Cassidy James

by Ashley Wilcox

  But I didn’t, and I struggled to get away a little more to prove it, glaring at Connor on his knees, his hands cupped under his nose, trying to catch the blood that was gushing out. He was fucked up for sure, but I still wanted more. I wanted to…

  But then I heard her voice, a loud cry in the distance.

  “Graham!” Cassidy’s voice rang clear. “Graham, please stop.”

  I swallowed hard. Her body eventually seeped through the swarm of people. Her face was soaked with tears; smeared makeup covered her cheeks. Cassidy looked so frightened that every tense muscle in my body relaxed, the exhaustion of what just happened surfacing throughout my body. Troy and Caleb’s hands dropped from my arms, releasing me.

  “Out!” I heard Coach Peterson yell. “Get to class…now!”

  I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming. I was fucked. With Connor practically crying on the ground, demolished, and me with only a few cuts and bruises, I was going to be blamed. Though the victory and the sight of Connor crucified was everything I hoped to accomplish, I was an idiot for not stopping when I was ahead. I went crazy…psychotic, probably the better term here.

  “Wagner. Blakely,” he yelled as he came to the clearing where we stood. “My office…now!”

  I looked at Cassidy once more.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears still flowing like crazy down her face.

  As much as I wanted to hate her right then, my heart clenched seeing her sad, droopy eyes, and sunken, emotionally hurt body. I didn’t have any words for her, though. All I could do was look at Cassidy, exhausted. I was over it all. I was over fighting for her…and for what?

  Coach gripped my arm and pulled me in the direction of his office. Connor was already up and walking in front of us when I looked away from Cassidy. He looked so damn pathetic that all I could do as I was being dragged was smile. I might be totally fucked, but seeing that he finally got what he deserved felt so fucking amazing that I didn’t even care what the punishment was going to be.

  One week. Two weeks for Connor since he was the one who hunted me down and threw the first punch, but I got one week for beating his ass in return. I threw the self-defense card out there, hoping I could weaken the punishment to in-school suspension instead of out-of-school, but Principal Richland made the call and said that with the way I left Connor, I was lucky I wasn’t being expelled.

  I guess I could see his point there.

  I talked to Coach, too, hoping that it wouldn’t go against me with getting into any schools in the fall. He said it shouldn’t. Other than this little blip, I was a good student and still a hell of a soccer player. Not to mention, it appeared that he would have my back if any recruiters questioned my suspension. For some reason, I got the impression he wasn’t too fond of Connor either; seemed to be a trend that I was noticing lately.

  As I pulled my car in the driveway and saw both of my parents’ cars sitting in it, home from work early, I had a feeling my punishment wasn’t going to be just a week of suspension. Even though my mom was the sweetest lady on the planet, she and my dad still were stern parents, especially my dad. I could only imagine how much he was pacing, waiting for me. He was a traditional guy with traditional values. He cared about his self-image and what people around town thought of him. He’d damn sure care about how my actions made the family look.

  I rested my head back on the headrest and took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing,” I whispered to myself before pulling the keys from the ignition and stepping out of the car.

  As expected, they were both waiting for me in the kitchen. Mom was sitting anxiously at the table and Dad was pacing behind her. Both of their heads lifted, gazes set right on me, as I walked through the door.

  “Have a seat, son,” Dad said before I could even offer an explanation.

  I rubbed my head, feeling a slight headache coming on. I didn’t know if it was from Connor’s one punch or all the shit I had flying around in my head, but I asked if I could get a glass a water and Tylenol first.

  Dad gave me a glare and pointed to a chair. “You can wait.”

  Awesome.

  I let out an exhausted breath as I took a seat across from my mom.

  This should be interesting.

  He was clearly pissed.

  “Graham, honey, you can’t just go off on every one of Cassidy’s boyfriends,” Mom said right out of the gate. Her tone was a little sweeter than Dad’s at least.

