Torn

by A. F. Crowell

  “So while I was out Barb called. She wants to go out tonight for sushi. We shouldn’t be out too late though.” I hopped up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. “Oh and Brody should be here in about two hours to pick Lil up. He’s gonna keep her tonight. I thought it might be nice for him to spend a little one on one time with her. And Jane will be there to help.”

  A low grumble came from Jaxon’s chest. “Why can’t she just stay here with me?”

  Walking back with a bottle of water, I stopped just behind the couch. “Because I have plans for you when I get home.”

  “Oh really? Do these plans have anything to do with me fuckin’ you on every available surface?” he growled.

  “They might,” I purred over my shoulder as I climbed the stairs to the bedroom to get ready.

  “Woman, you’re damn lucky she’s awake, otherwise…”

  “I’m going to get ready. Barb will be here at eight. Don’t feed the baby, please. I need to nurse right before I leave,” I hollered from the second floor.

  Fifteen minutes before Brody was supposed to be there to pick the baby up, Jaxon ran around the house, getting her blanket, car seat, and frozen milk ready while I nursed her in his recliner. As much as I hated this chair in the beginning, I had grown to love it. I had fallen asleep in it many nights while nursing.

  “All right, babe, I’ve got everything ready.”

  “Can you take her while I put my dress on?” I sat up in the beige recliner.

  “Yeah.” Jaxon came around and took Lillian, as there was a knock at the front door. “I’ll get that, you go get ready. Barb will be here any minute.”

  We both knew the knock at the door was not Barb because she never knocked. As I ran up the stairs, I heard Brody talking to Lillian. It still shocked the shit out of me that I could leave those two men in the same room, return, and find the room still intact and no blood.

  Once in the closet, I pulled out the navy V-neck dress. The skirt was ruched and fitted, and the chest and short sleeves were flowing and billowy. Jane and I found this dress when we went to the outlets a few weeks ago and I’d been waiting for the perfect time to wear it. Slipping into the dress, I grabbed my taupe tall strappy leather heels and walked to the bench to put them on.

  “What the fuck are you wearing?” Jaxon’s eyes almost bugged out his head.

  “A dress and heels.” I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. “Does it look bad?” I’d been self-conscious of my body since having the baby two months ago.

  “You’re not wearin’ that, babe.” Jaxon crossed his tattooed arms over his chest and blocked the door.

  “I look fat, don’t I?”

  “No, definitely not the problem.” Grabbing my hand, he placed it over the zipper of his jean where I could feel him straining the fabric. “See what one look at you does?”

  Shaking my head, I smiled. “That’s just because you’re horny. No one else will be staring at me. As a matter of fact, let’s see what Brody thinks.”

  “Oh hell no,” he grumbled as I pushed past him and headed down to the first floor. Jaxon was hot on my heels as I clip-clomped down the steps.

  “Brody, does this dress look okay to go out with Barb in?” Batting my eyes, I tried to silently beg him to agree with me.

  Brody looked back and forth between Jaxon and me before speaking. “It’s okay—”

  “See?” I cut him off.

  “Wait,” he continued, “I didn’t finish. It’s okay, but no fucking way I’d let you out of my sight in that dress. Someone like Jax might come along and steal you away.” His dig was thankfully playful. He turned and knelt back down to Lillian who was in the car seat.

  “Fuck off,” Jaxon retorted with a snort. “See, I’m not the only one who thinks you should change.”

  “Wait, you said you’re goin’ out with Barb in that?” Brody’s head whipped back around to me.

  Speak of the devil, in waltzed Barb, unaware of the conversation. “Hot damn, hooker, check you out.” Subtly shaking my head, she took the hint. “Where’s my little butterball baby?”

  “Barb, she’s not fat. I’d appreciate it if you did not call her a butterball,” Brody said crossly.

  “Oh stop, Mister Grumpypants. She’s the same size as a little turkey. I’m not sayin’ she’s fat. But after the pictures from her newborn shoot with her little legs tucked under her, every time I look at her I see a turkey.” She stepped around Brody and grabbed the car seat. “Who’s Auntie Barb’s little butterball?” she babbled on.

  “You have everything you need, right?”

  “Yes,” Brody replied tersely.

