Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “Surely Charles will want to entertain this winter,” Caroline insisted. “How can he without a hostess?”

  Louisa shook her head. “After your treatment of Miss Bennet at dinner, Charles will not put you at the head of the table again.”

  “Miss Bennet! Miss Bennet! I hear that name entirely too much!”

  “Caroline, our brother deserves to be happy and I believe you will hear ‘Mrs. Bingley’ within the year and she will be mistress here at Netherfield.”

  “Surely not! Charles must marry well! A woman with suitable connections if not a fortune!” Caroline exclaimed. “I shall speak to him this evening.”

  “I caution you to not attempt such sister,” Louisa counselled. “Otherwise you might find that Charles has arranged your marriage to Mr. Collins to remove you from his home before his own wedding.”

  “Mr. Collins! The minister related to the Bennets?”

  Louisa looked pointedly at her sister and said, “He is the only man you have mentioned as ‘suitable’ within our brother’s hearing.”

  “Do not say such things! The man is a toad!”

  “And you abuse the servants so badly that Mrs. Hobbes has had to pay extra for the maids and the footmen to remain.”

  “Because of me? You are ridiculous Louisa! They are just servants!”

  “Can you keep a maid? Imagine how embarrassed Charles and I were to hear of your attempt to steal Mrs. Hamilton’s maid. What were you thinking Caroline? Trying to entice away a neighbour’s maid in the middle of a hallway during a visit…”

  “Who said such a thing? Where did the report come from?” Caroline demanded to know. “From Miss Bennet no doubt! She wants to create mischief.”

  “No, Charles heard the tale from Mr. Darcy,” Louisa replied. “And Charles asked me to speak with you one more time.”

  “I grow weary of these speeches.”

  “As do I,” Louisa insisted. “Can you not understand why we ask you to reform your actions and behaviours?”

  “No,” Caroline said. “I shall make a good marriage and so must Charles. There can be no value in his infatuation with Miss Bennet. The family is without connections and of very small fortune. Charles should marry some lady of wealth and society, and I must marry such a man.”

  Louisa sighed and took Caroline’s hand. “Sister, I love you. Please give up on Mr. Darcy – the man will not make you an offer and you must marry within the next year. You are almost twenty-five and very soon you will be on the shelf like Miss Lucas.”

  “I… You…” Caroline sputtered with indignation to be compared to the old maid of the area. After a moment, Caroline rose and without speaking again, left the room.

  Louisa sighed once more, but then rose and left the room herself to venture into the kitchens to check on preparations for the refreshments. Mrs. Hobbes and Mr. Nicholls, the cook, prepared excellent meals and Louisa made certain the Charles knew of the true quality of the staff at Netherfield. Then she would venture above stairs to help her sister change in a different gown to receive the guests after the fox hunt.

  ++**++

  Riding on Zeus, Mr. Darcy was at the head of the hunt with Charles Bingley, and John Lucas not far behind. The older gentlemen were some distance back but the baying dogs kept the hunters headed after the fox.

  “I say! We have ridden through here once already!” Charles declared as they crossed a pasture of sheep scattering out of their way.

  “It must be a wise, old fox,” Darcy declared. “It knows to double-back on the trail and throw us off the scent.”

  “Through a herd of sheep?” asked Bingley.

  The dogs found the scent once more and dashed across a low stone fence that the hunters followed in quick succession.

  “Good horses all around!” Darcy decided as the locals kept close to his mount in the chase.

  Up ahead, he found the hounds surrounding a burrow, digging to reach their prey hidden underground. The horses came to a stop around the hole but then each man guided their horse to walk in a large circle around the area to keep the animals from floundering from stopping too quickly.

  After a few minutes, Mr. Talbert and his son arrived on their ponies. They dismounted and approached the den with shovels to dig out the fox. The three ladies on horseback arrived after a few more minutes and Bingley immediately directed his horse to the side of Miss Bennet. Darcy wondered how wise such a declaration of preference could be before he found himself guiding Zeus to walk beside Elizabeth on Memory.

  “How has your young mare done today, Mrs. Hamilton?”

