The Loctorian Chronicles- Awakening

by Andi J Feron

  “Thank you, Helen.” I agreed with her not out of vanity but because I’d already seen them. I continued talking, “I mean, it’s not even like I want them right now. I only want to know if he can see it as a possibility. You should have seen the look on his face when he thought I brought it up because I was pregnant. It was like I was about to tell him the worst news in the world.”

  Helen wiped her mouth with her napkin. “Maybe he’s scared.”

  “I’m sure he is. He always feels completely responsible for every situation. Having a baby to worry about probably terrifies him.”

  “Maybe you should let me borrow him for the night. I’ll wipe that tension he always carries right out of his body. Then he’ll be so relaxed he won’t mind putting a baby in you.” Petra spoke like that was a valid idea.

  She was met with my eyes narrowed in anger at her.

  Helen shook her head. “You’re not helping, Petra.”

  Petra dipped her fries in ketchup. “Come on. What do you expect when your husband is literally the hottest man on base? Do you have any idea the level of hotness your husband is at?”

  I continued to glare at her. “Yes, I have some idea, yeah.”

  “You think he’ll never get bored with you? He could have any woman on base. Well, the ones that like men anyway. I know, I’ve talked to many of them,” Petra said.

  “You talk to other women about sleeping with my husband?”

  “Yes, and they are all in agreement he’s the most eligible bachelor. Or, well, he would be.”

  “Petra! You suck as a friend.” I got up and stormed out of the rec center even more upset than when I arrived.

  Helen followed after me. “Seraphine, wait up. You know Petra, she doesn’t have any tact.”

  “She steps too far most of the time. She does have a point. What if Talon doesn’t ever want to have kids with me? What if it becomes this big deal that neither of us can get past? Petra is right, Talon could have any woman on base.”

  “Even if that were true, he doesn’t want any other woman. He wants you. Don’t you ever see the way he watches you? He only wants you, and no other woman is going to come close. As for the kid thing, I guess you’ll have to decide together what your deal-breakers are.”

  I went back to my quarters to find Talon. Petra’s words jolted me, as I thought of women on base pining for him, waiting for the minute him and I split up. I walked into my quarters. The guys were all watching a football game and cheering loudly as one of the teams made a touchdown. There were snacks strewn about, and all but Talon were enjoying some beer. Talon never drank, not even a small sip. Slipping into alcoholism was a fear that kept him disciplined from even social drinking. He said he feared the minute he used alcohol to feel better about a problem would be the minute he would have trouble not becoming a slave to it.

  Looking around at the guys enjoying a Sunday afternoon game made me realize if they were on Earth, they would probably be doing this exact thing. Ajax, Fayard, and Elliott were squished together on our couch while Talon sat in his recliner. He rarely sat in his recliner because, when I was with him, he said that he wanted to be next to me, so we always sat on the couch. The guys looked up as I came in.

  Ajax waved. “Hey, Seraphine.”

  “I made a few dips and some cookies if you want any,” Elliott said.

  “Thanks,” I said softly.

  “How are you feeling?” Fayard asked.

  “I’ve been good. Thank you Fayard.”

  I went over to the dips, not missing a chance to try Elliott’s food. I was on my fifth chip when I caught Talon studying me. He looked away when he saw I noticed. He knew I was upset, and he never handled that well. He always pushed to have our arguments fixed immediately while I wanted time to process them. I ate a cookie and headed to my bedroom, a little tired.

  I was lacking full energy since being brought back from the dead. For the first few weeks, I would fall asleep suddenly wherever I was, no matter what I was doing. Jasper diagnosed me with narcolepsy but told me it was probably a temporary side effect of my recovering brain. It was slowly improving, but Jasper said that it would probably take some time, which was why I was still on medical leave.

  I fell into a deep sleep. This time, instead of the nightmare of Talon’s death, I dreamt of our kids. It was Christmas morning, and they were opening presents. The little one hopped up on Talon’s lap so he could help her put her new toy together. I soaked in every minute of watching him with her. I woke up and glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning, and I had slept for nine hours. Talon was asleep next to me.

  I got up and went to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and located a pint of ice cream. It was pistachio, which was my favorite flavor. I realized Talon must have picked it up for me, he was always doing small things like that without me saying anything. I grabbed a spoon and began to empty the container. I sat down on the couch and turned on the small lamp next to the sofa. I began to read the book he had left on the coffee table.

  He was always reading something, although he told me Allie read a lot more than he ever did. I found that hard to believe. Between the two of them, they probably contained the entire universe’s knowledge. I set the ice cream on the stand as reading made me sleepy again. I laid my head on a couch pillow and drifted back to sleep.

  When I woke up, I saw Talon making breakfast. I took a deep breath, wanting to take in the sweet smell of pancake batter cooking on the griddle. I saw the ice cream had regrettably melted on the stand next to me. I carried it to the trash.

  “You feeling alright?” Talon asked. He acted even more worried than he used to. Any slight sneeze and he had a tissue in my hand and his palm on my forehead. I was hoping he would take his guard down about my health sometime soon.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Needed sleep, I guess.”

