Dirty Desires

by Michelle Love

  She nodded. “And on Sunday evening it will bring you guys back home. Friday and Saturday night you’ll stay with us, doing all kinds of fun things. It’ll be a blast.” She ran her arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “And you and Ashton will finally get a chance to see where things can go.”

  “He really said he wouldn’t go unless I went?” I had to ask, just to be sure.

  “He did.” She ran her finger over my shoulder as she pulled her hand away from me. “So, what do I tell Artimus, Nina?”

  “Tell him that I would love to join you guys for the weekend and I appreciate the invitation.”

  She furrowed her brow. “Is there a ‘but’ coming?”

  Shaking my head, I laughed. “No. There’s not a but coming. I would love to come and appreciate the invitation, silly. Now tell me what kind of clothes I should bring. I want to look my best all weekend long if Ashton is going to be there.”

  My chance had come, and I wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

  Chapter Four

  Ashton

  With my bags packed and ready to go, all I had to do was sit and wait for Artimus and the others to arrive in the limousine. I sipped on a rum and Coke to help dull the nervous edge I couldn’t shake.

  I really had no idea where the words had come from when Artimus had asked me if I wanted to spend the weekend with him and his wife as well as Duke and Lila. I’d said I would, but only if Nina came along too.

  He’d agreed immediately, a wide smile on his face as he’d punched me in the arm, calling me an old dog for some reason.

  I believed the fact that Nina and I had been friends for so long was the reason I had so many reservations about what I’d gotten myself into. I didn’t want to lose her as a friend if I couldn’t do the romantic relationship thing with her. I didn’t think I could do it with anyone, and I didn’t want her to think it wasn’t anything against her.

  If I could figure it out again, Nina would most definitely be the woman I’d choose to dive into those dark and treacherous waters with. Waters I knew I wasn’t ready to jump into.

  So that’s why I kept mulling over why I’d given Artimus that ultimatum in the first place. If I couldn’t get into anything romantic with Nina, then what the hell was I doing making sure she was going to be with me all weekend?

  Nothing I did was making much sense to me. And it had all started with Nina bringing me that first cup of coffee. Somehow that first conversation had opened a gate that had been closed for many years, locked up tight, never to be re-opened. But she’d managed to open it without me even realizing what she was doing. I doubted she even realized the effect she’d had on me these last couple weeks.

  When my cell buzzed with a text from Artimus telling me they were pulling up to my building, I picked up my suitcase and headed out the door. My heart was racing because I knew I was about to embark on a journey I wasn’t ready for in the least.

  When I got to the car, the driver opened the door, and I saw everyone inside except for Nina. “She changed her mind?”

  Julia and Lila laughed while Duke and Artimus grinned at me. “We’re picking her up last, lover-boy. No need to worry,” Artimus teased.

  The driver put my bag in the trunk as I slipped into the large car, scowling at my so-called friends. “I would rather you not call me that, Artimus.”

  I felt like a kid in junior high whose friends were setting him up or something. Only I was the one who’d asked for Nina to be invited—they hadn’t had anything to do with it. My head was all over the place, and apparently, it showed.

  Julia opened the fridge of the minibar and tossed me a cold beer. “Here, have one of these, Ashton. It’ll help calm those nerves.”

  I opened the bottle as I asked, “Does it really show that much?”

  Lila nodded. “Yep. You shouldn’t be nervous. Nina really likes you.”

  I knew she did. I wasn’t nervous about that. I was just nervous about everything else.

  The beer helped a bit, and when we stopped at Nina’s apartment building, I was feeling a little more confident. Julia pulled out her phone. “I’ll just text her real quick.”

  “No, let me go get her.” I pushed the door open. “Um, does anyone know what the apartment number is?”

  “Six seventy-five,” Lila told me.

  I headed out of the car and went up to the sixth floor. My palms were sweaty, my stomach tight, my head felt like there was a balloon in there instead of a brain, but I was doing it.

