Remember Me: A Calendar of Love Novel #4

by Parker, Lexy

  Jamie had been trying to talk me into getting a pet for the last few months. I knew she thought I was lonely and felt a little guilty about her own happy marriage. I assured her about a thousand times I wasn’t all that lonely. I was lonely, but I didn’t feel alone. I had found a new normal and had slowly become more accepting of the idea I was a single woman in a big house with way too much space and no chance of filling the space with other humans.

  I guess a couple of pets did make sense. I liked my freedom, but I thought about how nice it would be to come home to a couple of wagging tails of the feline and canine variety. I could curl up on the couch at night with something other than my fuzzy blanket. I could have a warm body in bed with me. That’s the part that really appealed to me.

  Kasey came into the room where I was restocking supplies, interrupting my little fantasy of being licked and loved on by some hairy beast.

  “Your speech made me cry,” she said abruptly.

  I turned to look at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “No, don’t be. It’s a compliment. Maybe I should have phrased it better,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

  I smiled. “It’s okay. It is very sweet. I do enjoy making people cry.”

  She laughed and sniffed a little, swiping at her eyes. “It was just very sweet and sad.”

  “I don’t talk about him often. It feels like forever ago that I had a husband,” I told her.

  She gave me a look full of pity. It was a look I hated but had grown used to. After Gage died, I would go to the grocery store or the gym and people would all look at me with the same sadness in their eyes. It had driven me to hide out in the house for weeks. I couldn’t handle being reminded of my grief whenever I looked into the faces of others.

  “I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you. I can’t imagine losing Jason. He’s been a huge part of my world for years. How long were you and Gage together?”

  I smiled, thinking of our first kiss, our wedding and then the funeral. It hadn’t been long enough. “Ten years,” I said.

  Her mouth fell open. “Oh my gosh. That’s forever.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “It wasn’t nearly long enough. For most of those ten years, he was in the marines. I feel like I only really got two years with him. It just wasn’t enough. I wanted more time,” I said, my voice getting a little froggy as the emotions swelled.

  “I mean, like, how did you even get out of bed or function? I can’t imagine how devastated you must have been. I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t ask so many sensitive questions. I’ve never met anyone who’s lived through something so traumatic,” she said, her voice full of awe.

  I laughed. “I don’t think I did get out of bed for several days and then, that was only because Jamie made me. I honestly don’t remember those first few weeks after he died. I had the service and then I had to deal with all the paperwork. There is a lot to do when someone dies. I think that is a good and bad thing. It keeps you putting one foot in front of the other, but my God, it sucked. There is a certain numbness you feel. It was painful, but like so many others, I got through. Humans are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for.”

  “Jamie seems like a really good person,” she commented. “I’ve never had a friend like that. I think it’s probably because I have always been so close to Jason.”

  I nodded my head. “It helped that she was Gage’s little sister. It was easy to be with him and her. She is a beautiful person inside and out. I truly don’t think I could have survived without her. The first year of firsts was rough, but she was there beside me through it all. Then Philip came into the picture. He is a former marine and actually knew Gage, so he had plenty of fresh, new stories to add to the pile of memories Jamie and I always waded through on one of those big firsts. He added fresh perspective and really, I see a lot of Gage in Philip. It made it a little easier.”

  “I’m in awe of you. You’re a strong woman and I want to be like you one day. You are an inspiration.”

  I burst into laughter. “Be careful what you wish for.”

  “Aw, come on. You know you’re beautiful and so put together. Most days I can barely remember to put shoes on,” she laughed.

  I grinned, appreciating her compliment. The buzzer at the back door rang. We both exchanged a look. “I thought she knew to go to the front door,” I mumbled.

  “I can get it,” Kasey said, putting down the box of supplies in her hand.

  “It’s fine. I’ll bring him in here,” I said, walking out of the room and going to the back door, expecting it to be our rock-eating boxer.

  When I pushed open the door, I was surprised to see Clay. He was holding a box and reminded me so much of a little boy being forced to go door to door selling chocolate bars.

  “Hi,” he greeted me, somewhat sheepishly, shifting from one foot to the other and not making direct eye contact.

  “Hi. I wasn’t expecting a delivery,” I told him.

  He looked at the small box he was holding. “It’s for the clinic.”

  I winked. “I gathered that.”

  “Sorry, I suppose you knew that,” he mumbled.

  “You’re working today?” I asked him, feeling a little out of sorts and not sure what to say.

  He nodded. “Just me today. I only have a few deliveries.”

  “Thank you for bringing it over. I’m sure it could have waited until tomorrow,” I assured him.

  He stood there, his dark brown eyes finally meeting mine. There was an inherent kindness in them. They had a way of making a person feel warm and fuzzy, like he was wrapping you up with a warm hug with his eyes. I could see myself getting lost in those eyes. It was a very different attraction with him. It felt more—adult, was the only word I could think of. Mature and grown-up and like the kind of attraction that is solid and grounded.

