Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “How large is the staff of servants?” Louisa asked.

  Mr. Hurst shrugged, “I remember my grandmother always had a cook, at least two maids and a footman. We would have use of the stables and carriages of course.”

  “And how large is the house?”

  Smiling at his wife warmly, Mr. Hurst replied, “It is perfectly sized for a young couple anxious to begin their family.”

  Louisa blushed and fussed at her husband. “Mr. Hurst! Really! Remember we are not in our bedchamber!”

  “Then, shall we tell Charles that we shall desert him after Twelfth Night?”

  Louisa heard a door slam upstairs and knew that Caroline was finally ready for their visitors. “Yes, I believe we should retreat to Hampshire, Mr. Hurst.”

  The parlour door opened as Caroline fussed at the footman, “I expect you to open the door for me when I begin my descent down the stairs! Do not wait for me to reach the bottom of the stairs!”

  “But Caroline, how is the man to know if you wish to enter the parlour, the library, the dining hall or the outdoors?” asked Mr. Hurst.

  “The man should know by my dress and the time of day!”

  “So, you never go out the front door?”

  “Mr. Hurst, you are most disagreeable today. Why did you not go shooting with Charles and Mr. Darcy?”

  Hurst grinned broadly, “When I heard you mention that you intended to conduct a proper high tea for Miss Bennet and Mrs. Hamilton this afternoon, I did not want to miss the lesson.”

  Catching her husband’s eye and scowling at him to rein in his language, Louisa turned to her sister and asked, “Is everything prepared, Caroline? As you requested, I left all the details for the tea at your direction.”

  “I just came down the stairs, Louisa. I have not asked for Mrs. Hobbit to attend me as of yet.”

  “The housekeeper’s name is Mrs. Hobbes,” Louisa corrected her sister.

  “Hobbes or Hobbit, it does not matter.” Caroline sniffed and walked about the room. “Did the maids leave the potpourri like I asked? The room is musty in the mornings.”

  “I believe there are bowls of potpourri on all the tables,” Louisa replied.

  “Good, now I shall send for Mrs. Hobbit to prepare before our guests arrive,” Caroline said.

  “You have waited too long, sister. It appears that our guests are punctual,” Mr. Hurst said from the window overlooking the drive.

  Louisa and Caroline joined Mr. Hurst at the window where they saw three riders – two ladies riding side saddle and the footman following behind on a third horse.

  “Those are fine horses!” Mr. Hurst exclaimed. “Look how they step.”

  “And the ladies are dressed most fashionably!” Mrs. Hurst insisted. “Their riding habits are well tailored.”

  “They are on time!” Caroline fussed. “No one arrives on time for tea! And those outfits… they…”

  “Caroline, they are wearing the latest fashions from town! We saw similar outfits in a magazine just last week.”

  Turning from the window, Caroline hurried from the parlour, calling, “Mrs. Hobbit! Mrs. Hobbit!”

  “I better go tell the footman which door to open,” Mr. Hurst told his wife. “The poor man will be waiting for her approval to take a breath if I know Caroline.”

  ++**++

  Dismounting his horse and handing the reigns to a stable boy, Barrow hurried to the mounting block where he held the horse for Miss Bennet to dismount. Once the lady was on the ground, he handed her mare off to the stable boy and then led Elizabeth’s horse to the mounting block. Slipping from the side saddle to the block, Elizabeth came down the steps to join Jane on the gravel path as Barrow led her horse toward the stables, following the stable boy.

  “It is a handsome house,” Jane said as she and Elizabeth approached Netherfield, arm-in-arm.

  Elizabeth tilted her head toward her sister and said, “I am certain that you would agree the owner is very handsome too.”

  Jane ducked her head. “Lizzy, do not push me forward. I do think Mr. Bingley is a most agreeable young man but I must be careful before I give my heart away a second time.”

  “I understand, Jane.”

  The door opened; the footman bowed and moved out of the way. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst stood in the hallway to greet the ladies.

