FOREVER SERIES: COMPLETE BOX SET

by Lynn, Sandi

  Ellery sighed and let him in. He had a surprised look on his face when he saw me. I smiled, waved, and said hello. He wanted to talk to Ellery in private, but she had refused. I said it was okay and that I’d be in the bedroom if she needed me. She nodded her head, and Kyle thanked me.

  After about ten minutes, I heard Ellery yelling at Kyle. I decided to wait it out a little bit to see if she would calm down before I went out there. When she didn’t and continued to get louder, I stepped out of the bedroom and overheard Kyle asking her if she had told me something. I walked over to where they stood.

  “Tell me what?” I asked as I looked at Ellery.

  She was pleading with Kyle to be quiet for both their sakes. I didn’t know what the hell was going on. All I knew was that Kyle was trying to tell me something, and Ellery was scared shitless. I could tell by the look on her face. Kyle didn’t listen to Ellery and looked directly at me with cold eyes. I looked over at Ellery as tears started streaming down her face.

  “She has cancer, but she refuses to go and get treatments. She’s just going to let herself die. That’s why I left her. I couldn’t sit there and watch her die,” he said.

  I froze. I didn’t believe it. Kyle looked at Ellery, said he was sorry, and walked out the door. My heart started racing and it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I looked at Ellery as her tears flowed freely from her eyes. I was too scared to hear the answer to my next question.

  “Ellery, is that true?!” I yelled.

  She flinched at my raised voice and nodded her head.

  “Yes, it’s true,” she cried.

  I clenched my fists and tightened my jaw.

  “You’ve known your cancer was back even before I met you, but you still hid it from me after everything we’ve been through? What kind of person are you?!” I screamed at her. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was confused and in disbelief. My skin grew hot, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

  “Please, Connor, let me explain,” she pleaded.

  I was so angry that I couldn’t see straight.

  “Explain what? What’s left to explain? Were you just going to tell me one day that you were dying? And why the fuck aren’t you getting any treatment?”

  This didn’t make any sense to me. Why would she just refuse treatment and let herself die? Who does that sort of thing?

  “Please, calm down, Connor,” she pleaded.

  “Calm down? You expect me to be calm when I just found out that the woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with is dying? I don’t want to hear anything from you. You make me sick, Ellery. I can’t do this. I can’t even look at you.”

  I was blinded by rage, and my emotions were out of control. I turned towards the bedroom. Ellery followed after me and grabbed my arm.

  “Please, Connor, don’t do this. Let me explain.”

  I jerked my arm away, and she fell back onto the floor. I turned and looked at her, my voice now calm, but pained.

  “Your dizzy spells and your tiredness, it’s all part of the cancer. You’re getting worse, and you knew it, but you still didn’t tell me. I bared my soul to you. I told you things nobody in this world knows. I shared myself with you. How could you do that to me, Ellery?” I asked as my eyes filled with tears. I walked to the bedroom and slammed the door.

  I paced back and forth across the floor. My breathing was still rapid, and my heart felt like it had been broken into a million tiny pieces. There was no way I could drive with her back to New York, so I pulled out my phone and booked her on the next flight back to New York. I grabbed my bag and opened the bedroom door. As I was walking towards the door, Ellery jumped up.

  “Connor, wait, please,” she begged.

  I turned around and pointed at her.

  “Stay away from me. I booked a flight for you back to New York. It leaves in two hours, so compose yourself and be ready. I’m driving back by myself. I can’t stand to look at you right now, let alone ride in a car with you for ten hours.”

  I walked out of the hotel room and left the love of my life alone, scared, and crying. What kind of person was I? I questioned myself as I climbed inside the Range Rover and gripped the steering wheel as tight as I could. I picked up my phone and dialed Denny.

  “Hello, Connor. How’s your trip going?” he asked.

  “Denny, Miss Lane will be arriving on a flight from Michigan in about four hours. She’s on flight #282, and I need you to pick her up, and then drive her back to her apartment.”

  “Is everything okay, Connor? You sound upset,” he asked.

  “Miss Lane and I will not be seeing each other anymore, and I don’t want to discuss it. I just left the hotel, and I’m heading back to New York. Just make sure you pick her up from the airport and take her home.”

  “Very well, Connor. I’ll be there to pick up Miss Lane.”

  “Denny,” I said before he hung up.

  “Yes, Connor?”

  “She’s probably going to need you to comfort her when she steps off the plane. Please be there for her,” I said.

  “No problem, Connor. You know I’m very fond of Miss Lane.”

