Sand & Clay

by Sarah Robinson

  “No, I assume that he is still on tour. It’s irrelevant anyways since he is still dating that woman. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.” Caroline answered softly, feeling a catch in her throat as she remembered their brief romance.

  “So, you are happy with Turner then? You love him?” Her mom cocked her head to the side, looking inquisitively at her daughter. Caroline looked down, not meeting her mother's eyes, and paused for a moment. Before she could answer, Rosie walked into the room and announced that dinner was ready.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “When are you taking your exam, Caroline?” Her father asked her, passing a plate of sliced roast beef to her after placing some on his dish.

  “Soon. I think it's in three weeks or something like that.” Caroline said, shrugging and helping herself to some of the roast beef.

  “Something like that? Three weeks? Caroline, you don’t sound like you are taking this seriously at all. I did not spend thirty thousand dollars on law school for you to be-” John began lecturing her.

  “Oh, John, let’s not argue over dinner. This is our first time meeting Turner, we don’t need to bicker in front of him.” Elizabeth cut in, trying to stop the lecture before it even began.

  “Then when am I going to be able to talk to her about it, Beth? We spent thirty thousand dollars for her to go to law school and we can barely get a phone call, let alone a visit out of her. She has been supposedly studying for the exam for two years now but she doesn’t even know when it is? And it is only three weeks away? That sounds completely irresponsible and unprepared to me!” John argued with his wife, his voice escalating in volume.

  “Fine, fine. But let’s talk about it after dinner, okay?” Elizabeth put her hands up in surrender, exasperated.

  She grabbed the bottle of wine in the center of the table and refilled her glass, quickly taking a hardy sip. John nodded his head and muttered to himself and an awkward silence fell over the table. Caroline just wanted to crawl underneath the table and disappear at this point. She was so embarrassed that Turner was seeing this and she was so exhausted of having this same argument with her father again and again.

  “So, uhm, anyone been watching Giants this season? Quite the impressive quarterback they’ve got, right?” Turner cut the tension in an attempt to switch topics. Luckily, the Giants were an easy favorite for Caroline’s father and he immediately grabbed the bait. The rest of the meal went seamlessly as the men argued player statistics and forecasting football games and Caroline and her mother chatted about friends and local gossip.

  ~**~

  After the two couples finished dinner, Elizabeth excused herself to go to bed early complaining of a headache. Caroline felt guilty, knowing that arguing with her father always gave her mother a headache. This happened every time Caroline visited because for some reason, she could never please her father or be the daughter he was expecting her to be. At least, that is how she felt most of the time.

  Turner went to go take a shower and get changed for bed, leaving Caroline and her father alone to talk. The two headed out to the back deck that overlooked the garden and pool. Caroline was nursing a glass of wine and her father was on his fifth or sixth scotch but since this was usual for him, his tolerance kept him calm and collected.

  Caroline settled on a swinging bench seat with her glass and watched the sun setting over the hill while her father leaned against the deck railing and gazed at her.

  “I like that boy, Carrie.” Her father said. Caroline nodded her head and smiled. She knew that Turner would be right up her father’s alley.

  “Do you like him, Carrie?” He followed up after her mute response, looking at her curiously. Caroline furrowed her brow and looked up at her father.

  “Mom asked me the same thing. Of course, I do. Why else would I have brought him here to meet you? I knew you guys would like him.” Caroline said, sipping some of her wine.

  “You knew we would like him,” He nodded and took another sip, “but you have never been the easy daughter who agrees with everything we want for you, beautiful.”

  Caroline smiled sheepishly and tilted her head to the side, looking up at her father.

  “I am sorry, Dad. I don’t mean to be.” Caroline sighed, “Dad, I just really don’t want to be a lawyer.”

  “What? I was talking about Turner, not being a lawyer. You have always wanted to be a lawyer. You practically aced law school. Carrie, what are you talking about?” Her dad said, confused and upset.

  “Dad, you know that my heart has never been in law. You know that. What about my drawing? I can show you my sketches sometime, I am really good, and I love it so much. Why can’t I pursue something like that?” Caroline said.

  “Caroline, drawing is not a career. It’s barely a hobby. It’s like a past time at most. How are you going to pay the bills with that?” He asked.

  “Well, I have done some illustrations in college for collegiate magazines and stuff like that. I think I can get into illustrating books and make a living just fine. I know you guys are supporting me right now, and I appreciate it, but I don’t need it. I know I can do well on my own as an artist.” Caroline explained. Her father let out a deep breath and sat next to her on the swinging bench seat.

  “You are really serious about this, aren’t you?” He said quietly.

