Danni to Pieces: Book One: Forced

by L. T. Varner

  Ron walked through the door and said, “Well, hello stranger. I was wondering when I would see you again.” He got right in my face and eyed me up and down, saying, “You look like a stripper. Want to give me a private show?”

  I rolled my eyes and said, “That isn’t why I’m here, Ron, I’m sure you know that.”

  “I had to ask. I know why you’re here. But I can always hope for more,” he said, looking more at my chest than at my face. “Have you heard from Amber or James?”

  “Not since the last time I saw you. You and Jackie a thing now?” I asked, mocking him.

  Ron laughed and said, “For now.” He slid his arms around my waist and continued. “What exactly are you trying to forget?”

  “Everything. Can you help me with that?” I said, pushing his arms away from me.

  “You like what I gave you last time?”

  I nodded at him before thinking maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. I had turned my life back around after everything that had happened. But rolling around on that stupid bed with Collin came back to the front of my mind.

  Ron opened a closet after getting keys out of his pocket and said, “I have exactly what you need. Open your hand.”

  I walked over to him and was taken back seeing what I assumed was tons of illegal drugs. I held out my hand as he turned toward me and dropped three little white pills into my palm.

  “What is it?” I asked, wondering if that was enough.

  “Does it matter, Danni? It will take care of you. I don’t have what you got last time, so this will have to do. I can let you know when I get the other stuff,” he said as he locked the closet door.

  I took the pills, leaving one for later as I shoved it in my back pocket. “How much do I owe you?”

  He suddenly became all business, talking prices, quality, and value. He appeared very proud of himself. I pulled a couple of hundred-dollar bills from my pocket and held them out to him.

  He smiled and said, “You know we could make another arrangement if you want.” He put his arms around me and tried to kiss me.

  I pulled back and seethed, “Let go of me. I have no intentions of any sexual favors. Ever!”

  He didn’t let go of me. Instead, he backed me into a corner and said, “Come on, Danni. I’ll make it quick.”

  I shoved him away successfully as he had started unbuttoning my shirt. I didn’t have a bra on and had no intention of showing him anything. He finally gave up and smiled at me, whispering, “maybe next time.” He took the money out of my hand, and I quickly headed for the door. I climbed back in my car and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to ever come back.

  I didn’t have any idea where to go or what to do. I was in the mood to party and decided to go to town and see what I could find. Wow, I thought, I feel great. I was completely relaxed and easily forgot about Collin and all that crap. I had found a half-full bottle of whiskey that Mike had left in the car. Even better.

  As I got into town, I drove by the sleazy strip bar that I had never stopped at before. Lots of motorcycles were sitting out front. What the hell? I’m here, and I wouldn’t mind seeing a naked woman. Sure, we women could be catty and jealous, but I still appreciated a beautiful body, male or female. I liked both and wasn’t ashamed of it. I pulled into the parking lot and went in to have a drink, stumbling a little bit before I made it to the door. Perhaps I had had enough . . . Nope, I’m still conscious.

  I opened the door and quickly realized that it was one of those bars where you walked in, and everyone turned and stared at you. I was no exception. I ignored them, sat at the bar, and ordered a whiskey.

  An older man placed the whiskey in front of me and said, “Drinks are free if you want to get up on stage and show us that sexy little body of yours, sweetie.”

  I slid a twenty across the bar. He could tell by the look on my face the answer was “no.”

  An hour later I was on my third drink and barely functioning when I saw Jackie on the stage taking off her clothes. I thought to myself, do I see this right? She made eye contact with me, looking just as surprised to see me. She smiled at me and continued dancing. I was impressed. She was beautiful naked. The things I could do to her . . .

  After the song had ended, Jackie got her clothes on and came and sat by me. I could tell she did not approve of my current condition.

  “Danni, what are you doing here? You’re drunk and practically falling off the bar stool. Can I call Mike to get you?” she asked, leaning against me.

  “Better question. What are you doing here?” I slurred, looking more at her boobs than at her face.

  She said, “That’s not important. You’ve had enough to drink.” She started taking my glass away, and I grabbed it back from her.

  “I could never have too much to drink, Jackie,” I yelled at her before pushing her back.

  I noticed she was looking at someone behind me, and suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder.

  “Is there a problem here, lady?”

  “No. Quit fucking touching me or I will beat your ass, buddy,” I yelled at him while removing his hand.

  He smiled at me and said, “Hey now, Tiger, maybe we could party alone.”

  I have no idea what caused me to lose all my self-control at that moment, and I punched him as hard as I could, right in the face. Blood started spraying out of his nose as Jackie jumped up.

  She yelled at me, “Danni, you need to get some help. You are out of control.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” I yelled before I turned my back to them and sat down again at the bar. I went back to my drink as she helped the guy.

  About ten minutes later another tap on my shoulder. Seriously, people, just leave me alone.

  While turning around, I asked, “What the hell do you want now?”

  I was horrified when I saw two state troopers standing in front of me. Ok, maybe I had gone too far this time.

