William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return
Page 6
Be not afear’d, good Luke, let not thy nerves
Thy better judgment mar. Full many ships
There are that do command the Empire’s fleet.
Keep thou thy distance, though, Chewbacca, but
Do not appear as though thou keepest it.
CHEWBAC.
Auugh?
HAN
—Let me make it plain: fly casual.
CHEWBAC.
Egh!
Enter DARTH VADER on balcony.
VADER
—Tell me now: where is that shuttle bound?
PIETT
Small shuttle of Tydirium, what is
Thy destination and thy cargo? Speak!
HAN
We come to bring both parts and crew, which shall
Deliver technical assistance to
Our comrades on the forest moon.
VADER
—Have they
The code that clearance would ensure?
PIETT
—They do.
It is an older code, but hits the mark.
I was about to grant them passage, Lord.
LUKE
[ aside:] My father, how I sense him clearly now!
His thoughts, his aspect, e’en his very mood.
[ To Han Solo:] I have endangerèd the mission here,
And should not hither have accomp’nied you.
HAN
’Tis thine imagination, Luke. Pray, be
More optimistic; let thy heart be still.
LUKE
[ aside:] What stillness can there be when moves the Force?
It shall move mountains if it so desires.
No inner strength or outer brawn can match
The movement of the Force that now ’twixt me
And Vader passeth. Han hath no idea,
Yet all, belike, shall know quite soon enough,
For Ben and Yoda both were right: I must
My father yet confront ere I—or he—
Shall ever freedom know.
PIETT
[ to Vader:] —Shall they be held?
VADER
Nay, Admiral, thou mayst let them proceed.
They shall be mine—mere cards that I shall play,
And I shall serve as dealer for their deck.
PIETT
Then shall I wager that the house shall win.
Thy wish is mine, my Lord, and it shall be.
[ To controller:] Thou canst now carry on, and let them pass.
HAN
This hesitation pregnant is with doubt:
Mayhap they are not taken in, Chewbacca.
CONTROL.
Good shuttle of Tydirium, the swift
Deactivation of the shield begins.
Hold fast unto thy present course.
[Exeunt Darth Vader, Admiral Piett, and Imperial controller.
HAN
—’Tis well!
Did I not tell ye all that it would work?
No problems here, when Han is at the helm.
LEIA
My scoundrel-love, thou ever hast a boast—
Yet often there’s a reason to thy rhyme.
Enter several IMPERIAL SCOUTS, aside, as Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, C-3PO, and R2-D2 disembark.
HAN
Now have we landed on the forest moon,
And our good company has disembark’d.
We make our way through trees and bushes here.
But what is that, a sound—pray all, alert!
C-3PO
You see, R2, I told thee this would be
Quite dangerous. Alack, be calm, my core!
HAN
I see a building with Imperial
Motifs and markings. There, beside it, are
Two scouts. This shall require some care, methinks.
LEIA
Then shall we try and go around the side?
LUKE
It will take time.
HAN
—And all shall be for naught
If we are seen. Yet I do have a plan:
Chewbacca and myself shall handle this.
Ye both stay here.
LUKE
—But prithee, soft, good Han.
Be quiet, for there may be others near.
HAN
Thy words unnecessary are—’tis me!
[Han Solo and Chewbacca move toward the Imperial scouts.
Now shall I move in stealth to take them in,
Then take them out. With catlike tread I step,
Ne’er to be notic’d till my prey is mine,
Then I—alack! A twig snaps underfoot!
[Imperial Scouts 1 and 2 turn toward the sound and see Han Solo and Chewbacca.
SCOUT 1
What is that sound? Alas, ’tis rebels, go!
And warn our comrades quickly.
LUKE
—Let us fly!
[Han fights with Imperial Scout 1. Imperial Scout 2 boards his speeder bike to fly away but is shot by Chewbacca. Imperial Scouts 3 and 4 jump on their speeder bikes and fly away.
LEIA
Behold the two scouts speed from out our grasp!
Upon the instant I shall give them chase.
LUKE
Pray, Leia, patience—straight I come with thee!
[Luke and Leia board a speeder bike behind Imperial Scouts 3 and 4, in pursuit. Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2 in the melee.
Enter CHORUS.
CHORUS
Do not our play too harshly judge, dear friends,
For with imagination may you see:
Into the forest now the fight extends
On speeder bikes that whip ’twixt tree and tree.
What haste their dauntless riders undergo
As they fly swiftly past both brush and stumps!
The rapid derring-do our scene doth show,
And when ’tis over, some shall have their lumps.
[Exit chorus.
