by Abigail Agar
Emma could not believe what Amelia was saying. Had she really insinuated that Emma was willing to compromise her virtue like that? There were different accusations that could be made against her, but this was one that cut her to the core. She could hardly believe that Amelia was taking it so far as to think anything of the sort.
“You may leave my home now,” Emma said in a stern, steady voice.
“You expect me to leave? I have only just arrived. I have only just arrived and we still have a great deal that needs to be discussed, do you not think? I have barely begun all that I wish to say to you,” Amelia said.
Emma tried to take in a breath, but she was deeply disappointed in Amelia.
“I am sorry that you are bothered by my having seen him in the road. I do not know what more you want me to say. There was nothing else that happened,” Emma said.
Amelia’s eyes softened and Emma could see that she was feeling guilty for having behaved in such a gruff manner. It was clear that Amelia had been instigated by her mother to behave this way, to have such a fury. And Emma had long since known that Liza Lockhart was the sort who would do this.
But Amelia was clearly ashamed of her rudeness. Emma couldn’t help but wonder if she would act upon that shame or if she would justify it and continue her tirade.
“I-I am sorry for causing so much trouble for you,” Amelia finally said.
Emma did not wish to appear smug, but she was delighted that Amelia had acknowledged her mistake. The last thing that she had deserved was this.
Yes, she knew that she had made a mistake in seeing the earl previously, but she had made the right decision that night. She had done the right thing to ensure that she had not betrayed Amelia. And although she had not yet confessed the previous dinner, she felt that there was no reason to when this was all the trouble that it would get her.
“I am hurt that you spoke with him, Emma. I know that my anger and the emotions that I feel may appear unjustified to you, but they are very real to me,” Amelia said.
“Yes, I can see that. I know that you are hurt and angry and I understand. You have been through a lot, all because of his father. But you are not the sort of woman that you would be if you would let go of all of this hatred that you feel,” Emma told her, wishing that Amelia would listen and concede to the fact that she was growing a sickness inside her heart.
“I know that he is a decent man. I know that he is not his father…my father. But I cannot simply let go of all of this. Surely, you must know that what my father did will not be easily forgotten. My mother is still hurting, as am I. We should not have to suffer like this, Emma,” Amelia said.
Emma shook her head.
“It’s not good enough, Amelia. This is not good enough. You are better than this and I will not settle for your excuses because I know that you could be happier if you would allow yourself,” Emma said.
“Well, you ought to know that this isn’t the end of it,” Amelia said, looking away.
Emma had a pain in her chest, a terrible fear that there was something far, far worse at hand.
“Oh? And what is next?” she asked.
“It is my mother…” Amelia said.
“What of your mother? What has she decided to do now in order to punish a man who has died and is no longer on this earth to be punished?” Emma asked, pointing out the very real fact of the irrationality.
“She has decided to use this against the earl as well. She has leaked to the scandal sheets that the earl is following in his father’s footsteps. He has been seen fraternising with a young woman of inferior birth,” Amelia said unable to make eye contact with Emma.
Emma stood, frozen. A cold pricked at her skin as she realised what Amelia was saying.
“You mean me. Your mother has decided that I am fodder to be used in her campaign to destroy the Earl of Thornbury,” Emma said.
“No! Nothing like that,” Amelia insisted.
“Then what?” Emma asked.
“She-she just wanted to let them know that he is behaving as his father did. You will not be affected,” Amelia said.
But Emma could not believe it. She knew what happened in the scandal sheets. She was no fool and she understood that she would be impacted by this. There was no way that it would not touch her.
“Amelia, your mother had no right to do that. You need to get off your high horse. In trying to bring him down, you have brought me down. I am innocent, but you are defaming me,” Emma said.
“That was never our intention. You will be fine,” Amelia said, sounding rather naive.
Emma knew that it was not going to be so easy as that. If any whiff of her name had been mentioned, it would be all over the scandal sheets and everyone in Finchley and in London would believe that she was guilty of an immoral liaison with the Earl of Thornbury.