  “Then Barb and I will be on our way.” Grabbing her by the arm, I pulled her away from the couch where Lil was sitting in her car seat. “You’re driving.”

  “Wait a damn minute.” Jaxon realized I was trying to sneak out the backdoor.

  “Have fun tonight. Love you, bye.” I grabbed my cell, purse, and keys off the bar as Jaxon strode our way. “Run,” I told Barb, giggling. I took off out the backdoor like a teenager sneaking out of the house. Running in heels was not how I saw my night beginning, but it certainly made things interesting.

  Barb and I hopped in her Jeep and took off as Jaxon stood in the driveway, arms crossed over his massive chest. “Oh he’s gonna be a ball of fun later.”

  Barb threw her head back and cackled. “Your ass is gonna be sore.”

  Just before we got out of the Jeep I flipped the visor down to check my lipstick. Lightly, I trailed my fingers along the scar. As if she could read my mind, Barb nudged me. “I don’t even notice anymore. Your crazy-ass hair hides it pretty well.”

  Shaking my head, I sighed and let it go.

  We ate entirely too much sushi and had too much apple sake. By the time we left for Wet Willie’s amazing wall of adult beverages, we were feeling good. We decided to walk the three blocks over to the bar, thinking the fresh air would cool the sake burning a hole in my stomach. Not so much.

  After paying the cover, we discovered it was karaoke night. “Hell yeah. We are totally singing.”

  “No way, Barb, we are not singing. There’s not enough alcohol in the building to get my ass up there.”

  Walking up to the bar, we found two stools that had recently been vacated. We sat and ordered. “I’ll have a Bahama Mama and she’s having a Sex on The Beach.”

  A sexy, deep voice from behind us startled me. “I can help her with sex on a beach.”

  Barb and I turned. We were face to face with Brody’s friend Damon. “Oh shit.” Barb whipped back around to face the bar.

  “Hey, Damon, how are you?” I smiled merrily.

  “Leila, hey…” he said with a little shock. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that was you.”

  “This is Barb.” I elbowed her in the side, causing her to turn around. “Barb, this is Damon, Brody’s friend.”

  Smiling, she nodded. “Hey, nice to meet you. If you don’t mind, we were just having a girls’ night. See ya.” She turned back around and sipped her frozen drink.

  “Okay… See y’all later,” he said, clearly baffled.

  “Sorry,” I muttered as he walked away. “What is wrong with you?” I pinched the back of her arm.

  “Oww, you bitch, that hurt.” She rubbed her arm. “Tonight is about us. No guys. We are supposed to be trying to get you drunk enough to sing.”

  “No freaking way. I already said that’s not happening. I can’t sing.” Grabbing my drink, I slurped the amazingly yummy frozen concoction through the tie-dyed straw. “Damn, that’s good. How’s yours?”

  “Fucking delicious.”

  After those tasty beverages we made the first mistake of the night: We ordered a Call a Cab and Attitude Adjustment. Holy Mother of God. Grain alcohol was no joke and it made you stupid. Yep, we ordered another one after those.

  By eleven p.m. Barb and I were both up in front of the microphones screeching out Push It by Salt n Pepa, dancing around and making inappropriate gestures
at each other. It was hilarious and the most fun I had in a long time. Until it happened.

  As we were walking back to the bar, laughing and teasing each other, Barb’s jaw dropped open and eyes widened. “Lei, we have to leave. Right now.”

  “What the hell?”

  “Look down.” She nodded toward my chest.

  Oh. My. God. Immediately, I crossed my arms over my boobs and ran to the bathroom with Barb on my six. I cannot believe my boobs leaked through the damn breast pads.

  “Go pay the tab and I will be right behind you. I will meet you out front.” Grabbing a bunch of napkins, I tried hopelessly to dry the baseball-size wet spots on the front of my dress.

  “Use the hand drier.” Barb laughed.

  “I’m glad you think this is funny. Ugh.” Shaking my head, I stomped over to the high- powered hand drier and knelt on the floor. “I cannot believe I am doing this. Go pay the damn tab so we can get the hell out of here.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Barb took her drunk, cackling ass back out to pay our bill.

  Just as she left, some barely twenty-one-year-old stumbled in. “What the hell?”

