Take a Breath (Take 1)

by Jaimie Roberts

  “One of your neighbours wanted to call him over the house. Something about a lock on the back door being tampered with. I told him to go check it out and I’ll look after things here.”

  I shut the door behind him. “I hope everything’s ok?” I ask.

  “I’m sure it will be fine, it may have been one of their kids or someone messing around, but better to be safe than sorry.”

  I nod in agreement, “How are you feeling Tony?” He looked tired.

  “A little better thanks, I just wanted to say sorry for the way I behaved, and I really wanted to say it in person, so that’s why I’m here.”

  I was a little surprised, “Apologise for what Tony?”

  “You know the way I was with you a couple of days ago, how I reacted when you came out of Mr Bennett’s office?”

  I nodded and proceeded into the kitchen. I got a bottle of my favourite Pinot Grigio out and poured Tony and myself a glass. “It’s ok Tony, there’s no need to apologise. There’s nothing to worry about. You shouldn’t have dragged yourself out of bed when you feel sick, just to tell me you’re sorry. I do appreciate it, but you could have just called or text me.”

  He takes my hand, “I just wanted to explain to you how I feel. You’re the one, always have been.”

  I smile a little uncomfortable as I make my way over to the sink. I start washing some dishes just to try and escape the awkwardness when Tony speaks. “You have always been my English Rose Ana.”

  My eyes nearly bulge out my head and the plate I’m carrying nearly slips from my fingers. I go still, I can’t move. The water’s still gushing and I’m standing there frozen. Did I just hear correct? Please god no. Please, not Tony. I feel his fingers on my face and I jump out of my skin. Tony nears me and switches the water off and inhales the scent of my hair.

  “Don’t worry Ana; I’m not going to hurt you. I couldn’t hurt a rose like you. Ever.”

  I start to tremble and he tries to soothe me but I’m terrified. “Why Tony, why did you do it?” He stops stroking my face and sighs.

  “Why do you always have to try and spoil the moment between us Ana? You know those other girls they were just sluts flaunting themselves around like dogs on heat. They would want to take me back to their house and do all sorts of disgusting things to them. I’d never met them before in my life, but because I’ve got a badge and a gun, they think I’m game. They disgusted me Ana. But you, you have always looked so innocent, so beautiful and so delicate. I’ve been waiting for the day I can take you away from all of this so we can finally be together. Don’t you see Ana, we were meant to be?”

  I start sobbing. All those poor women, what they must have been through, and all this time trying to find who it was. In the end he was right under our noses the whole time laughing at us, goading us. I felt sick.

  “That night at the barbeque was when I really thought I had to action my plan. You looked so lost Ana. I wanted to whisk you up in my arms and take you away from it all. I have a place we can go, an old farm. We could stay there and grow old together and make lots of babies.”

  The bile rose in my throat and I fought hard to keep it down.

  “But then that night after I left. I saw you two through the window. What he was doing to you on that table, it was disgusting Ana. I never thought you could do that to me. You were always so loyal and sweet. I got angry Ana, really angry. That girl, she was just like the others, just like you. I fucking hated her, hated you for what you did. After a couple of days of calming down I realised maybe I didn’t see correct, maybe Ana still is my rose. I bet he forced her like her other stepfather did.”

  I cringed, how does he know about that? Even Jake doesn’t know about that. Tears were running down my face. I didn’t know what to do, should I scream, should I try to run? Tony had a gun and Matthew was upstairs, I had to try to keep him talking and maybe someone will come for me eventually. “Shh, Ana please don’t cry, you know you’re safe with me don’t you? I won’t hurt you. There’s no need to be afraid anymore. You have me and I won’t let anyone touch you.”

  He throws his arms around me and rocks me back and forth. I’m still trying to keep the bile rising in my throat down and the trembling in my whole body from giving me away. What do I say to a psychopath like Tony? You think you know someone and in fact you don’t know them at all, what kind of secrets they're hiding.

  “This is what we’ll do Ana; I have my car out front. I can take you away now. I have everything in place. We can escape.”

  I look up at him in shock, “But what about the squad car outside?”

  He waves a hand dismissively, “You mean that asshole Joe? I took care of him Ana, he won’t be any trouble.”

  Oh god, what does he mean he took care of him? Please no more death, please say Joe is ok. “I will have to go pack a few things Tony, I can’t just leave.”

  Tony grabs my hand, “Look, we have no time for packing as they will be after us Ana. We need to go now. I will buy you all the clothes and things you need when we get there ok?”

  The fear inside me is increasing. How can I stall him any longer, where is he taking me and once I leave, will that be me disappeared forever? Just then my mobile starts to ring and the urge to go and answer it is all too great. I go towards it but Tony stops me.

  “We have to leave now Ana. You don’t need anyone else but me anymore, let it ring.”

  I wipe my eyes and take a few deep breathes. Tony is watching my every move growing more and more impatient to leave, I have no other choice. No matter what I don’t want Matthew hurt in anyway. I must leave with him and quietly so that no one else can or will get hurt. I have to face my possible death head on. I nod my head, try to squeeze Tony’s hand for reassurance and I smile at him weakly.

