Courage

by Kristen Proby

  “I don’t know what that is anymore,” she says softly. “Mom and Dad—”

  “Are ridiculous,” he says with disgust. “I love them, but they’re being stupid about this whole thing. And, frankly, I refuse to take sides. I get why you don’t want to have a relationship with them. I wouldn’t, either. I don’t see them much, haven’t in a few years. The Army was my family for a long time, and now it’s not. I’m here for good. I want to mend things.”

  She nods, her eyes still on the kids as they laugh at something that Seth just said.

  “Are you okay?” she asks.

  Gage swallows hard, shuffles his feet again. “I will be.”

  “Well, I guess you’d better come to dinner one night soon. And, it’s your birthday next month. We’ll have to do something for that.”

  He sweeps her up into a hug and holds on tightly. At first, she doesn’t hug him in return, but after a few moments, she relents, wraps her arms around his back, and pats him there.

  When he releases her, he nods, the stiffness gone from his body. In fact, they both look much more relaxed than they did just a minute ago. “I’d like that.”

  “I guess so.” She laughs and nudges him with her shoulder. “But I still don’t bake well, so I’ll have to buy your cake.”

  “I don’t eat gluten,” he replies, making her laugh again. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I want cake,” I put in. “I’ll eat all the gluten.”

  I should have let them have this conversation in private, but I’m glad I listened. I know enough of the situation to know that Tash’s family hurt her in the past. And I’m glad she’s going to start mending things with her brother.

  I’d give just about anything to have even five minutes with my sister.

  “Help!”

  I turn in time to see Kevin on the galloping horse. Seth is jogging after him, but Kevin suddenly falls to the ground, and the horse runs off.

  “Uh-oh,” Tash says as we hurry over to where Kevin is lying in the grass. “Are you okay, kiddo?”

  Kevin’s eyes are full of tears, but he’s trying to look brave.

  “I just wanted to go faster,” he says. “Seth said if I kicked her a little harder, she’d run.”

  “Yeah, that’s how it works,” Tash says. “Weren’t ready for it, huh?”

  “It was really fast,” Kevin says, and Tash and I smile at each other.

  He really wasn’t going that fast, but I bet it felt that way to him.

  “Is anything besides your feelings hurt?” I ask him.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Okay, it’s time to get back on,” Seth says as he leads Suzie back to us.

  “I don’t want to,” Kevin says, shaking his head. “I’m done for today.”

  “See, that’s the thing,” I say as I help Kevin to his feet and brush off his jeans, “when you fall off the horse, you have to get back on right away so you know that even though it scared you, it didn’t beat you.”

  “My butt hurts,” Kevin says.

  “Yeah,” Tash replies. “That happens when you’re learning to ride. But your uncle is exactly right. You have to get back on after you fall off.”

  “Have you ever fallen off a horse?” Kevin asks her.

  “Lots of times,” she says with a smile. “But getting back on means you’re not afraid of it.”

  “I want to see you ride,” Kevin says.

  The kid is damn smart.

  “Okay, I will. But not until you get back on.” Tash leans over to pet Suzie on the neck. “Hello, old friend. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I was here to see you.”

  “You ready to get back on?” Seth asks Kevin.

  “Okay. I guess.”

  Seth helps Kevin into the saddle and murmurs to the boy, helping him regain his confidence. Gage and Kelsey are playing in the grass nearby.

  “You’re pretty amazing,” I say as I wrap my arm around Tash’s shoulders.

  “Yeah. I know.”

  Chapter 9

  ~Natasha~

  That might have been the best shower I’ve ever had. It’s been so long since I last rode a horse, I know I’m going to be ridiculously sore tomorrow.

  Hell, I’m sore now.

  But the hot water on my already weary muscles felt like heaven. Thankfully, the kids went to bed without a fight tonight, and I’m ready to plow through my nightly chores and then relax for a while in the quiet.

