Count Bunker

by J. Storer Clouston

  CHAPTER XXIII

  "Ach, you are onfair," exclaimed the Baron. "Really?" said Eva, with asarcastic intonation he had not believed possible in so sweet a voice.

  It was the day following the luncheon at Lincoln Lodge, and they wereonce more seated in the shady arbor: this time the Count had guaranteednot only to leave them uninterrupted by his own presence, but to protectthe garden from all other intruders. Everything, in fact, had presagedthe pleasantest of tete-a-tetes. But, alas! the Baron was learning thatif Amaryllis pouts, the shadiest corner may prove too warm. Why, he wasasking himself, should she exhibit this incomprehensible annoyance? Whathad he done? How to awake her smiles again?

  "I do not forget my old friends so quickly," he protested. "No, I doassure you! I do not onderstand vy you should say so."

  "Oh, we don't profess to be old FRIENDS, Lord Tulliwuddle! After all,there is no reason why you shouldn't turn your back on us as soon as yousee a newer--and more amusing--ACQUAINTANCE."

  "But I have not turned my back!"

  "We saw nothing else all yesterday."

  "Ah, Mees Gallosh, zat is not true! Often did I look at you!"

  "Did you? I had forgotten. One doesn't treasure every glance, you know."

  The Baron tugged at his mustache and frowned.

  "She vill not do for Tollyvoddle," he said to himself.

  But the next instant a glance from Eva's brilliant eyes--a glanceso reproachful, so appealing, and so stimulating, that there was noresisting it--diverted his reflections into quite another channel.

  "Vat can I do to prove zat I am so friendly as ever?" he exclaimed.

  "So FRIENDLY?" she repeated, with an innocently meditative air.

  "So vary parteecularly friendly!"

  Her air relented a little--just enough, in fact, to make him ardentlydesire to see it relent still further.

  "You promise things to me, and then do them for other people's benefit."

  The Baron eagerly demanded a fuller statement of this abominable charge.

  "Well," she said, "you told me twenty times you would show me somethingreally Highland--that you'd kill a deer by torchlight, or hold agathering of the clans upon the castle lawn. All sorts of things youoffered to do for me, and the only thing you have done has been for thesake of your NEW friends! You gave THEM a procession and a dance."

  "But you did see it too!" he interrupted eagerly.

  "As part of your procession," she retorted scornfully. "We felt muchobliged to you--especially as you were so attentive to us afterwards!"

  "I did not mean to leave you," exclaimed the Baron weakly. "It was jostzat Miss Maddison----"

  "I am not interested in Miss Maddison. No doubt she is very charming;but, really, she doesn't interest me at all. You were unavoidablyprevented from talking to us--that is quite sufficient for me. I excuseyou, Lord Tulliwuddle. Only, please, don't make me any more promises."

  "Eva! Ach, I most say 'Eva' jost vunce more! I am going to leave mycastle, to leave you, and say good-by."

  She started and looked quickly at him.

  "Bot before I go I shall keep my promise! Ve shall have ze pipers, andze kilts, and ze dancing, and toss ze caber, and fling ze hammer, and itshall be on ze castle lawn, and all for your sake! Vill you not forgiveme and be friends?"

  "Will it really be all for my sake?"

  She spoke incredulously, yet looked as if she were willing to beconvinced.

  "I swear it vill!"

  The latter part of this interview was so much more agreeable than thebeginning that when the distant rumble of the luncheon gong broughtit to an end at last they sighed, and for fully half a minute lingeredstill in silence. If one may dare to express in crude language amaiden's unspoken, formless thought, Eva's might be read--"There is yeta moment left for him to say the three short words that seem to hangupon his tongue!" While on his part he was reflecting that he hadanother duologue arranged for that very afternoon, and that, forthe simultaneous suitor of two ladies, an open mind was almostindispensable.

  "Then you are going for a drive with the Count Bunker this afternoon?"she asked, as they strolled slowly towards the house.

  "For a leetle tour in my estate," he answered easily.

  "On business, I suppose?"

  "Yes, vorse luck!"

  He knew not whether to feel more relieved or embarrassed to find that heevidently rose in her estimation as a conscientious landlord.

  . . . . . .

  "You are having a capital day's sport, Baron," said the Count gaily, asthey drew near Lincoln Lodge.

  During their drive the Baron had remained unusually silent. He nowroused himself and said in a guarded whisper--

  "Bonker, vill you please to give ze coachman some money not to say jostvere he did drive us."

  "I have done so," smiled the Count.

  His friend gratefully grasped his hand and curled his mustache with anemboldened air.

  A similar display of address on the part of Count Bunker resulted in theBaron's finding himself some ten minutes later alone with Miss Maddisonin her sanctuary. But, to his great surprise, he was greeted with noneof the encouraging cordiality that had so charmed him yesterday. Thelady was brief in her responses, critical in her tone, and evidentlydisposed to quarrel with her admirer on some ground at presententirely mysterious. Indeed, so discouraging was she that at length heexclaimed--

  "Tell me, Miss Maddison--I should not have gom to-day? You did not vishto see me. Eh?"

