Remember Me: A Calendar of Love Novel #4

by Parker, Lexy

  “Let’s go,” Jamie whispered, pulling my hand and leading me off the stage.

  Once we were behind the stage with a modicum of privacy, I let out the breath I felt like I had been holding. “Whew.”

  “You did great. You are so brave, and Gage would be very proud.”

  “I hope so. I don’t feel like I did anything special, but I am glad to have done it. The bench is a beautiful tribute and I look forward to seeing it throughout the summer,” I told her.

  “Let’s go find Philip,” she said with a warm smile.

  I followed her through the crowd to find Clay standing with Philip. He was looking at me strangely, as if he was seeing me for the first time. “Hi,” I said with a smile.

  “Hi.”

  “It was a good tribute, very nice,” Philip praised.

  “Thank you. I didn’t write anything. It felt too practiced,” I confessed.

  “I think it was perfect just the way it was. You spoke from the heart and that is always better than something that has been rehearsed to the point it doesn’t mean anything,” Jamie stated.

  “Thank you. It could have gone either way. I could have gotten up there and drawn a complete blank,” I said with a nervous laugh.

  Clay was still staring at me. “Can we talk for a minute?” he asked.

  I looked at Jamie, silently asking her what was going on. She gave a very tiny shrug, indicating she didn’t know what he wanted.

  “Sure,” I said, walking away from Philip, Sadie and Jamie. Clay kept walking until we were out of the festivities.

  He stopped under a tree and looked at me with a very serious expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “You didn’t know what?” I asked.

  “About Gage. I mean, I knew of him, but I didn’t realize he was your husband. I feel like an idiot. I don’t pay a lot of attention to what’s happening in and around town. I like to mind my own business, but I feel like this is a situation where I should have known. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” he said, his voice somber.

  “Clay, it’s fine. I wouldn’t expect you to know. You don’t have to be sorry about it,” I told him.

  He nodded his head. “I’m also really sorry for your loss. I know it must have been difficult. It was Thanksgiving of last year?” he asked.

  “Year and a half,” I answered.

  “The bench is nice. I heard they were going to be honoring the veterans from the town,” he said, clearly nervous.

  “It was very kind. I kind of felt guilty because I know there are others from Hope that have died in combat,” I told him.

  He smiled. “But none so young and none so recent.”

  “True.”

  “I think a lot of people remember him because he was such a popular guy in high school. Everybody knew him and loved him. He was popular and yet, still very humble,” he said.

  I was still smiling. “Yes, he was.”

  He stood there, shifting back and forth before nodding his head. “Okay, then. That’s all I wanted to say. Again, sorry. I should have known who you were. I knew who Jamie was. I’m just kind of a real dolt when it comes to stuff like that.”

  He turned and started to head back toward the festivities. I fell in step beside him. “How’s the truck?” I asked him.

  He chuckled. “It’s sitting at my shop, waiting for some love.”

  I grinned. “I think it is definitely deserving.”

  We rejoined Philip and Jamie before Clay quickly made his excuse to leave us. It was all very odd. I had thought he was pulling me away to ask me out on a date. Philip had said he asked about me. Now that he knew I was single, I assumed he wanted to explore what I thought was a mutual attraction. Apparently, I had been very wrong.

  “Everything okay?” Jamie asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, he just wanted to apologize for not knowing who I was and said he was sorry about Gage.”

  “Oh, that’s nice,” she murmured.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Just what every girl wants—nice.”

  Philip wasn’t paying attention to our conversation. He and Sadie were arguing over the health benefits to a chocolate-covered banana. It was sweet to listen to them, but I couldn’t quite shake the weird feeling I had been left with after my conversation with Clay.

  “I think he’s being polite. He’s a really nice guy and hates to rock the boat in any way,” Jamie said in a hushed voice.

  I nodded my head, as if I understood, but I really didn’t. “Do you think it’s because I’ve been married once? Like that is a turn-off?”

  She burst into laughter. “As in you’re damaged goods?”

  “I guess, yes. I thought there was some interest, but he was looking at me like I was a schoolmarm. He wouldn’t look me directly in the eye. It was weird. I guess I have to accept he isn’t interested. I really feel old now,” I grumbled.

  “Don’t feel old. Maybe he was a little thrown by the Gage connection. You know he was in the marines. I’m sure there is some code about hooking up with a brother’s wife,” she offered.

  “I think the code expires once one of them leaves this earth,” I snapped.

  “Maybe not. Don’t be discouraged. I’ll talk to Philip if you want me to,” she suggested.

  “No! Don’t you dare. I’m not the poor friend who can’t get a date. I’m fine. It wasn’t meant to be. It’s probably too soon anyway. I let myself get carried away. I get it now, though.”

  “If you’re sure,” she said.

  “I’m sure. Now, I’m going to go in search of one of those chocolate bananas Sadie is talking about. I’ll catch up to you guys later,” I said, waving and walking away.

