Same Old Song

by Brenda Dorantes

  These have been the longest and the busiest three months of my life. My fingers are sore from rehearsing for hours to no end. I barely get any sleep. We're all tired by the time we make it back to the dorm at the end of the day. My brother and I can't even start a conversation because the first thing we do once we enter the dorm is falling face down our beds until our alarm clock wakes us up.

  "Aidan, I want to talk to you before you leave," Mr. Garner said at the end of rehearsal. He waits for everyone to leave the room to speak and looks at me with his eyebrows raised. "You look tired, son."

  Tiredness is an underestimate. I nodded, taking my glasses off and rubbing my eyes. "I look tired, I feel tired. My brain is practically mush and my body has barely gotten any nutrients." I yawn, stretching my arms over my head. "And I really could use a five-year nap, maybe more."

  Mr. Garner chuckles. "I see. The last months of school are the hardest. How about your brother? Beat up and tired?"

  I try to chuckle, but a weird snort comes out instead. I'm too tired to even chuckle.

  "Yeah, we all are."

  "How is that solo coming out?" He asked, changing the subject.

  The solo. That same day I gave him the paper of my acceptance to the Annual Orchestra Foundation, he told me they wanted me to do a solo at the end of the show. I’ll be performing three of the songs that I've composed. I'm really excited about it, but all of this is just sucking the life out of me.

  "It's actually going good." I smile weakly. "It's all ready, I just need to keep practicing until I nail it."

  "You will. Now, go get some sleep, would you? You look like The Walking Dead." He laughs, patting my shoulder.

  "Okay. Have a good night, Mr. Garner," I said and walked out of the classroom.

  "Goodnight, Aidan," he said as the door closed behind me.

  The dorm is empty when I walk in. It’s only six-thirty which means Alex and Matthew will be here any moment. I take advantage of the fact that the bathrooms are empty to take a shower and change into a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Once in my room, I lay in bed and enjoy the silence. I'm grateful for the moments of silence I have to myself because I can use this time to relax. The room is filled with such a peaceful, calming silence that a pleasant smile spreads across my face.

  Unfortunately it doesn't last long. The door flies open and the lights are turned on. Alex, Matthew and the girls walk in chatting and laughing. I groan, rolling over on my stomach and pulling a blanket over my head. Someone sits on top of me and knocks the air out of me. I groan, again.

  "That's how you receive me after a week that we don't see each other." Kathy's voice sounds from on top of me. "How hurtful, Aidan."

  I roll over, making her get off and sit on the bed next to me. "Sorry, I was trying to take a nap." She's wearing a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that's three sizes bigger than her. I take her hand and thread our fingers together and lay our joined hands on my chest.

  The smell of food invades my nostrils. Kentucky Fried Chicken, my favorite. I lift my head and see Alex pulling out two large bowls of chicken and setting them on the coffee table.

  "You guys brought food?" I asked.

  "Yep." Kathy tugs my arm. "Come on, I'm hungry." She pulls me up to a sitting position.

  We eat on my bed as the others settled on their own and caught up with the latest week of school. This food is well welcomed to my stomach. I eat five pieces of chicken, mashed potatoes and Mac and Cheese. I eat until I'm physically unable to eat anymore. After eating we all get comfortable to watch a movie, but as The Dark Knight starts, I can't get through the first ten minutes without falling asleep. The last thing I remember is Kathy taking my arm, placing it under her head and snuggling closer to me before completely drifting off.

  The next morning I wake up with Kathy sleeping next to me. Her arms were around my neck, her head lays on my shoulder and her breathing is tickling the side of my neck. My arms are around her waist and my legs tangled with hers. I slowly raise my head and take a look around the room. Everyone else is asleep and if Kathy is still here, that means the girls fell asleep, too. The early rays of sunshine come through the window, illuminating the room.

  Thank God it's Saturday. I lay my head back on the pillow and hug Kathy closer to me. We’re not exactly dating yet. We never talked about the subject, not even about the kiss that she gave me. We are just very close friends, that I can be very sure, but I can't say we're just friends. We've shared things friends don't usually share. Whatever it is that we have, I like it. Though I can't help the feeling inside me that tells me it wants more.

