My Serenity

by M. Clarke

  I had imagined a thousand images of Seth working with a car on my drive there, but this sight was not one of them. Seth was washing a black car without a T-shirt on, shaking his fine ass to the beat of the song. The car was old, maybe a fixed-up Mustang. But holy cow! He looked so droolworthy, I couldn’t peel my eyes off him. I could even picture this on a calendar. I thought about walking to the other side so he could see me, but decided to stare at him a little bit longer.

  Though the shop was closed, he had kept the back open to wash the car. I had been at auto shops before to get my car fixed, but everything about this place seemed so interesting, from the unfinished car jacked up—maybe to get an oil change—to the tools adorning the walls, to the spare tires at the far back. Smelling like grease and oil, something about this auto shop felt masculine.

  “Josie?”

  I shifted my gaze when I heard Elijah’s voice. Seth hadn’t told me he was going to be there.

  Seth looked behind him. His face flushed red. “Josie? How long have you been there?”

  Instead of answering him, I pointed behind him, covering my mouth from laughing so hard. When Seth turned, he dropped his hose. Elijah had his arms crossed with his eyebrows lifted.

  “Shit! I’m so sorry.” Seth looked mortified.

  When Seth had turned to look at me, the stream of water from his hose went straight to Elijah. He was dripping wet. I had to admit, Elijah looked real good, but I could understand his unpleasantness.

  “Seth, you’re lucky Josie’s here. You’re also lucky you’re my friend.” He stood there, dripping wet. A towel landed on Elijah’s head. “Thanks,” he mumbled. Seth had thrown it to him with a nervous laugh. Elijah patted himself dry and threw the towel on the table. “Now, it’s my turn.”

  Seth raised the hose that was still spewing water, but did not aim it directly at Elijah. “Want war?”

  Elijah let out a boisterous laugh. “Whoa, Seth. I was just joking. I was going to go home when Josie came. You didn’t have to get me all wet. I get the message.” Elijah strutted toward me. “See you later, Josie. Now it’s your turn to help Seth wash his car.” He leaned closer to me so only I could hear. “Make sure to get him good for me.” He winked, looked over his shoulder giving Seth a smile, and left.

  “Don’t even think about it.” Seth had already assumed what Elijah had said. Tossing me a soapy sponge from the bucket, he started to lather up the car with another one.

  “Think about what?” I played off innocently.

  Seth bent low to clean the tires. “I know what he said to you.”

  “I’ll only tell if you let me take you out to dinner.” My words came out like I was singing a song as I cleaned the trunk.

  “That’s fine, but I’m paying.” Seth dropped the sponge back into the bucket and picked up the hose. “How was work?” He changed the subject.

  Seeing that he was done and the car was all soapy, I did the same with my sponge. Seth guided the water over the roof of the car, letting it run down.

  “Work was fine. I was tired, but after you texted me, I suddenly got a dose of energy.” I backed away when Seth sprayed toward the trunk. Water splashed toward me. I jerked back just in time. “Trying to get me wet, Seth?”

  Seth stopped moving the hose and turned to me. With a wicked grin he said, “I can make you wet more ways than one.” As if he hadn’t said those words that made me all hot and lusting for him, he got right back to hosing the car.

  I blushed from his words and stepped out of his line of vision. Did he just say that to me? Was I reading his words and expression wrong? I was sure he was flirting with me, and I liked it, a lot.

  Seth went to the other side, rinsing the tires. “Do you have to go home at a certain time?”

  “No. I don’t work tomorrow, but I work on Tuesday. How about you?”

  “I’m always working. I’m trying to hire two managers, one for here, and another at the restaurant. I have to get things in order before I leave. Though I do have someone in mind for the auto shop, I don’t for the restaurant. I’ve been interviewing, but I haven’t found anyone qualified yet. Maybe I’m being too picky.”

