[2016] First Comes Love

by Emily Goodwin

  I bring him closer and push my hand under the elastic waistband of his boxers, taking hold of his erection.

  “Are you…” he kisses me. “Sure … this … isn’t…” More kisses. “Too fast?”

  Nothing is too fast right now. If anything, he needs to hurry up and finish undressing me.

  “Not too fast,” I pant. “I want this. I want you.”

  Noah lets out a growl, kisses me with more force than before, and scoops me up. I’m clinging to him, trying my best to keep kissing him, but let’s face it. It looks easier in the movies than it actually is. We move down a hall and into his bedroom.

  It’s dark and I can’t see anything around us. It’s just his body against mine, our hearts racing in perfect rhythm. He lays me down on an unmade bed, cool silk sheets underneath me, and gets back on top, putting himself between my legs. I take his shirt off and run my hands over his chest, imagining the tattoos that mark his skin.

  My legs wrap tightly around him, and it’s just the thin layers of our undies keeping up apart. As if he can read my mind, Noah goes down, slowly rolling the sides of my panties off my hips and down my legs. His head goes between my thighs. His beard brushes against my skin, tickling and rough at the same time. He puts his mouth to me and flicks his tongue against my clit.

  I gasp and tangle the sheets in my hands. He takes his time, and the soft wetness of his tongue against me contrasting with the gruff hair on his face is perfect. I’m so close to coming. My heart is racing and pleasure winds tight inside of me. My breath catches. I’m right there, teetering on the edge of orgasm. Noah starts to pull his head away.

  “Don’t you dare stop now,” I order, letting go of the sheets to put both hands on his head. I slit my eyes open to see Noah grin before getting back to work. Only a minute later, my body goes rigid as I climax. Noah holds me against him, not letting up until I tremble, ears ringing from the force of the orgasm.

  My head falls to the side, and I’m panting. He moves back on top of me, wiping his mouth before kissing my neck. I can’t move yet even if I tried. My fingertips are numb and I can’t feel anything but the after effects of coming.

  Noah gently runs his fingers through my hair while he kisses my collarbone. My heart slows down to a normal rate and I can breathe again. I turn my head, cupping Noah’s face in my hand. I kiss him, tasting myself on his lips, but don’t care. I run my other hand down his back, squeezing his tight ass as I push him to me, letting him know I’m ready. I part my legs and he kisses my neck as he pushes into me.

  “Fuck, you feel good,” he moans and slowly pulls back then thrusts back in. He starts moving his hips faster and faster, and I think he’s going to come already when he suddenly stops. “I’m not going to hurt the baby, right?”

  “No,” I say shortly. I was about ready to come again too. “It’s way up there.”

  “Are you sure it’s safe?”

  If I weren’t on the brink of orgasm, I’d find his concern cute. But right now, not so much. “Yes. You can’t hurt it.”

  “Even if I push in like this?” He pushes his cock deeper inside me and holy fuck that feels amazing. I lift my hips so he hits my g-spot.

  “Fine. It’s fine. It’s way up there in my uterus. Out of reach.”

  “Okay. I don’t want to hurt—”

  “Shut up and fuck me, Noah.”

  And damn, he does.

  I come two more times before he finishes, pushing in and holding himself there. I run my nails down his back, feeling his cock pulse inside me. He lets out a breath and relaxes against me, then pulls out and rolls over, holding me against his chest. I trace his tattoos with my fingertips, still catching my breath.

  “Do you regret that?” he asks quietly.

  “Not at all.” It’s the truth. Physically, the sex was amazing. But it was so much more and I feel closer to Noah now, more like a real couple. Because real couples sleep together instead of abstaining solely to see if things can work. “Do you?”

  “No. I don’t regret doing it the first time either. Not that I wanted to knock you up, of course, but we wouldn’t have this, whatever it is, between us. And I like this.”

  Those just might be the words that push me over. “I like this too.”

  Chapter 12

  NOAH

  I SIT ON the bed, petting Vader and watching Lauren get dressed. She pulls on a blue dress. It’s simple, yet still looks amazing on her. Her hair is in a braid over her shoulder, and she spent no more than five minutes doing her makeup.