  Just when I'm about to fall back asleep, Kathy begins to stir in my arms. My arms let go of her, allowing her to stretch her arms over her head and legs to the end of the bed. She lets out a big groan, followed by a moan.

  The sound of an old trumpet sounds at the other side of the room, turning the pleasing silence to a disturbed awkward moment. Leila groans.

  "Alex, you're so disgusting!"

  I laugh, burying my face on the pillow. I certainly do not want to smell it.

  Kathy coughs with a laugh. "Alex, that's so nasty!"

  "Girls, love it or leave it," he said, followed by another one. Kathy laughs, pulling the blanket over our heads. I hear Leila whine about how disgusting it is and Matthew and Jessie murmuring from the bed.

  "That's disgusting," Kathy said from under the blankets.

  I smile and look at her. "That's what happens when Alex eats KFC." She gives me a you don't say look and closes her eyes. "You hungry?"

  After Alex's disgusting aroma leaves the room, we all get up and start talking about breakfast. Kathy tried to tame her hair in a braid, but a few hairs fell free on the side of her face. After a whole debate we decided to go to Denny's and have breakfast there. While we got ready, the girls went to their dorm to change.

  "So, who was making out last night?" Alex asked teasingly. I turn and look at him confused as I button my shirt. He was directing that question to me. "Come on, lover boy, was it you guys?"

  "Honestly, Alex, your ability to act like an immature high school jock is outstanding. What are you talking about?"

  "Someone was making out very loud last night," he said as he was tying his shoes. "It was either you with Kathy or Matthew and Jessie."

  "Matthew and Jessie," I answer, as a matter of fact. "And for your information Kathy and I are not dating."

  Matthew walks out of the bathroom with his eyes wide open. "I cannot believe you. You and Kathy have more intimate moments than Alex has ever had with Leila."

  "Hey!" Alex stood up. "If I haven't had sex with Leila is because she wants it to be special."

  I laugh. "Well, look at you, Mr. Romantic. What happened to all the getting laid and being a player you were talking about during our Freshman year?"

  Matthew laughs, too. Before we came to college Alex always said he was going to get laid so many times and that he'll be known for being the world's biggest, baddest player. Something I've always doubted because, well, Alex is Alex.

  "Not for Leila," he said. "Anyway, we're not talking about my sex life-"

  "Which you don't have," I reply.

  "We're talking about yours," he counterattacks.

  This time I roll my eyes. I don't have one either.

  "Kathy and I have not slept together. We're just friends."

  Matthew sighs this time. "Come on, man, why don't you ask the girl out?" He takes his jacket and hands me mine. "You guys obviously like each other."

  I shrug on my jacket and zip it. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just waiting for the right time."

  "Well, you're taking too long.” Alex hands me my car keys. “Just letting you know, brother, girls do not like waiting."

  His comment takes me back to the kiss we shared. Kathy kissed me first. Wasn't I supposed to make the first move?

  "Talking about waiting, Jessie says they're ready." Matthew puts his phone in his pocket and walks to the door. "Let's go."


  My mind wouldn’t stop pondering on the thoughts between Katherine and I during breakfast. The end of school is right around the corner, could it be too late? I hope not, but what can I do? We're all graduating soon and Kathy has not said anything about what she's doing after this is all over. So far, the search for internships and jobs is ongoing and her mother has not been that reliable.

  After breakfast the girls come up with the idea to have a quick trip to the mall. Kathy isn't too excited about the idea. When I ask her why, she says, "I'm not a shopping person. Malls usually get me really annoyed."

  "Do you want to go for a walk instead?"

  She jumps at the idea. "That's so much better than walking to twenty different stores."

  We parted from the group, heading to the closest park we could find. Kathy’s quiet most of the time. We walk past some couples, people working out and people walking their dogs. Just some regular people living out their everyday lives and they chose the perfect day to do so. The sky is clear, the sun shines at its highest point in the sky and the weather is perfect. Not too hot, not too cold either.