  “Take whatever you need. I’m sorry about yesterday. I was talking to the guys, and Elliott told me a lot of women need to have a baby. He said I should give it some thought before you decide to find someone else who is willing to fulfill that need for you. So if you want to have a baby, let’s have a baby.” As hard as he tried, I could tell he fought to force the last part from his mouth.

  “Not wanting to lose me is a horrible reason to have a baby. You’ll come to resent the baby and me. I don’t want to have a baby.”

  “You don’t?” I felt bad at the confused look he gave me.

  “No, I want your baby. I want our daughters and son.”

  “You want more than one?” His voice cracked.

  “Not now, but someday. I wanted to know that maybe someday you would consider it.”

  “Oh, don’t get upset, but the thought of us having a baby is scary for me. I raised my sister, and there is so much you have no clue if you are doing right. I have to worry about something bad happening to her. I have to worry about her making the right choices.

  “I have to worry that boys will see how beautiful she is and talk her into something she’s not ready for, something I’m not ready for. Add that to worrying about her being pulled into an alien war and that’s a heavy load to duplicate. My brother Malcom, he was always a natural at the big brother thing. I sometimes think that if he had been the one to survive, he wouldn’t have messed up with Allie as much as I have.”

  “Are you kidding me, Talon? There’s no way that’s even possible, and Allie knows it. She always has. That’s why she wrote it on that clay turtle you keep on your desk. I get your points. Parenthood is terrifying, you know that way more than I do. But I hope there will come a time when things are right and good for us, and we realize the good of having kids outweighs any negatives. I’m never leaving you, Talon. You’re stuck with me. Even if you never want a baby, I want you.”

  “Let’s table it for now. Not forever, but for now.”

  “Fair enough.”

  We enjoyed our pancakes, and a lazy morning spent simply enjoying each other’s presence.

  Chapter Eighteen

 
Seraphine - March 6, 2010

  I reread the letter. I wanted to rip it up, but I needed the information on it. I was shaky and couldn’t see straight. Years had transpired, but I wasn’t over what my father had done. I almost lived the same story as my mother—having my life cut short by a man who hit me and said he loved me in the same breath. I wished my mother could have found her escape.

  Talon walked in, “You feeling up to game night? I told the team that maybe we could keep it low key. Card games and nothing too strenuous.”

  “No.” I didn’t look up at him. I gripped the letter tightly, resisting the urge to shred it.

  “You okay?” Talon walked around the couch to face me. “You’re not okay. What’s wrong?” I handed him the letter, and he read it aloud. “Jack Mallow is up for parole. Is that your dad?”

  “Yes.”

  “You never told me what he did, just that he was in prison.”

  “He beat my mother to death with a crowbar.”

  Talon’s eyes went wide. “I thought your mom died in an accident?”

  “That’s what I tell everyone because the truth freaks people out. I don’t like talking about it.”

  Talon sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so sorry.”

  “They want to let him go. It hasn’t even been thirteen years and they want to set him free. They want to give him his life back. My mother won’t ever have her life back.” I sniffled and Talon held me tighter.

  After we sat on the couch for a while, Talon read the letter further and said, “It says you can testify to the parole board. I fully support whatever you want to do here. If you want to go testify, I’ll go with you, if you want me to.”

  “Let me think about it.”

  “Alright. I’m going to make dinner. What do you want?” He glanced at the kitchen.

  “I’m kind of tired. I think I want to shower and go to bed.”

  After my shower, Talon came to bed with me, and I knew he probably wasn’t even tired. Everyone else I had ever been close to scared me; even to the ones I was physical with, the ones who would hold me close to them, I found myself guarded and jumpy around. I was constantly wondering what they were going to do next. Lucius used to hurt me, but when I would pull away he would tell me to lighten up. He made me feel like something was wrong with me because I didn’t want him to hurt me.

  With Talon I knew that I was safe. I could fall into him and he would never do anything to make me want to pull away from him. His arms were what I longed for, and his embrace never filled me with dread. I could be whoever I wanted to be with him and not worry he would be gone or hurt me if I didn’t like what he did.

  We fell asleep, and in the morning I knew what I had to do. I needed to testify and keep my father locked away. Not only for what he had done, but to save the next woman he would charm into enduring his torture. I told Talon at breakfast and accepted his offer to come with me. I knew that it would drain me emotionally, and I would need him there.

  I was still on leave, so getting time off wouldn’t be an issue for me. Talon took a lot of time off when I got sick and to see Allie, but Admiral Parks granted his request when, with my permission, he told her what was going on. Our shuttle landed and we took a plane to Texas, where my father was being held.

  We drove to the facility where the meeting was taking place. Since Talon was my husband, he was allowed to go in with me. The room was smaller than I expected and contained a long table with several people already sitting around it. There were two microphones behind a podium at the far end of the room. We were directed where to sit, and Talon clasped my hand. I was shaking and held his hand tightly. He let go of my hand and put his arm around my waist.

  He whispered in my ear, “If you start to feel scared look at me, not him. See that I love you, and when this is over, I’m the one you’re leaving with.”

