Danni to Pieces: Book One: Forced

by L. T. Varner

  I yelled back as I pointed down the hall toward the stage, “What the hell is it about him that consumes me? I find myself wanting to kiss him among other things, and it drives me nuts!”

  I realized the music had stopped, and I was still yelling. How perfect, I thought and started heading for the front door.

  Mike was instantly by my side “Do you want an answer to that question or not?”

  “Sure, why not,” I snapped as we both stopped and looked at each other.

  He put his hands on my shoulders and very calmly said, “You are so good at ignoring unpleasant things that sometimes you ignore the good moments, as well.”

  I looked at him and asked, “What are you talking about?” I hated riddles, and he knew this.

  “Danni, you’re in love with him,” he said before he stepped back to let me absorb that.

  “What? No. NO! Are you crazy?” I scoffed at him, and he just looked at me smiling.

  I stood there for a minute trying to process what he had just said. No way. I am not capable of being in love. Not me. I was internally arguing with myself, and Mike knew it as he watched me.

  “Collin is getting married, remember?” I said, running my hands through my hair.

  “Why do you think Collin struggles to be around you, as well? He is in love with you, too. He’s trying to deny it as much as you are.”

  I leaned against the wall replaying things in my head. In a roundabout way, it made sense. I hated admitting that to myself.

  Mike said, “Daniel and I have known this for the past ten months, and we thought you both realized it, too.”

  About that time Daniel came down the hall and asked, “Hey, why did you run off?”

  Mike quickly caught him up and he laughed and said, “Finally, we can talk about it now. Man, you are slow, Danni.”

  I tried to hit him, but Mike blocked my clear shot. Daniel looked at me and said, “If you think Collin isn’t aware of how he feels for you, you’re wrong. He’s well aware of who he wants to be with. It’s not that easy, though.”

  “Then why is he getting married?” I asked, frustrated.

  Mike answered, “That is a question none of us can answer right now.”

  Collin turned the corner pulling his ear pieces out as we all stopped talking.

  “What’s going on? Danni, are you okay?” Collin asked, stopping directly in front of me.

  I nodded as Mike quickly changed the subject. I felt weird around him suddenly as I just stood there saying nothing. Collin stepped closer not caring who was around as he put his hands on my cheeks. His dark blue eyes stared into mine as I inhaled a quick breath and tried not to touch him back.

  Oh, thank God, I thought, hearing Dad call my name. I yelled back and started walking toward the gym.

  Collin grabbed my hand and asked, “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?”

  Mike and Daniel quickly made their way to the gym, looking back at me and smiling. I leaned against the wall again and tried to control all the new information in my head.

  Collin asked again, “Are you okay?”

  “Collin, I am fine. I just reacted a little quickly. I’m sorry. I’m working on it.”

  “Danni, I feel horrible. I should never have touched you that way or tried to provoke you. I was a complete dick, and I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

  I nodded at him, unable to look him in the eye without wanting to kiss him.

  “Come on, you can watch us do the last take,” he said, grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers in mine as we walked back to the gym.

  “By the way,” he said, glancing at me, “I think this place is the coolest home I have ever seen.”

  He took off to the stage as we entered the gym and I walked over to my dad. He was standing with a gentleman I didn’t recognize who was wearing a suit.

  “Hey, Dad, what do you need me to sign?” I asked as he pointed to a contract sitting on a table between them. “What is it?” I asked, picking it up.

  “A present, baby girl. Read it and we can answer any questions you have,” he replied, signaling between him and whoever the guy was standing by us.

  I quickly scanned the contract. It was the record company’s offer to pay me for letting them use the school for the video. I had to grab my dad’s arm for support when I saw how much. No freaking way. Just to let them use my unfinished home?

  I told him it was too much, and he assured me it was what the going rate was.

  “Sign the contract and take the money or I will tell Collin you love him,” he joked, holding a pen out to me.

  I looked at him asked, “What are you talking about?”

  “You know exactly what I am talking about.”

