by Leil Lowndes
Most important, you are also paving the way for your Quarry to tell his favorite story. In typical male fashion, he'll want to play "I can top that."
As you tell your Quarry this or your own sexual adventure, watch his reactions. He will probably look at you in a new light. He will say to himself, "Hey, this woman has an exciting imagination. She's open to adventure!" Not every man wants a sexually experienced woman, but practically every man wants a woman who is turned on by new sexual experiences, especially with him.
As you finish your adventure story, be prepared to handle various reactions. For instance, your Quarry may be wide-eyed and ask if you would like to be raped (or whatever happened
Page 279
to your heroine). "No, not exactly," you can laugh.
Then wink and ask, "Any other suggestions?" You have now paved the way for him to feel comfortable sharing his deepest sexual desires. You may come up with nothing, or you may unearth the key to his heart.
But now be prepared to hear some of the most common male fantasies coming from his lips.
What are the most common secret male fantasies?
Fantasies of having sex with two women, seeing two women make love to each other, watching other couples make love, seeing a woman
masturbate, having the woman take charge and give him sexual commands, domina ting a woman . . . the list goes on. The list also gets increasingly more far-out and esoteric.
If there are any secret marbles in your Quarry's little bag, he will now spill them out into your lap, thrilled that he is with such a free-spirited woman.
TECHNIQUE #77 (FOR HUNTRESSES):
WHAT TURNS YOU ON?
Huntresses, purr mysteriously about how you like imaginative sex. Tell him a story like Alicia's, then, with a mischievous little grin on your face, ask him,
"What turns youon?"
His answer could be the golden egg guaranteed to get his goose . . . and get him to fall in love with you.
The Hot Purr Follow-Up
Huntresses, your work isn't over yet—far from it.Whatever his answer, feign excitement. Put a twinkle in your eye and say, "Oh, really?" Then maybe bite your lip a little, trying to suppress your thrill, and croon, "Tell me more." Punctuate his monologue with appropriate ooh's and aah's, and sexy smiles. Your goal is to get him to continue talking about whatever turns him on.
Page 280
A few warnings. It is crucial, as he is sharing these intimacies with you, that you don't let one minuscule judgmental frown flicker across your brow. Most women are smart enough when they see their lover's penis for the first time, to know they should look impressed. Well, when a man is sharing his fantasies with you, he is baring his mental private parts. He is sensitive to your every expression. One disapproving look, and he zips his lips on this subject, maybe forever.
TECHNIQUE #78 (FOR HUNTRESSES):
THE HOT PURR RESPONSE
How should you respond when you get your Quarry talking about sex?
An approving moan, a hot purr, and perhaps a naughty smile punctuated by a little licking of your lips is what X-rated Miss Manners suggests.
Do All Men Have a Sexual Secret?
Get ready for a pretty surprising statistic. Therapists report that about 90 percent of men have a secret desire they've never shared with their wives or significant others. ThNeew York Times reported in a headline that "Much Is Found Perverse.5"3 We'll get to that subject later, but for the moment let's talk about the most common male fantasy secrets.
What kind of secrets do men harbor? Nothing outrageous, nothing shocking. But something that they fear their mothers would tell them they're dirty for thinking—like the six most prevalent secret male fantasies listed earlier in this book.
Incidentally, theWhat Turns You On technique is a splendid method for finding out if you two are going to be sexually compatible in the long run. Some men have sexual habits and proclivities that are a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live with them.
Suppose you're sitting across the restaurant table with the
Page 281
reflection of candlelight in the beautiful wineglass flickering off your expectant, smiling face. You've asked your Quarry, "What turns you on?" He starts telling you some bizarre activity you could never accept. What should you do? Scream? Grab your bag and run? Say, "Ugh, that's disgusting!" or "What a sicko you are!''?
No. Listen anyway. React as though what he's saying is exciting. Run to the ladies' room and gag later if it's something you find really distasteful, but now is not the time to show your disgust. You've led your Quarry this far down the garden path, and it 's not fair to kick sand in his face.