  I shake out my wet hair and then twirl it into a soppy knot on the top of my head. I’ll sleep like this, and when I wake in the morning, I’ll have damp curls.

  I check in on the kids, and see that the afternoon in the fresh air wiped them out, too. They’re sleeping peacefully.

  Tomorrow’s Monday. That means I still have to make their lunches, ensure their clothes are clean and ready, and I have to clean the kitchen from dinner.

  I’m already exhausted. Adding these nightly chores to my already busy schedule has been taxing. I knew that Monica had a lot on her plate, but now that I know the intimate ins and outs of what it takes to be a mother of two small children, my respect for my best friend has only grown.

  If I were on speaking terms with my mother, I would call and apologize to her in case I was ever difficult as a kid.

  I sigh as I walk into the kitchen and then stop in my tracks. I can only stare in amazement.

  Sam is just zipping up the second lunch box and then sets them both on the edge of the island for the kids to grab in the morning. The kitchen is clean.

  Like, spotlessly clean. He even thought to turn on the flameless candle I have sitting on the stovetop, giving the kitchen a warm glow.

  In addition, the twins’ school clothes are folded neatly on one of the stools.

  As Sam reaches for a damp rag and wipes down the countertops again, I realize in my heart of hearts that I’m totally in love with this man. Yes, I’ve had a crush on him my entire life, but being with him, living with him has only shown me what an incredible person Sam is. He’s kind and sexy. Supportive.

  And I am head over heels in love with him. My heart stutters. My cheeks flush. And I would go take a moment to catch my breath but I can’t stop looking at him.

  I watch in fascination as he pulls a wine glass down from the cabinet and pours some of my favorite wine.

  He turns and smiles at me. “Here. You’ve earned it.”

  “Are you trying to butter me up for something?”

  He takes my hand and leads me into the living room, where we sit on the couch. He’s on one end, and I’m on the other, but my couch isn’t that big, so we’re not too far from each other.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You did all of my chores for me.”

  “I didn’t realize they were your chores,” he says as I watch him over the rim of my wine glass. “They’re just things that needed to be done, so I did them.”

  I could cry. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, and having him here to help with these things, without even being asked, is a huge deal.

  He did all my work for me, so now all I have to do is relax.

  I feel like I won the lottery.

  “Thanks.” I lean back and rest my head on a pillow. “I appreciate it.”

  Sam reaches for one of my feet and starts rubbing the arch with his thumb.

  “You’ll put me to sleep.”

  “How do you feel after your day in the saddle?” he asks.

  “God, I’m tired.” I laugh a little. “Riding is hard on the body.”

  “You looked damn sexy on that horse. I knew that Seth taught you and Monica to ride, but I didn’t know you were so good at it.”

  “There’s nothing like being on horseback,” I say with a sigh. “Even when it’s cold outside. And did you notice that by the time I got on, the clouds decided to settle in? It was damn chilly.”

  “I noticed.”

  Of course, he did. There isn’t much he doesn’t see.

  “Well, even when the air is coo
l, it’s awesome. And Suzie is a sweetheart.”

  “You impressed the kids.”

  “Yeah.” I close my eyes and sigh when his thumb digs in at just the right place. “That was a side benefit. Kevin isn’t easy to impress.”

  “I don’t know. He seems impressed by me.”

  “Of course, he is. You’re a firefighter, Sam. He thinks that’s the coolest thing ever. On Halloween, he suggested that he should go ahead and start a fire so he could put it out, just like you.”

  He stops rubbing. “Jesus, what did you say?”

  “That he’s not a real fireman and he absolutely cannot do that. But I’ve stopped lighting candles around the house, and I threw out the candle lighter, just in case. Replaced them all with the flameless.”

  “Good thinking.”

  “Is Kevin going to end up being one of those kids that everyone thinks is a big jerk and gets in trouble all the time?” I can’t even believe I just said that out loud. “Because we all know kids like that, and I do not want him to be that way. He’s usually so sweet, but there have been moments these past few months when he’s just a brat. God, please don’t tell anyone I said that.”