  “Admirably, Mr. Darcy! Most admirably! We didn’t jump any of the fences like Jane on Dreaming Lady, but she kept up a good pace the entire time and doesn’t appear winded.”

  Darcy’s stallion continued to stretch out his neck to scent the air and he realized that the mare that Jane was riding was ready to breed.

  From the den where Mr. Talbert and his son dug furiously for the fox, the dogs bayed so loudly that the horses and people turned to watch.

  “Blast!” swore Mr. Talbert who blushed and then begged the ladies to forgive him. “The beast has out-foxed us ladies and gentlemen! He had another exit about ten yards away in that hedge beside the water. The old fellow has given us the slip by running down the stream.”

  “It was a good chase though,” Bingley asked his guests.

  “An excellent chase!” John Lucas replied. “We shall talk of it all winter and plan how to get this fellow in the spring!”

  “Well done Talbert,” Bingley told the gamekeeper from Longbourn. “You’ve done well again today.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley. Sorry about not getting the fox.”

  “It was an excellent hunt nonetheless!” he thanked the gamekeepers. Turning to his guests, he suggested, “Let’s walk the horses back to Netherfield. There will be refreshments for everyone.”

  Bingley rode beside Jane the entire way to the house while Darcy found himself between Mrs. Hamilton and her sister, Miss Kitty behind Bingley and Miss Bennet.

  “Are you looking forward to the ball on the 25th, Mr. Darcy?” Kitty asked.

  “I am, Miss Kitty,” Darcy replied. He glanced at Elizabeth when he said, “I do not ever remember as satisfying a fall season as this.”

  “And will you dance, Mr. Darcy?”

  Grinning, Darcy replied, “Indeed Miss Kitty, I shall hope to dance with many of the young ladies of the neighbourhood. Would you be so good as to save the second set for me Miss Kitty?”

  Blushing, the young woman agreed and then urged her horse forward to ride beside Mr. Bingley.

  “The second set, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth teased from his other side. “You begin by asking a lady for the second set?”

  Turning his full attention on the lady by his side, Darcy answered in this manner. “I could only ask your sister for the second set because, if you will agree, I wish to begin the evening with you.”

  Now blushing as well, Elizabeth replied, “I would be glad to dance the first set with you sir.”

  “And the supper set?” he asked pointedly.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she protested. “Two sets will have the ladies speculating and sharing all sorts of information.”

  “Would that be something that pleased you? For the ladies – and gentlemen – to speculate on two dances at the Netherfield ball?”

  Quiet for a moment too long, Darcy looked at Elizabeth and his concern for her good opinion was evident on his face.

  “Mr. Darcy, I welcome your invitation for two sets at the ball.”

  Now Darcy grinned, “Be assured that I have the very best intentions. If it would not border on impropriety so soon in our acquaintance, I would ask for a third set.”

  Elizabeth found herself speechless for the remainder of the ride back to Netherfield. At the mounting block, Bingley helped first Jane and then Kitty down to the gravel. Darcy moved forward to help Elizabeth down. She smiled warmly at the gentleman and he kept hold of her arm when she was on
the ground. When he looked around, he saw Bingley and Miss Bennet heading for the front door and Miss Kitty waiting unescorted beside the mounting block. Offering his other arm to Kitty, the third Bennet sister joined Darcy and Elizabeth to walk to the house.

  “Lizzy, Mr. Bingley asked me for the third set when he learned that Mr. Darcy had asked me for the second set,” Kitty said with a grin on her face.

  From the doorway, Caroline Bingley, dressed in a riding habit, rushed passed the footman. She manoeuvred around Charles and Jane to reach Mr. Darcy. Frowning when she saw Elizabeth attached to one arm, Caroline pushed between Darcy and Kitty.

  “Mr. Darcy! How was your ride? How I wish I had had a horse to join you!” Caroline gushed as she shoved Kitty out of her way and the young lady twisted and fell to the gravel drive.

  “Miss Bingley!” Darcy exclaimed but it was Kitty’s cry of pain the caught everyone’s attention.

  Darcy shook off Caroline’s hand though she refused to relinquish her place at his side as he and Elizabeth knelt beside Kitty. Bingley returned with Jane as Elizabeth examined her sister’s arms and legs.