  Of course they were seeing it that way. I’m sure everyone was; poor Graham was jealous and went off the deep end.

  Jesus Christ!

  I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that,” I said. “He was the one that started it. I—”

  “Dammit, Graham! Get your head out of your ass!” Dad yelled, slamming both of his hands down on the table between Mom and I, causing both of us to jump. “You’ve got to let this thing with Cassidy go. You’re acting like a damn child.”

  Typically, I would be ashamed of myself for letting him down, but I refused this time. I did nothing wrong. I defended myself. I might have gotten a little carried away, but he should be proud of me for standing up for myself. Not pissed!

  “Head out of my ass?” I looked up at him, angry. “He threw the first punch. He came after me!”

  Shock smeared across his face. I never talked back to my dad, but this whole situation was ridiculous. I didn’t regret one second of today, and I wasn’t going to let him make me feel guilty about it.

  “Don’t you dare raise your voice to me!” he practically spit just as Connor had earlier. “I don’t care what Connor said or did. You acted reckless and childish.”

  I rolled my eyes and stood, done. Pointless. Anything and everything about this situation was pointless to even argue the truth.

  “Whatever, Dad.” I turned to go upstairs.

  “No car. No soccer. Nothing for the duration of your suspension,” he called out from behind me.

  I quickly turned on my heels. I would take the suspension, and even the no car. No way would I accept this one. Especially when I did nothing wrong. “Soccer?” I asked, completely irritated now. “Coach said I could practice, just not play in the game this week.”

  “I don’t care what your coach says. I said no!”

  Oh, I could feel it. My blood was getting more and more heated by the second. Man, if I had a do over button, I would go back and beat the snot out of Blakely. The fucker was taking every important thing that belonged to me away, starting with Cassidy and ending with soccer.

  “So fucking ridiculous,” I muttered mostly to myself, but made sure it was loud enough for my dad to hear.

  “Keep it up, and you can extend it,” he yelled, but I didn’t even bother to respond. I was too livid, and it was pointless anyway. I took the stairs up to my room two at a time instead.

  As if my life couldn’t get any worse, today I had to ride the bus. The bus! Both Graham and Connor, the only two people I could drive with, were suspended. Not that I was currently on speaking terms with either one of them, but even if I were, they were unavailable. So, yeah, that left my only option as the bus. I hadn’t taken the bus since we were sixteen and before Graham got his license. I actually didn’t even know what time it came. My mom had to call the bus garage and check, which oh my word, if Graham thought we left early for school before, the bus comes even earlier! And the ride was long, so long. If it wasn’t for my iPod I don’t know what I would’ve done.

  I wasn’t looking forward to today. Just like I wasn’t yesterday, I wasn’t today either. The bus that conveniently dropped us off at the top of the circle, right in front of the doors, where I stood for a full five minutes just staring at the inevitability before me. I had to walk in. I couldn’t just stand out here all day. Though I wanted to so badly, I had to bite the bullet and walk through the doors.

  I had no friends. I had no one waiting for me inside. Everyone hated me and thought that I was an awful person. In all honesty, I couldn’t really blame them. I felt the same
way, too, but it sucked regardless. No one liked being the outcast and the one everybody hated. Even though I never thought it’d be me, it was, and I hated every second of it.

  “You just gonna stand here, girl, or you gonna walk in?” a familiar, bubbly voice asked from beside me.

  I looked to my side and lifted a small smile on my lips. Levi. I had no clue what he knew. He had been gone all weekend and I didn’t know if he was in school yesterday, but he was talking to me—and acting normal!—so I needed to eat up his energy and give myself the small chance to feel better about the day. I at least had one person that didn’t hate me or at least acted like they did anyway.

  “I don’t want to,” I said nervously. “It’s going to be bad.”

  He waved it off and rolled his eyes, looping his arm with mine. “See it as your ten seconds of fame,” Levi said as he started to pull me towards the doors.