“Not only may I do as I choose, Amelia, but in that moment that your mother saw, nothing at all occurred between myself and the earl. I went straight home upon the brief interaction. There was nothing more,” Emma said, her voice retaining that angry calm that let Amelia know there was not peace between them.
“I-I –” Amelia said, trying to search for her words.
“No. You do not need to say anything else. You need to return to your home. You need to tell your mother that she is making a terrible mistake and that I will not be her fodder for a good story and an attempt at getting back at a dead man. You need to leave my home at once,” Emma said.
Amelia looked at her and bit her lip with uncertainty.
“I said to leave,” Emma repeated.
Amelia was evidently torn. She wanted justice for her mother, but she understood that they had hurt Emma far too greatly. It was clear that Amelia knew this, that she was hesitant and did not know what to do now.
But Emma had no desire to give her any leeway or any mercy. Not until she had the certainty that her name was going to remain untouched by all of this.
As Amelia exited the door, Emma sat down and took in a sharp breath.
What would her mother and father say if things did not settle? What would they think of her if all of this came out and she ended up in grave trouble? Would they ever trust her again? Would they believe that their daughter had taken part in something improper?
She loved her parents, but she knew how important her reputation was to them. If they believed that she had done something that made their family look ill-bred, or as though they did not have strict morals, they would be furious with her.
She should not have gone to dinner with the Earl of Thornbury, that much she knew. Although she had liked him a great deal, and although she had enjoyed her time with him, Emma recognised that she had put herself in a dangerous position.
If anyone questioned her about the interaction in the scandal sheets, it might come out that she had, indeed, interacted with the earl on another occasion. And if anyone learned that they had gone to dinner together, she would be in a worse state than she was in now.
Emma tried to calm herself, taking a drink of water and finding her bed, lying back and closing her eyes. Her head began to pulse with pain and she didn’t want to have to deal with a headache in addition to the frustration of her encounter with Amelia.
It was as though nothing was going right for her anymore. She was constantly in a state of anxiety with all that had happened and she was still unable to deny her feelings for the earl in the midst of it all.
What was it about him that caused her to think so well of him? Was it his thoughtfulness? His courage? The fact that he had a great deal more integrity than she had imagined?
Emma tried to sleep, but she was plagued by these thoughts, unable to escape them.
She heard the sound of the door open and knew that her mother and father had arrived home.
“Emma, we’re back,” her mother called.
Emma sat up and took a deep breath before going out to face them.
“Good evening,” she said with a false cheer, once she had entered the
living area where they were now sitting.
“How was your day?” her mother asked.
“Very well, Mother. And yours? I see that you have very little bread with you,” Emma observed.
“Yes, I managed to sell quite a bit,” her mother said with enthusiasm.
“I am glad of that. You do make the best there is,” Emma said.
“She does,” her father agreed, appearing proud.
“And you, Father? How was your day?” she asked.
“As fine as could be. I am glad that things are going better for us these days. Looking up, as they say. Before you know it, the Sprouls will be on the up,” he said.
Emma smiled, but she felt it falter. Things were going well for their family and her parents had clearly had success that day.
But what if she was about to destroy all of that? What if everything fell apart because of her? Would they ever forgive her?
Would she ever forgive herself?
Chapter 17
“Have you seen this?” Reginald asked, laying the paper in front of Eric.
He picked it up and looked through, seeing that it was the scandal sheet. He was anxious, assuming that he was somehow in there, based on the fact that Reginald was so irritated.
And then he saw it. Right there, in the midst of it all.
The Sixth Earl of Thornbury. Spotted fraternising with a young lady in the midst of the scandal which has broken regarding his father having done the very same thing. It would appear that the new earl has learned nothing and has chosen to follow in those footsteps, behaving improperly and finding a vulnerable woman of inferior birth with whom he is able to have a secret affair.
The bachelor and nobleman is apparently undaunted by the fact that this could gravely harm his reputation. That or, perhaps, he believed that it would remain a secret long enough to be forgotten entirely, as his father’s was until two weeks ago when the news first broke about his illegitimate daughter.