  “My tits are leaking if you must know,” I sighed in humiliation.

  “Ooooh, you just had a baby,” she slurred as she gushed. “I just love babies—” She was abruptly cut short by vomit. Thank God, I stood up and moved when I did. She puked all over the trashcan.

  As a nurse, I should have stayed and helped her. However, tonight I was a drunk, new mom and I just hauled ass out of there. Don’t judge me, that shit smelled awful.

  Shouldering my way through the crowd, I prayed to all things holy I didn’t see anyone I knew. I made it safely to the bar where Barb was waiting to rush us out of there. Once we got through the door I was met by the stagnate, humid June air of Charleston.

  Fuck. There was no way we could drive.

  “Barb, we have to walk back to the Jeep and call someone to come get us,” I giggled as I looped my arm around her tiny waist.

  “Oh fuck no, we’ll never hear the end of this shit. No way we can call Jax. He’ll never let you out with me again.” Stumbling down the sidewalk back toward Shi Ki’s, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I’m callin’ Drake… Fucker, answer your phone. Ugh, no answer. Drew. I’m callin’ Drew… Please answer. Drew,” she shrieked. “I need you to come get us…. Me and Lei. Yes, now. Just come get us we are at Shi Ki. I don’t care if you were in bed. Get up, assclown, and come get us.”

  “Barb, just call Jaxon.” Letting go of her, I pulled out my phone to call Jax.

  “Drew’s on his way.” Smiling, she seemed quite proud of herself. “He’s pickin’ us up at the restaurant.”

  “Oh thank God, I really didn’t want to call Jax.” As dramatically as I could, I let my shoulders sag and my head fall back.

  Ten minutes later, Barb and I were lying back in the front seats of her Jeep Wrangler when I heard the voice of one highly pissed-off fiancé. “Let’s go, ya drunks.”

  .“Oh fuck me.” My head shot up and I looked back to see my brother and Jaxon, arms crossed and jaws set. Jax walked up to the passenger side, opened the door, and pulled me out.

  “Where are your shoes? And why is your top all wet?” He sounded really annoyed to be carrying my drunk ass home at midnight on a Tuesday.

  Sitting up too fast, I hit my head on the oh-shit bar above the glove box. “Fuck… Down here.” I grabbed my heels while rubbing my head. “I’ll explain later about my top.”

  “You can explain now, Leila,” he demanded.

  “Really, Jax? Can’t you just wait ’til we’re in the car?” I said, slipping my shoes on my feet.

  “Now, Leila.”

  “Ughhh, ya know you’re a real jerk. My boobs are leaking, asshole. There, are you happy now?” I pushed him away from me and walked to our SUV.

  “Gross, Lei.” Drew wrinkled his nose. “Couldn’t you have just waited, man? I didn’t need to know that shit.” He stood at the back of the Jeep and hollered to Barb, “Move over, I’m takin’ you home, drunk ass.”

  “Call me tomorrow, hooker,” Barb managed as she fell into the passenger seat from the driver side.

  “Will do, bitch.” I sat in our front seat with the window down. “Don’t sleep with my brother.”

  “Gross, why would you say that?” Barb shrieked in horror.

  Jaxon climbed into the driver seat and backed out of the parking lot. “I can’t believe you didn’t call me, babe. Why?” He sounded hurt.

  “I don’t know, I didn’t want you to be mad at Barb. Or me for that matter. I thought Drew could just pick us up and drop me off.” As I spoke it dawned on me. I’m so kicking my brother’s ass for calling Jax.

  “I’m not mad. I just wish you would have called me.”

  We drove in silence for a few minutes before he reached over and rubbed his hand up and down my thigh. “Did y’all have fun?”

  Smiling at the memory of drunk karaoke, I answered, “We did.”

  That was the last thing I remembered until I felt him undo my seatbelt and pick me up out of the car. “Don’t puke on me, Lei.”

  “I’m not that drunk, Jax,” mumbling, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “I can walk.”

  He put me down between the Hellcat and the Escalade. “You sure you’re not that drunk? ’Cause you passed out in the car.”

  Taking a second before answering, I looked him up and down. He was dressed in a tight black Harley t-shirt that displayed his taut chest and ripped-up old jeans that hung from his sexy ass. “I fell asleep.” I took a step closer so my breasts were pressed against his abs then slowly and seductively said, “And I’m not that drunk.”