  I’ve never been with a woman like her. Hell, I haven’t been with a woman in any sense other than horizontal (and vertical, or upside down…) in years. I dated Heather James for three months, and broke up with her the day after she told me she loved me. I didn’t love her. I wanted to. I tried. But my heart belonged to another. It’s belonged to another for years.

  And the owner is standing in my bathroom, barefoot on the tile, brushing her teeth. After last night, things feel different. Different in a good way, that is. I didn’t fuck Lauren, I made love to her. And trust me, there is a difference.

  I don’t let myself think too deep that often, but sometimes I wonder if I went for women the total opposite of Lauren to convince myself that’s what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had plenty of fun drinking and fucking, but there’s always been a yearning in my heart for her, and it’s dark and cold and even I cannot fool myself into thinking it had been filled. I didn’t notice it most days, I’ve grown so accustomed to it.

  But sitting here, looking at Lauren, the hole is closed up.

  She turns the water off and turns around. I look down at my phone, pretending I wasn’t watching her.

  “Look,” she says, putting her hands on her stomach. “I definitely look pregnant now. Kind of. Maybe?”

  I smile and put my hands over hers. “Knowing that this wasn’t there before, I say you do.”

  “So you’re saying other people are just going to think I have a gut?”

  “Pretty much.” I shake my head and laugh. “Either way, I still find you to be fucking hot.” I kiss her. “Want to take the dogs for a walk before we get lunch?” I ask, knowing Lauren worries the dogs get bored being in my apartment all day.

  “That’d be really nice. It’s beautiful outside for this time of year.”

  She grabs the leashes and I grab my camera. Lauren raises an eyebrow when she sees it in my hand.

  “I have no pictures of you,” I tell her. We have no pictures of us together, actually.

  “I’m not photogenic,” she says and clips Vader’s leash onto his collar. “You can edit the pictures, right? Make me look good?”

  I hang the camera over my shoulder and turn to Lauren, brushing hair out of her face. “You are beautiful, Lauren, in person and on film. It would be a shame to make any edits or changes.”

  “Whoa,” she whispers, breath leaving her. “That’s a good line.”

  I chuckle. “I wasn’t trying to give you a line.”

  She tips her head. “Well, you did, and it worked.”

  “Worked enough for sex?” I ask hopefully.

  “More than enough. But,” she adds when she sees me raise my eyebrows and smile. “The dogs … they’re waiting.”

  “Fine, let’s go.”

  “Good answer,” she says, taking my hand, and we head out the door. There’s a nature preserve across from the apartment complex, with several miles of trails. I keep a hold of Lauren’s hand, and we walk in silence down the boardwalk that surrounds the lake. It stretches for a quarter mile then breaks away to a dirt path that winds through the trees.

  “This is pretty,” Lauren says. “I’ve never been here.”

  “It is. Peaceful too.”

  “You go for walks?”

  “I run on the trails.”

  “Oh, right,” she says dryly. “You and Colin are all into working out and all that lame shit.”

  I chuckle. “You really hate working out that much?”

>   She shrugs. “No. I mean, I like to stay in shape in case I happen to walk through a magical wardrobe that takes me to another land and go on adventures, but since the chance of that happening are pretty slim, I like my spare time spent on the couch. Preferably eating.”

  “At least you’re honest. And a wardrobe?”

  She turns, eyes wide. “You’ve never heard of Narnia?”

  “That sounds familiar, but I don’t know what it is.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s a good thing I get to pick the next movie.”

  “Oh God,” I say, amping up my horror. “Another Disney movie?”

  “What’s wrong with Disney?”

  “It’s lame.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Is too,” I tease. “But really, why do you still like that stuff?”

  She shrugs. “I like seeing good triumph over evil and seeing love always win. Real life doesn’t always give our happily ever afters.”

  I just nod, hoping I can give Lauren the happy ending she deserves. We’re two months into this dating thing, and I think I’m doing all right so far.

  “So,” I start. “Have you thought of names?”