  “You know?” I asked, walking with him.

  Levi’s forehead wrinkled as he did this weird look with his eyebrows. “Girl, please. Your shit flew around this school so fast I was worried you got whiplashed.”

  I laughed at his exaggeration. Leave it to Levi to make a crappy situation seem entertaining. If I had to go in, he was the perfect person to have at my side.

  “I don’t know how I even got myself into this mess,” I moaned as he somehow got me to put one foot in front of the other, heading towards the entrance.

  “It’s because you’re hot!” Levi pointed out. “It’s not your fault that two guys were fighting over you.”

  He opened one of the double doors, gesturing for me to enter before him.

  “I wish that were the real reason,” I said somberly. It wasn’t the standard case of cute girl being wanted by two guys. It was cute girl playing both guys without either guy knowing it and girl not realizing what she was doing until it was too late.

  That was the real reason!

  Levi waved it off again as we now stood facing each other in the main corridor. “Chin up, buttercup. All these bitches are just jealous. Walk like you own the place. It’ll all be old news soon anyway.”

  Levi refused to hear me whine. I wish I could always see the cup half full like him. Levi always saw the fun, good side of things and never let anything bother him. I was envious.

  “Thanks, friend.” I gave him a hug, trying as much as I could to smile and take his advice. It sure would make things easier if I did.

  “Anytime,” Levi said, hugging me back. “I’ll meet up with you in a bit. I’ve gotta go turn in my note.”

  “Oh! How did this weekend go?” I asked, completely forgetting about his meeting and everything in New York.

  “Amazing!” he responded, his eyes lighting up as he said it. “I’ll tell you all about it later!”

  I smiled as he walked away then took a deep breath.

  I could do this.

  Nobody knew exactly what had happened. Let them talk. I didn’t care. I was done caring what everyone else thought of me. Levi gave me the push to walk with confidence.

  It didn’t last long, though. That confidence vanished as soon as I got to my locker. Every sad, guilty, ashamed emotion swelled back up when I saw my locker covered in sticky notes.

  Whore!

  Slut!

  Bitch!

  You don’t deserve either of them!

  Those were just some of the choice messages. I didn’t have it in me to even look to see what the others said. Instead I ripped them all down, tears streaming down my face as I did.

  “It’ll all blow over soon,” I heard Abby caringly say from beside me.

  I looked up, hoping it was really her and not just a figment of my imagination. But sure enough, it was Abby standing there.

  I gulped back the ginormous knot in my throat—the one that was getting progressively larger—not even trying to fight back the mass amounts of tears that welled in my eyes. I let them fall like waterfalls down my face, uncontrollably. Abby was the last person I expected to be standing next to my locker today—and seeming sympathetic on top of that. I didn’t know why she was standing there. I didn’t know if I was seconds away from getting my butt reamed out by her, but I didn’t care. I just loved that she was standing there…beside me…noticing me.

  “Thank you.” I sniffed. I missed her so much. We’d never gone this long without talking, and I hated it. With all that was going on, I needed her more than ever.

  It only took all of maybe two seconds for Abby’s arms to wrap around me. I didn’t think the tears could flow any quicker.

  “I’m so sorry, Abby,” I cried into her shirt.

  “I know…I know,” she consoled me, running her hand gently down my back.

  “I wish I would’ve listened to you. I wish…” I looked at her and tried to dry my tears. “I wish I never went to the dance with Connor and ditched…”

  “It’s okay, Cass,” Abby tried to stop my endless apology. I knew I was rambling and throwing everything out there, but I wanted her to know how truly sorry I was and how much I wished I could take everything back if I could. “I know you are,” she said, “but I’m not really the one you should be apologizing to.”

  I bit down on my lip and met her gaze. She did deserve an apology from me, but I did ultimately get what she was talking about.

  I nodded my head, agreeing.

  Graham.

  Graham deserved every apologetic word imaginable.

