Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “I do not understand your insistence on leaving promptly at one, Charles,” Caroline complained. “I did not get my hair properly styled.”

  “But you are wearing a turban – why did your hair need to be curled if you have it hidden underneath the turban?” Charles asked.

  “A lady always has her hair styled before leaving the house!” the lady insisted as she climbed into the carriage. Leaving ahead of the carriage, Bingley and Darcy exchanged remarks on the day, brisk but sunny for early November.

  “How much longer do you think this good weather will last Darcy?”

  “There will be rain enough and then snow,” the man from Derbyshire replied. “Let us not tempt Providence to send an early winter. The tenants at home and here in Hertfordshire need a few more weeks to continue cutting fire wood and hauling coal for winter heat.

  “I do not think the previous landholder provided the tenants with any coal over the winter,” Bingley reported. “They went without heat if they did not have time to cut wood or shillings left after paying rents to purchase coal.”

  “And then the man blamed his tenants for being weak in the spring or for losing children during the cold winter.”

  “No doubt,” Bingley agreed.

  They rode in silence for a minute before Bingley said, “Darcy, I find that I like Miss Bennet’s company very much.”

  “Have you fallen in love again?” Darcy asked without looking at his friend, certain that Bingley would notice that he attempted to hide his feelings regarding the dark-haired sister.

  “Not yet love, but I find that the lady holds my attention and she has welcomed my attentions to the exclusion of others in our company,” Bingley confessed.

  “Everyone has noted the loss of attention to the outside world when society brings Charles Bingley and Miss Bennet together,” Darcy agreed with a smile.

  But he glanced back at the carriage for a moment before adding, “I encourage you to take measured steps with your addresses. We – you – must not commit and marry before spring. A winter courtship might be just the thing with an engagement in early spring and a wedding at Easter.”

  Bingley stared in wonder at his friend for a moment and then allowed a small smile to form on his lips.

  “It appears that you have given a great deal of thought to my situation, Darcy. I appreciate the consideration that you have given to the appropriate length of time for my courtship, engagement and then wedding.”

  Darcy jerked his head toward his friend for a moment until Bingley laughed at him and said, “I should like to call you ‘brother’ my friend. Miss Bennet has commented that Mrs. Hamilton mentions you quite often.”

  Disturbed to be discovered for a moment, Darcy nodded his head and asked, “For certain, Bingley?”

  Laughing again, the two men raced the rest of the way to Longbourn.

  ++**++

  During the visit, with the room filled with members of the Bennet and Lucas families; Darcy, Bingley and Mr. and Mrs. Hurst found congenial conversation. There remained no word from Mr. Bennet but the ladies of Longbourn maintained steadfastly that he would return shortly.

  The time grew long, with conversations regarding books, games and horses moving around the room. Caroline Bingley grew impatient for the conversation to turn to a subject of her choosing and interjected herself into Mr. Darcy’s conversation regarding a book he was reading passages from with Mrs. Hamilton.

  She gave a great yawn and said, “How pleasant it is to spend an afternoon with excellent books! I declare there is no enjoyment like reading! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if it does not include an excellent library.”

  No one made any reply and she cast her eyes about the room in quest for some amusement; when hearing her brother mentioning a ball to Miss Bennet, she turned towards him.

  “Charles, are you really considering a ball at Netherfield? Before you proceed, consult the wishes of the rest of your household. I am certain some among us believe a ball would be a punishment rather than a pleasure.”

  “If you mean yourself,” asserted her brother, “then you may go to bed before it begins if you wish, but as for the ball, it is quite a settled thing. As soon as I determine on a date, I shall send ‘round my cards.”

  Caroline complained, “I should like balls better if they were carried on in a different manner. It would surely be much more rational if conversation instead of dancing were made the order of the day.”

  “Much more rational, I dare say, but it would not be a ball,” Charles teased.