  “Ma’am, can we have a word with you outside?” the taller one asked as I watched Jackie walk up to us.

  “Okay,” I said, attempting to stand up. Both the troopers grabbed me before I fell.

  “That is exactly what we thought,” the trooper said as they both helped me outside.

  “How much you had to drink tonight, Danni?” the younger trooper asked.

  “I wasn’t counting, so why don’t you tell me?”

  Apparently you don’t joke with the troopers. They didn’t seem to share in my humor at all.

  “Okay, tough crowd. If you two idiots will excuse me, I am going to go now. I will catch up with you later,” I said as I tried to turn around and walk away.

  They shoved me face-first into the wall and wasted no time putting handcuffs on me.

  “It would be best if you went with us instead. You are under arrest for public intoxication and assault…so far. Let’s not add to those charges, okay?” The troopers then walked me to the patrol car and put me in the back seat.

  I had never been arrested before. I had never even had a speeding ticket before. I realized I still had a pill in my jean pocket and thought, this could be interesting. Maybe I should get rid of it?

  It was hard to get to it without letting on to what I was doing, having handcuffs on made it even more challenging. I finally got the pill out of my pocket and tucked it into the seat.

  Twenty minutes later, after taking statements, they took me to the police station. They did all the usual stuff: fingerprints, mug shots, and a full body search. A guard asked if I wanted to call someone. I asked if I had to and they said no. The funny part of this whole mess was that the police station was only about four blocks from the bar. They took me to an empty cell, took off the handcuffs, and told me to sleep it off.

  I lay down on the bunk and tried to close my eyes. The room spun around me when all of the memories of rolling around with Collin came flooding back to me. I couldn’t help but replay the way he felt, the way he kissed me, and the way he touched me. I just wanted him, and I ha
ted both of us for that. I wanted to be the one he was marrying, the one he went home to. This is not me! What was so special about him anyway? Ugh . . . I wished I had never met him.

  The sun was filtering into the cell as a guard was yelling at me to wake up because I was being released. I groaned, opening my eyes as I slowly sat up and tried to compose myself. The room wouldn’t stop spinning. I felt like hell and probably looked like hell, too. I started to wonder to myself if I was getting too old for this crap.

  I was not anxious to see who had bailed me out as the guard walked me to the counter and started taking off the handcuffs. I heard two people laughing hysterically and had a feeling who it was. I didn’t even turn around to look at them.

  The guard gave me my shoes, coat, and a plastic bag with what had been in my pockets when they arrested me. I flinched when he took the handcuffs off. My right hand was throbbing. Looking down, I noticed it was black and blue with dried blood all over my fingers and knuckles. Ah, yes. I suddenly remembered punching that guy. That was dumb.

  As I put my shoes and coat on, the guard told me to sign the papers stating when my court date was and told me I was free to go. Finally, I turned and headed for the door.

  I knew that Mike and Daniel were still laughing at me while they followed me out. I would have probably hit them if my hand hadn’t hurt so much. I stopped on the top step when I saw my SUV sitting at the curb. Jackie must have called Mike. I started walking toward it when Mike and Daniel both grabbed me around my arms.

  Mike said, “I think you have someone and something to deal with.”

  They walked me to my SUV and Daniel opened the passenger door to help me in. They shut the door, and I looked over and saw Collin in the driver’s seat. I could tell he was mad and maybe a little more furious than I think I had ever seen him.

  “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Just take me home,” I said. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

  From the direction he drove us I knew home is not where he intended to take me. We sat in silence for a little bit when he turned into the schoolhouse driveway.

  All the vehicles and people from earlier were gone, no one was there but Collin and me. He parked in front of the incomplete new steps leading up to the door and got out. He then walked over to my side and opened the door, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the SUV. He dragged me with him into the schoolhouse as I yelled at him to let go because he was hurting me. He ignored me and led me into the school. We were standing in the gym before he finally let go of me.

  He just stood there with his back to me with his hands on his head. After ten minutes of the silent treatment, I mumbled, “Whatever,” and started walking down the hall toward the front door. He grabbed my arm, spun me around, and started kissing me. I tried to push him away, but he put his arms around me and held me tighter. I finally gave up and kissed him back.

  A very passionate make-out session later, he pulled away with his face still close to mine and his hands on my cheeks. Neither one of us said anything. I finally looked up at him and could tell that he was as confused as I was. This made me feel like the worst person on the planet.

  I said the only thing that I could right then, “Collin, I am in love with you.”

  I leaned toward him and tried to kiss him again, and he just held me back with his grip on my hair. I stood there looking at him, thinking, you just kissed me, and now you’re stopping me? He turned and started walking back toward the gym. Do I let him go or what?

  I yelled, “What the hell do you want from me?”

  He immediately stopped without turning around.

  I started walking toward him shouting, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about you! You are all I think about. I want every part of you. I want to be the one you marry!”