  “I have. Ethan, Peter, Jackson, and Aiden are my top boys names.”

  “Nope to Peter. He’d face a lifetime of dick jokes. Ethan, eh, not really a fan. Same with Aiden. Jackson is a yes, but that’s because I like Sons of Anarchy.”

  “Jackson it is then.”

  “What about girl names?”

  “I think it’s a boy,” she says.

  I shake my head. “Nope. It’s a girl.”

  “I hope it’s a girl,” she says and takes my hand again. “Is that horrible to admit?”

  I slow and tip my head down to look into her eyes. “No, because I want a girl too.”

  “You do?”

  “I want her to be like you.”

  Lauren’s green eyes get a bit misty. Then she blinks and looks away. “Well, I’m not perfect. And hopefully this kid doesn’t inherit my asthma. Or shellfish allergies. Or fear of heights and public speaking.”

  “You can’t pass that stuff down, right?”

  “Nah. Well, the allergies and asthma yeah, of course. But not the fears.”

  “If it’s a girl, I hope she looks like you. But has my height, because you’re kind of short.” We both laugh and I lean over to kiss her. “But if it’s a girl?”

  “Ella. I’ve had my heart set on that forever.”

  “Ella Wilson … I can work with that.”

  “You want our kid to have your last name?”

  Her question is like a sucker punch. A reminder that we’re not actually together. A reminder that she doesn’t love me. Not yet, at least.

  “Noah!” someone calls.

  I look up and see Melody slowing from a jog to a walk. She’s wearing a bright-pink sports bra, with a pushup underneath. Not that she needs it with those big, fake tits. Her spandex shorts just barely cover her ass, and she’s got a full face of makeup on. I turn to Lauren, eyes going to her belly. If I do end up with a daughter, I don’t want her to alter her body for the sake of sex appeal.

  “I haven’t seen you in a while,” Melody says, completely ignoring Lauren.

  “I’ve been busy.” I tighten my grip on Lauren’s hand.

  Melody blinks, looking at Lauren like she just appeared. “Oh, uh, hi. Who are you?”

  “I’m Lauren. Nice to meet you.”

  “This is Melody,” I say to Lauren. “She lives across from me.”

  Melody gives a tight smile. “How do you two know each other?”

  The world “girlfriend” burns on the tip of my tongue. I want so bad to say it, but don’t, afraid Lauren doesn’t want to be it.

  “We met in high school,” Lauren says. “He’s my brother’s best friend.”

  I smirk. When she says it like that, it has a forbidden sexiness to it that turns me on. I slip my arm around Lauren.

  “You got dogs?” Melody asks, eyeing Vader nervously. To be fair, the large dog stands protectively in front of Lauren, giving Melody a judgmental stare. “I saw you come in with them last night.”

  “They’re not mine,” I tell her. “We didn’t want to leave them at Lauren’s and have to go back in the morning.” I reach down and pat Sasha’s head. I’ve always liked dogs, and now I’m starting to really like these guys, almost as if they were mine.

  “Oh, so you two are…”

  “Dating?” I supply. “Yeah, we are.”

  “I thought you didn’t date,” Melody blurts.

  I shrug. “I didn’t, but I do now.” I turn just in time to see Lauren smile.

  Melody’s face falls. “Oh, uh, that’s nice.” She inhales and regains her composure. “Well, good luck with him,” she tells Lauren. “Enjoy it while it lasts. I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

  “I’m well aware,” Lauren retorts, not missing a beat. “Nice to meet you.” Melody leaves in a huff, jogging away. Lauren faces me. “A bit of a heartbreaker, are you?”

  “I can’t help it.”

  “Really. So what’s the story with her?”

  Tell Lauren about my booty calls? Nope, that’s not uncomfortable at all. “We hooked up.”

  “No shit.”

  I look down at Lauren, the shock apparent on my face.

  “Noah, come on. I’ve known you for years. I know how you are—were—with the ladies.”

  “Oh, right. Melody and I had a no-strings arrangement and she got attached. That’s all.”

  “You really think the whole no-strings thing ever works?”

  “If done right.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Maybe. I’ve never tried.”

