Like You Read About

by Mela Remington

  Anyhow, I was away at a conference in Norwalk, got the email with matches, and decided what the hell, I should see what's out there and yours was on the list... I was actually kind of tickled with glee, because, and I am putting it all out there now, I've been crushing on you for ages. I've always thought you were a nice guy, very adorable, cute and funny, but I didn't know your story, what your situation was or anything and I am never one to make the first move. I have this overwhelming fear of rejection and such...and I never felt comfortable enough to just walk up to a guy and say, "Hey wanna have a cup of coffee," or whatever.

  I also never tend to think guys will be even remotely attracted to me, not that I am assuming you are, or aren't...well actually I suppose you are, unless you were fibbing on the note with the truffles. Yes, I found that last night, so sweet, and thoughtful.

  I was interested in what you had to say in your ad. There are some differences, but I thought that if I didn't take a chance now I'd probably never take a chance and life is too short to be a chicken shit. And then there was that zing, after the meeting, just too much to ignore…

  So there it is, in a nutshell… digest, contemplate, file a restraining order...whatever :-)

  Cora

  “Well shit,” he muttered, taking another drink of his still too hot coffee. Lancelot walked in, hopped up on the desk, and rubbed his face up against the computer monitor. “Well Lance, what do you think of that? How exactly do I respond to that? She’s knocked me flat on my ass.” Lance tilted his head and looked at him as if to say, Still looks like you’re in your chair to me, stupid.

  He hit reply and tapped his feet on the cold wood floors antsy as to how to handle this the right way. He liked her, he wanted her, and clearly, she wanted him and had wanted him for some time. He hadn’t known he’d wanted her or anyone for that matter in terms of forever, but now that he did know, he was going to do his level best not to fuck it up.

  To: shesbythenumbers@netmail.com

  From: DantheITman@netmail.com

  Date: January 26, 2008 10:30 a.m.

  Subject: Are those filed in triplicate, or can you file that online?

  Cora,

  Digested and contemplated…option three not necessary. 

  First off, well done. No matter what happens from here, I know how hard it is to lay it all out there…

  Wow, I’m being emailed to hundreds of women, and you’re the one who responded. It doesn’t get much better than this!

  Yeah, I think I’ve noticed you at the monthly meetings looking over at me… but I wasn’t quite sure if I was imagining it, (and was pleased by it – with similar thoughts as you), but didn’t know your situation either. When we talked at the end of this month’s meeting, I noticed your smile. I’d never have made a move for similar reasons – I don’t trust my instincts that way, and the last three words I want to hear are “sexual harassment lawsuit” if I ask out someone from work.

  I’m somewhat unusually at a loss for words here – so I guess I’ll just continue by saying I’ve had fun so far, and expect to continue to do so. I’m enjoying the email and the conversation, and think you’re really neat. So I’m going with the flow as is my habit, and let’s see if this turns into something special. Obviously, nothing is guaranteed, but it’s a chance that it seems that both of us are willing to take.

  So, let’s plan another date. I’ll cook dinner and you bring a movie rental (yeah, I’m so creative)? Your choice of movie…and you’ll get to sit on a really comfortable sofa. Are you free tomorrow night?

  Dan

  Okay, if he was having company tomorrow night he needed to get his shit together. He threw on his painting clothes and headed down to finish up the dining room. After three hours, he was happy with the results and put the fans in the windows to draw out the fumes. After showering and changing, he made a list of all the things he needed to grab tonight if he was going to have an actual dinner guest tomorrow. Of course he should probably check his email to see if she was actually even interested in coming over.

  To: DantheITman@netmail.com

  From: shesbythenumbers@netmail.com

  Date: January 26, 2008 12:00 p.m.

  Subject: Phew

  Dan,

  I was afraid I was going to have to look for a new job so as not to violate the terms of the restraining order, thanks for not thinking I’m a wacky stalker.

