Follies and Nonsense

by Martin Hunnicutt

  “I imagine the shooting will be good this afternoon but I must visit Longbourn first,” Darcy replied.

  “Priorities will be served,” the colonel replied. “But get on with it man. Her boy will be grown and in need of a bride rather than brothers and sisters at the rate you are moving!”

  Darcy grinned as they left the inn and walked down the street to the blacksmith shop where their horses were boarded. Outside the stable, Mr. Black met them with a perplexed look on his face.

  “Mr. Darcy, sir, do ye know where the mare is stabled that your Zeus was a courting?”

  “I do, Mr. Black. It is one of the mares at Longbourn,” he answered.

  “Then sir, I think ye must look for your horse there this morning. He busted out of his stall last night and when the boys opened the stable this morning, Zeus bolted up the street and disappeared.”

  “Good God! How long ago was this? Zeus may have trampled someone at Longbourn if they get in his way!”

  “It was only an hour before, sir.”

  “Saddle our horses! Hurry man!” Darcy ordered.

  Within moments, stable boys brought out Fitzwilliam’s horse and Darcy’s gelding that he rode on days when Zeus was fractious. The two men mounted and rode for Longbourn without a moment’s delay.

  ++**++

  “Mamma, have you seen my bonnet?” asked Kitty as the ladies began their day of sewing.

  “I do not have Kitty’s bonnet!” insisted Lydia.

  “Of course, not Lydia,” Mary replied. “That is not what Kitty was saying. Now, let us look at your stitching from yesterday.”

  “Your bonnet is hanging on the pegs at the side door, Kitty,” Mrs. Bennet answered as she pulled out the shirt she had been working on the day before. “Lizzy, we found Charlotte Lucas inconsolable yesterday at Lucas Lodge.”

  “Whatever was the matter, Mamma?” Elizabeth asked.

  “She has been courted by young Mr. Fielding, but Mrs. Fielding’s gossiping tongue has convinced Charlotte that she cannot accept him,” Lydia said. “She will be on the shelf for good after this.”

  Elizabeth did not know how to respond to the idea of Charlotte Lucas being courted by Jack Fielding.

  “Is he a good man?” she asked. “I have only spoken to him once and that was at the Assembly Ball in September.”

  “He is quite amiable and can be pleasant when he is not around his father and mother,” Mrs. Bennet replied. “Sir William and Lady Lucas looked on the match as a good one for Charlotte except that the couple would be expected to live with his parents.”

  “Mrs. Fielding will have a live-in cook then and spend all of her time in town gossiping for certain,” Mary added sharply. “John – Mr. Lucas – is concerned that his sister will become just a housekeeper for the Fielding family rather than Mr. Jack Fielding’s wife.”

  “Does Mr. Fielding have any prospects?” Elizabeth asked.

  Mary thought for a moment and said, “Mr. Lucas respects Mr. Jack Fielding’s ability to work with livestock. He says they have an excellent flock of geese for town but…”

  Mrs. Bennet frowned, “I do not see why I should rescind my decision just because Mr. Jack Fielding has a good flock of geese and Miss Charlotte Lucas worries about being stuck on the shelf permanently.” Lydia was about to make a comment when she caught Jane’s look and remained silent.

  “Perhaps if Mrs. Fielding made some effort to apologize or appeared contrite,” Mary offered, glancing between Elizabeth and their mother.

  “We must make an effort to have good relations with all of our neighbours,” Jane added. “We never know who we might be related to in the future.”

  Now Kitty and Lydia both giggled and their mother smiled indulgently at her two youngest before turning back to the three older girls. “Mary and Jane may both have to deal with the Fielding family for years after I am gone and after Elizabeth has removed to the north.”

  “I agree Mamma,” Elizabeth said. “I simply wish Mrs. Fielding had chosen someone besides Mr. Collins to share her information with.”

  “Oh, she did Lizzy,” Lydia replied. “She told everyone in town. Mr. Collins is the only person who believed her and repeated it.”

  “Lydia! Be quiet!” commanded the eldest Bennet sister.

  “Goodness, Jane – you certainly assert your place as the eldest often enough lately!” declared Lydia.