Incidentally, you must never share your man's secret with anyone else, not even your best friend. You have tricked him into telling you, and now you must play fair. Chances are your Quarry's secret
will be something very ordinary, but if you want him to fa ll in love with you, it's up to you to make him think you find his very ordinary desires extraordinarily exciting.
Ask Knock-His-Socks-Off Details Questions Now is the time to pretend you're in Political Science Filibuster class. This is your final exam on how long you can keep a monologue (his) going. Ask your Quarry every conceivable question about his fantasy.
At first he may be taken a little aback by your friendly interrogation. Within moments, I promise you, he'll get into the swing of things and be thrilled with your line of questioning.
The number one most rampant secret male fantasy is wanting to be in bed with two women, or watching two women make love to each other. Let's say you've just used theWhat Turns You On and Hot Purr Response techniques with your Quarry. Fantasizing two women together was his big confession.
You: "Hmmm. [You purr.] That's exciting. What do the two women look like?" He answers. You:
"Really? [You get a twinkle in your eye.] Ooh. Do they have any clothes on?" He answers.
Page 282
You: "Wow. [Flash him a cute, mischievous, naughty smile.] Is one of them seducing the other, or are they both into it?" He answers.
You: "Umm, I like that. [Sincere curiosity.] Is this the first time they've ever made it with another woman?"
He answers.
You: "Do they have names in your fantasy." If they do, start using their names. You: "Umm. [Lick your lips.] Where do Barb and Di kiss each other?" He answers.
You: "Ooh! [You're really into it now.] Are Barb and Di lesbians, or did they just find each other irresistible?"
And so it goes, and so your Quarry's excitement grows. By now, if you're having this conversation over dinner, the table could start levitating due to his growing erection. All right, Huntresses, I exaggerate, but keep the questions coming and you will enj oy the new way your Quarry looks at
you. No matter how exciting he thought you were before, you are now becoming much more thrilling to him.
Don't take it personally and feel neglected because your Quarry is talking about Barb and Di, or whoever is in his fantasy, instead of you. Believe me, his appreciation of your open-minded attitude will soon turn his thoughts to you.
TECHNIQUE #79:
THE X-RATED INTERVIEW
As he's telling you what really turns him on, keep your Quarry talking, and talking, and talking.
Pretend you're a TV hostess interviewing a movie star on his latest film. Ask your Quarry every conceivable question about his hot fantasies.
Punctuate his answers by purring, twinkling your eyes, moaning, licking your lips, and giving him other subtle signs of approval.
Huntresses, you must now get a clear picture of how far your Quarry wants to go with his fantasies. Ask him if he prefers to think about his fantasies during sex, wants to talk about them while making love, or would like to actually act them out. This is a potentially dangerous question because he might take it as his big opener and ask you if you would fulfill his fantasy. Don't say no. Don't say yes. Leave him guessing, but convince him you are open-minded.
In the instance of the two-women fantasy, you might say, "Well, I've never gone to bed with another woman, but it sounds very exciting. I'd have to give it a lot of thought." Believe me, you will never have to go to bed with another woman if you don't want to.
The fantasy alone will keep him going for years. In fact, many men justpreferthe fantasy.
Huntresses, Discover His Trigger Words
Huntresses, we have heard many times that a man is visual when it comes to sex, but did you know he is also very auditory? Like a little kid listening to bedtime stories, a man loves to hear the magic words that turn him on—over, and over, and over again. I call themtrigger words because they are bullets that shoot straight through to their target. Trigger words aimed at a woman's heart are a powerful relationship booster, but let's talk now about how trigger words aimed at a man's sexual desires are a potent aphrodisiac.
A man can close his eyes to the concrete world of job and family and bills and submerge himself in a universe of sexual fantasy. When you whisper the precise words that trigger his desire, you can Page 283
propel him right into another world, and he takes you along with him.