  “Fine,” I said and signed the papers before handing them back to him.

  As I tried to walk off, he said, “Baby girl, I have one more thing for you to sign.”

  The man in the suit put a large envelope in front of me. It had a different attorney’s name embossed on the outside. I took the papers from the envelope and saw it was a barrister in Canada. Obviously, this must be the man in front of me.

  “Hi, Danni, my name is Dave Slage. I represent Carter Sanchez, or ‘Shorty,’ as most people called him.”

  I shook his hand and asked, “What is all of this?”

  “Take a moment and read it and then I will answer any questions you have.”

  I started reading the papers talking about inheritance. Some guy named Shorty named me as one of two of his beneficiaries. I didn’t even know this person. He was leaving me a significant amount of money and property in Vancouver, BC.

  “Dad, I think they have the wrong person,” I said, dumbfounded.

  “No, Baby Girl. You’re the right person. Shorty was your grandfather on your mom’s side. He recently passed away and listed you as a beneficiary.”

  “What about Mom?” I asked, realizing how weird it was to say that word.

  “I don’t know anything about that. I asked Dave, and he can’t answer any questions unrelated to your grandfather’s wishes.”

  I signed the papers and gave them back to the lawyer, mostly because of frustration of not being comfortable enough to talk about anything related to my mom.

  After signing a dozen times and getting Dave to leave already, Mike and I watched the band finish up the video.

  “Are you Danni?” I turned to a tall redheaded woman tapping me on the shoulder.

  “Yes. Why?” I asked a little snippy, not in the mood to deal with anyone else today.

  “We need to get you ready. Will you please come with me?” she asked, seeming a little afraid of me.

  I looked at her with complete confusion on my face and said, “Look, chick, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I probably don’t want to know either, so run along.”

  “Danni, be nice!” Mike snapped at me with a mean look on his face.

  Collin and Daniel hopped off the stage and came toward us. Both of them had huge smiles on their faces. Instantly I had an idea of what the redhead was talking about.

  I looked at Mike and said, “Oh, hell no. Not gonna happen.”

  Collin sat down beside me and said, “You remember that bet?” As his sly smile that always seemed to get the best of me appeared on his face, I decided to play dumb and shook my head, and Collin started laughing. Dad had walked over at that point smiling, as well.

  “I’m leaving now because I don’t think me being here will make you two comfortable. Collin, I expect you to treat my baby girl with nothing but respect. Do you understand me?” Dad asked, focusing his protective look toward Collin.

  “Yes, Billy. I will take excellent care of your baby girl,” Collin said, trying to keep a straight face with Daniel already laughing.

  Mike stood up about that time, and I grabbed his arm and quickly said, “You are not leaving!”

  He looked back at me and said, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I’m going to get my camera from the car.”

  He gav
e me the smile he always used when he couldn’t wait to watch me make an ass of myself. At this point, I was giving up on the idea that I might get out of this.

  I finally asked, “What exactly do I have to do?”

  Daniel kept laughing and took off after Mike to avoid the conversation. Collin put his arm around my shoulders.

  “I will lead, and all you have to do is follow me. I’m sure you will catch on quickly.”

  Well, that confused me even more. The redhead was back, and Collin urged me to follow her, which I reluctantly did. I followed the woman to the locker room trying to remember if there was an exit in there. A sign greeted me indicating that this was the costume, hair, and make-up room. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about anyone touching me, even if it was just to make me look camera-ready.

  It had been years since I went with my dad to his video’s shoots. I remembered being a kid and Mike and me running around getting yelled at the whole time. Dad would always end up calling Rosa to tell her to get us because we could never behave. It made me smile thinking back to all the trouble Mike, and I could get into.

  The redhead led me to a chair and told me to have a seat. Another older woman was waiting for us as I sat down. The redhead explained what I was here for. The first question she asked me was when the last time was that I had waxed or shaved. After I heard that question, I started to panic. What had I gotten myself into? I told her it had been a while, and she sighed and started pulling all kinds of beauty products out of a box. The truth was I hadn’t been waxed or even been to a salon since the assault. I hated what I looked like naked and had no desire for anyone else to see my scars. They still broke me a little emotionally when I saw them.

