Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “Miss Bingley,” Mrs. Hobbes said as she walked toward the closet and pulled out a seldom worn evening gown. “This is what you will wear tonight and your hairstyle will do as well.”

  “But…”

  “Turn around and I will undo your buttons.”

  Caroline turned and Mrs. Hobbes quickly unbuttoned the last buttons. “Now get into your gown and I shall button you up. Then you will have time to visit the Bennet ladies and express your apologies before supper.”

  Whirling back around, Caroline replied, her eyes large with surprise, “Mrs. Hobbit, you will not speak to me in this manner. Remember your place!”

  “My name is Mrs. Hobbes,” the housekeeper replied evenly, staring Caroline in the eye. “If someone had taken you in hand a few years ago you might have been a pleasant lady like Mrs. Hurst. And Mr. Bingley has given me the responsibility to take you in hand as if you were fourteen instead of twenty-four.”

  “I am not twenty-four!” Caroline insisted. “I am barely twenty-one.”

  “No madam, the bloom has already faded from your cheeks and every gentleman can see it for himself.”

  Caroline slapped Mrs. Hobbes but before she said another word, Mrs. Hobbes slapped Caroline with the full force of her arm. Dropping to the floor, Caroline placed her palm on her red face and stared at the housekeeper standing over her.

  “Now, instead of joining the ladies and gentlemen for supper, you will get undressed and go to bed,” the housekeeper said. “I will make certain you get a tray tomorrow morning and we will discuss a schedule for your day.”

  Silent still, Caroline stared as the housekeeper turned and walked from the room, locking the door behind her.

  ++**++

  The ride to Longbourn began with a review of previous conversations between the couple while Colonel Fitzwilliam and the stable boy riding a pace behind them, each leading a mare with an empty saddle.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, if you wish to study human nature, why not come to town?” asked Darcy. “The country can supply only a few characters for your study. In this neighbourhood, you move in an unvarying society.”

  “The society varies greatly, Mr. Darcy and people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them with each new season,” Elizabeth argued. “Are you the same man you were ten years ago?”

  “No, hardly the same man,” Darcy agreed. “And the smaller numbers of people are not a disadvantage?”

  “No,” Elizabeth replied. “And London’s advantages are the theatres, shops and public places, but the country is a vast deal pleasanter. Here, there are more than four-and-twenty families with whom my family keeps company.”

  “In Derbyshire, I have perhaps eight-and-twenty families to keep company until the winter snows arrive when we are often without company for six weeks at a time.”

  “Then your library must be of great comfort to you,” Elizabeth said.

  They rode in silence for few moments when Darcy asked, “Mrs. Hamilton, may I ask an impertinent question?”

  “Impertinent, Mr. Darcy?”

  “I fear so, Mrs. Hamilton,” the man said from the horse walking beside her own.

  “Very well Mr. Darcy,” she bargained. Again, there was silence and Elizabeth glanced toward the man to find his face grimaced with thought.

  “Really Mr. Darcy, I begin to fear this impertinent inquiry if you have such great anxiety formulating the question.”

  Glancing back at his cousin to keep the stable boy back out of hearing, Darcy finally asked, “I have attempted my own study but I fear I have failed to discern the true lady. Who are you Mrs. Hamilton?”

  Elizabeth considered his question quietly as he explained, “I understand that once upon a time you were Miss Elizabeth Bennet, a local girl who loved to read books and to walk about the Hertfordshire countryside. You married and moved into an unknown world that must have challenged you greatly. The woman I met at the assembly in September is a confident, young mother who cares for many people around her. I admit that you set my head to spinning.”

  Elizabeth stared for moment and Darcy continued, “The neighbourhood reports that you returned suddenly in Meryton after an absence of almost three years with marvellous horses and enough wealth to outfit your sisters in the latest fashions. You are confident, witty, and well informed on the war, literature and poetry.”

  “Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Darcy. I am proud of who I am and my connections,” Elizabeth replied. “My family and servants abide with my request to not speak of my situation. We wait for my father's return to make much of such things.”