  I couldn’t help but feel a little rejected. It was strange to feel bad for not being asked out. I didn’t think I wanted to be asked out until he didn’t ask. Now, I was doing a little mental tally of my redeeming qualities. Did I not have enough to interest him? I knew I was getting a little long in the tooth, but I wasn’t exactly close to needing a walker. I worked out like a crazy person and felt like I was in good shape with the body of a woman much younger than my actual thirty years. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe my mirror wasn’t being honest. No, it was me not being honest with me. I still saw myself as a young twenty-something and I wasn’t.

  I got my chocolate banana, took a bite and savored the sweet treat before second-guessing my decision. It wasn’t like a thin layer of chocolate was going to land directly on my ass, I assured myself. I walked around the park, saying hello to the people I knew, accepting condolences from those that had seen my speech. After an hour, I was emotionally spent.

  I could understand why Clay wouldn’t want to date me. Everyone in town knew I had been married to the hometown hero. Everyone would always think of me as Gage’s wife. He would be in Gage’s shadow and that wasn’t a place any man wanted to be. I had a feeling it was going to be like that for a long time. Any eligible bachelor from Hope was going to know who I was and who Gage was.

  “Just paint a big ol’ G on my forehead,” I mumbled, walking across the street to get in my car.

  It wasn’t the worst thing in the world to be Gage’s wife, but it was going to be a lonely world moving forward. It was hard to believe it was my future. I had never been single. There had always been Gage.

  Chapter 13

  Clay

  I took a big bite of the waffles I had ordered, washing it down with some coffee as I scanned my phone, checking email and getting a jump on the day. It was my own little bit of self-indulgence. I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast now and again and the waffles were really hitting the spot. It was technically a holiday and almost everywhere in town was closed, except for my business and a few others. I was making a few deliveries today, for a premium price which would certainly help add some much-needed cash to the depleted business coffers.

  I stuffed another syrupy bite into my mouth when I heard a familiar voice. It was the voice that haunted my dreams, or nightmares I supposed they should be called. I
hadn’t heard the voice for a couple of years and now it was everywhere.

  “You’re not hiding. Your giant head is too big to hide,” the voice said, cutting through the quiet diner.

  I cringed, hoping I was wrong as I looked over the booths. Fuck. Son of a bitch. My brother was walking toward me. Clearly, he had come to the restaurant with the intention of talking to me. I looked down at the phone on the table and saw the little voicemail icon. I had ignored his calls yesterday and this morning. Apparently, when I didn’t answer, he decided that meant he had to talk to me face to face.

  He slid into the bench seat across from me and looked at my pile of waffles drenched in homemade maple syrup with obvious disgust. “You’re going to get fat if you eat like that.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “Then I’ll order double to make sure I get full when I do.”

  I couldn’t get away from him. He was like a bad rash, popping up in the worst places. He was unpleasant and truly a pain in my ass. There was no relationship between the two of us. There never had been. I used to always think I wanted to have that brotherly relationship I saw some of my friends have when I was younger, but then I had to deal with Emmitt. The guy had always been cynical and a general jerk from the very first moment I could remember.

  The waitress came by, looking at him with a smile. “Can I get you something for breakfast?” she asked in a friendly manner.

  Emmitt sneered, looking up at her as if she were something stuck to the bottom of his shoes. She flinched, her smile slipping. I gave her a look that said I was sorry and embarrassed by his behavior.

  “No, but you can bring me coffee and a lot of cream. Real cream, not that powdered stuff,” Emmitt snapped.

  She nodded and quickly turned to leave. I was a little jealous, wishing I could run away from him as well. “You don’t have to be an asshole to everyone you meet.”

  “I wasn’t an asshole.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t you think that’s a problem?”

  “What’s a problem?” he snapped irritably.

  “You’re a dick to everyone. You treat everyone as if they are bothering you. The sad thing is, you don’t even know you’re doing it. That’s a problem,” I pointed out.

  “Do you come here every morning?” he asked, completely ignoring what I said.

  “Is that a pick-up line?” I shot back. “If it is, back off. If I say I do come here every morning, are you going to start coming here as well? Because if you are, then I’ll go somewhere else.”

  “Don’t be an asshole. It wasn’t hard to find you. This town isn’t exactly big and since you weren’t answering your phone, I came looking for you. Why are you ignoring my calls?” he asked, as if it was so hard to understand.

  “I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to talk to you,” I told him.

  “Quit acting like a child. I have a plan.”

  I took another bite of my breakfast, which didn’t taste nearly as good as it had two minutes ago. “Congratulations. Is this the part where you rip off your mask and tell me what your evil plan is before I foil it?”

  He glared at me. “Can you be serious for a minute? What’s wrong with you?”

  “I can be serious for three minutes and the only thing wrong with me is you have soured my breakfast,” I grumbled.

  “I have a plan to help your company start making money—real money,” he said, and I sensed a hint of excitement in his voice.

  I raised my eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  “I had a look at your financials the other day. You’re sinking fast. You’re going to lose everything if you don’t make some changes. I doubt you know what it takes to actually be successful. I’m taking pity on a family member and will help you pull your head out of your ass so you can actually make money,” he said.

  I dropped my fork, picked up my napkin and carefully wiped my mouth. “You looked at my financials?”

  “Yes.”

  “What the fuck, Emmitt? You can’t go digging around in my personal business. What gives you the right?” I hissed.

