The Loctorian Chronicles- Awakening

by Andi J Feron

  The rest of our team was quarantined to their quarters, and the highly public areas like the rec center were closed. I sat by her bed and the monitors were the only way I knew she was alive. I was in a nightmare, and I really wanted to wake up. I rested my head against Seraphine’s bed, and my hand clasped her hand.

  Jasper walked in. “Talon, we’ve run extensive tests. I checked for all bacterial and viral infections that we know of, as well as any other signs of foreign ones. All came back negative I was baffled. But then we gave her an MRI, and I think we found the answer.”

  Something about Jasper’s tone scared me. I almost wanted to pretend that I didn’t hear him so I could live in the moment of thinking she would pull through. I looked up at him and saw that he wasn’t suited up. He motioned me over to a monitor. “This is Seraphine’s brain.” He pointed at the screen. “This guy here is not supposed to be there.”

  “She has a creature in her brain?” I was skeptical.

  “She has a brain parasite, and it’s affecting her central nervous system function. Her body tried to fight it at first, but now she’s not resisting.”

  “How would she have gotten this?”

  “When she was on the last mission and her leg was cut, the parasite probably swam into her bloodstream then.”

  “I washed and disinfected her leg before Helen sealed it up. I followed protocol.”

  “It was probably far into her bloodstream before you ever made it back to the ship,” Jasper said.

  “How do you fix it?”

  “We don’t. Every treatment I’ve tried has failed. I don’t think there’s anything we can do. The parasite is too embedded in her brain. Any attempt at removing it now will instantly kill her. She’s not passing the neurological exams, and her last scan wasn’t good.”

  “Come on, Jasper!” I pleaded with him. “Call the Loctorians. Fix my wife! You have to! You haven’t tried hard enough!” I ran over to Seraphine’s bed and grabbed her hand. “Baby, you have to fight. Please, baby, fight!”

  “I need you to sign a consent form to stop treatment and nourishment. Let her pass with dignity,” Jasper spoke gently.

  “Why would I do that?!” I exploded.

  “Talon, Seraphine is brain-dead. She’s already gone.”

  “You’re wrong! We were talking this morning. She was talking to me. She laughed with me and smiled. Hours ago!”

  Jasper ordered me to go home to contemplate what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to leave her, but he made it an official order. He promised me she would be okay until I got back, nothing could be done without my consent. I even asked him about Helen healing her, but Jasper said the injury was too extensive for Helen’s level. He said it would put Helen at too high of a risk for an improbable possibility. There were no healers high-level enough to take care of the parasite and restore Seraphine’s brain function.

  I walked into my quarters and saw the blue walls she painted for my birthday. Every bit of our quarters was an aspect that Seraphine had poured herself into. Shakespeare greeted me, and our conversation from earlier didn’t seem so amusing anymore. I decided to take a shower and went to grab new clothes.

  I noticed our bed was still unmade. Seraphine hated it when we left the bed a mess; not only did it not look nice, she said, but it made for a bigger task to sort the covers the next time we climbed into it. I went around to make her side and saw where she had been only hours ago. I couldn’t bring myself to straighten the evidence of her earlier presence. I collapsed on the ground and cried. Shakespeare came and curled up beside me.

  “You can tell I’m dying, too, can’t you, buddy?”

  I got up and took a shower. I sat on my couch, wanting to get back to Seraphine but not wanting to see Jasper. He would want an answer, and I didn’t want to let her go yet. I didn’t want to ever let her go. My door buzzed, and I went to answer it. Fayard, Ajax, and Elliott were standing there, and I let them in. We sat for a few minutes in silence.

  “We heard about Seraphine. We are so very sorry,” Fayard said.

  “We stopped by to let you know we’re here for whatever you need. You focus on yourself and Seraphine, and we’ll handle everything else,” Ajax said.

  Each of them gave me a hug before leaving. I pet Shakespeare’s head. I took one last look around knowing that, upon signing the consent form, I would never be bringing my wife home again. I opened the door and shut it behind me, starting the long walk to sickbay. I rounded the corner to the elevator and stopped dead in my tracks. Lucius stood in front of the elevator. Now was not the time to rehash him strangling Seraphine.

  “Before you pulverize me, Talon, hear me out. I heard about Seraphine, and I’m here to help,” Lucius said. “I saw the alert for Saturn base being locked down. When I dug deeper, I discovered it was because Seraphine was sick. When I got here, my intel source told me that she was declared brain dead and I knew I could help.”

  “You can help by getting the hell out of here.” I controlled my anger as I spoke.

  “I can save her.” He stated it as though it should be followed by a grand procession. I wanted to punch him in the face and ignore whatever he said, but that was outweighed by the fact I would do anything to save my wife.

  “Why would you do that? And what do you want in return?”

  “Whether you believe it or not, I love Seraphine,” he said.

  “You’re right, I don’t believe it.”

  “Well, I do, and I don’t want her to die.”

  “Yeah, really seemed like it when you were strangling the life out of her.”

  “That was a momentary lapse in judgment. And I don’t want anything in return. You don’t have to believe me, but if you don’t trust me a bit here, Seraphine will die.”