  "Have you figured out what you are going to do once you graduate?"

  She gives me a sad smile. "I went to a few more job interviews," she answers but doesn’t elaborate on anything else.

  "How did it go?" I ask, encouraging her to talk.

  "Not as good as I hoped," she said. "It's harder than I thought. Perhaps it’s because when I started college I always imagined what it would be like after I graduated. I would find a job right away, meet someone special, prepare for a future, a family, travel around the world, have everything I've ever wanted." A big sigh escapes her. She shakes her head and pulls her hair behind her ear. "Things aren't always how we think they are going to be. I'll probably go back home."

  That last part made my head snap. "You can't," I argued. "That's what your mother wants, isn't it? Not what you want." The simple thought of her leaving is almost... Unthinkable. I stopped walking and grabbed her by the elbow. "Kathy, your home is here. You’ve said it yourself, are you really going to walk away from it?"

  "Then what am I supposed to do?" She asked, yanking her arm from my grip. "It's going to be fine. Everyone has everything figured out, no one needs me here. It's not like they’re going to miss me."

  "To hell with everyone, what about me?" I snap. "Am I no one?"

  "Aidan, we don't have to lose contact. We can still talk every day by text, or call-"

  "I don't want to text you or call you, I want you here with me," I snapped, again. I can't believe she's saying this. Maybe it’s not the best way to say it, but I can't help it, I can't let her leave. "Stay here with me."

  She looked at me like I just grew a second head. "Stay with you?"

  "Yes, stay with me. You have faith in me, don't you?" She nods, waiting to see where I’m going with this. "No one said this was going to be easy, but we both can find a way to work it out. We'll figure something out." I take her face between my hands. "We got this, remember?"

  She smiles at me with her beautiful, sweet smile that I love so much.

  "Yeah," she said, "we do."

  I let out a deep sigh, relieved. My heart, which went from sixty to a hundred miles per hour, begins to slow down. I need her to stay with me. Call me selfish, but she can't leave me. Now I know whatever life I had before I met her was not a life at all. I go crazy just thinking about her not being here.

  Without having anything else to say, I lean in and press my lips to hers. It’s a real kiss this time, not just a peck. I get the chance to taste the sweet, vanilla taste off her lips, feel her warmth pressed against mine. I used to think that there was no better feeling in this world than the feeling I got when I played. But I’ve been proven wrong. There's no better feeling in this world than the chilling feeling I get from just having her lips against mine. There’s no better feeling than having her with me.

  Chapter Ten

  Aidan

  Graduation is finally here. A huge wave of relief has been washed over me from the moment our final exams were over. Today is our graduation, tomorrow afternoon we're leaving for Chicago and Wednesday night is the big performance. Kathy and the girls are coming with me and my family on the trip. It took a long two hours to convince Katherine to come. Not that she didn't want to come, but because she thought it was something to share with my family only. She still has no idea she's part of my family now.

  Her mother decided not to come to the graduation. It was some bullshit story she tried to sell about not having enough money and time to fly down for the day. Kathy was heartbroken. She spent hours and hours locked up in her dorm. Jessie and Leila couldn't enter the dorm because she made sure to take the keys from them. It wasn't until we unlocked the door with a toothpick and made her talk to that she finally came out. It took a lot of group work to bring a smile to her beautiful face.

  Now, she's happy again, sort of. She's excited about Chicago and ready for whatever there is to come for us. I'm still not entirely sure what we are, but we are closer than before. We're both looking forward to whatever happens in our lives together.

  "Time to go!" Jessie bursts into our dorm wearing her cap and gown. Leila and Kathy walked in right behind her.

  My eyes popped out of their orbits at the sight of Kathy. Her hair is perfectly curled down her chest. She has a small hint of makeup, her cheeks are flushed and her lips are red rather than pink. I gape, looking at her like a total idiot. Her eyes met mine and her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.