  “I do. I have a right because you’ve never known what it takes to manage a business and I am your big brother and by the law of nature, I have to help you out. Plus, when you fail, you’re going to make us all look bad,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “I’m not going to make anyone look bad. You’ll be in New York. Trust me, no one is going to call you in New York and tell you I’m back here embarrassing you.”

  “Actually, I’m thinking about moving back here,” he said.

  My mouth went dry and I nearly choked on the waffles. “What? Why? Who invited you?”

  “Nobody invited me, asshole. This is a free country. Didn’t we just go over all that at the ridiculous party in the park?” he snapped.

  “Then move somewhere else in this free country. You don’t want to live here, and I certainly don’t want you to live here.”

  He glared at me. “I’m coming back and I’m going to help you turn your business around.”

  My mouth fell open. “No, you are not. I don’t know if you drank one too many bottles of scotch or maybe you got hit in the head with a baseball bat, but the last thing you’re going to do is help me in my business. I don’t want you to help me cross the street.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You need help. Mom and Dad don’t need you moving back in with them because you went belly up. Plus, what would their friends think? One son is a successful millionaire and the other can’t figure out how to drive from point A to point B. They’re already a little embarrassed by your unwillingness to make something of yourself.”

  I didn’t let his words get to me. I couldn’t. If I did, I would kill him. Then Mom and Dad would have a real Cain and Abel situation on their hands. Emmitt was purposely goading me. It’s how he got off. “Your life must really be miserable.”

  “Why do you say that?” he asked, sipping his coffee and making a sour face. “God, this shit is awful. When I move here, I am bringing cases of good coffee so I don’t have to drink this swill.”

  “I say you’re miserable because you come down here insulting all of us. If your life was so grand, you’d still be in New York. You’re here because you feel like crap. You came here to try and insult and belittle me to make yourself feel better. I can and have run circles around you, Emmitt. You’re the one struggling to be a human being. At least I have that going for me. I have dignity and respect and you have your shitty attitude and your expensive shoes. Who really wins?” I said with a soft smile.

  He shook his head. “You’re a loser. You always have been. It’s the way you think. You have to change the way you think if you ever want to succeed in life. You need me. You don’t have the brains it takes to make it in the world of business.”

  “My brains are just fine. I’ve managed this long without you.”

  “You’ve managed. That’s it. You’re treading water, barely staying afloat and it doesn’t look like that is going to last much longer. What do you plan on doing when your business goes under? How do you think you’re going to pay the bills then? Are you going to mooch off our parents?” he snapped.

  I checked my watch. “I’ve got to go. I do have a business to run.”

  I stood up, pulled a twenty from my wallet and left it on the table.

  “Run away, little brother. That’s what you always do. You know I’m right. You know you’re drowning. I’m the only one that can save you.”

  I looked at him, shaking my head. “If that’s the case, let me drown. I want nothing from you and I certainly never want to see you darkening my door again.”

  I heard him chuckling as I walked out the door. I couldn’t believe he actually thought I would welcome him into my business. The man was so arrogant. As if he could come in, wave a magic wand and make everything all better. The guy didn’t know the first thing about me and I would never allow him to butt his big ass into my business, personally or professionally.

  By the time I got to the shop, the waffles
in my belly were souring my stomach. I was going to do a better job of locking my shit up, starting with a password he wouldn’t be able to guess. I unlocked the door and hit the lights. I was used to being in the place alone. Before, it had always been a place of comfort and accomplishment. Now, I saw all my failures and shortcomings. Emmitt had a way of doing that, shining a light into the places of my life I didn’t particularly want highlighted. It was a little disturbing to know he had an uncanny knack for knowing exactly what buttons to push.

  I sat down at the computer, looking around my messy desk and acknowledging I might have kind of set myself up for his snooping. I only had a few deliveries and then I would absolutely take care of the business side of things.

  I pulled up the schedule for the day, hit the print button and waited for the sheet to pop out. I checked the list and smiled when I saw the vet clinic had a delivery today. That was lucky. Lucky for me. I wasn’t sure if Dani would be working but I hoped she was. I got up and moved to the small bathroom to check my appearance in the mirror. I hadn’t dressed this morning with the intention of seeing her.

  I had shaved, thankfully, but I was wearing my old faded polo and a pair of comfortable jeans. It wasn’t exactly a three-piece suit, but it was all I had with the short notice. I headed for the back room, collected what I needed and carried it to my truck—my personal truck. No way was I going to risk driving that other piece of shit and having it break down in her parking lot.

  I was on my way out the door when I stopped and went back into my office. I quickly put a password on the thing and shut it down. I knew it probably wouldn’t stop Emmitt from snooping, but I had to at least make it more difficult for him.

  Chapter 14

  Dani

  Holidays always seemed like the perfect time for pets to get into trouble. We were all currently waiting on an emergency call. A boxer had swallowed a rock or possibly several rocks. It was the calls like the one coming in that made me hesitate to get a dog. I loved dogs, especially boxers, but my God, they were more difficult than children! I wasn’t sure I was ready to be responsible for another living, breathing, pooping creature.