  “Are you working all day today?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, just a few hours. I came in to help with a couple of emergencies. It happens every holiday.”

  “Emergencies?” he asked.

  I giggled. “Animals are a lot like kids. People treat them like they are their children and when they get hurt or sick, the last thing they want to do is wait until there is an appointment available during the week. If Dr. Mike won’t see them, they’ll drive to the animal hospital. He wants to keep his loyal customers.”

  He nodded his head in understanding. “Makes sense.”

  “Should I grab my car and jumper cables?” I asked him when he made no move to leave.

  “What? Why?”

  “Is the truck dead?”

  “No. I drove my own rig today. I’m not messing with that other beast,” he said with a laugh.

  “Probably for the best. I would hate to have to rescue you.”

  “Hey, I’m a really good victim and you played a very good hero,” he teased.

  I put the package on a counter inside the door and stepped outside. It was a beautiful morning with birds singing and the smell of flowers in the air. Clay was still hanging out, not making a move to leave. I didn’t want him to leave. I felt a lot like I did in junior high, talking to a boy, but not actually talking. We were both being very awkward.

  “Any big plans for the day?” I asked him.

  He looked at me again and I got the feeling he was reading me. “Can I take you to dinner sometime?” he blurted out.

  I blinked, several times, not sure I’d heard him correctly. He’d been so shy and then at the park he’d completely pulled away and shut me down. I wasn’t sure I understood the question. “Dinner?” I repeated.

  “Yes. Dinner. I’d like to take you to dinner. If you want to. If you don’t, that’s cool. No pressure,” he said, stammering over the words once again.

  “I’m free on Friday,” I offered.

  He smiled, the little wrinkles around his eyes making my heart skip a beat. “Perfect. I’ll pick you up.”

  He started walking, moving to his w
aiting truck. He jumped inside and was about to close the door when I reached out and grabbed it. He was running away from me. He’d asked me to dinner and now he was running. He’d asked the question, but not offered me any details.

  “Wait!” I said.

  He looked at me. “What’s up?”

  I raised my hands. “Do you think you should give me an idea about what time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Uh, okay. Am I supposed to guess?”

  “No.”

  “What are you doing?” I asked when he started the truck.

  The man was acting like he was running from a pack of hounds. “I’m leaving.”

  “Didn’t you just ask me out to dinner?” I asked with serious confusion.

  “Yes. You said yes. And now, I’m getting the hell out of here before I do something stupid and you change your mind,” he said with a grin. “Bye, Dani. I’ll call you later and we’ll work out the details.”

  He closed the door, put the truck in drive and sped away. I stood there, watching the taillights disappear, my mouth hanging open. “What the hell was that?” I whispered.

  I couldn’t believe he’d asked me out and then run. It was the strangest thing I’d ever seen or heard about. I wondered if he had some weird tick I should know about. Was it going to be like this all the time? Would he be talking to me at dinner and then get up and run away? The guy was cute and quirky and while I was drawn to that, part of me was a little worried I would find myself standing alone a lot if I decided to continue dating him.

  I couldn’t continue to date him. I had to make it to the first date. I wasn’t sure how he planned on calling me. I hadn’t given him my number. He couldn’t pick me up because he didn’t know where I lived. I let out a sigh, shaking my head as I walked back inside the clinic. I considered asking Jamie if the guy had some issues I should know about but stopped myself. I’d figure it out on my own. If he didn’t call or show up sometime during the week, I wouldn’t bother with him. Maybe I had somehow pressured him into asking me to dinner and he hadn’t really wanted to. I knew I could be intimidating at times. Although I certainly didn’t think I’d threatened him or coerced him into asking me out.

  There was no explanation. I would have to wait and see.

  Chapter 15

  Clay

  It was nice to be in the passenger seat and let Philip do the driving. We were teaming up today to take care of some large delivery orders. It made sense and I didn’t mind hanging out with him for a few hours. It had been a while since it had been just the two of us. He was a busy guy with a wife and a little girl and the few times we did manage to get away were few and far between. Although I loved Jamie and Sadie, sometimes it was good to just have a little privacy to talk like men without guarding our words.

  “Any more from Emmitt?” he asked, pulling out of the parking lot.

  “Nope. I’m hoping he was just drunk and babbling,” I replied.

  “Wasn’t it early in the morning when he found you at the diner?”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean he was sober. I saw the way he was downing the scotch that night. He could have been drunk. I didn’t get close enough to smell him,” I retorted.

  “What about your mom? Has she mentioned his big idea to move back?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. Then again, I haven’t actually talked to her. I don’t want her to try and convince me to let him move in with me or to work with me. She likes to meddle, and she still has this idea he and I are going to be the best of friends if she just keeps forcing us together.”

  “It’s kind of sweet when you think about it.”

  “There’s nothing sweet about Emmitt. I don’t want to be his buddy. I don’t want him in town and I definitely don’t want him anywhere near my business. I’m going to change the locks on the shop. I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a copy of my key. He probably sneaks in there at night and snoops through my stuff,” I grumbled.