  I spent two hours getting waxed, spray tanned, and made-up, before she did my hair and makeup, and finally took me to a room and told me I needed to get dressed. I stepped into the one-person shower stall, pulled the red drape back, and saw my outfit draped over the chair. It was a very tiny pair of black lacy boy shorts, which I was okay with considering that is usually what I wore. The problem was that there was no top. I laughed hysterically and walked back out to find the grumpy lady.

  Finding Grumpy, I said, “Excuse me but there is no top. I need a top.”

  She rolled her eyes and said, “I am aware that there is no top. Please finish getting ready.”

  “Nope!” I said popping the “p” sound and giving her back some attitude, “I need a top. No top, no video!”

  She left the dressing room looking like she was ready to kill me. A couple of minutes later I heard Collin asking if everything was okay outside my makeshift dressing room.

  “I need a top,” I said from behind the curtain, hoping he couldn’t hear the panic in my voice. This was making me super uncomfortable. It was a known fact by most who knew me that my discomfort meant I was going to show my extremely bitchy side. Mike could control it, but this took years of practice.

  Collin came in as I stood there in the underwear and robe. He looked at me and said, “Wow, Danni, you are stunning.”

  “I wouldn’t put too much appreciation into what can easily be wiped off,” I said, pulling my robe snug around me.

  He put his hands on my shoulders, which instantly made me think of other things I shouldn’t have been thinking of.

  “Come on. I promise you I won’t let anyone see anything they shouldn’t,” he said, pulling me along behind him.

  I wondered perhaps if I tried not to touch him maybe that would help me remember he’s getting married. That seemed to be a good theory. Also, not looking at his ass when he walked in front of me would probably be a good idea, too. I completely failed at that part. Damn, the way his dark jeans hugged him in all the right spots was not helping.

  We made our way to the gym and the director told me exactly what the scene was and what I needed to do. It was official: this was the worst bet I had ever made.

  I walked up onto the stage, and the only thing I could see was a bed in the middle of the platform. It was covered with a black satin sheet with candles strategically placed all around it. I couldn’t tell if anyone was watching since the only soft lights directed toward the bed. I hoped they all had left to save me further embarrassment.

  I asked the redhead, “Are there going to be a lot of people watching?”

  “No, honey, Collin asked for it to be a closed set.”

  Oh, thank holy heaven on Earth, I praised, feeling much better until she told me to take off my robe and lie on the bed. Nausea rolled over me. I don’t have the guts to do this. My body reminded me what the director said I was supposed to do, and I found myself a little excited. I grabbed the top sheet off the bed before I took off my robe and covered my chest so no one would get a good look. I lay down on the bed quickly.

  I heard a couple of whistles and knew that Mike and Daniel were being removed from the gym. I pulled the sheet over my head. Feeling someone else lie down on the bed, I jerked away automatically.

  “Why are you covering your face, pretty girl?” Collin asked in a playful voice.

  “I want to die,” I said, trying to keep a hold of the sheet he was pulling away.

  He laughed and said, “Relax. It’s just you and me and maybe three camera people. They are professionals just doing their jobs. I will direct you with movements. Just play along with what I do first.”

  I groaned in complete frustration trying to disappear in the sheet.

  He laughed managing to pull the sheet away as I moved onto my stomach to hide my boobs. We made eye contact and looked at each other with lust all over our faces. This was not good. It just forced me to want more of what I couldn’t have.

  “You look beautiful,” he said in a whisper as he ran his fingertips down my back and I shivered.

  I noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt either. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers down his chest and stomach.

  “Danni, why are you looking at me like that? I can’t think when you do that,” he whispered, moving closer as I rolled onto my side and he pulled me against his chest.