  “Welcome to Netherfield, Miss Bennet and Mrs. Hamilton,” Mr. Hurst greeted the visitors.

  “Thank you, Mr. Hurst,” Jane replied. “Good afternoon Mrs. Hurst.”

  “Shall we?” Louisa asked leading the visitors to the parlour.

  The company in the parlour was pleasant and the conversation congenial; Jane and Elizabeth mentioned local dances, farms, and fashions. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst spoke of their home in Hampshire, the last concert they attended in town and the fall weather.

  After almost fifteen minutes, Louisa Hurst rose and asked her guests to excuse her. Once Mrs. Hurst was gone, Mr. Hurst turned to the two ladies. “My lovely wife has ventured forth to discover the location of Miss Bingley and our tea. Caroline was not expecting you to arrive on time so I fear Mrs. Hobbes does not have the tea prepared.”

  “Arrive on time?” asked Jane. “Were we too early?”

  “No Miss Bennet,” Mr. Hurst assured her. “Mrs. Hurst and I expected you to arrive on time, but Miss Bingley expected you to arrive sometime in the next hour but never on time.”

  The parlour door opened and Miss Bingley swept into the room in an unusually tight, evening gown, followed by Mrs. Hurst who pointedly ignored her sister.

  “Miss Bennet, welcome to Netherfield!” Miss Bingley said.

  “Thank you, Miss Bingley,” Jane answered. “I appreciate the invitation to join you for conversation and tea.”

  “And you brought your sister with you,” Miss Bingley noted casually.

  “Yes, I did,” Jane observed. “Elizabeth was kind enough to join me for the ride from Longbourn.”

  “We are glad to have Mrs. Hamilton join us,” Louisa said when Caroline remained silent.

  Walking to the fireplace, Miss Bingley stood with one hand on the mantel and the other artfully draped slightly behind to not interfere with the line of her gown. Elizabeth was struck by the similarity of the images on the fashion plates in magazines with Miss Bingley’s pose.

  Once she decided not to comment on the gown, Elizabeth turned to Mr. and Mrs. Hurst and said, “I find that the fall weather has invigorated me this year.”

  “I agree,” Mr. Hurst said. “The shooting has been good and I understand that Bingley is planning a fox hunt here at Netherfield.”

  “A fox hunt!” exclaimed Jane and she turned to Elizabeth. “Lizzy! Dare we ride with the gentlemen that day?”

  Elizabeth smiled broadly. “We certainly will follow the horses, ride across the pastures but ride around the fences.”

  Mr. Hurst and his wife shared a look of amusement at the excitement of the sisters, while Caroline frowned – no one paid attention to her new gown.

  “Do all the ladies ride in fox hunts in Hertfordshire?” Caroline asked.

  “My sisters and I ride each week,” Elizabeth replied, “but this will be our first fox hunt.”

  “And your riding habit will look…” unable to speak the compliment, Caroline fell silent.

  But Louisa Hurst finished it by saying, “You will look most fashionable Mrs. Hamilton.”

  “Thank you. My maid worked diligently to complete both outfits for Jane and me.”

  “Your maid sewed this outfit? Not a modiste in town?” asked Caroline in amazement.

  Tea arrived and another obstacle was revealed; Caroline’s tight gown would not allow her to sit down to pour the tea and serve her guests. Louisa took the place of the hostess to pour the tea and act as hostess while Caroline moved around the room without a tea cup.

  ++**++

  The ladies from Longbourn departed before the gentlemen returned to Netherfield from Lucas Lodge. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy entered the parlour to find only Mr
. and Mrs. Hurst.

  “Where is Caroline?” Mr. Bingley inquired of his sister.

  Mr. Hurst answered saying, “Caroline decided to change from her evening gown to an appropriate gown for the remainder of the afternoon.”

  “An evening gown; why was Caroline dressed in evening wear for an afternoon call?” Charles asked.

  Louisa smiled as she explained, “Our guests arrived on horseback, dressed in smart riding habits and Caroline rushed to change her gown to prove her stylish taste.”