  He beams back at me, “I knew you would come round Ana. You need to get away from all the monsters out there. I’ll keep you safe with me.”

  I almost choke, monsters? The only monster around me is the one staring at me right now, in Jake’s kitchen.

  We make our way outside to the car and sure enough the squad car is there, but no Joe to be seen anywhere. What has he done? He opens the door to the explorer for me and I climb up. At this moment I’m trying everything in my willpower not to completely lose it. I squeeze my hands together to try and keep control of my emotions. Tony gets in and starts the engine.

  “You know I’ve been dreaming about this for a very long time Ana. You don’t know how happy you are making me feel right now, knowing you are by my side. I will look after you, I promise. I will make you mine; In fact I think we need to start a family real soon, just so we can really cement our relationship.” Oh my god he’s delusional. How can he think I want him like this? How can he think that after all he’s done that I will go with him willingly? He pulls away quickly and soon we are heading in an unknown direction to an old farm. Could it get any worse?

  “Ana, you’re very quiet; say something as I don’t know how you’re feeling? You do want this don’t you because I don’t know what I’d do if you say no to me?”

  Oh god, please, “Tony, you are right to take me away. I have been hurt in the past and I need someone just like you to protect me. I’m sure you can do the job well for me.” I try to smile at him but I feel too miserable and angry at him for doing this. He reaches over and squeezes my hand again and beams at me. “I knew you would see sense Ana. Everyone tries to take you away from me, but I have you now. I’ll take special care of you. I promise you this.”

  Once we’re on the I-495 heading south I start to contemplate how I am going to escape this. I have no one to help me and no one knows where to find me. Do I try to jump out of the car when we stop at a set of lights? Do I try to see if I can flag someone down somehow without being noticed by Tony? My head is awash with decisions and possible outcomes of my decisions. Whatever choice I make could mean life or death. I decide it’s best to go with the flow and see if an opportunity arises that can get me out of this mess I’m now i
n. Maybe once we’re there I can gain his trust enough to escape and run to the nearest house or person I can find. We get on to the I-95 south towards Powhite Parkway. Lord only knows now where I’m going.

  The journey seems to go on forever and ever and the more we move away the more the panic sets in.

  “My flower what is the matter? Are you afraid of me?”

  I jump at the sudden sound of his voice and try to calm things. “I’m just nervous Tony. I don’t know what to expect. I’ve never had someone want to take care of me the way that you do. Do you love me Tony?” He looks over briefly and then grabs my hand.

  “Ana, I have loved you since the very first day I met you. I have tried to be patient and wait for you to come to me, but it obviously seemed necessary in the end for me to come to you. All your life you have had men abuse you and treat you with disrespect, and you deserve better than that Ana. This is the start of our life together and I know you probably don’t love me as much as I do you, but in time I think you could learn to love me and I will be a good husband to you and a great father to our children. I promise that to you Ana. All you have to do is promise me that you’ll try, and then the rest is up to me. Will you try for me Ana?”

  It is then I realise that I have to attempt to push my fear away somehow and try to make an Oscar winning performance for Tony. If this is what it takes to survive, then this is what I have to do. Survival instincts kick away the fear as I try to relax. “I will Tony. I promise.” I smile sweetly at him and his face lights up. For a moment he has the most angelic look about him. It is so hard to imagine what has seemed to be the most charming, gentle person is actually a real fucked up monster underneath.

  Chapter 26

  After what seems to be an age, we get off the I-95 south and veer towards the VA-76 south. If the situation wasn’t so frightening this place here seems to be beautiful. There are lots of greenery on the trees which are gently swaying in the breeze. It does seem like an ideal spot to live and bring up lots of children. “We’re almost there Ana. I think you’ll love it.”

  My intrigued piqued, “Is this place we’re going to yours Tony?” We pull into a driveway that continues for a while, until a house starts to emerge in the distance up the hill. The house looks picturesque in white. A moderate size, it looks like it may have about 4 bedrooms and is surrounded by acres upon acres of land.

  “This is ours now Ana. I inherited it from my father when he died just over a year ago. I have dreamed of bringing the one here to start a family with but I never seem to meet the right one, until I met you. All the women around just seem to be after one thing. It makes me sick how they are, but you and your innocence. Your soul just seems to breathe it from every pore. It makes people want to look after you, but sometimes the wrong people like to take advantage of that and I can’t let my delicate flower be crushed by men like that.”

  He looks like he is getting angry now and I have to try and calm the situation, especially now that he has stopped driving and put the car in park. I gently put my hand on his knee. “Tony, it’s ok, we’re here now. I would really like for you to show me around the house. Please?” I smile my best winning smile and he visibly relaxes at my touch.

  “Let’s go then Ana. I have been waiting a long time for this.”

  I get out of the car and he comes running over by my side. I don’t know if it’s because he wants to be close to me or he’s afraid I’m going to run off. How can I run off when he has a gun and I have nothing? We climb the three stairs towards the porch that has a table and chairs towards the left, and to the right another two rocking chairs. The scene looks like something out of the Walton’s. Tony gets the key out from his pocket and unlocks the door.