  Eyeing me carefully he asked, “Is that so?”

  Biting down on my bottom lip, I cocked my head to the side then grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to the hood of the Challenger. “How about I prove it?”

  “Fuck yeah.” He ripped his shirt over his head as I dropped to my knees and unbuckled his belt. He quickly unzipped and pulled out his beautiful, swollen cock. Wrapping my hand around him, I wet my lips then licked all the way around the thick tip. As I eased him into my mouth, he let out a deep moan. As I sucked and swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, he slipped his hands into my hair and started pumping his hips in rhythm. With no warning he pulled back, lifted me off my feet, and dropped me on the hood of the car. He shoved my dress up and ripped my thong from my body. “I’ll buy you another.”

  At that point the only thing I cared about was having him inside me. Filling me, stretching me, and making me scream his name. “Fuck me, Jax.”

  He stepped forward, stroking himself as he reached out and rubbed his thumb across my clit, sending a jolt through my body. Slipping two fingers into my pussy, his hand slipped up and down his hard cock as he finger-fucked me. “Tell me what you want.”

  “Oh God.” I threw my head back and moaned. “I want your fuckin’ cock. Now.” Moving his hand, he slammed into my dripping wet pussy. “Oh fuck.”

  On the hood of my precious Hellcat, Jaxon fucked me until I moaned his name with the second orgasm. Then he pulled out and bent me over the hood. He slipped two fingers in my pussy then I felt his thumb pushing at my ass. We had tried a couple of times, but he’s so large I could never handle all of him. “Go slow,” I whispered.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” I tried to relax my muscles as he worked one, then two fingers, into me. He pulled his cock out of my pussy and slowly pushed the tip of his dick into my ass as he rubbed my clit. Immediately, I tensed at the burning sensation but tried to push past the pain and relax. Once he was all the way in the burning stopped and the impending orgasm became more intense than ever before. His thrusts were slow at first, allowing me time to get used to the sensation. As he picked up the pace, I started to moan my desire. “Oh God, Jax. Faster, fuck me faster.”

  He slammed into me harder and faster until I came so hard I actually saw w
hite bursts of light and I screamed his name with what little voice I had left. “Don’t move, babe, I’m coming. Oh fuck. God, you feel so fuckin’ good. Oh fuck, Lei. I wanna come all over your ass.”

  Pulling his cock out, I looked back as he jerked himself off. Goddamn, it was so fucking hot to watch him get himself off. With a grunt, thick white ribbons of come shot all over my ass. The second the last spurt hit my back he shoved his still-hard cock back into me and pumped a few more times. “Holy fuck, babe, that was fucking amazing.”

  Panting, he pulled out and zipped up. “Let me grab something to clean you up.”

  He walked toward the workbench as I stood bent over the hood of a beautiful car, dressed hiked up, ass out, and still in my heels. “You are so fuckin’ sexy.”

  “I can’t wait to get you in the house and fuck you again,” I purred as he wiped the come from my back and ass.

  “You’re a fuckin’ dream come true, babe. Goddamn, I love you.”

  “I love you too, Jax. Now take me inside.”

  Epilogue

  Seven Months Later —Leila

  Jaxon and I decided we wanted to have a small wedding on a private beach. Only family and close friends. We kept the guest list to under fifty people, which was harder than you’d think.

  Brody insisted we get married at his beach house in North Caicos on Parrot Cay. It was secluded and perfect. Jaxon was a little bothered by the idea at first, not wanting Brody to have the ability to crush my dream wedding. I assured him Brody wouldn’t do that.

  Thankfully, I was right.

  On Saturday, September 12th, in front of our daughter, family, and friends, on a white sandy beach with crystal-clear water in the background, I married the love of my life. He wore a white button-down shirt, un-tucked with the sleeves rolled, and a pair of vintage faded blue jeans. Pure Jaxon.

  I wore a simple, yet elegant white silk wedding dress. It was a gorgeous A-line with an open back with crisscrossing straps and deep V neckline. We were both barefoot. After the ceremony, we danced under the stars to Thomas Rhett’s “Die a Happy Man.”