  Hurst grinned. “Caroline’s gown was definitely only for an evening – she could not sit down and enjoy the tea.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Darcy, finally joining the conversation.

  “I mean that her gown was so tight, she could not sit down to pour tea and act as hostess.”

  Charles chortled and attempted to control his mirth until he caught Darcy in the same predicament whereupon they both broke out in laughter for a minute.

  “Forgive me,” Darcy begged afterwards. “I just imagined Miss Bingley attempting to sit in several chairs and failing to reach her destination.”

  Charles sobered when he said, “She will demand a new gown for certain. Louisa is there a dressmaker in Meryton?”

  “I am certain there is Charles but I would not want to subject the local seamstress to Caroline’s temper or you to the bills.”

  “Excuse me, I have some letters to write,” Mr. Darcy said as he bowed and left for the library.

  “Will you return the visit, Louisa?” asked Charles once Mr. Darcy was gone.

  “Yes, Miss Bennet invited us to join them at Longbourn in two days.”

  “Then, I believe I shall escort you,” Charles said.

  “Ah, Charles!” Mr. Hurst declared. “Are you turning into the negligent landlord already?”

  “What do you mean, Hurst?”

  “Landed gentlemen do not often ride over for visits in the afternoon,” Mr. Hurst teased. “The ladies will have their expectations raised by your appearance while the fall ploughing continues.”

  “I shall deal with tenants in the morning and business letters in the evening,” Charles replied. “An afternoon with the ladies will be my reward for my diligence and care.”

  ++**++

  In the afternoon post, Mr. Darcy received a letter from his Aunt Catherine de Bourgh. Her letter had been delivered to his home in London and added to a small bag of business letters that his butler forwarded to him at Netherfield every other day.

  ++**++

  Rosings Park

  12 October

  Nephew

  Why have you not visited to view the new gardens as I requested? The gardeners have followed my instructions closely and the new formal gardens will be magnificent in a single year I am certain. The labourers were lazy and shiftless though the steward kept them on through the excavations and plantings. You must replace the man next year – he does not follow my instructions regarding the tenants in any matters!

  I require some additional funds from the Rosings income for new gowns for Anne and myself for Christmas. We may have visitors and therefore must appear in the latest fashions.

  The steward reports that the bankers refuse to advance any more monies for mortgages on the farms. How ridiculous!

  If you will not be kind enough to appear and solve all of my problems do send instructions to the man to provide the ten pounds I require for gowns.

  Bring Georgiana and come to Kent for Christmas. Anne would be pleased to see you and I am certain I can assist Georgiana with her playing.

  You must move forward with plans for the marriage! You and Anne must marry and soon!

  Lady Catherine de Bourgh

  ++**++

  Mr. Darcy quickly responded to his aunt’s letter, sending his letter to his house in London for this butler to frank from that location.

  ++**++

  Aunt Catherine

  I am certain you remember our discussion this past summer wherein you chose to have the new gardens laid out in a single season and agreed to forego any unnecessary expenses such as new gowns. Your allowance has been spent entirely for the remainder of the year and you will not receive pen money until after Twelfth Night.

  The bankers will not advance any funds for mortgages because you have mortgaged every piece of property that is not protected by my uncle’s will and legal barriers. Your dowry purchased eight farms and you have mortgaged them to the hilt – there is no blade to pull from the scabbard in time of need from those properties.

  Your steward is an excellent man and I most fervently caution you to not meddle in the man’s appointed tasks – his good works have kept Rosings solvent while you have spent every guinea the harvests bring in. The economies that I placed on you before you began the mortgages were to build up the estate by investments but it has all been for naught.

  Aunt, there will be no marriage with my cousin. Remove that dream from your mind.

  I care not if it causes you pain – a quick stroke is preferable to a long end of such an ill-conceived plan. With your profligate spending, no sane man would accept my cousin – why should any man of sense take a penniless heiress with mortgaged farms?

  My uncle – your brother – can arrange an honourable marriage for Anne with any number of deserving officers who may have suitable incomes. With application of strict economies, Rosings could be safe from the bankers in just ten years.