  “Nah. You have to be, especially for that position. It’s a lot of work.” Looking down, I let water mixed with soapy scum outline my tennis shoes as it passed me. “I know this because I was one for three months. My boss trusted me to take over when she went on her maternity leave. Of course, I had been working there for years and knew the ins and outs of the restaurant. It was actually a great experience and really rewarding. I would love to be a manager of my own or someone else’s restaurant one day, but I’m not qualified. No one is going to hire me for that position.”

  Seth came back around. “Don’t say that, Josie. You should go for it. Write down everything you’ve done on your resume, especially when you were a manager. Three months is still three months. If not, then maybe you can work your way up. You have to start from somewhere. We all do.”

  “I guess you’re right. I’m just afraid of rejection.”

  There was something comforting and understanding in Seth’s eyes when he approached me. I didn’t know he was going to embrace me. “No one can reject you, Josie. You’re perfect,” he murmured against my ear. His sweet breath brushed against my skin.

  I melted from Seth’s words. How he could be so sweet like that was unnerving, more so because I so badly wanted to make him mine. But at the same time, I was afraid of the consequences if we really started dating. Right now, we were meeting our expectations because we were getting to know each other. Not the way we knew each other in sixth grade, but in a mature way. A part of me was afraid that Seth might not like the grown-up version of me.

  When Seth wrapped his arms around me, I shrieked from the coldness. I felt something icy shoot up my shirt, and then it deepened and spread. Seth must have brought the hose to his front, and when I returned his hug, I must have pressed the release button, allowing water to flow again after Seth had closed it a second earlier. We both jerked back in surprise, but instead of moving away, we locked eyes in shock and let the water drench us.

  Seth’s lips spread to a wide grin, and then he clenched his jaw from the cold, and I did the same. What he did next, I would’ve never guessed or I would’ve stopped him. He took the hose and pointing it down on both of our heads. Water streamed down as if we were taking a shower. In shock at what he’d done, I had no words.

  “I couldn’t help it. I had to cool myself down,” he laughed, turning off the switch, still standing in front of me. “It was either this or”—he met my eyes before he shifted them away—“take you into the back and have my way with you.”

  I didn’t hesitate to reply, “I would’ve preferred the latter.”

  Seth stopped fidgeting with the hose. Before I could blink, he dropped it like he’d had enough. He picked me up so fast that I didn’t see it coming. I gasped when his lips heatedly pressed into mine. My legs instinctively wrapped around his hips, and my arms gripped his shoulders. Feeling his hungry tongue ungluing me, I became dizzy with lust. Next thing I knew, we were inside the shop. Still kissing me, he reached out his hand to push a couple of switches, one to close the garage and the other to turn on the light.

  Seth set me down on a workbench against the wall. With his eyes boring into mine, he took off my T-shirt. “I don’t think you need that right now. I need to get as much of you as I can.”

  With my bra still on and lingering drops of water streaming down my body, I pressed on his chest. I wanted to feel all of him too, but knowing Seth, this was just a tease. He wouldn’t let it get that far, especially when it would be our first time.

  Feeling the warmth of his body, I craved him even more. The sensation got worse when he slowed things down and tenderly kissed along my neck and down to my shoulder, while his hand caressed my back. Erotic chills shot through me and I had to fight the urge to rip off his pants.

  “I can’t believe we’re here.” His lips grazed the tip of my bre
ast. I so badly wanted to take off my bra for him, but I didn’t want to make the first move.

  Shuddering, I tried to find my breath to say something in return, but I couldn’t. My head was spinning in pleasure, lost to Seth’s touch. I heard a low growl when my hands glided smoothly along his wet chest. Everywhere his lips brushed, electrifying tingles shot down to my sex. My chest rose and fell to the rhythm and motion of Seth’s tongue on my flesh. The lower he got, the hotter I felt, and the temptation grew immensely strong.

  When his hand slid behind my ass, his lips returned to mine. Slightly lifting me up, he pulled me to him and rocked like he was fucking me. Holy shit! I was going to lose it. Feeling his hard-on had me on fire. Every inch of me burned and yearned for him to be inside me. My muscles weakened and my legs trembled with an ache so strong, I thought I was going to come from this action alone.