  We walk in and the house smells unlived in but not off putting. The stairs are in front and there is a door to the right that leads to the living room, and the kitchen is down the hall at the end of the house. It looks cosy but modern with a three seater and two seater white leather sofas in the middle of the room, and a dining table and chairs separated at the window. A display cabinet reveals some pictures, the biggest one there in the middle was of me and Tony at the Christmas party last year. We are smiling like a happy couple in it, with his arm wrapped around me. I pick it up.

  “This is my favourite photo Ana. You look beautiful but then you always do.

  I place it down and smile. “It does look lovely Tony.” I remember that night all too well.

  The drinks were flowing and Jessie and I were dancing away, when Tom decides to cut in and dance with me. It made me so uncomfortable knowing full well he wanted to gyrate himself on my booty that Jake noticed and decided to rescue me. At the time I welcomed it and we began to dance, but just as we were starting the music changed and on came Rihanna’s 'Russian Roulette,' one of the most sensual, seductive songs I’ve ever heard of, despite its meaning behind it. To say the dancing between us was uncomfortable was an understatement. I was conscious the whole time about how he felt, his body so close to me, and just like the song I wondered if Jake could see my heart beating through my chest. It was kind of ironic really. We felt we had to lock arms and slow dance. The proximity of his body pressed against mine was way too much of a distraction. I remember looking up into his eyes and feeling the monstrous shoulders that my small hands were hard to wrap around. I didn’t realise I had done it, but I squeezed one ever so lightly and Jake had inadvertently pressed his hand into the crevice of my back. This then lead to a gasp escaping my lips, which I couldn’t control. The song and the alcohol were all too much to bear and with that Jake let go of me and made an excuse to leave. I was so horny that night I even seriously considered sleeping with someone just to release the tension between my legs, it was just all too much. The one and only big problem was that I only wanted Jake. The rest of the night they say is history, but we certainly kept apart from each other the remainder of the evening.

  I glanced at a photo of a man and a woman who looked close to their 60’s, both white hair and happy smiling faces.

  “That’s my mom and dad. They’re not here anymore, but this was theirs and they left it to me so I can raise some grandchildren for them. I intend to fulfil their wishes Ana.”

  He comes closer to me and embraces me. My heart starts its full scale war in my chest. Please don’t tell me he wants to start making babies right now? He’ll want to touch me at some point and I’m afraid I may vomit just from the thought. He inhales the scent of my hair. Oh god, please no.

  “Ana, you smell so beautiful.”

  He strokes my hair and traces a finger down my shoulder towards my back. I start to tremble.

  “Don’t worry Ana, I’m patient. I have waited this long, I can wait a little longer for when you’re ready.”

  I look into his eyes and thank him. I don’t know why I do but it seemed necessary. How do you tame a complete psychotic maniac?

  “It is hard though Ana. I am a man after all and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. Try not to think too long about it, my English rose.”

  He smells my hair again and I shudder. Oh fuck, now what do I do? “Show me the rest of the house, please Tony.” He happy obliges, but I mainly want to see it all so I can study my bearings, find where if anywhere all the rooms lead to etc. I just want out.

  He shows me 4 bedrooms all round about the same size, two with double beds and two with single beds. The master bedroom has an en-suite full bathroom. “This is where we will be sleeping.”

  I cringe at the thought of Tony lying next to me, breathing all over me expecting sex. I really need to get out. One of the rooms looks like a child’s room painted in yellow, it looks rather beautiful with the last remaining hours of the sun shining through. It has two white metal framed single beds and a big teddy bear propped up on yet another rocking chair.

  “This could be the nursing room. I could just picture you here breastfeeding our children.”

  This is just too much. I don’t think I can take much more. “Tony, it
was a long drive. I really need to use the bathroom.” He smiles and leads the way, “Shall I make us something to eat whilst you freshen up?”

  If it gets you away from me, then yes. “Please Tony. I’m starving.” He laughs a little and starts his way down the stairs. Is he really leaving me alone up here? Should I take a run for the stairs once he’s in the kitchen? No, I can’t do that as I noticed the steps creaked as we came up. He’ll know before I get to the bottom that I’m not up here anymore. I have to see if I can climb out the window. It seems to be the only way.

  I get to the main bathroom and lock the door. I turn the faucet on to make some noise, whilst I try to hitch up the small window. It is a little stiff, but it manages to give a little, just enough for me to crawl through. I notice there is a climbing plant to my left and I try to reach for it, so I make my way down. I push my foot up to the window sill and I lift with one hand, whilst grabbing the plant with the other. I lose my footing a bit and swing out. I bash into the plant which I didn’t realise had thorns sticking out, and could feel them piercing my skin. I resist the urge to scream as it cuts into me all over. I take a few deep breaths, clinging for dear life and carefully make my way down. The pain is awful as each thorn cuts through a leg or an arm. I grit through the pain, knowing that I have to do this in order to survive. I manage to get down and finally look at myself. My dress is torn and I have blood everywhere from the thorny bush, but I’m alive. I look around trying to take in my surroundings. There is a lot of open space but about 100 yards away from the house there is a forest full of trees. Would I be able to make it there without being seen? I don’t know but I have come this far, so I have to keep going.