Men love to talk about sex with a woman who will pass no negative judgments. If some men are willing to rack up hefty charges on their credit cards just to share their fantasies with a woman on the phone, talking about fantasies must be important to them.
Many men who can't fantasy-talk to their wives Page 284
or girlfriends call a sex-phone service to tell a strange woman what turns them on.
What happens in a typical hot talk 900-number call?
A woman with a sexy voice asks (after payment terms have been arranged, of course), ''What are you thinking about? What are your
sexiest, deepest, hottest fantasies? Hmmm? Tell me all about it." All she needs is a few sentences from him to get him rolling. Whatever the caller says, the woman pretends to be very excited about it: "Oh, really? Ummm, I like that."
A phone-line pro has been trained to listen carefully to her caller's words—to use, if you will, the Echoing technique we talked about previously. She makes up a story, a fantasy, usinghiswords.
Let's go back to our example of the widespread male fantasy of two women having sex together. Suppose a phone-sex caller said he'd like to "watch two blonds who are hot for each other go at it." That's all the pro needs. She has her trigger words to give him his money's worth. The call might go something like this.
She might say, "Oh, you like to watch two womengo at it , hmmm? I like other women. Especially blonds ." (Notice, the phone-sex pro didn't say have sex, make love , or even the "f" word. She used her caller's precise phrase, go at it .) Her caller would respond breathlessly, "You do?" "Oh, yes," she'll answer. ''I'vegoneat it with lots of women. Funny, now that I think of it, they've all been blonds ."
Her caller's heavy breathing starts. "Are . . . are . . .
areyoublond?" he asks. When she answers, "Oh, yes.
I've got long blond hair. I'm about 5'9"," he gasps.
Now the operator racks her brain to make up a story.
After all, the meter is running, and she wants to keep her caller on the line as long as she can. "Well, it just was last summer," she begins. "I spotted Sheila sitting on the other side of the pool. She was combing out her lonbglondhair. When she stood up I noticed she was very talland had a beautiful body. I started to get hot for her . I walked over to her and. . . ."
Page 285
There was, of course, never any Sheila, never any swimming pool, and never any sex between the 900-number lady and another woman. In fact, the 900-number woman probably wasn't blond, wasn't tall, and might not even be a woman. Sometimes transvestites with feminine voices work for the900-numberservices.Butthesedetailsdon'tmatter .It'sthefan tasy,andthetriggerwords,
that count with the caller.
TECHNIQUE #80 (FOR HUNTRESSES):
TRIGGER WORDS
Listen carefully when your Quarry has shed his inhibitions and is talking about sex. Does he say woman, female, lady, chick, girl, doll, babe? To turn him on, be eroticallycorrect, not politically correct.
Whe n he's feeling erotic, does he refer to your breasts, boobs, titties, knockers, kajoobies?
If you want to turn up the heat, forget your ladylike euphemisms during sex. Use whatever wordsheuses.
Your Quarry might not have a sexual fantasy as specific as the one in the example we used, but just get him talking about sex—anything about sex. Ask him about previous sexual experiences. Ask him what he thinks about when he masturbates (all men do). Ask him what would be the most exciting sexual experience he could imagine.
Listen to his choice of words. When he's feeling comfortable, how does he refer to his penis? Don't copy the word he uses when he's in polite conversation. Listen for the one he says when he'hsot.
Sometimes you turn a man off if youdon'tuse his trigger words. I interviewed a man at The Project who said he got very excited when he heard the wordscrewing, but his girlfriend
Page 286
always said making love . He loved his girlfriend and, of course, when screwing her, he said he was feeling love. But he longed to have her just once say, "Dear, pleassecrewme."
Huntresses, give your Quarry a rare treat, a sexual thrill he doesn't usually get from a woman he's in a relationship with. You can do it almost any time, any place—on the phone, across the dinner table, while walking in the mall. Simply whisper his trigge r words in his ear.