  “Kevin’s a good kid,” Sam says quietly. “He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, and you said yourself that he’s been doing better this school year.”

  “Yeah, so far so good.”

  “I think the adjustment has been rough on everyone,” he continues and switches to my other foot. “They lost their parents, moved in here. New routine, new people. I think, all things considered, they’re doing well.”

  “You’re right. They really are. I just worry about them. At least I have a fireman living here, in case he decides to rub two sticks together.”

  “No Boy Scouts for that kid,” Sam says with a laugh. “And speaking of living here, I think it’s time I let the apartment go.”

  Hope sets up residence in my belly, but before I can ask questions, he keeps talking.

  “I only go there to gather more clothes. It’s a waste of money, and someone else could be renting it. Gage, for instance. I’ll have to go through some of the boxes and will probably need another storage unit, but it’s silly to keep it.”

  “Okay, I—”

  “I heard from the Spokane department,” he continues, clearly on a roll, and I narrow my eyes at him. “They said I could take through the holidays to figure out what I’m doing.”

  “So, you’re still considering that job?”

  He sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. “It’s the job I’ve worked a long time for, you know? I love Cunningham Falls, and I always will. But there’s only so far up to go here. I would like the change of pace. But there are a lot of reasons to stay here. I’m glad they gave me more time because I just want to enjoy the holidays with you and the kids and then see where things stand.”

  Part of me is relieved for the reprieve. That Sam’s not going anywhere right now, and we can forget about the other job and just pretend that things won’t change.

  The other part of me wants to demand that he decide immediately. I want to tell him to choose. Choose me. Stay here, with me.

  But I can’t. This job could be his dream, and I’ll be damned if I ask anyone to give up their dream for me. That’s too much pressure.

  “You’ll do what’s right for you,” is the only thing I can think to say that doesn’t include: Don’t leave me.

  Before I do something silly and beg, I scoot over toward him and boost myself up to straddle his lap.

  “Hey,” he says with a naughty grin. The one that always makes me a little weak in the knees.

  “My inner thighs are on fire,” I inform him with a laugh. “But I don’t care. You look too good sitting here on my couch. So, I’m attacking you.”

  “You always look good,” he replies. “And there’s probably something I can do for your inner thighs.”

  “Really?” I cock a brow. “What would that be?”

  “I can rub them,” he begins as his fingertips drag lazily up and down the backs of my calves. “Kiss them better.”

  “That wouldn’t suck.” I kiss his forehead and brush my fingers through his soft hair. “Have I told you how much I like your muscles?”

  “My muscles?” He leans his head back on the cushion and watches me with humor-filled eyes.

  “Heck, yes. You’ve always had a good body, but then you went and got these muscles for days, and I just can’t resist them.”

  “You know, it’s a lot of pressure when a woman says she likes your body.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because now I feel the need to keep it. Which means I’ll have to spend more time at the gym and cut back on pizza.”

  “Pizza is too delicious to give up,” I say, kissing the side of his neck.

  “I said cut back,” he clarifies.

  Suddenly, he stands with me in his arms and grins again. “Let’s go to bed.”

  “Great idea.”

  “Maybe I should be Spiderman when I grow up,” Kevin says as we leave the theater. I decided to take the kids to an afternoon showing of Spiderman after school.

  “What happened to being a fireman?”

  He takes my hand and scrunches his nose, thinking it over.

  “Could I be both?”

  I laugh and then shrug. “Sure. Who says you can’t? A firefighting Spiderman might be just what this community needs.”

  I ruffle his hair as Kelsey points to Drips. “Can we see Aspen?”

  “Of course, we can, if she’s here. I think she could be in London right now.”

  I push the door open and the blissful scent of coffee and baked goods greets me. It’s like heaven.

  “What are you guys up to?”

  To my surprise, Aspen is behind the counter and grins when the twins run around to hug her.