  “Where are you hurt Kitty?” Elizabeth asked.

  “A person does not get hurt from simply falling down,” Caroline insisted.

  Charles caught his sister’s eye and said, “You often do when someone knocks you down!”

  From his side, Jane’s face was anxious for her sister as she asked, “Mr. Bingley, please send a footman to Meryton for Mr. Jones. He is our local apothecary and knows how to deal with such accidents.”

  “It will not require the apothecary, surely,” Caroline complained. “The silly girl fell down and dirtied her gown.”

  Elizabeth rose from her sister’s side and turned on Miss Bingley.

  “You pushed my sister to the ground Miss Bingley. If you should like to make the attempt again, please try with me for I assure you it will be your gown that is soiled and not mine!”

  “Well, I never!” Miss Bingley declared, though she backed away from the angry woman.

  Elizabeth turned to Jane as Mr. Darcy lifted Kitty from the ground to carry her inside. “I am sorry Jane. I could not restrain myself.”

  The eldest Bennet sister smiled before she turned to Caroline and said, “It was better to come from you Elizabeth. I would have been more direct and simply shown Miss Bingley what it felt to be pushed to the ground.”

  Caroline looked at her brother for support but Charles was grinning at Jane Bennet, as Mr. Darcy and Mrs. Hamilton hurried into the house with Kitty.

  At the door, Louisa directed Mr. Darcy up the stairs and she followed Elizabeth without looking back at her sister.

  Charles signed the footman forward. “Do you know Mr. Jones, the apothecary in Meryton?”

  “Yes, Mr. Bingley. Every family knows Mr. Jones.”

  “Good, take a fresh horse from the stables and fetch Mr. Jones to care for Miss Kitty.”

  “Very good sir,” the footman said as he trotted after the stable boys who led the horses to the stables.

  “Charles, did you have another horse? Why could I not ride with the others today?” Caroline whined. “You told me that there were not any horses for me to join in the fox hunt.”

  Charles didn’t respond to his sister’s question; his face grew serious as he took Jane’s hand. “Miss Bennet, will you excuse us please? I am certain your sisters would appreciate your presence while waiting for the apothecary to arrive.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley,” Jane replied before she hurried inside the house and up the stairs.

  “Charles! I insist that you answer my question! Why did you not tell me that you had another horse in the stables that I could have ridden?”

  “Do you consider that the important matter now – a horse for you to have ridden this afternoon – not your improper behaviour toward a guest in my home?”

  Waving a hand to dismiss her brother's question, Caroline argued, “The girl is not hurt. She simply seeks attention!”

  “That is exactly how I would have described your actions – seeking attention! Why can you not be a lady like Miss Bennet and her sisters?”

  “What do you mean?” Caroline asked, confused by her brother’s words. “The Bennet family is simple country folk – spending their lives on farms and fields.”

  “Caroline, our grandfathers began as labourers on the docks. They built businesses that their sons grew leaving us with wealth and brighter futures. But the Bennet family has been members of the gentry for many generations.”

  “They are not fashionable or wealthy!”

  “Regardless of your opinions of the Bennet family, the ladies were our guests today but you have proven to our guests – and to me – that you do not know how to conduct yourself in company.”

  “In company!” Caroline sneered. “Fox hunting and casual dinners for local farmers! These country gatherings hardly require a great deal of skill!”

  “I assume Louisa has told you that she and Geoffrey will retire to Hampshire after the first of the year,” Charles said. “They will not invite you to travel with them so I ask if you will remain as a guest in my home or remove yourself to our aunt in Scarborough?”

  “Scarborough! Charles that is worse than Meryton!” Caroline fussed.

  “I am resolved. Will you behave or will you depart for Aunt Adelaide’s care?”

  “I will be a model guest.”

  “And apologize to each Bennet sister?”

  Making a sour face, Caroline whispered, “I will apologize.”

  “Very good.” Charles turned his back on his sister and entered the house without waiting for her.

  ++**++

  “How is your sister, Mrs. Hamilton?” asked Mr. Bingley when Elizabeth entered the parlour where Bingley, Darcy, Caroline, and Mr. and Mrs. Hurst waited. “Is her ankle broken?”