  Miss Bingley made no answer, and soon afterwards she rose to walk about the room. Her dress was from the latest fashions in town, and she was graceful; but Darcy failed to notice the woman and remained studious in his conversation with Mrs. Hamilton. In the desperation for his attention, Caroline stepped to Elizabeth’s side and said, “Mrs. Hamilton, let me persuade you take a turn about the room. I assure you it is very refreshing after sitting so long.”

  Elizabeth was surprised but agreed to the request largely out of a sense of obligation as a member of the host family. Caroline succeeded in gaining the attention of Mr. Darcy as he was struck by the novelty of the woman’s attention to Mrs. Hamilton.

  “Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?” Miss Bingley inquired.

  “Thank you, but no,” he said with a smile as he closed the book and placed it on a table beside the sofa where he was seated. Leaning back in his seat, he continued, “I can imagine but two motives for walking about the room together. In either case, my joining you would interfere.”

  Caroline paused in her steps to ask Elizabeth, “What could he mean? Do you understand Mr. Darcy’s meaning?”

  “Not at all,” answered Elizabeth before she caught Darcy’s eye and continued saying, “I am certain he means to be severe on us, and we must disappoint him by asking nothing about it.”

  However, Miss Bingley was incapable of disappointing Mr. Darcy in anything. “I insist sir! Explain your meaning!”

  “Very well,” he said as soon as she allowed him to speak. “A gentleman might suppose two ladies require a private word to discuss some matter of interest that you do not wish to share with the others present. Or you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking.”

  He stretched his arms across the back of the sofa, tilting his head to examine the ladies before him and continued, “If the first, I would be completely in your way, and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit across the room.”

  “Shocking!” cried Miss Bingley. “I never heard anything so abominable.”

  “I believe we should tease and laugh at him,” Elizabeth said as she again caught Darcy’s eye for a moment and returned the look of appraisal over his form leaning back on the sofa. Darcy blushed to be so examined.

  Caroline protested, “We shall not attempt to laugh at the Master of Pemberley.”

  “So Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at!” announced Elizabeth. “That is an uncommon advantage, and I hope it will remain uncommon for I dearly love to laugh.”

  “Do you not agree that the wisest and the best of men may be rendered ridiculous by a person that views life as a joke?” Darcy asked Elizabeth.

  “I am not one of those people,” replied Elizabeth. “I try never to ridicule what is wise and good but I do laugh at follies and nonsense whenever I can.”

  “Your examination of Mr. Darcy is over, I presume,” sighed Miss Bingley to interrupt the conversation. “Pray what is the result?”

  Ignoring Caroline, Elizabeth asked, “Do you have any defects, Mr. Darcy?”

  “Indeed I do,” insisted Darcy. “My temper is too little yielding; certainly, too little for the convenience of the world. I struggle to forget the follies and nonsense of others. And I never forget their offenses against myself. My temper would perhaps be called resentful.”

  Elizabeth frowned as Darcy catalogued his failings so freely for her study of his character. He did not smile as he c
oncluded his failures by saying, “My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”

  Now Elizabeth insisted, “Implacable resentment is a dark shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I cannot laugh at it.”

  Tired of a conversation in which she had no share, Miss Bingley asked, “Mrs. Bennet, may we have some music?”

  With the permission of their hostess, Caroline turned to the nearest Bennet sister and asked, “Miss Mary, would you mind if I open the pianoforte?”

  The third Bennet sister assisted Caroline with opening the pianoforte but returned to sit with Mr. Lucas to enjoy Miss Bingley’s excellent performance. Mr. Darcy, after a few moments' recollection, was not sorry for the distraction of the music.

  Finally, Mrs. Hurst prevailed upon her brother to recognize that they had stayed longer than manners allowed and thus the day with long conversations at Longbourn ended.

  ++**++

  Chapter 18.

  The Ladies Visit Netherfield Again

  Once again Miss Bennet and Mrs. Hamilton came to Netherfield for tea though this time their number included Mrs. Bennet, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia. The carriage seated the six ladies in gowns suitable for an afternoon tea with minimal wrinkles. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy came to the stoop to help the ladies descend from the carriage and Bingley escorted Mrs. Bennet and Miss Bennet inside, while Darcy escorted Mrs. Hamilton on one arm and Miss Mary on the other.