  Seth pulled back, looking overcome and dazed. His chest rose and fell to the beat of his panting. Raking his hair, he gazed around for something. “I better stop before I either break the workbench or…it’s not clean here.” He went to the other side, opened a cabinet, and pulled out a towel and handed it to me. “Take off your clothes.” He paused with a sly grin. “I’m going to dry them in the dryer. My mom hated when my dad would bring towels from work to be washed at home, so my dad bought this washer and dryer. Lucky for us that he did. You can go to my dad’s office. On top of the shelf is a stack of employee T-shirts. Put one on. Don’t worry. It’s new.”

  “Thanks,” I said, walking as gracefully as I could to the office. Having Seth’s warmth replaced by cool air, my shorts stuck uncomfortably to me. I was pretty sure I was waddling like a duck.

  After I undressed, I put on a large-sized T-shirt so that it would look like a dress on me and walked out.

  From the look Seth gave me, I knew he approved. He arched his brow with a wicked grin. “I think I like you wearing the ugly employee T-shirt. You make it look so—appealing.”

  I didn’t know how to answer that. My lips naturally twisted. I was pretty sure he understood my sudden shyness. “Why yellow?” I asked, staring at the words that read Phil’s Auto Shop.

  “My mom’s favorite color,” he answered.

  I nodded in understanding. “That was sweet of your dad to do that.”

  “Nah.” He let out a snort. “My mom probably twisted his arm to get her way. I’m just joking. My dad was very good to my mom. Always asked for her opinion. He listened to all her advice except when it came to his health. Anyway, it was his choice.” Seth sounded upset, and I knew it wasn’t at his dad, but more about how he’d passed away. “Got something for me?”

  “Here you go.” I handed Seth my shorts and T-shirt, then blushed when I gave him my bra and my thong. I think Seth blushed more than me.

  CHAPTER 22

  Seth

  “Where are we going?” Josie shouted.

  I tilted my head but kept one eye on the road. “You don’t have to shout, Josie. I can hear you.”

  “Oh, sorry. This is the perfect speed. Thanks for not going so fast.”

  “I’m keeping my promise.”

  Josie squeezed me and that was her way of thanking me.

  I’d known that one day my dad’s motorcycle would be mine, but I never thought it would be this soon. Happiness washed over me as I recalled how excited my dad was when he purchased his Harley Davidson, but then it was replaced by sadness at the thought too. He rarely rode it because Mom disapproved, but once in a while he would take it out for a short drive. His second pride and joy was the old black Mustang. Now, they were both mine. But I would gladly give them up to have my dad back.

  I wanted the first person on the bike to be someone special. I’m glad it was my first love, Josie. She was scared at first, but after I had placed a helmet on her head and gave her my leather jacket, while I wore my dad’s, she looked calm.

  “It’s a surprise. Just enjoy the ride.”

  I went as slow as I could on the freeway so she wouldn’t hate being on the bike. Knowing it was dangerous, I was on high alert. Now I understood why Elijah felt the need to replace his bike with a car for Alex’s sake. There were a lot of things I understood after spending time with Josie. She was changing me, making me different, but not in a bad way. She was opening me up, making me feel alive, and bringing out the best in me in every way possible. I guessed love could do that to you. That being said, I guessed I was falling in love.

  After I parked the bike, I helped Josie off. Taking off our helmets, I placed them on the bike.

  “Where are we?” she asked again. “Are you taking me hiking, Seth?”

  I chuckled at her words. “No, I want to show you something amazing. It’s also the spot where Elijah is going to propose to Alex come Saturday. So don’t tell him I brought you here. This is their special place. Though he wouldn’t mind sharing it, I think he would prefer sharing it after he proposes. Until I find our special spot, this will have to do.”

  “Our special spot?” Josie smiled, repeating my words under her breath. I was pretty sure those words weren’t meant for me to hear.

  “Be careful. It’s slippery.” I held her hand and helped her down the gravel track. Once past that section, the city and the mountain beyond came into view.