  "I told you he'd like it." Leila bumps her shoulder with Kathy’s with a smirk on her face. Her comment takes me out of my enchantment. She wraps her arm around Kathy’s shoulders. "Do you like what we did to Kathy?" She asked me, her pink lips smiling from ear to ear.

  "You’re gorgeous.” It's the truth, Kathy looks absolutely gorgeous.

  "Thank you," she said, sheepishly.

  "Alright, enough with the flirting you two." Alex just had to interrupt the moment. "We’re going to be late to our own graduation if we don’t hurry up."

  I offer Kathy my hand and she gladly takes it as we make our way out of the building. Graduation is being held here at the university where hundreds of families are gathered here to see their son/daughter graduate today.

  My parents are waiting for us by the football field. Ma is already a crying mess when she sees us. Dad kicks back with his signature I’m proud of you smile.

  "My boys, there you are!" Ma grabs Alex's face with both her hands and rains him with kisses all over his face, leaving her lipstick print behind. She catches me before I have the chance to run away from her grasp and does the exact same thing.

  Kathy can’t hold back her laughter just like everyone else who laughs at my mother's little loving session. I wipe the lipstick off my face with the end of my gown.

  "Ma, I love you, but I seriously don't need your lipstick all over my face."

  "Same," Alex grumbled, doing the exact same thing.

  Ma steps back, looking at us in awe as we wipe our faces. "Even when they said you two were completely different from each other, you're also the same person."

  I scrunch my eyebrows and look at Alex, who looks back at me with the same expression. There is no way I'm the same person as this guy and I'm pretty sure he thinks the same thing.

  "We're not," we said at the same time, which caused our mother to laugh.

  "Leila, Jessie! Darlings! Matthew!" She walked to them to give them a hug. Their families had already gathered around them. Ma has loved those girls ever since we introduced them to her that one thanksgiving we took them to our house.

  I notice how Kathy steps out of the way. She does her usual hugging herself thing that made her look so small sometimes.

  "Boys," Dad said, making me look away from Kathy. He placed his hands on each of our shoulders and gave us a tight squeeze. "I'm so proud of you both."

  "You're not kissing us, right?" Alex asked, jokingly. But at the bottom, we really hope
d he wasn’t going to.

  Dad laughs. "I'm not, that’s your mother’s job. I just wanted you to know." He gives us each a quick, awkward hug before stepping back. After that is over, we all turn to look at how Mom is choking Matthew in a tight hug. "Women, let the poor kid breathe."

  Ma throws Dad a nasty look as she lets go of Matthew and turns to Kathy.

  "Oh, and who are you?" She asked. Kathy looks at me for help.

  "Ma, this is Katherine Dawson." I introduced her to my mother.

  Ma’s face lights up like a child on a Christmas morning about to open his presents. "You're the girl Alex told me about! The girl who's dating Aidan?"

  "Mom!"

  What the hell?

  Kathy laughs nervously. "Um, no, no, Mrs. Callahan. Aidan and I are just friends."

  "Sure, you are." Ma hugs her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Call me Anna. I'm Aidan and Alex's mother.”

  I walk over to Kathy, saving her from my mother. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and say, "how about we graduate?"

  "That sounds like a great idea.”

  The ceremony of graduation is incredibly long, boring and overall too emotional. So many students were crying because it was all over, just like in highschool. Girls kept holding hands, some guys gave each other appreciating looks, etc. It was exhausting to witness, really. The girl who gave the speech about growing up, life lessons, etc, kept stuttering, shaking her leg and taking long pauses throughout. It was a good speech, I admit that, but very long.

  Alex is asleep beside me by the time everyone gets up to get their diplomas as rehearsed. I elbow him on the ribs, hard. He sits up startled, wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth.

  "Are we done?" He asked, still half asleep.

  I laugh. "No, we have to go get our diplomas," I said, standing up and following the line of students to the stage. Alex follows, but it still takes him a minute to acknowledge what is happening.

  "Aidan Tate Callahan," Principal Clark called my name.

  Holy shit, that’s me.