  Following behind, they all heard Lydia’s complaint, “See Kitty! We’ll never be treated as ladies while our sisters remain at home. We must see them married so we may have precedence and escorts!”

  “Lydia! Hush, everyone can hear you!” hissed Kitty.

  “La! And what do I care if everyone hears me!” Lydia continued in her complaint. “Mr. Darcy does not think well of us already and Mr. Bingley is so besotted with Jane that I could set his pants afire and he would not notice!”

  Jane blushed with embarrassment and Mrs. Bennet’s face was unreadable to all but Mr. Darcy – he recognized the look that he had seen on Elizabeth’s face when she was angry. He glanced toward Elizabeth and she blushed as fiercely as Jane and Mary. Just inside the front door, Mrs. Bennet asked Mr. Bingley for the use of his library for an interview with her youngest daughter and upon receiving the gentleman’s permission, she took Lydia by the hand and the footman escorted the two ladies into the library while everyone else entered the parlour.

  Through the open door, Darcy noticed Caroline glancing at the letter he had begun to write but left on the table when the Bennet carriage arrived. She quickly hurried to the door to greet the guests.

  “I wonder if Mrs. Bennet could chastise Miss Bingley for Charles this afternoon after dealing with her daughter.”

  “Miss Bennet, I am certain that I saw your mother in the carriage,” Mrs. Hurst said. “Is she well?”

  Mrs. Hamilton spoke up, “Our youngest sister did not feel well as we descended from the carriage. I think that the ride did not agree with her.”

  “Mamma will see to her comfort and join us shortly,” Jane assured Mrs. Hurst. “Mr. Bingley allowed the use of the library to see to her comfort.”

  “The child will not be ill on the library floor, will she?” asked Miss Bingley.

  “I am certain Miss Lydia will not be ill,” Mr. Bingley assured his sister.

  “Forgive me, Mrs. Hamilton, I must finish and then post a letter to my sister this afternoon,” Darcy explained after escorting her to a comfortable chair near the windows. Once everyone had been greeted and selected locations on the sofas or chairs for conversation, Miss Bingley deserted Miss Kitty and Miss Mary to move to a chair beside Mr. Darcy when he returned to the letter. Elizabeth was sufficiently amused to observe to what would occur between Darcy and the lady that she sat quietly and brought some needlework from her bag.

  Caroline maintained a steady stream of compliments. “Mr. Darcy, you have such an even handwriting and write such long letters”

  Darcy merely nodded his head in acknowledgement of Miss Bingley’s attention and she continued her comments until noting Mr. Darcy’s inattention, Caroline turned her attentions to Elizabeth.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, have you brought mending with you to tea?”

  “It is not mending, Miss Bingley. This is a handkerchief that I am embroidering for my Mother.”

  “How very singular,” Caroline replied. “Fashionable ladies do not set their hands to sewing.”

  Now Mr. Darcy looked up and joined the conversation, “Miss Bingley, I believe all ladies set their hands to fine needlework in the afternoon.”

  “Not in town, Mr. Darcy,” Caroline replied. “And gentlemen should not attend to business letters in company either…”

  “I am writing to my sister, Miss Bingley… as you well know since you were reading it when I returned to the parlour.”

  “I supposed you to be writing another business letter – I merely wanted to determine if it was scraps that should be consigned to the fire,” Caroline explained. She feigned contrition with a glance at the floor but then continued her inquiries. “How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive a letter!”

  But Darcy made no answer and Caroline focused her attentions once more on the gentleman, “You write uncommonly fast.”

  “You are mistaken. I write rather slowly.”

  “How many business letters you must have occasion to write in the course of a year! How odious I should think them!”

  “It is fortunate, then, that they fall to my lot instead of yours.”

  “I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well.”

  “Thank you, but I always mend my own.”

  Not put off by the man’s dismissive responses, Caroline persisted by asking, “How can you contrive to write so even?”