  “Charles, you do not break your ankle simply by falling down,” Caroline declared.

  Ignoring Caroline, Elizabeth replied, “Her ankle is not broken but it is swollen and very painful. Mr. Jones says that if we might have some ice to wrap in towels and place around it, the swelling will go down and she could return home tomorrow.”

  “Ice!” cried Bingley. “I do not think we have an ice house here at Netherfield and the weather has not been cold enough to freeze the rivers and ponds yet this year.”

  “Perhaps you have ice at Longbourn,” said Miss Bingley, with cold civility. “You appear to have much else there.”

  “There is an ice house in Meryton,” Elizabeth replied. “I am certain there is some ice remaining there even this late in the fall.”

  “Then I shall send for a block for Miss Kitty’s relief,” Bingley declared.

  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley. My family shall be indebted to you if you can ease Kitty’s pain.”

  Jane entered the room at that moment to ask, “What shall we do, Lizzy? I do not think we can move Kitty but I do not want to leave her alone tonight.”

  “You must stay the night with her, Miss Bennet,” insisted Mr. Bingley. “Louisa, would you be so kind as to have the room next to Miss Kitty made ready for Miss Bennet.”

  “Charles, it is late and the…” Caroline began to protest, not wanting the Bennet sisters under her roof for the night.

  Ignoring his sister, Mr. Bingley stepped forward. “Mrs. Hamilton, you are certainly welcome to remain as well.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley, but I am certain that my sister Jane can care for Kitty’s ankle tonight. In any case, I would not want to be separated from my son.”

  “No of course not,” Bingley replied. He glanced briefly at Caroline who merely frowned and looked away as Mrs. Hurst rose from the sofa and approached Charles.

  “I shall speak to the housekeeper about a room for Miss Bennet next to Miss Kitty, and have her send for ice,” Louisa said.

  “Thank you,” Charles told his eldest sister who left the room to seek the housekeeper. Silence threatened to fill the parlour for a moment, but then Mr.
Hurst broke the spell.

  “So, Charles, what do you think of Hertfordshire now?” asked Mr. Hurst. “The county has excellent shooting, good food and even accomplished ladies who ride in a fox hunt. I hope you will not think of quitting it in a hurry.”

  “Whatever I do is done in a hurry,” replied Mr. Bingley; “and therefore if I should resolve to quit Netherfield, I should probably be off in five minutes.”

  Catching Jane’s eye, Bingley continued, “At present, however, I consider myself as quite fixed here.”

  Glancing at her sister’s face and guessing Jane’s feelings, Elizabeth turned back to her host. “Mr. Bingley, may I ask for the assistance of one of your stable boys. I need someone to help me return to Longbourn with our horses before dark. The man can return with Jane and Kitty’s clothing for tonight and tomorrow.”

  Darcy stepped forward and caught Elizabeth’s eye. “If I may Mrs. Hamilton, since Colonel Fitzwilliam and I must retire to the White Pig, will you permit us to escort you? The colonel can lead one mare and I shall lead the other. A stable boy can ride along and return with the clothing for the ladies in time for supper.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth replied. “I have no experience leading another horse while riding.”

  “Once we have the ice, I shall wrap Kitty’s ankle and she will be better tomorrow,” Jane said. “Bring the carriage just after noon and we shall be home in time for tea.”

  “I shall,” Elizabeth hugged her sister before leaving the parlour with Mr. Darcy for the stables.

  “But Mr. Darcy, you can allow the stable boys to escort Mrs. Hamilton,” cried Miss Bingley. “Surely you will stay at Netherfield for the supper!”

  ++**++

  Ignored by her siblings, Caroline left the parlour and made her way up the stairs. Once in her room, she attempted to undress but could not reach all the buttons on the riding habit. She rang her bell and waited for fifteen minutes before pulling it a second and third time.

  Finally, her door opened and Mrs. Hobbes entered the room. “Yes, Miss Bingley?”

  “I wish to dress for supper,” Caroline informed the housekeeper. “Help me out of this riding habit and then we shall find an appropriate dress for the evening.”