LUKE
Jam thou their comlink, center switch!
LEIA
—’Tis done!
LUKE
Canst thou yet closer go? Pray, pull aside
The one before us. Now I jump aboard
His bike, and he is mine and I’m for him.
[Luke throws Imperial Scout 3 from his speeder bike, and Imperial Scout 3 dies.
Enter IMPERIAL SCOUTS 5 and 6 on speeder bikes.
Aye, he is gone, but others take his place!
Good Leia, follow that one up ahead.
I shall remain behind, to face these two.
LEIA
’Tis well. Be safe, and I shall see thee soon.
LUKE
[ aside:] O sister, all my thanks for tender words.
[Luke falls behind, alongside Imperial Scouts 5 and 6.
Now shall this bike’s keen blaster find its mark!
I shoot, and one is dead; the other next.
[Luke shoots and kills Imperial Scout 6.
LEIA
I shall fly high o’er this one’s bike, that he
May think that I have fled. Then shall I from
Above make my attack. Ha! Now beside
His bike, surprise is my sure strategy.
[Imperial Scout 4 shoots at Leia.
Alas! My bike is hit, and off I fall!
[Leia falls to the ground, unconscious. Imperial Scout 4 looks behind him to make sure she has fallen.
SCOUT 4
Ha! There’s a rebel scum who shall no more
Make trouble for our mighty Empire. We
Are e’er the strongest in the galaxy,
With pilots such as I whose skill is—O!—
[Imperial Scout 4 collides with a tree and dies.
LUKE
This latest scout is skill’d beyond the rest—
I may not best him in a battle thus.
Yet by another method I shall win,
For why rely on bikes and blasters when
I have the Force, and my lightsaber, too?
[Luke leaps from his bike.
Now to it, scout! Return and meet thy fate!
He comes a’blasting, but my lightsaber
Deflects the shots, and now I slice his bike!
Aye, broke in twain his bike doth falter fast,
And now against a tree he meets his end!
[Imperial Scout 5 dies.
Enter HAN SOLO, CHEWBACCA, C-3PO, and R2-D2, from the opposite side.
R2-D2
Beep, meep, beep, whistle, meep, squeak, whistle, nee!
C-3PO
O, Gen’ral Solo, someone comes anon!
HAN
[ seeing Luke:] Luke! We have found thee! But thou lack’st one thing:
I bid thee tell me: where is Leia? Eh?
LUKE
She came not back?
HAN
—I thought she was with thee.
LUKE
And truly was. But lo, within the wood,
The battle was borne out with speed and fire,
Amid the blasts and cruel Imperi’l scouts
’Twas only muddledom that won the day.
We separated were, and there’s an end.
Anon! We must fly hence and search for her.
Good R2, come, thy scanners we shall need.
C-3PO
Fear not, good master, we know what to do!
[ To R2-D2:] And thou didst say ’twas pretty here. O pish!
[Exeunt Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2.
Enter WICKET , an Ewok, approaching Princess Leia.
WICKET
A buki buki,
Luki, luki,
Issa creecher,
Nuki, nuki!
[Wicket jabs Princess Leia with his staff. She wakes up.
LEIA
Desist at once, thou furry little imp!
WICKET
E danvay, danvay,
Staa awanvay,
Da livvy creecher!
Panvay, panvay!
LEIA
I shall not hurt thee, little one. But O,
My body cries with soreness from my fall.
I wonder where Luke and the others are?
WICKET
Fangowa, gowa,
I nonowa.
Da creecher muvvee
Slowa, slowa.
LEIA
It seemeth I am fix’d and grounded here,
Yet I am lost and know not what “here” means.
All that I have is this small creature, from
A species I have ne’er encounterèd.
Mayhap thou wilt assist me, little friend.
Sit down beside me, here, and let us talk.
I promise I’ll not hurt thee. Aye, approach.
WICKET
A dunga, dunga,
Wassee wunga?
Ino commee,
Junga junga.
LEIA
Belike thou wouldst like something thou canst eat?
If thou art like most creatures, thou mayst be
Directed by thy stomach’s wish for food—
Where bellies lead, the other members trail.
Here, friend, taste thou this morsel from my hand.
WICKET
Aytru, aytru,
See mebbe tru,
Iya tryee,
Maytru, maytru.
[Wicket takes a wafer from Princess Leia and eats it.
LEIA
I’ll warrant I have made a friend at last—
The food succeeds where words alone have fail’d. Now shall I take this helmet off, for sure,
It gives me pain to wear it still so tight.
WICKET
A kusha kusha,
Wassee doona?