  “Things such as…”

  Elizabeth cleared her mind and said, “Mr. Darcy, you have heard of my marriage to Major Hamilton.”

  “Yes, it was arranged by your father and two of his friends from his university days to unite their two families.”

  Nodding, Elizabeth continued. “Jane’s fiancé died in January – killed in battle. Matthew and I married in spring despite the mourning period. I left Longbourn that same day and did not return until this past summer.”

  “I have heard these particulars from your friends and relatives.”

  “Until my father returns and Longbourn is secure, that is the extent of the information I shall share.”

  “Unfortunately, you have stirred substantial conversation with your fine carriage, extensive stable of horses, and purchases in Meryton. It appears that you have a fortune, Mrs. Hamilton.”

  “You are gauche and vulgar, sir!” she said half teasing and half scolding.

  “Perhaps, and I beg your pardon. But I understand the sentiment of not discussing your situation in detail Mrs. Hamilton. My wealth often brings too much attention to my family as well.”

  “Then, may I count on your confidentiality, sir?”

  “Indeed, you may, Mrs. Hamilton,” Darcy said as they approached Longbourn.

  Once Darcy helped Elizabeth off her horse, Mrs. Bennet, Mary and Lydia came out on the porch and asked why Jane and Kitty were not returning home. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam led Elizabeth’s mares to the Longbourn stable and Zeus followed, unwilling to leave the mares until Mr. Darcy brought him back to the front of the house and tied him to the post.

  At the front of Longbourn, Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam found Elizabeth reassuring her mother that Kitty was well and the gentlemen joined in her assurances that Kitty’s ankle was merely sprained; only after several moments did Mrs. Bennet regain her calm demeanour.

  Now Elizabeth led her mother, sisters and guests into the house while Mr. Hill went to send Mrs. Barrow to Elizabeth. Once the maid appeared, Elizabeth gave her quick instructions and the maid disappeared up the stairs to quickly gather the appropriate clothing for Jane and Kitty for supper and the evening. Mrs. Bennet returned to the parlour and Mary sent to the kitchen for tea for her mother.

  “I am certain your daughter will be well tomorrow, Mrs. Bennet,” Darcy assured the lady as Mary poured her a cup of tea.

  “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. You are very kind,” Mrs. Bennet answered. “I worry for my girls.”

  “I understand, madam. I worry for my younger sister and follow her adventures.” He glanced around the room, Miss Mary and Mrs. Hamilton attended their mother and the youngest daughter, Miss Lydia sat silent on the sofa, her face deep in study of her family for once.

  “We must say ‘good night’ and return to the White Pig,” Darcy explained as he stood.

  “Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Darcy,” Mrs. Bennet replied.

  “It was my pleasure to be of assistance,” Darcy replied before Elizabeth escorted him to the front door. On the stoop, Elizabeth waited as Mr. Darcy secured the canvas bags to the stable boy’s horse and sent the boy back to Netherfield. Then the two gentlemen turned to say their farewells.

  “I shall call tomorrow morning if I might Mrs. Hamilton,” Darcy said. “I remember once asking for the opportunity to drive your team of greys. May I join you for the ride to Netherfield t
o retrieve your sisters?”

  “I believe there will be room for you to sit with Mr. Thomas on the bench and he might allow you to touch the reins if you are sober and attentive.”

  Thus ended the day of the fox hunt.

  ++**++

  Chapter 34.

  Mr. Darcy Decides to Bring His Sister to Hertfordshire

  The following morning, Darcy stood once again at the window main room of the White Pig staring at the passing wagons, pedestrians and horses on the road. He considered the changes brought forth by the last twenty-four hours; where before he had considered Elizabeth Hamilton to be an attractive widow with a small child and uncertain financials, this morning he wondered how to convince the woman to be his wife.

  After the flurry of hunting, dinner and dancing social events, Fitzwilliam Darcy was conflicted – his trip into Hertfordshire had relaxed him, but he was lost to Mrs. Elizabeth Hamilton.

  It was certain the Richard approved of Mrs. Hamilton.

  “I must consult with my sister,” he decided. “I want Georgiana to meet her and come to know her.”