  He chuckled. “What would be the point in that? He’s already seen everything.”

  “I don’t know; to be an asshole. A bigger asshole than he already is.”

  “Why do you think he wants to be a part of the company after all this time? Was this supposed to be a family business?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I have no idea why he cares. It was never a family business. I started it on my own, no help from my parents or him. I’m sure it’s just another way to get at me. He hates that he can’t control me. I don’t know what I ever did to him, but he’s hated me from the moment my parents brought me home from the hospital. We’ve never gotten along. I have no memories of us ever hanging out and playing video games or throwing a ball back and forth. He’s always been a dick and I think he is too damn old to change now.”

  “Are you sure the two of you are related?” he joked.

  “No, I’m not sure. Either I was adopted, or my parents found him at the bottom of a trashcan and took pity on his poor, black soul. It’s probably why my mom is so nice to him. She feels bad for him. She showers him with love to try and drown out the darkness in him. It isn’t working. Someone should tell her it is never going to work.”

  He burst into laughter. “Maybe he’s trying to make amends for all those years of torture he inflicted on you. He’s a late bloomer. Your mother may have finally been able to get through to him.”

  “No. Emmitt doesn’t make amends. I don’t think he knows what that is. Emmitt is all about Emmitt. He apologizes for nothing because he doesn’t think he’s ever done anything that warrants an apology. He goes through life like a steamroller. He just keeps moving, crushing the hearts and souls of the people he encounters without ever looking back,” I said.

  “Sounds harsh. You said he’s got a good head for business. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to get his advice on how to make the company profitable again,” he suggested.

  My head whipped around as I glared at him in the driver’s seat. “No. No way. You are out of your fucking mind if you think I would ever ask him for help. I’m not rolling out the red carpet for him.”

  “Clay, you know things aren’t going well with the company. You told me that yourself. It might be a good idea to have him give you a few suggestions. I’m not saying give him the keys to the store and walk away. I don’t think you need to make him a partner or even hire him necessarily. If he’s willing to impart some financial wisdom to you, then let him. Don’t take it personally,” he stated. “Either you take his free advice, or you hire a consultant to help you figure things out. I don’t have a head for numbers or I would try to help.”

  I shook my head. “It is personal. He’s not offering me help out of the goodness of his heart. He wants something out of it. Emmitt doesn’t do anything for free.”

  “Like money? You think he’ll charge you a consulting fee?”

  “I don’t know. Money. Power. Bragging rights,” I muttered. “It’s hard to say with him. I can’t explain it well because you’re a normal person. You don’t think like him. He isn’t normal. He sees everyone as an enemy or someone to be conquered. He isn’t normal,” I reiterated, knowing I probably sounded like a crazy, jealous little brother. It was so much more than that. I truly believed my brother had some serious mental issues along the lines of a sociopath.

  “I’ll admit, the guy did put me on edge when I met him, and I know you well enough to know you don’t jump to conclusions. You are the very last person to make snap judgments, so I will take your word on that, but a quick look at the books couldn’t hurt,” he said, clearly trying to calm my irritation.

  I growled. “It could hurt. It gives him the upper hand.”

  “Do you think he was serious when he said he was thinking about moving back?” Philip asked.

  “I don’t know. Part of me thinks he would do it just to piss me off.”

  “That’s a lot of effort just to make you mad. I think you might be exaggerating just a touch,” he lectured.

  “Why else would he give up his amazi
ng, successful career in the big city? There is nothing here for him. He hates it here. He makes sure to mention that every chance he gets. He would be miserable here. Emmitt on a normal day is hard to handle. Can you imagine a miserable Emmitt? That is about the last person I want to interact with on a daily basis,” I told him firmly.

  He was quiet for a few seconds. “Do you think there could be another reason?” he asked softly.

  “As in?”

  “As in, did he get fired? Maybe he’s been lying about how successful he’s been up there, and the jig is up,” he suggested.

  I mulled over the idea. “I don’t know. It’s hard to say. I’ve never seen his life up there. I suppose it’s possible.”

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but maybe he needs you. Maybe he’s struggling and needs to feel useful, valuable, you know what I mean? This could be your chance to help him and be the hero.”

  I groaned, shaking my head. “I truly would feel a little bad for him if that was the case, but I don’t want him in my business, literally. I don’t trust him, and I don’t think he would have my best intentions at heart. He might be able to make a minor difference, but at what cost? He’d claim it was all him. He would take all the credit for the business being successful,” I complained.

  Philip scowled at me. “Now you sound like a jealous little brother.”

  “I’m not jealous of him.”

  “One peek at the books. What could it hurt?”

  “Me. It could hurt my pride, ego, whatever,” I snapped.

  “What if he could find the one thing that would make the company turn a huge profit?” he asked.

  I grinned. “You mean turn a big, fat profit so I could hire an expensive hitman?” I joked.

  “If that’s what it takes, whatever,” he said, shrugging a shoulder.