  I nodded and leaned against him. I didn’t know why I was so scared. I knew my dad couldn’t hurt me anymore. Officers brought him in, handcuffed and wearing a suit and tie. His brown hair was almost entirely grey now, and his face was scruffy, like he forgot to shave for a couple days.

  When it got to my turn, the clerk announced me as Seraphine Cooper. I stood up, still shaky, and made my way to the front. I locked eyes with him, and he looked surprised. He hadn’t seen me since I was seven. He looked like a broken man, no longer the terrifying entity that reared itself in my dreams every so often.

  One of the board members asked me, “Mrs. Cooper, what is your relationship to Mr. Mallow?”

  “I am his daughter.”

  “I understand you are here to object to Mr. Mallow’s release.”

  “Yes.”

  “Could you tell us why?”

  I felt fear creep forward. I glanced at Talon, took a deep breath, and told them exactly why my father couldn’t have his desired freedom.

  “I was seven. I came home from school, and Mr. Mallow was sitting in his chair, smoking. I asked him where my mother was because she usually met me at the bus stop. He nodded to the back room, and she was on the ground. I tried to wake her, but she didn’t wake up. I saw the crowbar next to her and blood smeared on our laminate floors. I laid down next to her because I didn’t know what else to do. He appeared in the doorway and told me to get away from her.

  “When I wouldn’t, he dragged me out of the room. I begged him to let me stay with her, but he remained silent and kept dragging me. He locked me in my room. I climbed out of my window and ran to my neighbors. I was pleading with her to help my mommy wake up. She saw me covered in blood and called 911. I never saw my mother again because my father beat her to death. This is why I am asking you not to release my father, so he’s never given another chance to hurt anyone else the way he hurt my mother.” A tear fell down my cheek.

  I saw what I didn’t expect, my father had tears in his eyes. He leaned over and whispered something to his lawyer. They talked for a moment.

  His lawyer stood up. “Mr. Mallow recedes his request for parole.”

  The hearing ended, and Talon held my hand as we walked out of the room. When we were completely out of my father’s sight, I paused and hugged Talon. I really needed him to hug me, and I felt the stress roll from my body as he held me. I released him when I noticed my dad’s lawyer walking toward us.

  His lawyer said, “Mrs. Cooper, your father has requested a meeting with you. He was hoping you would oblige since he has receded his parole request. I promise you will be safe.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”

  “You sure?” Talon asked and I nodded.

  Talon was asked to wait in the lobby, and his stiff jaw told me he wasn’t pleased about it. The lawyer led me down a hallway and into a small room. I sat in a chair and my father sat across from me. Up close he looked even more worn and broken than he did at the parole hearing. I refused to give him any sympathy.

  He smiled at me. “You remind me of how I remember her—a pretty little thing with those big green eyes and beautiful red hair. That’s what I first saw about her. I’m glad you look like her and didn’t take your looks from me.”

  I crossed my arms. “What do you want?”

  He leaned forward. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I know that isn’t enough to fix what I did to her, or to you, but it’s all I have.”

  I pressed my back against my folding chair. “You’re right, it isn’t enough. I want you to know I almost ended up with a man just like you. He almost beat me to death too. The only reason I lived was that the man I married stepped in and saved me. You made me think love hurts. You made me think that was what I should accept. That’s why I came here, so that you’re never given the chance to let anyone else believe that’s what love is.”

  “I hope one day you can forgive me. If I could go back and change that day I would.”

  “You would have to change the day you met her. She loved you. She had so little that a couple of flowers growing outside her window made her feel like she had the world. Tha
t was how little you let her have, and that’s how amazing her spirit was. You took that from this world. You took her from me. Maybe I can forgive eventually, but I can’t forget it. It’s not possible because it would mean forgetting her and everything I’ve learned.”

  “I’m glad you found a man who treats you right.”

  “I am too. I’m glad I found a man who is nothing like you and is everything you never were. I wish my mom could have found that.” I got up to leave.

  “Seraphine, I really am sorry.”

  I said nothing more and slipped out the door. Talon saw me and jumped up. He studied me but said nothing. He grabbed my hand and gently gave it a squeeze as we walked out of the building. We drove back to the closest base in silence.

  Before he ordered our return shuttle, I said, “I know you have to get back, but I need to do something before I leave Earth. I can do this one on my own.”

  “You sure? Parks would give me more time if I asked.”

  “I’m sure. Save your time off to see Allie, or for a time we can actually enjoy each other. I do need your help though.”

  “Anything you need.”

  I pulled out the only picture I had of my mother. I carried it with me everywhere except on missions. I had grabbed it before the police took me to social services. My mother looked young in the photo as she stood next to my grandmother.

  I handed him the picture. “This is my mother and her mother. I need you to track my grandma. I don’t know if she’s even alive but since I have time off, I think it’s time to find out.”

  He concentrated and went into tracker mode. “She’s in some sort of camping area. Here.” He grabbed my hand and transmitted her location to my mind. “You sure you’re up for this?” He looked worried, but he didn’t ask me not to go.

  “Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ll rest when I need to.”

  “Okay. If something changes and you need me at all, I’ll be back. I love you.”