  Jane rose and moved to Lydia’s side. She took her sister’s hands into her own and drew Lydia’s attentions to her words. “You must not say everything that comes into your head; consider if what you say will cause another person pain or harm. Spreading stories makes you no different than Mrs. Fielding.”

  “And that would mean that people will not invite you to dinner, to dances or to parties,” Mary explained.

  “No one invites me to parties today,” complained Lydia, missing the point entirely.

  ++**++

  The ladies were in the midst of their sewing when they heard someone running from the kitchens. They waited with their needles in mid-air or stuck into material until the door burst open and one of the stable boys stepped in the room. He looked about for a moment and then finding Elizabeth, he cried, “There’s a stallion in the pasture with the mares, Mrs. Hamilton!”

  He took a couple deep breaths before continuing, “It looks like Mr. Darcy’s stud Zeus. He’s not letting Mr. Thomas retrieve the mares for your ride and he won’t let us separate him from the mares.”

  Suddenly the boy remembered that he need to bow before the ladies and he bobbed quite well to be excited and out-of-breath.

  “Did you run the distance from the pastures, Billy?”

  “Yes, madam. I run the path fast as I could to ask you what to do.”

  Elizabeth grinned and turned to her sisters. “I fear that the ladies have a gentleman caller today and we shall not be able to ride after tea.”

  “Can we go watch?” Lydia asked innocently not understanding what was transpiring in the pasture. Jane, Elizabeth and Mary blushed and Kitty looked very confused but it was Mrs. Bennet’s laughter that surprised all her daughters.

  “Billy, return to the stables and tell Mr. Thomas to keep watch on the horses but not to interfere unless the mare or stud are in distress,” Mrs. Bennet instructed the stable boy who turned and ran down the hall and through the kitchen. From down the hall, they heard Mrs. Hill shout, “Billy, leave your muddy boots outside!”

  “How many of your mares are in season, Lizzy?” Mrs. Bennet asked.

  “I believe it is just the one,” Elizabeth replied in a calm voice though she dared not glance at Jane or Mary for fear that she would begin laughing.

  “Then he’ll be calm in a day or two and Mr. Darcy can remove him,” her mother said. “Unless the… the courtship gives the other mares ideas of course.”

  “Mamma!” exclaimed Jane and Elizabeth together though Mary joined her mother in laughter. Kitty and Lydia demanded to know why their mother and Mary were laughing, and why Elizabeth and Jane were blushing so.

  The door opened again and Mr. Hill announced Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Mrs. Bennet stood and welcomed the gentlemen though she had trouble keeping her grin from her face.

  “Mrs. Bennet, we apologize for this early call but my horse…”

  Now Mrs. Bennet did grin. “One of the stable boys just informed us that Zeus came courting Mr. Darcy. He and his lady love are in the far pasture with her handmaidens in attendance.”

  “Does Zeus have any injuries? He kicked his way out of the blacksmith’s stall last night and may have cuts.”

  “I am certain that Billy can lead you to the pasture Mr. Darcy but I don’t think it would be wise to try and remove a stallion from a mare after only a morning,” Mrs. Bennet said. “His blood will be up and he’ll bite or kick if you interfere. Give him a day or two until he’s spent his honeymoon and then he’ll take your bridle once again.”

  “There will be a nice foal out of this courtship,” Colonel Fitzwilliam of
fered from the back of the room. “Who pays the stud fee?”

  “Mr. Darcy, please come this way,” Elizabeth said as she moved to the door, the room suddenly too hot for her comfort. In the hallway, Elizabeth hardly waited for the gentlemen to follow her before she was out the door with her wrap and bonnet in place, Mr. Hill trying to catch the front door of the house.

  “Mamma, may we go too?” Lydia asked hopefully.

  Mrs. Bennet considered her youngest daughter for a moment and then said, “You may Lydia and I will question you about what you learn later. You go too Kitty.” She glanced toward Mary and Jane who both vehemently denied any need for additional knowledge on the subject.

  “Living in the country you girls should be aware of these things without embarrassment,” Mrs. Bennet said though soon all three of them dissolved in laughter again.

  “It may cool Lydia’s interest in young men for some time,” Mary added.

  “But only for a time,” Jane added.