  Thinking of Colonel Fitzwilliam’s parents, he decided that the earl and countess would be won over instantly upon meeting the lady. “They will realize her quality after a single day in her presence.”

  Then his thoughts turned to Aunt Catherine in her gilded manor house in Kent, and the uproar the lady would unleash upon the world when she learned that her nephew would not marry her daughter. Thinking of his cousin’s wedding – when Viscount Anthony married Miss Margaret Snowden, the daughter of an extremely wealthy merchant from the north and how Lady Catherine had abused the bride and her family as well as her own brother and sister-in-law for arranging the match, Darcy realized, “Elizabeth has one vulgar aunt and an uncle who is a country attorney – how can that compare to the harridan of Rosings who can arrive at a wedding and have every person in attendance weeping after the first hour?”

  Baring thoughts of his aunt and her often painful remarks, Darcy drew out pen, ink and paper to write to his sister.

  ++**++

  November 10th

  White Pig Inn, Meryton, Hertfordshire

  Dearest Sister,

  Have your lessons progressed as well as you had hoped? I look forward to hearing your performance of the new music we procured before I left town for the country. As you remember in my letters, I have helped Mr. Bingley settle in with the tenants and responsibilities of being a landlord for the past weeks – of course you remember for I have written in detail of the fences, fields and sheep we have found on the estate. Lately Colonel Fitzwilliam and I have moved into the local inn where the rooms are tolerable and the food acceptable.

  I have enjoyed my time here Georgie. It is not town but you know I have a small tolerance for parties and dinners that are merely displays of wealth without any enjoyment for the participants. The families in Hertfordshire remind me of our friends in Derbyshire. There have been assemblies, shooting parties and a fox hunt where ladies rode following the hunt.

  Can you guess who lead her sisters in pursuit of the fox? Mrs. Elizabeth Hamilton surprises me often with strong opinions and a great understanding of the world. Did I tell you she has marvellous horses too?

  Write to me soon and tell me of your studies and thoughts.

  Your loving brother,

  William

  ++**++

  At an early hour, Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived at Longbourn. The horses were led to the stables and Darcy went inside long enough to make his greetings while Colonel Fitzwilliam took a comfortable seat to talk with Mrs. Bennet and her youngest daughter, Miss Lydia.

  Darcy and Elizabeth exited through the kitchens to the surprise of the servants as they went to the stables to watch Mr. Thomas hitch the team of greys.

  “How are you this morning, Mrs. Hamilton?” asked Darcy.

  The lady smiled as she replied, “I am well, Mr. Darcy. I am very well indeed.”

  They walked across the yard to the stables and found Mr. Thomas leading the two greys out of their stalls into the open area of the stable. The stable boys each took the lead for one horse and the coachman began harnessing his charges. Darcy and Elizabeth waited at the door, not drawing too close while the horses were being handled.

  “You must never startle a horse,” Darcy told Elizabeth. “They remember people and our actions. Notice that while Thomas is busy with the harness, the horses are watching him and both stable boys. Only after they are harnessed to the carriage should we approach the horses.”

  “Would you mind if Matthew rode with us this morning?”

  Darcy grinned. “I would be pleased.”

  Once the team was hitched, Darcy stepped closer and examined the horses and their harness. Thomas and the stable boys examined Darcy as closely as he examined the two horses. The gossip in the kitchens was that this man was courting Lady Elizabeth. The lady’s preference for the gentleman was clear for everyone to see so the servants would provide the gentleman with the opportunity to prove his worth.

  Thomas climbed onto the seat and flicked the reins, taking the coach to the front of Longbourn. Walking back to the kitchens, Elizabeth and Darcy spoke to Mrs. Hill, and then returned to the parlour to take their leave of Mrs. Bennet.

  Once joined with her family, Elizabeth and Darcy found that Mr. Lucas had called this morning to visit with Mary. Only Lydia was quiet as Mrs. Bennet made a proposal, “Why should we all not descend upon Netherfield this morning?”