  I got to the door and rang the bell then wiped my hands on my jeans and shook my head to clear it. When a man about my age opened the door, I just about freaked out. “Hey!”

  He stood tall, looking me up and down. “And you are?”

  I stuck my hand out. “Ashton Lange. And you are?”

  “Kyle.” He shook my hand. “What can I do for you?”

  “I’m here for Nina.” I gulped as he let my hand go. His dark eyes pierced me as he eyed me. She had never said a word about any man who might be staying with her. “Do you live here?”

  “Yep,” came his response.

  “With Nina?” I asked.

  “Yep.” He stepped back. “She’s in the bathroom. You can wait here if you want to.” He walked away, shouting, “Nina, someone’s here for you.”

  The man was big and bulky. His dark hair was cut short. I didn’t really see him as Nina’s type. But I guessed he had to be if they were living together.

  All of my newfound confidence and determination about trying to take things further with Nina crashed into the pit of my stomach. I’d thought we’d be on the same page about this little weekend getaway, but obviously we weren’t if she was with someone else.

  Maybe they had an open relationship. Or maybe she just wanted to stay friends. Whatever it was, I was feeling mighty jealous.

  A door opened, and Nina came out of the bathroom, running her hands over her dress. Lilac lace covered a purple silk short sundress, and she had no shoes on. “Ashton, you didn’t have to come up to get me.”

  “I didn’t mind doing it.” I jerked my head toward the man who stood in the kitchen, looking inside the fridge. “And who’s he?”

  “Kyle?” she asked.

  I nodded. “And what’s he to you?” It came out sounding much gruffer than I’d have liked, but I couldn’t stop myself.

  “My roommate,” she said, looking at me like I had mush for brains—and I couldn’t blame her in that moment—before walking to her bedroom. “Let me grab my bag.”

  I looked at Kyle, and he grinned at me as he raised his dark brows. “I had to give you the business, dude.”

  With a shrug, I said, “Did you?”

  Nina came out with her bag in hand and I immediately took it from her. “You don’t have to ...”

  “I want to,” I told her as we headed to the door.

  The elevator wasn’t far from her door, and it was nearly full of people when the doors opened for us. She and I didn’t say so much as one word all the way down. Then we walked out of the building, still not saying a thing.

  Was this how the weekend would be, the two of us together in awkward silence?

  The driver put her bag in the back and we got into the car. There were three bench-type seats, one along the back, and the other two on each side. Duke and Lila sat on one side, Julia and Artimus sat on the back seat. That left the other seat free, and Nina and I took it.

  Lila leaned forward, two beers in her hands. “Here ya go.”

  We both took the drinks she offered, and I couldn’t help but notice how we were both quick to take sips. It seemed she was as nervous as I was. And I didn’t like that.

  I always tried to make everyone around me feel comfortable. So, my nerves took a backseat as I focused on making Nina feel relaxed. Sitting back, I laid my arm on the back of the seat behind her. “So, besides that guy, who else lives in that apartment with you?”

  “Sandy. It’s just us three—Kyle, Sandy, and me.” She took another dr
ink as she sat back and got comfortable, which was a relief to see. “We like having Kyle living there. He’s like our guard dog.”

  “I didn’t know you had a male roomie, Nina,” Lila said, looking a little confused. “What else have you been keeping a secret from us, your best friends?”

  Nina laughed, the sound tickling my ears and making me smile. “I didn’t think it was a secret. I don’t recall anyone ever asking me about my roommates, so the particulars on that subject never came up.”

  I took the opportunity to learn more about her life. “So, tell us about the people you live with.”

  She turned her head to look at me. “Really? That’s kind of boring.”

  “Not to me, it’s not.” I moved my hand to rest on her shoulder. “I want to know about your life outside of work.”

  With a shrug, she went on, “Sandy is a couple of years older than I am. I hope I’m a bit more settled down at 25 than she is. She’s quite the party animal. Kyle is a thirty-something divorcee with a young son he gets every other weekend. Kyle doesn’t go out much; he’s kind of reclusive since the divorce. He caught his wife cheating and doesn’t trust himself to pick the right kind of woman.”