  “Dad, I am sorry. But yeah, I really am. Are you disappointed in me?” She asked him. He sighed and glanced at her.

  “Beautiful, I could never be disappointed in you.” He reached his arm around her back and pulled her up against his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

  “I want you to be happy. If being an illustrator will make you happy for the rest of your life, then I support that. But you need to take care of yourself then and learn to stand on your own feet. It’s time I stopped pushing you and just let you do it yourself.” He rubbed her arm, holding her tighter.

  She smiled and closed her eyes. She had so dreaded this conversation but didn’t imagine it would go so well. She felt that father-daughter connection that she had been missing during law school.

  “Carrie, do you remember the story of how I met your mother?” He asked her. She shook her head no.

  “It was at a dance while I was in the Navy. We were on shore for such a brief period of time but it was Valentine's day. So, the local chapter of naval families hosted a ball and invited every woman in town to entertain us for the evening. Your mother didn’t want to go but her younger sisters dragged her along. As much as I can’t stand your Aunt Margaret and Joanne sometimes, I will always be grateful to them for bringing her that night. I didn’t even notice her at first but she bumped into me and I turned around, ready to mouth off to whoever it was that had just knocked into me. But there was your mother.

  We didn’t even say anything, not even a hello. We just stared at each other, I took her hands, and we danced. We danced all night until the dance ended. Then when the dance ended, we went to the docks and dropped our toes into the bay. We sat there until the sun came up, talking about everything. I was shipped out the next day but we traded letters hundreds of times back and forth until my enlistment ended. The moment I came home I told her I was going to marry her.” He paused and breathed deeply. Caroline smiled listening to his story.

  “That’s really beautiful, Daddy.” Caroline told him.

  “In a decade or two, when you are telling your child about how you met their father, my only wish is that it is a story like that. Love beyond imagination. Just think about it, baby girl.” Her father stood up and kissed her on top of her head, then headed inside.

  Caroline sat there and finished her wine as the sky turned dark. She couldn’t stop thinking about what her father had told her. She couldn’t help but let her thoughts drift back to Logan. I am such a mess, she thought as she got up and headed inside to go to bed.

  ~**~

  “It is not a mistake, Gina.” Logan handed her a stack of papers. She grabbed them from him and tossed them to the side.
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  “I’m not taking those. I am not leaving. I have been the best thing for your career and made you into Logan Clay, THE LOGAN CLAY. You don’t get to just toss that aside.” Gina shouted at him, storming across the penthouse. “And I am not leaving here. This is my house and I am not just going to give it all up because you decided to become an entirely different person over the last few months.”

  “No one is asking you to give anything up,” Logan said, picking up the papers that she had tossed, “if you read these papers, you would see that. You can have the penthouse and the town car. I don’t care about those. Your contract was up anyways, the record company just isn’t going to renew it.”

  “Oh and whose fault is that? You probably asked them not to renew it.” She crossed her arms across her chest.

  “You’re right, I did. They are offering you a different job with this new up and coming girl band. No one is leaving you high and dry or anything like that. Only I am leaving. I told you I was moving out when the tour was over, Gina. I told you six months ago. We haven’t even had the smallest dose of romance between us in even longer than that.” Logan argued with her and dropped the stack of papers on the counter.

  “I will have someone come and pick up all my things today and tomorrow. Everything will be packed up and out of your way and then we can both move on, Gina. We need to move on.” Logan took a few steps towards her and grabbed her arms. Gina slumped slightly and looked miserable.

  “What happened to us, Logan?” she said softly, placing her hands on his chest.

  “We are not those young, high school kids anymore, Gina. We changed.” He said quietly.

  “But that’s okay, we grew up. We changed together, that’s a good thing.” Gina said putting her arms around Logan’s neck. Logan sighed and gave her a hug, kissed her gently on the cheek and then pulled away from her, keeping her at arm's length.

  “We didn’t change together, Gina. We’ve never been further apart.” Logan told her, then turned around, and left the penthouse.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Come on, George, you helped me out before. What do I need to do?” Logan stood at the counter of the Java Jolt coffee shop that Caroline went to every morning, attempting to pull information out of George.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t. She is in a different place now, I don’t know if it’s right to say anything.” George shrugged, looking guilty, then pointed behind him, “I have a line of customers, man.”

  “I know, I know. I know she is in a different place, I went to her apartment and they said she moved out last month. Do you know where to? Or her phone number? Anything, George? I need your help, man.” Logan started begging George.

  “Ah, hold on. Christy, come get the counter, I need to take a quick break.” George called over another barista and pulled off his apron, coming around the counter. Logan moved out of line to let the customers go ahead. He looked like an eager puppy rushing up to George, hoping for the best.

