespect felt for the character and talents of the Count, she wasevidently too perturbed at seeing him appear alone to appreciate hissociety as it deserved. Ever since luncheon poor Eva's heart had beensinking. The beauty, the assurance, the cleverness, and the charm of thefabulously wealthy American heiress had filled her with vague misgivingseven while the gentlemen were safely absent; but when Miss Maddison wassummoned away, and her father and brother took her place, her uneasinessvastly increased. Now here was the last buffer removed between thechieftain and her audacious rival (so she already counted her). Whatdrama could these mysterious movements have been leading to?

  In vain did Count Bunker exercise his unique powers of conversation.In vain did he discourse on the beauties of nature as displayed inthe wooded valley and the towering hills, and the beauties of art asexhibited in the aviary and the new fir forest. Eva's thoughts weretoo much engrossed with the beauties of woman, and their dreadfulconsequences if improperly used.

  "Is--is Miss Maddison still in the house?" she inquired, with an effortto put the question carelessly.

  "I believe so," said the Count in his kindest voice.

  "And--and--that isn't Lord Tulliwuddle with my father, is it?"

  "I believe not," said the Count, still more sympathetically.

  She could no longer withhold a sigh, and the Count tactfully turnedthe conversation to the symbolical eagle arrived that morning from Mr.Maddison's native State.

  They had passed from the aviary to the flower garden, when at last theysaw the Baron and Eleanor appear. She joined the rest of the party,while he, walking thoughtfully in search of his friend, advancedin their direction. He raised his eyes, and then, to complete Eva'sconcern, he started in evident embarrassment at discovering her therealso. To do him justice, he quickly recovered his usual politeness. Yetshe noticed that he detained the Count beside him and showed a curioustendency to discourse solely on the fine quality of the gravel and theadvantages of having a brick facing to a garden wall.

  "My lord," said Mr. Gallosh, approaching them, "would you be thinking ofgoing soon? I've noticed Mr. Maddison's been taking out his watch verrafrequently."

  "Certainly, certainly!" cried my lord. "Oh, ve have finished all ve havecome for."

  Eva started, and even Mr. Gallosh looked a trifle perturbed.

  "Yes," added the Count quickly, "we have a very good idea of the heatingsystem employed. I quite agree with you: we can leave the rest to yourengineer."

  But even his readiness failed to efface the effects of his friend'sunfortunate admission.

  Farewells were said, the procession reformed, the pipers struck up, andamidst the heartiest expressions of pleasure from all, the chieftainand his friends marched off to the spot where (out of sight of LincolnLodge) the forethought of their manager had arranged that the carriagesshould be waiting.

  "Well," said Bunker, when they found themselves in their room again,"what do you think of Miss Maddison?"

  The Baron lit a cigar, gazed thoughtfully and with evident satisfactionat the daily deepening shade of tan upon his knees, and then answeredslowly--

  "Vell, Bonker, she is not so bad."

  "Ah," commented Bunker.

  "Bot, Bonker, it is not vat I do think of her. Ach, no! It is not formein own pleasure. Ach, nein! How shal
l I do my duty to Tollyvoddle? Zatis vat I ask myself."

  "And what answer do you generally return?"

  "Ze answer I make is," said the Baron gravely and with the deliberationthe point deserved--"Ze answer is zat I shall vait and gonsider vichlady is ze best for him."

  "The means you employ will no doubt include a further short personalinterview with each of them?"

  "Vun short! Ach, Bonker, I most investigate mit carefulness. No, no; Imost see zem more zan zat."

  "How long do you expect the process will take you?"

  For the first time the Baron noticed with surprise a shade of impatiencein his friend's voice.

  "Are you in a horry, Bonker?"

  "My dear Baron, I grudge no man his sport--particularly if he is carefulto label it his duty. But, to tell the truth, I have never playedgamekeeper for so long before, and I begin to find that picking up yourvictims and carrying them after you in a bag is less exhilarating to-daythan it was a week ago. I wouldn't curtail your pleasure for the world,my dear fellow! But I do ask you to remember the poor keeper."

  "My dear friend," said the Baron cordially, "I shall remember! It shalltake bot two or tree days to do my duty. I shall not be long."

  "A day or two of sober duty, Then, Hoch! for London, home, and beauty!"

  trolled the Count pleasantly.

  The Baron did not echo the "Hoch"; but after retaining his thoughtfulexpression for a few moments, a smile stole over his face, and heremarked in an absent voice--

  "Vun does not alvays need to go home to find beauty."

  "Yes," said the Count, "I have always held it to be one of theadvantages of travel that one learns to tolerate the inhabitants ofother lands."