  He had a point. Jasper made it clear that Seraphine was already gone. There was nothing for me to lose by trusting him.

  “Okay, how?” I asked.

  “I can get the parasite to leave her brain. I brought a little something back with me from a planet I was stationed at. I had done some treaty negotiations for them, and they owed me. They have created the only known brain regenerator. It won’t restore life if a person is already dead, but it will reactivate and restore a brain that has lost function, as is the case with Seraphine. It will give her back full brain function. There are possible side effects, though.”

  “What are they?”

  “Her personality may be different, and she may only have some or none of her memories, but she’ll be alive and have a normal level of functioning. She may also experience narcolepsy, but it resolves itself within two to three months from onset.”

  I would have to worry about all of that later. Right now, she needed to live. I walked to sickbay with Lucius, and he radioed someone at the docking bay to bring his machine. We walked in together, and I think Jasper almost fell over from shock. Lucius told him the plan. Jasper said it was worth a shot since there was nothing else he could do to help my wife.

  He told me not to get my hopes up, and if it didn’t work we would have to go back to our previous discussion. I guessed that there was some doctor code about not letting patients’ families build up false hope. Lucius set up his machine and whispered into Seraphine’s ear. A strong aversion flowed through my body at the sight of Lucius so close to my wife. It took immense will power to hold myself back.

  “What did you say?” I asked.

  “I told the parasite to leave her without hurting her, and it did.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Come see.”

  I looked at her pillow and saw a long, blue, worm-like creature squirming in a small puddle of blood. The creature was very thin but had to be around seven inches in length. Jasper came over with some gloves and put it in a jar.

  Lucius studied his machine. “It’s time. Bring her over.”

  A nurse helped me disconnect her from wires and unhook her IV. I carried her close to me. Her hair still smelled like lavender. I breathed in the scent, praying
this wouldn’t be the last time. I placed her gently in the machine, and Lucius shut the lid. The machine looked like a silver tanning bed, and blue lights flashed over the top as we waited. Lucius said it would take a couple hours, and I sat in a chair staring off at the peach-colored wall in front of me. After about two and a half hours, the machine alarmed and I jumped up.

  “Don’t worry, that means the process is finished.” Lucius moved over to the machine.

  “How long until we know if it worked?” I asked.

  “As soon as I lift the lid.”

  He pushed some controls, and the lid lifted. Seraphine moved her arms and opened her eyes. Jasper moved his scanner over her.

  “Amazing! Brain function is at a normal level. Seraphine, do you know where you are?” Jasper asked.

  She shook her head.

  I looked at Lucius. “Thank you.”

  Lucius nodded, then left the room. Seraphine attempted to sit up but couldn’t quite make it.

  Jasper stood by her bed. “Bring her over.”

  I picked her up and carried her back to bed. I put her bed to a semi-sitting position so she would quit trying to sit up.

  “Can you tell me your name?” Jasper asked.

  She shook her head again, and I became concerned. Three questions later, and it was clear her memory was entirely gone. My heart sank. Jasper kept her in sickbay for another three days, then he told me to take her home in the hopes that it would jog her memory. She looked at me like I was a stranger. When we entered our quarters, she looked around like she was taking in new surroundings.

  “You have a cat?” She bent down to pet him.

  “Yeah, his name is Shakespeare.”

  “That’s a nice name.”

  I looked in the fridge. “You hungry?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is pasta okay? I haven’t been to the warehouse in a few days.”

  “Sure.” She frowned. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “Why am I here?”

  “You live here.”

  “With you?”

  “Yes, we’re married.”

  I didn’t know how to treat my wife like I just met her. I didn’t know how to not grab her and kiss her. I didn’t know how to not tell her that losing her was the deepest pain I’d ever felt. So I made pasta and ate dinner silently with her. I showed her to her room, and I slept in the guest room. She had made the guest room up for Allie, and I hadn’t taken it well. I lay surrounded by purple, not knowing how we were going to get through this.

  A month went by with us living like strangers. I kept my distance to avoid making her uncomfortable, but I made sure she had everything she needed. She would often fall asleep suddenly, and I tried to keep a close eye on her for this reason. It became a balance between trying not to be intrusive and keeping her safe.

  I contacted Lucius to see if there was any way she could get her memory back. He told me that the mental function shown within the first hour was what the patient was left with. This meant that the memory loss was permanent. He told me that she would have to start over with new memories.

  Part of me wondered if that was the main reason Lucius helped. He was most likely reveling in the fact that Seraphine no longer carried a single memory of her life with me. I felt angry and guilty all at the same time. I was mad she had forgotten everything we had together, yet I felt guilty I wasn’t content with her simply being alive.

  Our friends would drop by, but Seraphine wouldn’t say much to them. She didn’t know who they were. She would go out every day and meet new people that neither of us had ever interacted with before. My heart ached for her, and she was right next to me.

  One night insomnia was hanging out with me which had become the norm. Seraphine screamed. I flew into her room and saw she was writhing as if in pain.