  ++**++

  “Why do we have to walk?” Lydia complained. “The carriage would have us here in no time and the pathways to the pasture are muddy!”

  “We are on an estate, Miss Lydia,” Colonel Fitzwilliam explained. “There are muddy pathways everywhere.”

  “It isn’t the mud that we have to avoid!” Kitty exclaimed stepping around a paddy left by one of the cows.

  “Does your sister always walk at that pace?” the colonel asked the two younger sisters.

  “Yes, that’s why we insist on riding with Lizzy,” Kitty explained. “No one can keep up with her when she is in a hurry.”

  “Papa always says that if Lizzy had been born with four legs, she would be a race horse,” Lydia reported and the colonel nodded absently, watching his long-legged cousin and the young lady hurry along the pathway to the pastures.

  Ahead of them they saw Mr. Thomas, Mr. Smyth and the stable boy at a stile watching Zeus circle the mares. The harem grazed on the winter grass and generally ignored the stallion except for Dreaming Lady who twitched her tail and whined when she was impressed with his displays of strength.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Hamilton. Mr. Darcy,” Mr. Smyth greeted. “Mr. Thomas and I recognized your stud sir and he’s been courting all morning.”

  “He broke out of his stall at the blacksmith’s last night. Have you seen any injuries on him?”

  The two men exchanged glances before Mr. Thomas said, “I have not been close to the stud sir. He’s got her scent and he’ll not allow anyone near his harem today.”

  “How did he get inside the pasture?” Darcy asked. “Did he break through the fence?”

  “He sailed over the fence this morning,” Thomas reported. “I heard him coming just as I turned the mares into the field and he took the fence without hesitation.”

  Darcy frowned and stepped to the edge of the fence, whistling for Zeus. The stud glanced toward Darcy but then turned back toward his harem and began to circle them once again.

  “Zeus! Come here!” Darcy called and then whistled once again but the horse ignored his master.

  Seeing that Mr. Darcy was about to climb over the stile and traipse through the winter grass toward a stallion with a ready mare, Elizabeth reached out a hand and touched his arm. “Mr. Darcy, I cannot permit you to endanger yourself this morning.”

  He frowned that anyone would question his decisions; but he turned toward Elizabeth and caught the determined look in her eyes. She smiled gently and said, “Remember that others have equal concerns – I would not see you hurt or bit by your favourite horse.”

  By now, Colonel Fitzwilliam and the two younger girls had reached the pasture. Mr. Smyth and Mr. Thomas glanced at Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia and then at the colonel who simply shrugged and turned to enjoy the show.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, I have to determine if he is injured.”

  “I understand but if he tramples you in the process, then I shall have to tend to your injuries and I fear you would not be a good patient!” she insisted and made him blush. “Will a visual inspection be enough?”

  When he nodded, Elizabeth stepped up on the second step of the stile and whistled. The ears of her mares perked up and they wandered over to the fence while Elizabeth took apples and small pieces of sugar from Mr. Thomas for each mare. As his harem drew close to the fence, Zeus came close enough for Darcy to tempt him with an apple and to look him over. Mr. Thomas joined Darcy and they agreed the stallion was not injured by his escape or run to Longbourn that morning.

  “Look at his…” Lydia said, pointing. “What is he going to do Kitty?”

  The stud circled the mares and moved them away from the fence before he drew close to Dreaming Lady, nipping at her flanks. She raced away from him across the pasture though the other mares ignored the courting pair. Memory returned to the side of the fence, begging for another apple or bit of sugar.

  “What are they doing?” exclaimed Lydia. “Kitty, look!”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Smyth shared a laugh at the expense of the young ladies but Mr. Thomas explained, “Miss Lydia, when you have expensive horses, it is best to have someone watch the stud service the mare.”

  “Whatever for?” asked Lydia, obvious distress in her voice. “He’s hurting her.”

  “Sometimes the stud might hurt the mare but it isn’t intentional. You never want a large stud to cover a small mare. His weight might hurt her and her foal would be too large for her to deliver safely too.”

  “But that… thing… it is so big. Won’t that hurt her?” Kitty asked.