Mia scardu,
Pusha, pusha.
LEIA
Nay, fear thou not, O little one; ’tis but
A hat, and shall not harm thee. ’Tis no threat.
Thou art a scamp fill’d full of skittishness.
[Wicket hears a sound in the forest.
WICKET
A kiata, ata,
Summink mata,
Summink commee,
Giata ata.
[A shot is fired near Princess Leia, who falls to the ground.
LEIA
[ aside:] This creature’s customs and his language are
Unknown to me, and yet his instincts prove
Most capable. He smell’d the danger ere
I knew ’twas here. A pow’rful ally might
He and his people be, if e’er we could
Communicate and share each other’s thoughts
And hopes and aspirations openly.
[Another shot is fired.
WICKET
A wundah wundah,
Shutee gundah,
Shutee baddee,
Nundah nundah.
[Wicket hides.
Enter IMPERIAL SCOUTS 7 and 8.
SCOUT 7
[ to Leia:] Stand down, milady, else you breathe your last!
[ To Scout 8:] Go, get thy bike, and take her back to base,
For none but our own troops have clearance to
Be on the sanctuary moon. She must
Give answer for her furtive presence here.
SCOUT 8
Indeed, Sir.
[Imperial Scout 8 begins to exit. Wicket comes out of hiding and strikes Imperial Scout 7.
SCOUT 7
—O! What manner of a beast—
[Princess Leia hits Imperial Scout 7, who falls unconscious. Imperial Scout 8 begins to run.
LEIA
Now, blaster, hit thy mark, else we’re found out!
[Princess Leia shoots and kills Imperial Scout 8.
Good cheer! The scout is slain, and we are safe.
I give thee thanks, thou bantam warrior,
For thy protection and thy bravery.
Come, let us go at once, ere others come.
WICKET
A yubnub, yubnub,
Shessa noolub,
Shessa frenda,
Yubyub, yubyub.
LEIA
[ aside:] Although it seems I came from over there
He wisheth me to follow him that way.
Belike in following I’ll earn his trust.
Then shall I make our budding friendship real
And see what this chance meeting may reveal.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2.
Inside the second Death Star.
Enter DARTH VADER, EMPEROR PALPATINE, and ROYAL GUARDS.
EMPEROR
Now wherefore hast thou come to see me here?
Thine orders were to stay aboard thy ship.
VADER
I would not disobey thine orders, were
It not of grave importance to our cause.
A rebel force hath made it past the shield,
And landed on the forest moon of Endor.
EMPEROR
I know all this already.
VADER
—And my son
Is with them on their mission.
EMPEROR
—Art thou sure?
VADER
Forsooth, for I have felt him.
EMPEROR
—Strange that I
Have not. Lord Vader, are thy feelings on
This matter clear, or need’st thou clarity?
VADER
[ aside:] Well ask’d, for my confusion he doth sense.
[ To Emperor:] My thoughts are clear, my master.
EMPEROR
—This, then, shalt
Thou do: fly to the sanctuary moon,
And wait upon him there, for he shall come.
VADER
Indeed? ’Tis he who shall come unto me?
EMPEROR
I have foreseen it. His compassion for
His long-lost father shall mean his defeat.
’Tis he shall come to thee, and thou shalt bring
Him hither, unt
o me. Thus it shall be.
VADER
Whatever thou dost wish, I grant to thee.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 3.
The forest moon of Endor.
Enter Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2.
HAN
A’searching in the forest, we have found
No trace of my belovèd. Yet I see
These wreck’d and tangl’d bikes afore mine eyes,
And must assume the worst. Some horrid fate,
Some accident of fortune hath befall’n,
And ta’en my love too quickly from my grasp.
O let it ne’er be so, and let me not
With grief and anguish live out all my days.
Although we find not Leia, let us still
Some hope discover deep within these woods.
Enter LUKE SKYWALKER , holding Princess Leia’s helmet.
LUKE
This helmet have I found, near yonder log.
The tree that once so tall and stately stood,
Hath been by some unnat’ral force knock’d down.
But all that doth remain there is the top,
That once rose high above the forest’s roof.
O tree, that lost its trunk and turn’d to log!
O helmet—without wearer—turn’d to shell.
C-3PO
Good Master Luke, his heart doth break within.
LUKE
Two more wreck’d speeders yonder did I see,
And this poor, empty helmet tells a tale.
C-3PO
I fear that R2’s sensors can find no
Suggestion of dear Princess Leia near.
HAN
I hope—O greatest hope, O fondest hope—
With all my being hope she may be well.