  “We went to the movies,” Kelsey informs her. “And then we came here.”

  “I’m glad you did.” Aspen smiles over at me. “Do you need me to keep them for you?”

  “Oh, no, we just wanted to pop in and say hi. I don’t always need something. Sometimes, I just want to see my friend.”

  “I’m glad.” Aspen busies herself making a couple of hot chocolates and hands them over to the kids. “That’ll be fifty dollars.”

  Kevin’s eyes get big. “I don’t have any money.”

  “Well, I guess they’re on the house, then.” She grins as the kids hurry over to claim a table and drink their chocolate. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” I lean on the counter to chat. It’s quiet in here today. “Sam’s on his third day of being on call, and the kids have been so good at school, I decided it was time for a treat.”

  “You’re doing great with them,” she says, surprising me. “Kids are hard. I can’t imagine how it is with twins. They’re happy and healthy. It’s plain to see that you’re doing a good job.”

  “Don’t make me cry,” I warn her, and then we both glance to the door when it opens, and a woman in a wheelchair rolls inside. “Hi, Tate.”

  “Hey, Natasha. I need an afternoon pick-me-up.”

  “I totally get it. I’ll move out of the way.”

  I join the kids as Tate orders a coffee from Aspen. I don’t know the other woman very well. Because it’s a small town, I know that she’s a talented interior decorator here in Cunningham Falls. She decorated Ellie and Liam’s house when they built it several years ago.

  After she takes her coffee and leaves, I return to my place at the counter to talk to Aspen.

  “You know I hate gossip,” Aspen begins.

  “Just tell me.”

  “Well, you know how Tate had that stroke last year, and it was a doozy? How does a woman, not yet thirty, have a stroke? Anyway, she got the news that the likelihood of walking again is pretty small. And then, that rat bastard she married just before the stroke left her. Walked right out the door and didn’t look back.”

  “What a prick.” I shake my head. “Why d
o people suck so bad sometimes?”

  “Excellent question,” she replies. “I like Tate. I don’t know her real well, just from when she comes in here, but Ellie loved working with her on their mountain house, and I’ve heard nothing but good things about her. So, what? Something tragic happens, and the dude bails? His balls should be chopped off.”

  “Agreed.” I blow out a breath. “What are you doing in town? I thought you were in London.”

  “We were, but the whole family is making its way over here for the holidays. Callum and I decided just to come now since not much is going on in London. And you know I prefer to be more hands-on with the café.”

  “The whole family is coming? Even the king and queen?”

  “Yes, but they’ll only be here the week of Christmas. It’s crazy. It’s tradition to spend the holiday in Scotland, but since they visited Cunningham Falls right before Callum and I got engaged—which feels like a million years ago—they want to come here every chance they get.”

  “It’s a special place.” I turn when I hear things getting heated at the table where the twins are. “What’s up, guys?”

  “I finished mine so I asked her if I could have a sip of hers,” Kevin explains as if this is a perfectly reasonable request.

  “And I said no,” Kelsey adds.

  “No means no, dude,” I say with a shrug. “You’ve had plenty.”

  Before he can argue, several fire trucks go racing past the café, headed toward the neighborhood not far away.

  “I saw uncle Sam!” Kevin says.

  “Must be something big.” Aspen scowls. “That’s a lot of trucks.”

  “Can we go see?” Kelsey asks.

  I expect the sirens to quiet as the trucks get farther away, but they don’t.

  They’re not far away.

  “Let’s go check it out,” Aspen suggests. “I’ll lock up and get some fresh air with you. It’s almost closing time anyway.”

  She closes up, and we follow the sirens just two blocks up in the neighborhood, just a couple of blocks from my place.

  They’ve barricaded the road about half a block from the house and trucks and an ambulance surround it. Sam jumps out of one of the fire engines, dressed in his gear, and Kevin gets so excited, I think he might try to run through the barricade toward Sam.