  I agree, it’s been fun so far, and I like where we’ve been heading, so let’s go with the flow and see where this flume ride takes us.

  I’d love to come for dinner. I’m interested in seeing how your descriptions of the house match up with the actual house. What time? How about I bring dessert?

  Until tomorrow…

  Cora

  He made a whooping noise, which seemed to annoy a sleeping Lance and did a fist pump. She was coming here, to his house. He would make her dinner and they would sit close on the sofa and watch a movie, and maybe make out. Yes, he definitely voted for making out.

  Leaving a voicemail for his cousin, Matt, looking for a little help actually setting up and using the sound system he’d installed for him, he thought about dancing with her again.

  Picking up his list and car keys and grabbing his coat, he headed out to Bed Bath & Beyond, the grocery store and a quick run through his parents’ house to pick up the three boxes of dishes from his grandparents’ house that had been sitting in the basement for the last five years. It was old school original Corelle but it went with the feel of the house, it all matched and it saved him the stress of actually having to pick something out himself. Turns out there were six boxes of Corelle. What the fuck did Nona have in there? What more did you need besides plates and bowls?

  His mom was full of questions about his sudden interest in the boxes which he had been putting off picking up for two months now, but he just brushed it off saying that since the kitchen was done it was time to fill it up.

  After carrying everything in the house and putting the groceries away, he grabbed a beer, sat at the small table in the kitchen and tried to decide where to begin. It was already eight and he realized in his excitement to plan he hadn’t emailed her back. She was probably halfway to an ulcer by now; he knew better than to leave her dangling like this. He fished his cell out of his pocket and dialed her number.

  He also needed to do this quick, his cousin was on his way over to hook him up with the music, ‘cause he had no clue.

  After two rings, she answered.

  “Hello?” she sounded out of breath.

  “Cora? Are you okay?” Dan asked. Why was she out of breath? Was she alone? Was she crying? Was she naked in bed thinking of him? Get your mind out of the gutter, he scolded himself.

  “Oh I’m fine,” she paused and it sounded like she took a swig from a water bottle. “I was doing a workout video. I got antsy this afternoon and ate all my truffles and decided I should probably do something about that. Plus, I was all wired and wanted to tire myself out in hopes of getting a decent night’s sleep. How are you? How was your day?”

  “It was fine. Did some more painting, ran some errands, got home a little while ago and realized I hadn’t emailed you back which is pretty dick-ish of me, so I wanted to call and set the plans for tomorrow. Also I just kind of wanted to hear your voice.”

  “Oh Dan, I don’t expect you to be sitting on top of your computer or Blackberry waiting for me to email you.” Although the reason she had gone truffle crazy was because hours had passed since she’d told him everything and agreed to come to his house for dinner and his radio silence kind of freaked her out.

  “Still, it wasn’t cool to leave you hanging. Do you think you could make it at four? I would love if you brought dessert. I’m really looking forward to showing off the house, no one but family and Joe and his wife have been here.” He fiddled with the bottle cap in his hands.

  “That sounds fine. I can be there then and I’ll being something yummy for dessert. I’m still angst-ing over the movie, but I’ll
come up with something before I walk out the door, or I’ll put half a dozen in the front seat of the car and blindly grab one after I park the car. I do recall my solemn vow and swear on all that is holy there will be nary a French mime in the lot.” She was pacing around her living room trying not to trip over the cat.

  The silence grew, both feeling awkward, neither knowing why.

  “So I’ll see you tomorrow at four then. I’ll bring dessert and a movie and an appetite.” He could hear the smile in her voice as she broke through the weird for both of them.

  “I’ll be here waiting. I hope you like steak.” He was starting to feel giddy again and got up and walked around. “See you tomorrow, night Cora.”

  “Night Dan.” And with that, she closed her phone and went back to her workout.