  I hung up the phone and pulled out of the hotel parking lot. My mind was racing and reliving the conversation with Kyle over and over. I was blinded by rage when Ellery confirmed she had cancer and she’s not seeking treatment for it. I knew I said some pretty mean things, but I was so angry, and I felt betrayed. I wondered if she was ever going to tell me that she was sick. I knew something was off with her from the start, but I never dreamed her cancer came back. I turned my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or hear anything. I was trying so hard to hold it together because the last thing I needed was to fall apart. I couldn’t stop thinking about her sitting on the floor and the look on her face when I yelled at her. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fear in her eyes right before Kyle told me. She was alone, but there was no way I could stay there with her. What she did to me was so fucking hurtful. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to forgive her. Tears started to fall down my face as I was driving down the road. I glanced over and saw a field to the right. I pulled over to the side of the road, got out of the Range Rover, and started running towards the field. I felt a few raindrops hit my face. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I stopped in the middle of the field and screamed. The hurt and betrayal I felt was unreal, something I’d never experienced before. The sky opened up, and the rain came pouring down upon me as I dropped to my knees and sobbed. My heart physically ached, and my chest felt like it had been punched. I felt like my life had just been ripped away from me.

  I got up from the ground and headed back to the Range Rover. I was soaked, cold, and I needed to change into some dry clothes. I opened the back, grabbed my bag, and threw it on the front seat. I climbed in the back seat and changed out of my wet clothes. I had a towel in my bag that I used to dry off my body and hair. After I put on some dry clothes, I climbed in the driver’s seat and took in a deep breath. I needed to call Peyton to tell her what happened and find out if she knew Ellery was sick. I called my associate, Scott, and had him get Peyton’s number. As soon as he called me back with it, I dialed her number.

  “Hello,” Peyton answered.

  “Peyton, its Connor Black, and I need to talk to you.”

  “Connor, is everything okay? Is Elle okay?” she asked in a panicked tone.

  “I have a question for you, and I want you to be honest with me, please.”

  “Connor, you’re kind of scaring me here. What the fuck is going on?”

  “Did you know that Ellery’s cancer came back?”

  There was silence on the other end.

  “No, Connor, I didn’t know that. She never said a word to me about it.”

  I could tell Peyton was telling the truth, and I hated that I was the one to tell her, but I needed her to be there for Ellery, so I had to explain what happened.

  “Kyle came to the hotel room in Michigan and told me that Ellery’s cancer
is back. He also said that she’s refusing to get treatment, and that’s why he left her, because he couldn’t sit there and watch her die.”

  “What a fucking douchebag,” she said. “And what do you mean she isn’t getting treatment?”

  “She won’t get treatments because she said she can’t go through it again. Peyton, I said some horrible things to her, and I left her. I booked a flight back to New York for her, and I left her alone in the hotel room. I’m having my driver pick her up from the airport and drive her home. She’s going to need you when she gets there. I need you to be with her and make sure she’s okay and safe.”

  “Connor, are you okay?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, Peyton. I feel all fucked up inside, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her for keeping this from me.”

  “You’re hurt and upset right now. I get that, but if you love her like I think you do, that’s what will get you through this.”

  “I have to go, Peyton. Please just be there for Ellery.”

  “I will, Connor. Don’t worry about her. I’ve got this.”

  I hung up and continued driving. My head was pounding, and the sting of tears clouded my eyes. My head was a clusterfuck with everything that had happened. How could I be the happiest person alive a day ago, but the most miserable person alive today? I drove straight through to New York. The only stop I made was to get gas.

  When I finally made it home, I stepped off the elevator and into the darkness of my penthouse. It felt lonely because the last time I was here, Ellery was too. I threw my keys on the table in the hallway and walked over to the bar. I grabbed the bottle of scotch, a glass, and walked upstairs to my room. I threw back my glass and downed the first shot. I needed the alcohol to stop the pain. I got up from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. I needed a shower. I stepped inside and stood under the hot stream of water that ran down my body. I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I put my hands against the shower wall and lowered my head. I felt lost and never more alone in my life. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. As I walked into the bedroom, I stopped and stared at Ellery’s paintings. I bought them so I could feel closer to her, but at that moment, I didn’t; I only felt further away. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at my phone. I was surprised she didn’t try to call me. I thought after what I’d said to her and in the tone I’d said it, she was probably scared. I turned my phone off, because I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. I picked up the bottle of pills that Dr. Peters gave me and decided to take one to help me sleep. I poured another glass of scotch and downed it with the pill. I got up, walked to my dresser, put on a pair of pajama bottoms, and climbed into bed. I laid there until a single tear fell down my face and I fell fast asleep.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, I rolled over and opened my eyes, staring at the empty space next to me. I reached over to grab my phone from the nightstand and turned it on. I wasn’t supposed to be back from Michigan yet, but I gave strict instructions to Valerie not to bother me unless someone was dying. I knew my company would be in good hands with Phil, my vice president. A text message from Ashlyn came through. Shit, I couldn’t deal with her, especially now.

  “Connor, I know you’re out of town, but I was hoping we could get together when you come back. I need you so bad, and I miss our friendship.”

  I needed to get her out of town for a while. I didn’t even want to hear her voice, let alone look at her. I called Howie from our Florida office and told him to find her something to do for a couple of weeks. He said that one of their assistants just quit, and they needed someone to temporarily fill in until they replaced her. I told him she’d be there tomorrow. I got out of bed and dialed Paul.