  "I certainly was perfectly comfortable without you, Lord Tulliwuddle,"said the heiress tartly.

  "Shall I go avay?"

  "You have come here entirely for your own pleasure; and the moment youbegin to feel tired there is nothing to hinder you going home again."

  "You vere more kind to me yesterday," said the Baron sadly.

  "I did not learn till after you had gone how much I was to blame forkeeping you so long away from your friends. Please do not think I shallrepeat the offence."

  There was an accent on the word "friends" that enlightened thebewildered nobleman, even though quickness in taking a hint was not hismost conspicuous attribute. That the voice of gossip had reached thefair American was only too evident; but though considerably annoyed, hecould not help feeling at the same time flattered to see the concern hewas able to inspire.

  "My friends!" said he with amorous artfulness.

  "Do you mean Count Bunker? He is ze only FRIEND I have here mit me."

  "The ONLY friend? Indeed!"

  "Zat is since I see you vill not treat me as soch."

  Upon these lines a pretty little passage-of-arms ensued, the Baronemploying with considerable effect the various blandishments of whichhe was admitted a past master; the heiress modifying her resentment bydegrees under their insidious influence. Still she would not entirelyquit her troublesome position, till at last a happy inspiration came toreinforce his assaults. Why, he reflected, should an entertainment thatwould require a considerable outlay of money and trouble serve to winthe affections of only one girl? With the same expenditure of ammunitionit might be possible to double the bag.

  "Miss Maddison," he said with a regretful air, "I did come here to-dayin ze hope----But ach!"

  So happily had he succeeded in whetting her curiosity that shebegged--nay, insisted--that he should finish his sentence.

  "If you had been kind I did hope zat you vould allow me to give in yourhonor an entertainment at my castle."

  "An entertainment!" she cried, with a marked increase of interest.

  "Jost a leetle EXPOSITION of ze Highland sport, mit bagpipes and caberand so forth; unvorthy of your notice perhaps, bot ze best I can do."

  Eleanor clapped her hands enthusiastically.

  "I should just love it!"

  The triumphant diplomatist smiled complacently.

  "Bonker vill arrange it all nicely," he said to himself.

  And there rose in his fancy such a pleasing and gorgeous picture ofhimself in the panoply of the North, hurling a
hammer skywards amidstthe plaudits of his clan and the ravished murmurs of the ladies, thathe could not but congratulate himself upon this last master-stroke ofpolicy. For if instead of ladies there were only one lady, exactlyhalf the pleasure would be lacking. So generous were this nobleman'sinstincts!

  During their drive to Lincoln Lodge the Baron had hesitated to broachhis new project to his friend for the very reason that, after the glowof his first enthusiastic proposal to Eva was over, it seemed to him avast undertaking for a limited object; but driving home he lost no timein confiding his scheme to the Count.

  "The deuce!" cried Bunker. "That will mean three more days here atleast!"

  "Vat is tree days, mine Bonker?"

  "My dear Baron, I am the last man in the world to drop an unpleasanthint; yet I can't help thinking we have been so unconscionably lucky uptill now that it would be wise to retire before an accident befalls us."

  "Vat kind of accident?"

  "The kind that may happen to the best regulated adventurer."

  The Baron pondered. When Bunker suggested caution it indeed seemed timeto beat a retreat; yet--those two charming ladies, and that alluringtartan tableau!

  "Ach, let ze devil take ze man zat is afraid!" he exclaimed at last."Bonker, it vill be soch fun!"

  "Watching you complete two conquests?"

  "Be not impatient, good Bonker!"

  "My dear fellow, if you could find me one girl--even one would contentme--who would condescend to turn her eyes from the dazzling spectacle ofBaron Tulliwuddle, and cast them for so much as half an hour a day uponhis obscure companion, I might see some fun in it too."

  The Baron, with an air of patronizing kindness that made hisfellow-adventurer's lot none the easier to bear, answered reassuringly--

  "Bot I shall leave all ze preparations to be made by you; you vill nothave time zen to feel lonely."

  "Thank you, Baron; you have the knack of conferring the most princelyfavors."

  "Ach, I am used to do so," said the Baron simply, and then burst outeagerly, "Some feat you must design for me at ze sports so zat I canshow zem my strength, eh?"

  "With the caber, for instance?"

  The Baron had seen the caber tossed, and he shook his head.

  "He is too big."

  "I might fit a strong spring in one end."

  But the Baron still seemed disinclined. His friend reflected, and thensuddenly exclaimed--

  "The village doctor keeps some chemical apparatus, I believe! You'llthrow the hammer, Baron. I can manage it."

  The Baron appeared mystified by the juxtaposition of ideas, but serenelyexpressed himself as ready to entrust this and all other arrangementsfor the Hechnahoul Gathering to the ingenious Count, as some smallcompensation for so conspicuously outshining him.