  Even if he didn’t have anything to say to me and never wanted to see my face again, I needed to apologize. He got the worst part of everything that happened.

  “You should be apologizing to yourself, too.”

  “Me?” That shocked the hell out of me; it wasn’t at all what I was thinking.

  “You’ve been lying to yourself all this time.”

  What was she talking about?

  The warning bell rang, startling us both.

  Abby smiled before stepping to the side. “You’ll figure it out,” she said. “I promise.” And then she walked down the hall the opposite way.

  I stood there for a moment and watched her walk away, processing her statement.

  Lying to myself?

  But then I noticed she wasn’t walking in the direction of our first class.

  “Where are you going?” I called out.

  She turned and smiled. “I’ve gotta pick up Graham’s homework from the office.”

  I still didn’t know what she was talking about, but I knew that I needed to apologize to Graham, so I had an idea.

  “Do you think I could drop it off to him?”

  A grin formed on Abby’s face before she responded, “Yeah, sure.”

  I was bored out of my freaking mind. The only thing keeping me alive at the moment was my Madden game on my Xbox. As crazy as it sounded, I was actually looking forward to Abby dropping off my homework for the day. I needed something to do. I called her last night to see if she would mind, since she was the only person I knew who didn’t play sports after school and had a second to swing by.

  The doorbell rang a little later, after school ended. I hurried down the stairs and pushed my untamed hair out of my face before I opened the door. What, or should I say, who was on the other side made me take a step back and almost lose my shit. I was stunned to say the least.

  Cassidy looked drained. Her hair was pulled back in a mess on the top of her head, and her eyes, although still beautiful, looked like they hadn’t seen rest in days.

  “Hey,” I said finally.

  “Hey,” she said back. “I got your homework for you.” She lifted her hand and handed me a manila folder.

  I took it with an appreciative grin. “Thanks. I thought Abby was going to get it, though?”

  Cassidy shrugged her shoulders. “I told her I would.” She quickly glanced over to her house. “I’m just next door.”

  I nodded, my eyes on hers. God, I hated how beautiful she was. It was so damn awkward standing in front of each other with nothing but silence filling the
space between us. I couldn’t stop staring. No matter how much the girl pissed me off sometimes, I never could stay mad at her for long.

  But there was also nothing left to say. I was pretty sure she knew how I felt about her. Though I’d never come right out and said it, I think it was pretty obvious…to everyone.

  “I’m sorry,” she said a few seconds later, taking me by surprise.

  “Oh…um.” I had no clue what to say. I was caught completely off guard. I was the one who told her to go. Everything that came after that was my fault. She didn’t make Connor come after me or make me beat the living shit out of him. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

  A smile perked from her lips, noticing my jumbled words and reply. “For everything.”

  Lord, if it didn’t get me in so much trouble before, I’d kiss those beautiful lips so damn hard right now!

  She looked so fucking innocent and cute. This girl meant so much to me that all I could think about was her and me, and nothing else, but shit.

  I ran my hand through my hair, getting a handle on myself. “It’s fine, Cass,” I said, trying to act unaffected and like the friends we were. “Really…” I shook my head. “It had nothing to do with you.”

  “What?” Cassidy was quick to defend. “It had everything to do with me. If it weren’t for the mess I created, none of this would’ve ever happened with you two.”

  “We had pent up tension. It was bound to happen eventually.”

  Yeah, it was Cassidy’s name being thrown around that caused the fight, but I hated Connor. I hated everything about him and had for years. This was just what made the pot boil over, the gloves come off.

  Cassidy’s teeth started to nibble down on her lip nervously.

  God, I hated when she did that. It was my weakness and so fucking hot! I had to abort this conversation. I couldn’t control myself with her around. I needed to keep things real and the same with us. I needed to stay Graham, the friend from next door.

  “Well, thanks for bringing this over,” I said, holding up the folder.

  I could see her swallow and the sadness build in her eyes.