  Dan started unpacking the boxes of dishes and loading them into the dishwasher, at this rate he’d probably have to run three loads to get through all these. Then he grabbed one of the big bags from Bed Bath & Beyond and dumped the contents out on the sofa, throw pillows and a nice big cozy blanket which he hoped they might snuggle under tomorrow night, maybe he’d turn the heat down to encourage that.

  He grabbed the other bags and headed upstairs. When he bought the house every aunt, cousin, and friend of his parents, and even the guys at work bought him gift cards to the Depot and the housewares store. At first, he wasn’t sure what he’d do with all that money at a housewares store, but today he was thankful for it. He bought new towels for all the bathrooms, an actual bedding set for his bed. After the mattress was delivered, he’d just bought a fitted king sheet and used his full sized comforter, not at all inviting to a potential guest. Then there was the fact that he only had one pillow, which put out a vibe he SO did not want to put out. He was not likely to drag her off to bed tomorrow but when he gave her the tour, he wanted his place to seem warm and welcoming.

  Remembering she was allergic to flowers, and also not wanting his house to smell like a box of potpourri, he strategically placed apple and cinnamon air fresheners around the house. The kid who helped him at BB&B today said it was a nice subtle smell that was homey; what did this kid know, he was probably still in high school, but as Dan piled his carriage and then another he could see all these things fitting in to his house. He wanted to do the minimum since maybe someday if he was lucky she might want to pick out the rest on her own. Hell, almost everything he bought was some shade of green or had green in it, she’d already invaded his home before she’d set foot in the door.

  After cleaning everything up, setting Matt up to work his magic at the computer with the music, putting out the towels and the hand soaps and running two more loads in the dishwasher and filling the cabinets, things were just about ready.

  “I can’t thank you enough for the tuneage, Matt. I’ve got no clue and she’s always listening to music. I’m going full out tomorrow night and I want everything to be perfect for her.” Opening the fridge, he grabbed himself a beer and offered one to Matt.

  “No thanks, bro. I need to hit the road; it’s getting late and I need to see what’s still available at the club for tonight’s entertainment.” Matt was a manwhore, no doubt about it, but that was the thing about DJs, they never lacked for pussy, just a perk of the job like dental, or Blue Cross, or a 401k.

  Locking up behind him, he plopped down on the couch with a cold beer and flipped through the channels on TV. As he flipped through the on screen guide, he saw one of the channels was playing that movie Cora had mentioned was her favorite. He was wide-awake even though it was already eleven so he sat back and hoped this might give him clues to what made her tick. It was just a movie so probably not but what else was he doing.

  Two hours later, he’d figured out three things:

  1. Women her age loved this movie because that Lloyd kid was the fantasy boyfriend.

  2. The back seat of a Chevy Malibu did not look like a comfortable place to get laid.

  3. Sometime between now and four tomorrow afternoon he needed to download that Peter Gabriel song, if it wasn’t already in what Matty left and some other stuff like that. Cora loves music, and he wanted to woo her, so he needed some music to woo by.

  Also, a trench coat was not a look he could pull off… and thankfully boom boxes no longer weighed thirty pounds.

  He was putting an awful lot of effort into an evening where he wasn’t even expecting to get laid, but he didn’t really give a shit. This was about the end game, for once he was sure that Joe was right.

  Chapter 18

  Sunday morning dawned early for both of them, each up earlier than usual and keyed up. Dan spent his morning making the bed, fluffing pillows, hanging curtains and starting the prep for dinner. He felt like Martha fucking Stewart; all he needed was a frilly apron.

  Cora spent her morning taking a really long walk around the lake—twice. It was cold as hell and the air smelled like snow, because what they needed was more snow. Then she headed to Kaelyn’s house to play with the boys and to have Kaelyn help select her outfit for the evening; she brought four choices. After feeding the boys an early lunch and putting the kids down to nap, Cora pulled out two pairs of jeans and four different sweaters, three of which were green.

  “Don’t branch out on the color wheel sweetie,” Kaelyn chuckled as she picked up each top and inspected it carefully.