  “He’s got a kid, huh?” I felt kind of bad for the guy then. And I found myself wondering what would have happened to me if Natalia and I had already had a child when she died. Would things have been different with me? Would I have dealt with things differently if I had a child to care for?

  Nina’s hand on my leg stole my thoughts, and I looked down at it as it rested on my thigh. “His situation is different than yours, Ashton. Don’t try to compare them.”

  How did she know what I was thinking?

  I shook my head as I looked at her. “Can you read my mind or something?”

  Lila laughed. “Your face told all of us what you were thinking. You’re kind of an open book—when you don’t realize that anyone is looking at you, that is.”

  Everyone in that car had only known each other for two years, and yet we all knew each other very well. It was almost as if we’d been friends forever.

  Nina moved her hand and took another drink of the beer before saying, “So, what are we going to do tonight in the Hamptons, Julia?”

  She jerked a thumb toward Artimus. “Ask the master of ceremonies here. I don’t have a clue.”

  Artimus was quick to respond. “Tonight we’re having a game night. Charades, Pictionary, then strip poker.”

  Nina nearly choked on her sip of beer. “I’m out of that last one!”

  Artimus had a good laugh. “No, everyone is in. We’ll make it interesting by bulking everyone up in lots of clothing. The first one down to their original clothes loses the game. And you girls get to learn how to play poker, so you can start joining us for our weekly poker nights. Us guys miss you girls on those nights. It’ll be a fun activity we can all do together.”

  Julia smiled at her husband. “You miss me when you play poker, babe?”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “I do.”

  Watching them, I got a funny feeling deep in my heart. That feeling felt a little too much like loneliness—like I was missing out on something that I’d stubbornly refused to dwell on.

  It sounded to me like Artimus had a bonding weekend planned, and that meant Nina and I would be subjected to activities that would bring us even closer than we already were.

  And as great as that sounded, it also sounded kind of horrifying to me.

  Chapter Five

  Nina

  Artimus’ game night proved to be fun for all. I wasn’t any good at playing poker, so I was the one who lost that game. I was thankful for the many layers of clothing Artimus provided for us, or I would’ve been bare-assed right in front of all of them.

  Saturday morning had me waking up in the bedroom next to Ashton’s. It was a little awkward when the other couples headed off to bed and he and I walked down the long hallway to our separate bedrooms.

  I thought he was about to kiss me the night before, but in the end, he merely pulled my hand to his lips and kissed the top of it before telling me he had a great time and wishing me a good night.

  My sleep was pretty good. I dreamt about him, and that was almost as good as getting to be with the real man. After a couple of years of dreams and fantasies about Ashton, I’d resigned myself to the fact that that was likely as much as I’d ever have.

  But now I had a perfect opportunity right in front of me, and I was going to make something happen. I wanted a real kiss from him. And I was going to do my best to entice him into giving me that kiss in any way I could.

  We passed a pleasant morning together, taking a leisurely breakfast and lingering over our coffees before parting ways and then reconvening for lunch. I’d headed up to my bedroom to freshen up after lunch when I heard a knock at my door. Ashton called out through the closed door, “Hey, we’re all going down to the pool. Put on your bathing suit and meet us down there, Nina.”

  “Okay. Give me a minute.” I went to get my suit out of my suitcase.

  “Sure thing. I’ll see you down there.” He left my door, and I looked at the two piece I’d pulled out.

  It wasn’t daring or especially sexy. Just a regular royal blue bikini, but it was all I had. “Why haven’t I ever invested in a sexy swimsuit?” I muttered to myself with regret.

  Here it was—my time to shine and show off my body for Ashton, and all I had was a humdrum bathing suit. I knew Lila and Julia would both be wearing something hot and sexy.

  With no other choice, I put the thing on and wrapped myself in a white towel before heading downstairs to the indoor pool room. I heard splashing and laughing as I got closer.