  Her daughters were surprised but the gentlemen listened in great interest to the proposal. “Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Lucas can ride along and we shall not remain long at Netherfield. Perhaps we can convince Mr. Bingley to return for tea?”

  “Mamma, I should be so bored,” whined Lydia. “I believe I shall remain at home.”

  Mrs. Bennet sniffed once and motioned her daughter closer where she spoke softly to Lydia. Her daughter frowned but nodded her head in agreement before leaving the room to spend the time with Mrs. Barrow sewing.

  Everyone donned coats and hats; Nanny Brice brought Matthew who immediately went to Darcy to ride on his shoulders. Mrs. Bennet, Mary and Elizabeth climbed into the coach and Matthew went to his mother. Darcy climbed up on the seat with Mr. Thomas and flicked the reins as Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Lucas hurried to their saddles and rode after the carriage.

  Darcy listened to Mr. Thomas instruct him how to handle the team, when to give them their head, and when to pull them in.

  “They don’t try to take the bit unless they’re tired, sir.”

  Darcy nodded, keeping his eye on the horses as they quickly moved along the country road. The trip was not long enough for Mr. Darcy and he wanted another chance to drive the team of greys.

  “Might I impose Mr. Thomas and drive the carriage back to Longbourn?” he asked.

  “Certainly Mr. Darcy – if Mrs. Hamilton and Master Matthew can spare you,” the coachman replied with a small smile.

  Once the team had stopped, Thomas called to the team, “Stand! Stand!” as Mr. Darcy handed over the reins and a stable boy rushed out to take the harness straps of both horses and hold the team while the passengers disembarked. Darcy climbed down and opened the door of the carriage as the front door of Netherfield opened and Mr. Bingley walked out with Jane on his arm. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst were not far behind and Caroline Bingley came out last and alone.

  “Welcome!” Bingley called. “We did not expect a party!”

  “Oh Mr. Bingley, forgive me,” said Mrs. Bennet. “The house was full of laughter and we wanted to bring it along with us to retrieve Jane and Kitty. How is my girl?”

  “She is much better Mamma and able to go home. We left her in the parlour,” Jane answered.

  Mr. Bingley ushered everyone back inside as Darcy took Matthew and then helped Elizabeth down from the carriage. With Elizabeth on his arm and Matthew in his other arm, Darcy started up the steps to the door where Caroline waited.

  “Mr. Darcy, M
rs. Hamilton, you brought the boy with you today,” she remarked. “Is the nanny sewing again today?”

  “Miss Bingley, I hope you are well this morning,” Elizabeth said ignoring her question.

  “As well as anyone can be in Hertfordshire in November, I suppose,” the lady answered.

  “Well, we shall tarry only long enough to collect Miss Bennet and Miss Kitty,” Darcy replied.

  “Caroline, you are needed in the small parlour,” Charles said from behind them. “Mrs. Hobbes has sewing laid out for you to complete today.”

  Miss Bingley turned bright red and walked away from the door.

  “My sister is attempting to improve herself and be of assistance to the tenant families with sewing,” Charles told Darcy and Elizabeth. “But Mrs. Hobbes has not approved of anything she has sewn so far.”

  “Up peas!” Matthew asked in the entry hall. Once placed on Mr. Darcy’s shoulder, Matthew attempted to reach the ceiling but the high ceilings were out of reach.

  “Too high,” Darcy explained. “The ceilings are too high.”

  “Too high,” Matthew mimicked.

  When they joined the others in the parlour, Matthew asked to be put on the floor and he ran first to Kitty and then to Jane for hugs and kisses. Then he ran back and forth between his mother, his aunts, grandmother and Darcy for the entirety of the short visit.

  Soon enough, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Lucas assisted Miss Kitty into the coach, followed by Mary, Jane, Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth. When Darcy approached the carriage to place Matthew in his mother’s arms again, the little boy pointed at the sky and said, “Too high!”

  “That is correct Matthew, the sky is too high.”

  ++**++

  Chapter 35.

  Country Life with Courting and Horses

  “Shall we go shooting with Goulding today, Darcy?” Fitzwilliam asked the next morning. “I have been here four days without firing the first shot at a bird.”