  Earlier the director told me we were supposed to roll around basically in bed very passionately, and now that felt exactly right. The music came on full blast and scared me out of my daydream. Collin must have felt me jump, and he pulled me toward him, so our fronts were touching. I moaned low, feeling our skin touching. He leaned further over me, moving my hair away from my neck.

  I was half-naked and knew getting up meant being naked in front of everyone and that was not an option. The music was slow as he rolled on top of me. My whole body instantly felt like I was on fire and I couldn’t help but gasp for air. Lying there with both of us shirtless, I started letting myself feel his touch. He radiated heat off his tan, muscular chest. I ran my fingers over his cheeks and into his disheveled hair.

  “Put your arms around me,” he said, leaning into my neck as I felt his hand slide down my side.

  He rolled me over, so I was on top of him, making me bring my legs up to straddle his hips. I closed my eyes, feeling his hands run down my back and over my ass. I tried to listen to the music, so I wouldn’t do anything embarrassing. He slowly started kissing my neck. His hands ran down my sides, and I put my hands on his shoulders and then on his neck.

  “Open your eyes and look at me,” he said, planting kisses along my jaw and ear.

  When I did look at him, I realized Mike and Daniel, and everyone for that matter was right. I was madly in love with this man and wanted every part of him. I leaned in and planted my lips on his, hoping the director wouldn’t stop me. Instead, he pulled me closer and started kissing me back with more force. The music kept playing with no one yelling “stop.” I forgot about everyone around us, and I let myself get lost in him. Collin’s tongue ran along my lips when I opened my mouth more, giving into anything he wanted to do.

  I noticed the song had started over, and the lighting was a little different, and we rolled over so he was on top of me. He was kissing my neck and chest like a man
losing control. I arched my back and moaned as he came back up to my neck and pulled my hands over my head.

  “Keep them there, baby,” Collin said as he slowly pulled his hands back down to my chest and I felt him touching me. I couldn’t help myself as I arched my back again and let out a louder moan. He must have liked it because he started kissing me even more passionately after that. I pushed him back over, so I was on top of him. I did what he had done and pulled his hands over his head while I started kissing his neck and chest. I let myself perhaps go a little too low as I kissed his stomach near his jeans. I couldn’t stop myself as I popped open the top button and licked his lower stomach. I felt his hand fist my hair as he propped himself up on an elbow to watch me. The music stopped, and the director yelled that that was a wrap.

  No, it can’t be over. I needed so much more of Collin and judging from his impressive erection, he wanted more, too. I had to take a moment before I could move. Otherwise, I might do something I couldn’t stop. I was so close to ecstasy.

  “You okay, baby?” Collin asked, breathing heavily as I glanced up at him and shook my head.

  “Shut up and don’t move,” I quietly said letting my body win as pleasure clouded my mind.

  He lay back and started laughing silently. I felt like an idiot. After a couple of minutes, I saw my robe lying on the bed. I grabbed it and started back to the dressing room.

  Instead of being embarrassed, I was pissed off. I knew exactly why I was mad, and it had everything to do with him getting married. I wanted him, and she didn’t deserve him. I got dressed and walked out when I heard Mike and Daniel make catcalls. I flipped them off and could tell that they both knew I was upset.

  I got in my car and left, not even thinking that Mike had rode out with me. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I needed to make all these feelings and thoughts stop.

  Chapter 17

  Kiss Me

  After half an hour of driving around in the country, with my phone off, I found Ron’s house.

  The door was open this time, and I walked right in. As always, there were a lot of people crowded in the little room. I looked down, trying to keep a low profile as I heard a couple of people say “hi.” I nodded back, realizing I still had on all the stupid make-up and crap from the video. I saw a guy I recognized and knew he was the one to help me find Ron. I walked over to him, not knowing what to say; he grabbed my elbow and led me to the bedroom. He motioned for me to sit on a chair in the corner before leaving me in the room by myself. The room seemed darker than the last time I had been here. I wondered if that had to do with Amber being gone.