  When I stepped inside, I saw there was a volleyball net strung up, separating the two halves of the pool. They were playing girls against boys.

  Ashton was sitting on the edge, waiting for me to arrive so we could join them together. “Great, you’re here, Nina. Come on.” He jumped into the pool, and I walked gracefully down the steps and into the water.

  Julia and Lila had chosen the shallower water near the steps, which I was glad for. “Okay, so what’s the score so far?” I asked them.

  “Boys three, girls one,” Lila said. “I hope you can bring some heat, Nina.”

  Cracking my knuckles, I informed them, “I was on the high school volleyball team. I was dubbed the spike queen.” I looked at the three men on the other side of the net. “I hope you guys are ready to get your butts kicked.”

  They laughed as we all got into position, then Ashton served the ball over to us. Lila made a successful volley back to them, and Artimus sent it back our way. Julia managed to hit it back over, then Ashton came splashing forward, hitting it back, making it just over the net.

  I saw my shot. “Lila, set.”

  She hit the ball up high into the air, and I jumped up, spiking it over the net with my fist.

  SMACK!

  “Shit!” Ashton shouted. “Ow!”

  “Nina?” Artimus yelled.

  The glory was all gone as I saw blood in the water. The ball had hit Ashton right in the nose. “God! Ashton, I’m so sorry!” I swam under the net to get to him. Blood was running in rivers out from under his hand, which was covering his nose.

  “It’s okay,” he said with a high, nasally tone to his normally deep voice.

  “No, it’s not.” I felt terrible. No, worse than terrible. I felt sick that I had done that to him. “Come on. This is my fault; I’ll take care of you.”

  Julia handed me a dark red towel as we all got out of the pool. “Here, use this to put pressure on his nose. That should stop the bleeding.”

  The guys helped Ashton to a lounge chair and laid him back, and I took a seat next to him. “Move your hands and I’ll use this towel to stop the bleeding.”

  When he pulled his hands away, I gasped.

  “Shit! Is it that bad?” he asked.

  It was awful. “No. No,” I lied as I put the towel on his nose very gently.�
�� I looked at Julia. “Do you think you can get me a little baggie of ice?”

  She nodded. “Damn, that’s going to leave a mark.”

  Ashton’s eyes were bloodshot as he looked at me and asked, “It is?”

  I tried to downplay it. “It’s going to be all right. No reason to worry.”

  After Julia came back with the ice, the others headed inside to change. Pool-time fun was over, and it was all my fault. My eyes must’ve conveyed how guilty I felt because Ashton took me by the wrist. “It was an accident, Nina. Don’t look so guilt-stricken. I’ll be okay. Sure, a little bruised and battered, but I’ll get over that.”

  Biting my lip as I pulled the towel back to see if the bleeding had stopped, I found I had hit him high up on the bridge of his nose. Both eyes would surely turn black, but it didn’t seem to be broken. “At least there’s no bone jutting out. That’s a good sign.”

  “I would say so.” He laughed then stopped abruptly. “Ouch. Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”

  “Noted. No funny stuff with you for the rest of the day.” Covering the plastic bag of ice with a hand towel Julia had brought with it, I placed it on the bridge of his nose. “If you keep this on for a while, I think it will lessen the swelling.”

  “It’s so cold,” he whimpered.

  Leaning over him, I kissed his cheek. “I really am sorry, Ashton.”

  Even bloodshot, his cerulean eyes were still gorgeous as he looked into mine. “Don’t be. It got you this close to me. That can’t be a bad thing. Not in my book.”

  There were so many things I wanted to ask him, to tell him. But I knew that now wasn’t the time to do it. I just had to let the moment be for now.

  “I think we can move you, now that the bleeding has stopped. You’re going to want a shower. I’ll help you get to your room.” I got up and took his hand, helping him up too.

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I wrapped mine around his waist to make sure he was steady. “Thanks, Nina. I am a little woozy.”

  We headed inside and then up the stairs. He stumbled a little, and I felt his arm go tighter around me. “You okay, Ashton?”