  Elizabeth struggled once again to keep from laughing aloud though Mr. Darcy remained silent.

  “In your letter, please recommend me to her. I should be grateful for Miss Darcy’s thoughts on the sketch of a table I made. I hope it is equal to one sketched by Miss Gwendolyn Howell.”

  Close enough to hear Caroline’s comment, Jane looked over and caught Elizabeth’s eye – the sisters exchanged small shrugs.

  “I shall strive to make mention of your request when I write again. My letter to my sister is complete and now I must send directions to the steward of my aunt’s estate in Kent.”

  “It is of no consequence. I hope to see Miss Darcy in January when I return to town.”

  “That will be enough of the compliments for Darcy,” cried Mr. Bingley moving closer to Caroline when Jane and Mrs. Hurst moved to sit with Mary and Kitty near the fireplace. “He does not write with ease because he studies too much for words of four syllables. Do not you, Darcy?”

  “My style of writing is very different from yours,” Darcy reminded his friend.

  “Oh, very different indeed!” cried Miss Bingley. “Charles writes in the most careless way imaginable. He leaves out half his words and blots the rest.”

  “My family maintains that my letters often convey no ideas at all to my correspondents,” Charles explained to Elizabeth.

  Darcy set aside his pen for a moment to address Charles and Elizabeth. “The legible business letter is a matter of some weight to a landed gentleman because his correspondence often carries instructions to his agents. A poorly written letter could cost you hundreds.”

  “Then, by all means, let us hear all the particulars, not forgetting their comparative height and size to support your argument,” added Bingley with levity in his tone. “I assure you, Mrs. Hamilton, if Darcy were not such a great tall fellow, I should not pay him half so much deference. I declare I do not know a more awful object than Darcy, on particular occasions, especially on a Sunday evening, when he has nothing to do.”

  Mr. Darcy smiled and winked at Elizabeth to affirm his understanding of his friend’s tone and she ducked her head to hide her own grin. However, Miss Bingley warmly resented the
indignity he had received.

  “Charles, how can you say such a thing of Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy ignored Caroline and addressed Charles directly. “I see your design, Bingley. You dislike an argument and want to silence this discussion.”

  “Perhaps I do. Arguments are too much like disputes. If you and Mrs. Hamilton will defer yours till I am out of the room, I shall be very thankful; and then you may say whatever you like of me.”

  Darcy’s face displayed his marked surprise. “Mrs. Hamilton, have we argued?”

  Raising one eyebrow as she considered his face, Elizabeth replied, “Not that I remember. We have indulged in pleasant discourse only sir.”

  Glancing at Charles, Darcy smiled, “Mrs. Hamilton is apparently capable of handling my comments.”

  “Very well,” Bingley replied. “I shall leave the intellectual discussions to the greater minds.”

  “In any case,” said Elizabeth, “Mr. Darcy had much better finish his letter and join in conversation before the tea is served.”

  Mr. Darcy took her advice and laid aside the letter when Caroline rang for tea to be served. Mrs. Bennet joined the party and let her daughters know that Lydia would wait with Mrs. Hobbes in the kitchens until the tea was concluded.

  As the guests enjoyed the refreshments, Darcy asked, “Mrs. Hamilton, would you indulge me and provide us with some music this afternoon?”

  “Allow me, Mr. Darcy,” exclaimed Miss Bingley, moving with some alacrity to the pianoforte before remembering her role as hostess. “Mrs. Hamilton, would you play for us?”

  Elizabeth declined Caroline’s politely worded request so the hostess seated herself and summoned her sister to sing with her.

  While the sisters were thus employed, Elizabeth finished her embroidery but she could not help observing, how frequently Mr. Darcy's eyes were fixed on her. She hardly knew how to suppose that she could be an object of admiration to so great a man.

  She raised her face to match his gaze but her face reflected her confusion. Seeing her look, Mr. Darcy moved to sit beside the lady and ask, “Are you well Mrs. Hamilton? I hope our conversations have not distressed you this afternoon.”