  “Talon!” she screamed. She was fast asleep. It was the first time she said my name since she got sick. I didn’t know whether to touch her or not, but as I was contemplating she bolted upright, wide awake. “Talon, you were dead!” Before she got sick, she had a recurring dream about me dying. She never gave me the details, but I knew by what she cried in her sleep that was what it was about.

  She flew for me, and I held her in my arms. After she calmed, I asked her if she was okay, and she nodded. I turned to go back to the guest bedroom but she grabbed my hand. “Talon, stay. Why were you leaving?”

  “To go back to bed.”

  She frowned. “This is our bed.”

  “I know, but you don’t remember that. I’m not going to stay unless you’re comfortable.”

  “You’re being silly Ace. Come to bed. We need to get some sleep if we’re going to go on our trip.”

  “Seraphine, what day is it?”

  She glanced at the clock and gave the day of our trip over a month ago. I shook my head. I called Jasper, and he examined her. Together we told her what had transpired over the last month. She looked shocked, but once everyone confirmed our stories she had little choice but to believe us. We laid in bed, and I held her tightly to my chest. All the sadness of the last month washed away with the warmth of her bare skin pressed against me.

  “Two things I’m struggling with,” she said.

  “What’s that?” I kissed the top of her head.

  “Lucius saved my life and says he doesn’t want anything in return. And how in the world could I forget the reason I breathe. How could I forget you?”

  “The important thing is I was still there. It’s more like you misplaced me temporarily.”

  Over the next few weeks, Seraphine regained her memories, all except for the incident itself and the month and a half that followed. That was fine, I remembered enough for the both of us. I remembered what it was like to be told she was gone and never coming back. I watched her washing the counters, caught up in how breathtaking she was. I remembered my parents saying that to each other the day my mom died. I gave my dad no excuses for exiting life, but more than ever before I understood his inability to live a life without my mother.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Seraphine - February 3, 2010

  I found it strange that over a month of my life was missing. I would catch Talon watching me as if I might vanish if he blinked. I still struggled with extremely vivid dreams of his death therefor, in some capacity, I understood. Jerap left me with three gifts at his passing.

  The first two were his cat Shakespeare and the paralyzing fear that my husband could take his last breath at any moment. I was always aware of this, but it was one of those things you put in the back of your mind. You forget about the fact everyone you care about is mortal. It was both tortuous and sobering, leaving me with the sense that the time I had with Talon was precious.

  I believed I finally understood Jerap’s words about attaching some sort of mental anchor to the visions he showed me. Lucius told Talon the memory loss was permanent, but the moment I finally experienced that nightmare again, my memory was restored. Jerap’s final gift to me was making sure I got my entire life back.

  I sat drinking coffee and reading the report on the war. The Khalbytians won a vital sector, and the Loctorian fleet was struggling to recover. We were making progress two solar systems over, and that area was now ninety percent controlled by Loctorians. I had been thinking more about the other future Jerap had shown me. The one where Talon and I had kids.

  I never contemplated kids before, mainly because the war was my main focus for several years now. Seeing our kids brought the fact Talon and I didn’t have any to surface. Seeing ourselves in those tiny humans made me long for that to be reality. Talon came out of the bathroom after his morning shower. I always liked the way his brown hair bounced up after he took a shower; it always smelled incredible, though I didn’t have a name for the scent. It was merely what I thought of as unique to Talon.

  When he was gone, I would smell his pillow and pretend he was next to me. I would snuggle the pillow to help me sleep. Being declared brain
-dead afforded me extended leave so I hadn’t been on any missions in about three months. Talon stayed home a couple weeks after I got most of my memory back, but his high-level tracking skills were soon needed.

  Talon looked over my shoulder. “What are you reading?”

  “The weekly war report. Good and bad in it.”

  He reached down and kissed me. He was wearing only his boxers. I loved studying his chest, it was beautiful right down to the scars it bore. I kissed him again, and he went back to the bedroom to get dressed. When he came back out, he was wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans. He came and sat down on the couch, and I laid my feet across his legs. He grabbed the remote.

  Before he turned the TV on I said, “Talon, have you ever thought about kids?”

  “What kids?”

  “Ours?”

  He put the remote down and looked at me. “Are you…” He hesitated.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Oh, good.” He picked up the remote again.

  “Why do you say that’s good? You mean if I were pregnant you’d be upset?”

  “No. I mean, maybe.”

  I glared at him, and I could tell by the look he was sending me he probably knew he was in trouble.

  “You don’t want kids with me?”

  He stared at me for a few seconds, and I guessed he was debating his words carefully. “I guess I never thought about it.”

  “Would it be such a bad thing?”

  “Probably,” he said without hesitation.

  I instantly felt hurt and didn’t want to say something regrettable. I jumped off the couch and put my shoes on.

  “Seraphine, come on babe. Where are you going?”

  “I’ll be back. I need to think.”

  I met up with Helen and Petra in the mess hall.

  “Why would you want to have kids anyway? Your body will never go back to the way it was.” Petra bit into another French fry.

  Helen used her chopsticks to pick up some noodles. “You and Talon would make beautiful babies, Seraphine.”