  Your nephew,

  Fitzwilliam Darcy

  ++**++

  He sent the letter to London in the packet of business letters where his butler would send it to Kent without revealing the writer’s location.

  ++**++

  Chapter 17.

  A Visit to Longbourn

  On the second morning following the visit by the Bennet sisters, Mr. Bingley announced after breaking his fast that he had completed the correspondence from the previous day and could in good conscience join his sisters when they called at Longbourn that afternoon.

  “Darcy, will you join us at one of the clock?”

  “Allow me to examine my correspondence Bingley and I shall inform you before that hour.”

  “Very well, but I am leaving promptly at one,” he said with a pointed look at his youngest sister.

  While pretending to read her own short letter from an acquaintance in town, Miss Bingley's attention was quite as much engaged in watching Mr. Darcy's progress through his mail. Among his letters was one of particular interest.

  ++**++

  Pemberley

  1 November

  Mr. Darcy

  Sir, I am in receipt of an unexpected but fortuitous request from Mr. Tanner, the steward from Mount Pleasant. The man visited my home on 27 October just past to inquire if we had any lumber suitable for beams to use for construction of a new large stable he was charged to build. He is preparing the sight this fall and will build a stable in the spring large enough for thirty horses. He will also build a foaling barn and yearling barn. I arranged to take him to see the large beams and posts prepared for the gentleman in York. He returned yesterday with his foreman and they asked to purchase the entire lot. I suggested the same figure as quoted for the warehouse and he took the figure to write for approvals from the new earl. I am writing for your agreement and endorsement of the deal.

  I await your reply with instructions.

  Your faithful steward,

  Henry Barringer

  ++**++

  “This is most interesting,” Darcy told his audience. “Apparently the new Earl of Bailey is taking an interest in Mount Pleasant at last.”

  “The Earl of Bailey?” asked Charles. “Has he finally appeared?”

  “An earl?” Caroline asked. “Pemberley adjoins an earl’s estate?”

  Darcy did not explain to Miss Bingley that several of his properties touched the estates of earls, dukes and the crown. He imagined a fainting spell if Miss Bingley knew that he and the Duke of Essex climbed apple trees together as children in Kent.<
br />
  Looking at Charles, Darcy explained, “My steward says that the new earl’s agent requested the construction of a large stable – large enough to house thirty horses.”

  “Thirty horses?” Charles said. “That is a great expense is it not Darcy?”

  Darcy nodded, “I only have forty horses in the all of my stables at Pemberley and that includes my carriage and riding horses as well as ten teams for working the home farm.”

  “The Earl of Bailey must have a large fortune,” Mr. Hurst said from the table. Glancing at Caroline, he asked, “Is the man married? Does he need a rich, young wife?”

  Caroline grew attentive to Mr. Darcy’s answer as he read over the letter once again and looked up, “What did you ask Hurst? I am sorry.”

  “Is the new earl married?”

  Darcy shook his head, “I have no idea if the man is married, young, old, or an idiot. The previous earl had no children and I believe a nephew inherited but there has been little truth to any of the stories.”

  “Have you seen any reports on the new earl in the newspapers Caroline?” Louisa asked. “You read the papers most carefully for that type of information.”

  “I have not paid any attention to the speculation,” she admitted. “But I shall examine my trunk of newspapers at my first opportunity.”

  “Tell me, Darcy, will you sell lumber to the new earl?”

  Darcy nodded, “I shall sell him the lumber to build the frame, the doors and roof. They will probably use some local stone.” He paused for a moment, considering his actions and reactions. “It will build favour with the man’s servants if not with the earl himself. The lumber had been cut and shaped for a large warehouse in York but the owner died before construction began and I was worried I would not find anyone who wanted the timber.”

  ++**++

  Promptly at one of the clock, Bingley led his sisters, brother-in-law and guest from Netherfield. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley were to ride in the carriage while the other two gentlemen mounted their horses for the three-mile journey to Longbourn.