  Mr. Thomas shook his head, “She didn’t let him catch her until she was ready. See how she braced her hind legs?”

  Lydia stared for another minute before turning to Kitty. “I want to go back to the house now.”

  “Yes, let’s go home. I want to speak to Mamma!” Kitty declared and the two youngest sisters hurried back down the muddy path.

  Fitzwilliam, Smyth and Thomas shared grins over the young ladies’ discomfort but they did not laugh aloud out of respect for Mrs. Hamilton. Darcy had been watching the horses with great attention but he surprised Elizabeth by asking, “I hope this has not shocked your sisters, Mrs. Hamilton.”

  Elizabeth smiled, “I am certain they will have many questions to ask our mother this afternoon instead of riding.” She shrugged, “But they have been raised on the estate their whole lives. The roosters are not shy to court the hens in front of the rector when he asks to see our dairy, and the rams cover the ewes in the front pasture all fall.”

  “Mr. Darcy, help me here,” called Mr. Thomas. Zeus and Dreaming Lady had separated and were out of sight after walking over a rise in the pasture. “We can get the other mares back to the stable now.”

  As each man took the leads, the three mares were led out of the pasture and back to the stable. As Billy closed the gate, Elizabeth asked, “What about Zeus and Dreaming Lady?”

  Mr. Thomas and Mr. Smyth spoke for a moment and then Thomas said, “Late in the afternoon, I’ll open the door to the hay barn in the pasture. It will do as a honeymoon lodge for the horses tonight.”

  “Will they be alright?” Elizabeth asked, glancing back at the pasture.

  Handing off Memory to Fitzwilliam, Darcy turned to Elizabeth, “They are fine. She’s shown she knows what to do and he’s proven he can mount without assistance. She’ll welcome his attentions for another day or two and then make him leave her alone.”

  “Dreaming Lady’s foal will come during the harvest next fall.”

  “You said she wasn’t allowed to breed last spring. Perhaps the change in environment and extra exercise triggered this mating.”

  The couple followed the other horses back to the stable where Darcy inspected each of the mares. “Did you know Buttercup is carrying a foal?”

  Thomas nodded. “She won’t foal until spring – about Easter I expect.”

  “Darcy, did you set the stud fee for Zeus?” asked Fitzwilliam. “Mrs. Hamilton appears flush so you could raise the
price you know.”

  “Will you take tea with us, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Thank you, yes.”

  “But your vulgar cousin can remain in the stables!” she declared and laughed as Fitzwilliam pretended to stagger in horror at her characterization.

  ++**++

  “Up peas! Up peas!” Matthew begged as soon as Darcy entered the parlour. He deserted his grandmother and ran to Darcy’s feet, pulling on the man’s pant legs, leaving Mrs. Bennet with a smile on her face.

  “Good morning, Master Matthew,” Darcy said as he picked up the little boy and set him on his shoulder where he laughed and clapped his hands.

  “Thank you for returning Mr. Darcy,” Mrs. Bennet said as she rose and stepped close to her guests. “I need to speak to my two youngest girls – they returned from the pasture with a great many questions that I must try and answer.”

  “Mamma, Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam can…” Elizabeth tried to say before she blushed.

  Mrs. Bennet laughed and leaned toward her daughter to kiss her cheek, “It will be well Lizzy. Now, ask Mrs. Hill to bring tea. Refresh the gentlemen and then send them off to the Gouldings for the shooting.”

  At the door, she turned back and graciously said, “If you gentlemen have no other plans for supper, we would be very glad to have you return to Longbourn tonight and join us.”

  She glanced at Elizabeth before she said, “I am certain Matthew will enjoy your company, Mr. Darcy.”

  “Your lady mother is a most gracious hostess, Mrs. Hamilton,” Fitzwilliam said as Darcy lifted Matthew from his shoulder and threw him in the air and caught him to the child’s delight and his mother’s cry.

  Moments later, Jane and Mary returned to the parlour and Jane acted as hostess for the tea before Darcy and Fitzwilliam left for the Gouldings.

  “You have to marry her now Darcy. Your horses are related…” Fitzwilliam called from the safety of his saddle as his horse headed away from the front door of Longbourn where Elizabeth and Darcy were saying farewell.