  “Wow, Seth. It’s beautiful.” She gasped.

  Josie and I held hands, mesmerized by our vast view. The sun adorned the sky with red and violet hues, giving its glory for the last time today. As we stood there watching the sunset and the brightness dimming, exchanging with the darkness, I realized why Elijah came here when his brother passed away. There were no words spoken here. It was the peace and harmony that radiated from the surroundings, filling up my soul with an indescribable wholeness. A weight had lifted off me that I had no idea was there.

  The stress of my dad’s death, my mother in agonized grief, my brother not calling home, running the restaurant and the auto shop—all of it had piled up on me. Too busy on the go and too busy thinking about what had to be done next that I hadn’t realized the pressure, sadness, anger, and guilt that had built up inside me. Here, I felt it all melting away. Though I knew it was temporary, it was what I needed.

  Josie’s fingers intertwined with mine, tightening her grip. She didn’t say a word, but I could tell she felt the same way as me, especially when she took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, as if to let go of all that was happening with her. Though I had no idea what she was hiding from me, I recalled that during camping she had said she’d tell me when she felt brave. What could be so terrible that she couldn’t share with me? I could understand though. We were just getting to know each other. But still, to me it was as if she’d never left. Feelings for her never left. The closeness never left.

  Josie turned to me and rested her arms around my shoulders. “I see why Elijah wants to propose to Alex here. It provides the purest feeling you can achieve. A place where all the hurt, anger, and bad things vanish, and you become renewed—if that makes sense?” She twisted her lips into a playful grin. “Thank you for risking your friendship with Elijah and for bringing me here. It means a lot that you would do that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt even remotely as close to peace as I’m feeling right now.”

  I wasn’t sure, but I thought I saw Josie’s eyes pooling with tears. She didn’t give me a chance to inspect. “Wow, look at that.” She pointed to the sky. “I can see the moon and the stars appearing out of the darkness. I’m seeing day meeting night, or night meeting day, or whatever. We’re so busy that we hardly get to see the miracle of Mother Nature.”

  Josie was right. I felt so small, compared to what I was seeing—seeing things I couldn’t control. Already knowing I couldn’t have controlled my dad’s health or his death, I began to release my guilt and anger. I thought a part of me was holding on to those feelings so that I could hold on to him. I was afraid that if I didn’t have those feelings, that I would forget my dad. It was then when I realized that it was okay to let it go—to let a pie
ce of my dad go. But it still hurt like hell.

  “Josie.” She dropped her arm to her side and turned to me when I called her name. “Do you want to tell me something? Is there anything you want to share? Anything I can say or do to help you?”

  She parted her lips to speak, but she didn’t say anything. She paused as if to think. “Do you need help at your restaurant? I mean…I don’t want to force you to give me a job, but if you need more waitresses, I would love to interview for it. My current boss is cutting hours. Either I’m going to have to look for full-time, or I’ll have to work part-time somewhere else.”

  It was not what I’d thought she would say, but it was a start to letting down her pride by letting me know she needed a job. One baby step at a time to get her to trust me, I thought. “Sure. When can you start?”

  “Really?” Her eyes beamed with excitement.

  “When can you start?”

  “I think next week.”

  “Great. It’s a date. I mean—it’s a deal. I mean—” Before I could say another word, Josie planted her lips on mine…quick, soft, and like the way she had kissed me the first time.

  “You’re my hero,” she mumbled, taking me back to sixth grade, the day I’d given her a piggyback ride to our line. And I couldn’t help smiling at that thought.

  “It’s time to go.” I grabbed her hand, leading the way. “By the way, you look absolutely stunning in my leather jacket,” I complimented her as we walked up the trail to my bike.

  “And you look utterly delicious.”

  “You’re wearing mine, and I’m wearing my dad’s,” I explained.

  “Your dad is proud of you, Seth,” she muttered, putting on her helmet, while I did the same.

  After we settled on the bike, I took off but a little bit faster. We left our heaven behind us and drove back to reality. I wished I could keep going and never stop.