  I squeeze her hand. “I never would have guessed,” I tease. We step off the boardwalk and start hiking through the woods. Vader stops and sniffs at everything, and Sasha pulls on her leash. I don’t know which is more annoying.

  “I’m going over to Colin’s tonight for video games,” I tell her.

  “Is he still acting weird?”

  “He glares a lot, but hasn’t said anything. Other than that, things are normal. He’s had a while to accept it by now.”

  I’ve lived a carefree life, not putting expectations on anyone or anything, but the few close friendships I’ve hung onto over the years mean something to me.

  “I think he’s more excited than he lets on. You two have had that bromance going on for over a decade, having you be part of the family has to make him happy.” Lauren stops and makes Sasha sit, not walking again until the dog calms down. “He feels like he needs to play the protective older brother card, but we both know he’s really a big ol’ softy. But…”

  “What?”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  I look behind me, locking eyes with her. “Of course.”

  “You might not want to know, because then you have to keep it from Colin, because he doesn’t know I know, and if he knows I know and now you know, it could be bad.”

  “Huh?”

  She presses her lips together and sighs. “Jenny told me they’ve been trying for a baby and not having luck.”

  “Oh, I knew that.”

  “Really? I thought I had top-secret information.”

  “Sorry to burst your bubble. I’ve known for a while. But why is that a big deal?”

  “Because I’m pregnant and Jenny isn’t and I think that hurts her.”

  “I guess I can see that, but it’s not like we did this on purpose to spite her. It just happened.”

  Lauren nods, and I know she’s not convinced. Actually, I can tell she feels guilty. She’s too fucking nice.

  Too nice. Too pretty. Too good for me.

  Chapter 13

  LAUREN

  “I DON’T UNDERSTAND how something so little requires so much stuff.” Noah looks down the aisle of baby toys and blinks. A week has passed since we slept together, and things have been pretty perfect. Though technically it wasn’t our first time t
ogether, it felt like it.

  And it was everything I wanted it to be.

  Passionate, hot, and oh so satisfying. It was everything I imagined too, and I’d wondered from time to time how Noah was in bed. He definitely did not disappoint. Noah came over every day during the week, and we had sex every time. Sometimes more than once.

  It’s been a little over two months and I’m falling hard for him. Right now, he’ll catch me, yet I still can’t shake the fear that once the baby comes, he’ll drop me. Hard.

  I need to be fair. Noah has done nothing to make me think he’ll be a bad father or will suddenly abandon me. He has been perfect, as in everything I want perfect. Too perfect? I believe in true love and fairy tale endings. Is it possible my Prince Charming has been right there in front of me the whole time?

  “Where the hell do you put everything?” Noah asks.

  “I was thinking the same thing. Maybe you switch it out?”

  “Maybe.” He picks up a box and looks at a rattle with lights and sounds. “Whatever our kid needs, we’ll get it. I don’t want her to go without.”

  “If we have a boy, will you be disappointed?”

  “Not at all. Honestly, I hope whatever we have is normal.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Normal?”

  “Yeah, a lot can go wrong. It kind of freaks me out when I think about it.”

  “So if we have an abnormal kid you won’t love it?”

  “That’s not what I meant.” He puts the box back. “And you’ve said it before: you hope for a healthy baby.”

  “Well, duh.”

  He playfully nudges me. “You’re moody today.”

  He’s right. “Sorry. I’m tired. I shouldn’t have worked last night.” I didn’t end up clocking out until after eight on a Friday night.

  “You shouldn’t work so much.”

  “If I pick up more shifts now, I can take off more time later.”

  “I told you,” he says softly. “Don’t worry about money. I can help you.”

  I smile and nod, moving down the aisle and looking at play mats. I had a conversation with my parents about that just this morning. Noah paid for the first ultrasound I had when my insurance denied it and I didn’t have the funds to cover the hefty bill. He gave me the money in cash, actually. It helped immensely and took the anxiety over not being able to afford it. And my parents agreed that letting Noah help cover the costs is more than fair since it’s his kid too, but I shouldn’t rely on it.