  “Connor, how’s your road trip going?” he asked.

  “Paul, I need you to do something for me. Howie called. Apparently, one of their assistants just quit, and I want you to send Ashlyn there for a couple of weeks to fill in. Have the plane fueled and send her on her way.”

  “Okay. Why the urgency?” he asked.

  “The urgency is that Howie needs an assistant right away.”

  “I got it, Connor. I’ll call her now and put her on the plane,” Paul said before he hung up.

  I threw my phone on the bed and walked to the bathroom. I splashed some cool water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and swollen. I also needed to shave, but I didn’t feel like it. I walked back to my phone and dialed Dr. Peters. I needed to see him right away.

  “Connor? I’m surprised to hear from you,” he answered.

  “I need to see you right away, it’s urgent.”

  “Is everything alright?”

  “No, it’s not, and that’s why I need to see you immediately.”

  “Can you come to my office around noon?”

  “Dr. Peters, I don’t think you understand. I’ll pay you triple your fee if you’ll see me within an hour.”

  “Fine, Connor. I’ll see you in an hour.”

  I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and headed downstairs. My phone rang, and as I looked at it, Ashlyn’s name appeared. Damn her.

  “Yeah, what is it, Ashlyn?” I answered.

  “Why the hell are you sending me to Florida?!” she spat.

  “Calm down, Ashlyn. It’s only for a couple of weeks. One of the assistants quit, and they need someone to fill in right away. You’re the first person I thought of because you’ve worked with them on other projects. Howie’s excited to have you.”

  “Are you trying to get rid of me? Because if you are, Connor, so help me…”

  I needed to remain calm because she was pissing me off, and I wasn’t in the mood for this.

  “Ashlyn, listen to me, pack your suitcase, get on the company plane, go to Florida, and when you get back, we’ll go out. It will be your choice, and we’ll do whatever you want to do.”

  There was a moment of silence on the other end.

  “Fine, Connor, but you better be ready for me when I get back because we have a lot of making up to do,” she spoke.

  “Yep. Have a safe trip, Ashlyn,” I said as I hung up.

  I quickly dialed Howie. “Howie, change of plans. I want you to keep Ashlyn on board for a month, and I don’t want her back in New York until I say.”

  I needed her out of the way and out of my life while I figured out what direction my life was heading. The pain in my heart was still there, and Ellery was still on my mind. I missed her already, and I wondered if she was okay. I heard footsteps enter the kitchen, and I turned around to see Denny standing there. I ran my hand through my hair as I looked at him.

  “She told me everything, Connor.”

  I sighed. “I can’t talk about this right now, Denny. I have an appointment that I have to get to. Let’s have dinner tonight.”

  “Dinner sounds good. Do you need me to drive you to your appointment?” he asked.

  “No, I’m driving myself. Let’s meet at The Pier around six-thirty,” I said as I grabbed my keys and headed towards the elevator. As the doors opened, I stopped and turned to Denny.

  “How was she?” I asked, not knowing if I really wanted to know the answer.

  Denny looked at me sympathetically before he responded.

  “She was a total mess, Connor. How did you think she was going to be?”

  I shook my head and stepped on the elevator. I rubbed my forehead as the doors shut, and Denny stood there looking at me.

  * * *

  “I thought you were on a road trip to Michigan?” Dr. Peters asked as I walked into his office.

  “Let’s just say the trip got cut short,” I replied as I stood in front of his large office window.

  “Judging by the way you look and the way you’re talking, something bad must’ve happened. Sit down, and let’s talk about it.”

  “I don’t want to sit down. I’m fine standing here.” I took in a deep breath. “Ellery dropped a bomb on me.”


  “Continue,” he said.

  “She has cancer, and she’s known about it before we even met. She didn’t tell me, and she’s refusing to get treatment, so she’s just going to let herself die and to hell with everyone and anyone who loves her.”

  “What did you do when you found out?” he asked.

  I turned around and looked at him. “I yelled and said some really nasty things to her, then stormed out. I put her on plane back here while I drove back alone. There was no way I could be alone with her in a car for ten hours.”

  “I can understand that. Just a few days ago you told me you were just friends taking a simple road trip. Did you sleep with her?”

  I walked over to the chair across from him and sat down.

  “Yes, we slept together, and I wish we wouldn’t have because it wouldn’t be this hard.”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered if you slept with her or not. You’re in love with this woman, and don’t you dare try to deny it,” he said as he pointed his finger at me.

  “You’re right. I’m in love with her. I gave myself to her after I promised I would never give myself emotionally to any woman, and she took what I gave her, and then ripped it to pieces. How do I ever get over the fact that she lied and hid a huge secret from me?”

  I got up from the chair because the more I thought and talked about it, the angrier I became. “I told her about Amanda and everything that happened. I told her about how I use women for sex and then throw them away.”