  “I want to be comfortable, and look casual, but not too casual and also attractive, and aren’t I sexy and don’t you want to have hot sweaty monkey sex even though we won’t because it’s only our second date and I’m not that kind of girl. How do you say all of that with jeans and a sweater?”

  “Actually you say that with a pair of lace panties and matching bra, or at least that’s how I played it the first time I slept with Tommy. This one I think.” Holding up a soft cashmere Kelly green sweater with a scoop neck, she explains, “It’s really soft to the touch plus it will show off your rack nicely. What are you wearing underneath?”

  “I’m not going over there to sleep with him Kay, it’s only our second date. It doesn’t matter what is underneath the sweater.” Cora wasn’t even convincing herself when she said that.

  “You don’t have to have sex for him to see what’s under that sweater, and if you want to make sure you aren’t even tempted to have sex don’t shave your legs, you’re not going to want him to touch your hairy legs. I will however, bet you a week’s worth of cocoa that he gets you out of that sweater before the night is over. Now what’s going under it,” she said with a pointed gaze that wasn’t going to take any answer but the truth.

  Cora sighed and pulled a smaller bag out of the bottom of the bag the clothes had been in, “This, I bought it when I was out buying the outfit for Friday’s date, the one I wore that night was purple.” She held up a stunning green silk and lace bra that was designed to be pretty even though it had some pretty heavy duty lifting to accomplish and then the matching lace boy-shorts.

  “Hubba hubba, Cor.” Kaelyn let out a low whistle, “You have to let him see that, he’ll be at your mercy forever if he sees you in that.”

  “Yeah, me and all my stretch marks and floppy skin and the scar, don’t forget the lovely scar, which I am not at a point where I even want to contemplate explaining. I mean, I know I will if we get serious because it could be a big issue, but I just don’t want it to ruin anything yet. This whole thing we have feels like it’s made of cotton candy coated awesome and I’m not ready to be all truth-y and grown up and spoil things yet. It’s my turn to enjoy myself and not be responsible for anyone but me.” Her voice continued to raise and shake as she went on, close to tears by the end.

  Kaelyn walked over, sat next to her on the couch, put her arm around her shoulder, and squeezed her tight. “You don’t have to tell him anything until you’re ready, and he won’t be examining your body for marks and scars and imperfections. I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at you over the last two weeks, he thinks you’re beautiful, it’s written all over his face.”

>   Wiping her eyes and making a very unladylike sniffle Cora stutters out, “Y-you really think so?”

  “I know so, I’m married, and I have two point two five kids. I know that look, I see it on Tommy all the time. It’s a wonder I can hold a steady job with all the chasing me around the house he does. Now go home and get ready it’s two and you don’t want to be late.”

  On the drive back to her apartment, she decided she was going to shave her legs and throw caution to the wind. Then she changed her mind, and then back again, her constant inner monologue is so distracting she almost missed the tum for her own street. Grabbing the bag, she ran upstairs, giving Gwennie a little love, a lot of food and water and heads into the shower.

  Leg shaving it is, and let the panties fall where they may. Forty-five minutes later, she was dressed in a pair of jeans that she thought actually made her ass look decent, the sweater Kaelyn picked, her Grandma’s ring, a pair of love knot earrings, and a simple Celtic knot pendant. She might as well be marching in the St. Patty’s Day parade. She changes out the knot for a Celtic cross, less theme-y since lots of people wear crosses as religious pieces and not jewelry, although for her it’s a little of both. A sweep of mascara and a swipe of her strawberry lip gloss and she’s ready to go.

  She checked her bag with dessert fixings three times to make sure she has everything. An Angel food cake, some fresh berries, which are not easy to come by in January in Boston, and a container of heavy whipping cream and a hand mixer fill the bag. Dan is a bachelor, he likely doesn’t have one and she wants to have the fresh whipped cream, it just tastes so much better.