  There it was. My true feelings on the table, scaring the hell out of him and me both. I had finally said exactly what I had wanted to say to him, and now he wouldn’t even look at me. He just stood there with his back to me for the longest time. I heard the front doors open and saw Daniel and Mike walking toward us. I wiped the tears from my face before they could see them. When they noticed Collin at the other end of the hall, Daniel put his hands up.

  “What is going on here?” Daniel asked in a more serious tone than was normal for him.

  “Nothing is happening. Mike, please take me home. I have officially had enough of all this crap,” I muttered, trying to contain the lump in my throat.

  Mike said, “Sure, let’s go.”

  I gave Daniel a quick hug before he took off down the hall toward Collin.

  As soon as we got in the car, I started crying.

  Sniffling I said, “I don’t know what to do.”

  Mike squeezed my hand and, trying to lighten the mood, said, “Well, maybe not getting arrested would be a step in the right direction.”

  Chapter 18

  Lower Than I Thought

  The next couple days were quiet. I went to the doctor regarding my hand, and he assured me that nothing was broken. Mike and I had talked in great detail about what had happened that night. He and Daniel hadn’t even stayed to watch the video shoot because they had a feeling it was a bad idea. It was something Collin had come up with all on his own. Daniel was mad about it because Collin had always told him “no” to having girls in their videos before. I guess I was the exception. I told Mike that I did feel better after I finally expressed all my feelings out loud to Collin.

  All the work pertaining to my dad and Collin’s collaboration were done. Maybe I wouldn’t have to see him ever again. Of course, I wanted to see Daniel, although I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to him. I had told him over the phone that I was mad about the way he had left town. He apologized and promised he would see me soon.

  Things were slow at the bar. The schoolhouse would be ready in a couple of months and, for the moment, things were once again normal.

  I had managed to quit crying and obsessing over Collin. Mike and I got to the point where we were trying not to bring him up anymore.

  My court date finally came. With Dad’s expensive lawyer, I managed to get time served with six months’ probation. Dad had told him just to make it go away, hoping the papers hadn’t caught any of my latest troubles. I swore to my dad I would never do it again. He only laughed at the idea of me staying out of trouble. The one thing that did suck, the guy I punched knew who my dad was. He ended up suing me for damages and medical expenses and the lawyers quickly settled that, as well. I agreed because it was my fault and I did feel sorry for hitting the guy.

  After all, that was settled, Mike and I decided we needed a vacation. It had been three years since we had taken one together. We decided to go to Mexico and sit on the beach for two weeks, soaking up the sun and relaxing.

  It was beautiful when we landed in Cancún and even better to be around strangers. Mike and I both spoke Spanish, so it was easy to talk to the locals and get around.

  Of course, we kept sending Daniel pictures teasing him that we were having more fun than he was. They had gone back out on tour, and he didn’t seem to have time for anything other than work, so we tried to make him jealous. He would text me back right away and one time told me to “quit it with the pictures” or he was going to leave the band and come to us. We knew he was joking, but it was fun to mess with him. I also noticed Mike was on his phone a lot and had even made comments about it. He finally admitted that he and Mark were going to try to work things out and give it another shot. I was happy for him and told him that one of us deserved some happiness. Yes, and maybe I was feeling a little lonely myself.

  One night, while sitting on the beach leaning against each other, watching the waves crash against the shore with drinks in hand Mike said, “If we make it to forty with no kids, we should have them together.”

  That thought totally took me by surprise. We had never mentioned kids in either of our lives before.

  “I thought you didn’t like kids,” I said, leani
ng back to look at him as he watched the ocean.

  “No, you’re the one that doesn’t like kids,” he said, looking back at me.

  “I don’t mind kids. But no one wants kids with me. If you do, then that’s good enough for me. You have a deal. If we make it to forty with no children, we will have them together,” I said, leaning over and kissing him on the lips, both of us smiling like idiots.

  I knew people walking by us assumed we were a couple kissing and touching each other, but this was normal for us. We didn’t make out with each other, but a quick kiss on the lips was what we had always done, and it was comfortable to us.

  Our vacation was over as we were sitting in the airport waiting for our flight home when I got out my laptop. I started checking my email when I saw that Daniel had sent me something. Probably another video of him drumming during one of their shows. He sent them all the time.

  To: Danni B.

  From: Danielbeatsdrums

  Subject: You naked

  I thought you would want to see this before it is released. You might want to watch it alone because it is hot dirty girl!

  Mike leaned over and asked, “What are you looking at?”

  “I’m not sure. Something Daniel sent, so it is probably dirty or him playing his drums. Hopefully, not together,” I said, laughing before handing Mike my laptop.

  “What the hell is he talking about?” he asked, reading the message.

  “I don’t know. It’s hard to tell with sweet, dirty Daniel. I’m going to go to the bathroom before the flight.”

  I took my time in the stall, as though I were trying to delay the flight by sitting in a steel tube and praying we wouldn’t crash to the ground. I went back to Mike and noticed he had put the laptop away.