Give Your Quarry Good Bed Rap
The pinnacle auditory sexual experience for your Quarry is hearing his own special hot words coming across the pillow from you to him during sex. Above all, when the two of you are in bed together, use hiswords, not yours. No matter how dumb the words sound to you, if he's told you they're a turn-on for him, believe it.
TECHNIQUE #81:
BED RAP
Huntresses, remember all the details of his answer when you asked him, "What turns you on?"
Bring those sexual fantasies into bed with the two of you. Make up bedtime stories for him. Be his own private 900-number especially when it counts—
during sex.
Along with the words, invoke your Quarry's fantasies in bed. Find a way to bring up the hot stories he's told you. For example, if your Quarry had the "Barb and Di" fantasy we spoke about earlier, during foreplay, ask him with a mischievous sparkle in your eye, "Hey, how are Barb and Di doing?" If this is the first time you're using this technique with him,
Page 287
he might mumble something like, "Uh, gee, I was thinking aboyuotu , Sweetie." Then you say, "I wasn't.
I was thinking about Barb and Di. That really is very exciting."
Talking a man through his fantasies during sex is callebded rap . Huntresses, it's not entirely selfless. A good bed rap keeps the needle high on the crude, old-fashioned peter-meter for your ultimate pleasure.
Page 289
48
Women?
Chalk it up as yet another drop in the ever-expanding ocean of gender differences. You will not thrill a woman if, on your first date, you embark on an inquisition about her sexual fantasies. A woman would probably misinterpret your asking "What turns you on?" too early in your relationship. You would sound crude. Additionally, women are more private about their fantasies and do not feel the same need to share them.
However, you still need the answer to the crucial question, "What turns you on?" The goal is the same, gentlemen, but the method of getting there is different. After you are into an intimate relationship with her, ask your Quarry (with caution) about previous relationships—what she liked, what she didn't like. Proceed slowly, and let her know your motivation. You are not being nosy. You are so thrilled with the pleasure she gives you that you want to reciprocate by giving her
pleasure. Therefore, you'd like to know what she has enjoyed in the past. This opens the door for her to give you any guidance or directions if she wants to.
If sh
e prefers not to talk, however, don't press. Step softly, tread gently. If, from what she's willing to divulge, you can pick
Page 290
up some useful information on her sexual attitudes and preferences, you're ahead of the game.
Keep in mind that your Quarry is excited by you as more of a total package. Her sexuality is not as specific. Your technique between the sheets is important but, for a woman, her interest in you runs deeper than that. All of your wonderful qualities and actions, in bed and out, add to her excitement over you.
Gentlemen, whenever I ask a girlfriend what it is that sexually excites her about her current lover, I hear descriptive words likebrilliant, sensitive, responsible, honest , and a myriad of other qualities that you think have nothing to do with what goes on under the sheets. Those qualities add to her excitement over you, even when the lights are out.
Both Hunters and Huntresses can use another technique to net their prey. Hunters should pay special attention, because this advice is more potent for you. Uncover another kind of fantasy, a deeper one which involves your Quarry's psychosexual needs.
Peel Back Her Layers and Lay Bare Her
Deeper Fantasies
Hunters, women, too, have hot sexual fantasies—
intense sexual fantasies, recurring sexual fantasies.
Gentlemen, if you manage to fulfill a woman's sexual fantasies, you've taken a big step toward making her love you. But you can take a greater leap into he r heart, a more effective stride toward achieving your goal: Fulfill herrelationship fantasies. As no two people have precisely the same sexual fantasies, so no two people have the same relationship fantasies.
Another generalization, but just as men have more specificsexual desires, women have more specific relationship desires.
I have a friend named Dana, a thirty-six-year-old, very attractive brunette who has a nightclub act. Her physical beauty outweighs her talent, but she manages to get booked in small cocktail lounges around the country. Dana feels her singing days are numbered, and she desperately wants to get married.