Eric stood without movement for a time, his eyes taking in the insults and accusations. There was nothing that he could say to refute it. He knew that he was innocent, but who was going to believe him now?
There was far too much a stake. He didn’t know what to say or do and Eric finally just allowed himself to sink into a chair and let the paper hang from his hand.
“I told you this would happen,” Reginald reminded him.
“Please, do not be annoying about it,” Eric said, acknowledging that this was not going as he might have hoped.
“But I need you to listen to me. I know that it hurts and I know that it is difficult to let it go, but this is going to ruin you,” Reginald said.
“It will not ruin me, not really. I only need to figure out a way of getting the truth out there,” Eric said.
“You don’t think that Miss Sproul had anything to do with this?” Reginald asked him, the very question that Eric had been trying to ignore in the back of his own thoughts.
“Of course she didn’t. She is a perfectly fine woman. What do you think she had to do with it?” he asked.
“It makes sense. She could be taking advantage of the fact that you are interested in her. Who knows?” Reginald said.
Eric nodded, admitting defeat.
He could hardly believe all of this. What had he done to deserve it? All that had happened was the fact that he wanted to know his sister, he wanted to be a part of her life. He had not deserved anything so cruel and unpleasant.
He would find out the truth. If Miss Sproul was behind all of this, he would be shocked. But Reginald appeared convinced. He clearly thought that she was guilty and had been the one to make this happen.
“You are probably right,” he said, feeling like a fool.
Reginald shook his head.
“You were not supposed to say that,” he said.
Eric looked up at him, confused.
“What do you mean? I was agreeing with you. It makes sense, what you said. I was probably fooled by her,” he replied.
“Eric, you are not meant to think those things. I could see that you were bothered, I offered a possible explanation that is really quite dreadful, and I had hoped that you would refute it, denying that it was even possible,” Reginald said.
“Well, that is incredibly confusing. You ought not to have tried to trick me like that,” Eric said.
“Maybe not, but I wanted you to face the suspicions that you have. I only wish that you had proven me wrong. Listen, think about it. More than likely, Miss Sproul told your sister about the dinner that the two of you had. It is clear that she likes you. Why are you suspicious of anything different?” Reginald asked.
Eric started to think about it. Maybe Reginald was right.
“So you think that she told Amelia and now Amelia and her mother are the ones turning this into something more than it is?” he asked.
“It is reasonable enough in my mind. I mean, I know that there are reasons to suspect Miss Sproul, but why do it? She is a kind young woman and you clearly like her. It is obvious that she feels the same. I cannot think it is wise to believe that she has done anything against you,” Reginald said.
“You think it is obvious that she likes me?” Eric asked.
“Of course. She is always looking at you with those large eyes of hers, admiring you. She hesitates with it, of course. I can sense that she doesn’t wish to be caught looking at you. But she looks at you anyway,” he said.
Eric’s heart warmed and he was moved by the thought. Was it really possible? Could she actually like him as much as he liked her?
Whatever the truth, he still felt like a fool.
“My mother,” he said.
“Yes, it is going to be very difficult for her. You will need to write to her, to warn her about all that has happened,” Reginald suggested.
Eric agreed. Once Reginald left the room that evening, he sat down to write a letter to his mother, warning her about the continued lies that would be attacking their family on top of the scandal about his father. He hoped that she would be all right and that she would understand that none of it was true.
But Eric also knew that the scandal sheets were excellent at twisting things and there was no telling whether or not they would continue to come under these attacks.
He only hoped that the truth would win the day.
***
Eric opened the door to take the letter that had been brought for him the following day. It was a reply from his mother.
Dearest Eric,
I fear that your letter did not give me nearly enough information for the incident at hand. All you said was that there were lies being shared about our family and about you. Please tell me more of what you mean, because all that I have read in the scandal sheets is quite damaging for us.
Why did you have to get involved with this young woman? What were you thinking? Was there any reason that you could not simply leave her alone?
Honestly, I thought that you had a better head on your shoulders than all of this. It was terribly unwise of you to go around, getting to know this young lady, making her a part of your life. Have you learned nothing from your father?