  “Logan, I hate to tell you this because I was the biggest supporter of you two. Remember that? I really was, I was so supportive and helped you guys before, remember?” George said.

  “Yes, George, I remember. So are you going to help me now?” Logan asked.

  “Well, the thing is that back then, Caroline liked you. And Caroline has been my friend for five years, so I was really helping her, I thought.” George shuffled his feet, feeling awkward and trying to dodge the conversation.

  “What are you trying to say, George?” Logan stepped back and looked sideways at George, his eyes squinting.

  “Caroline likes someone else now. They are very happy together and she moved in with him. He is a very nice guy.” George spit it out rapidly, trying to peel off the bandage quickly rather than prolong the pain.

  “She is with someone?” Logan said quietly with a hint of confusion, as if he didn’t understand the words he was saying or what he had just heard. George pulled his brows together and frowned, giving Logan a look of pity. Logan staggered a step backwards, pushed his hand through his hair.

  Logan nodded at George and turned towards the door, still looking confused and puzzled. His mind was reeling but he was also kicking himself because how could he have expected anything different? Caroline was beautiful and wonderful, of course men would want her.

  He had been gone six whole months. For some reason, he had held onto this fantasy that she was going to be there, that she was going to wait for him. That kiss in the elevator was so perfect and had stuck with him for every sleepless night during his tour.

  He walked out of the coffee shop and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, looking up the street, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He was not going to give up, he knew that, he couldn’t.

  He looked down at his watch and suddenly had an idea. He walked back to the coffee shop doors and sat down on the sidewalk right next to the door. He crossed his legs and checked his watch again. Caroline came by here almost every morning, if he remembered correctly, so he would just wait.

  A few minutes later, George stepped out of the coffee shop and stood in front of Logan, his hands up in a questioning manner. Logan looked up at him and just grinned.

  “I am just going to wait for her.” Logan told him.

  “You can’t just wait for her. She might not even come here today, she doesn’t come here every day you know. Plus you can’t just sit on the sidewalk. I don’t know but that might be illegal or something.” George said, pretty much devolving into whining.

  “Well, call the police then.” Logan said, crossing his arms across his chest. George stared down at him, still looking puzzled. He put his hands on his hips and looked around. He wasn’t really sure how to handle this but he didn’t think calling the police to remove a rock star from his store front would work out well. George sighed and tossed his hands up in defeat.

  “Alright, fine. Suit yourself.” George told Logan, then headed back into the coffee shop. Logan leaned back against the brick wall of the building and looked up and down the street, hoping to spot Caroline.

  ~**~

  “Babe, do you want a beer or a glass of wine? We only have light beer, but we have a good bottle of pinot.” Turner called to Caroline from the kitchen.

  “Uhm, I could actually go for a beer tonight. I think I had enough wine over the weekend at Jackie’s birthday party.” Caroline responded from her spot on the couch, flipping through television channels.

  “Really? You never go for beer. Glass or in the bottle?” He called back to her just as Caroline landed on a news channel that grabbed her attention.

  “Yes, Steve, the speculation is that it is some type of artistic installation, maybe a promotion for another tour?” The news show journalist reported to the host.

  “Didn’t Logan Clay’s tour just end though?” The host responded.

  “You’re right, Steve, Logan Clay just finished up six months of international and domestic shows promoting his latest album HAZEL EYES that is quite the turn from his normal music. This album mixes his normal rock and roll genre with romance and almost a bit of pop inspirations.” The reporter continued.

  “Is there any word from people on the street about what they are seeing?”

  “Yeah, apparently he has been just sitting there for about thirteen hours straight. He won’t talk to anyone and the coffee shop behind him says that he is waiting for someone.” The reporter finished.

  “Well, viewers, you heard it here on Channel 6, Logan Clay is officially a squatter for the day at a local Manhattan coffee shop. Mystery surrounds exactly why he is there but speculation is that he has a new artistic venture coming out and so this might be a way of promoting that. Coming up next at seven o’clock is …”

  “Caroline! Earth to Caroline! Glass or bottle?” Turner was standing in front of her, looking curiously at her. Her attention snapped back to him.

  “What did you say?” Caroline asked, blinking back surprise as her mind was going a million miles an hour.

>   “I said do you want your beer in a glass or in a bottle?” he asked again.

  “Uhm, you know what, actually, I think I want to go out for a beer. I’ve been home all day, you know. Uhm, Aralia mentioned that she wanted me to come by and catch up with her sometime this week. Might as well go tonight, you know?” Caroline said standing up and heading to the bedroom, looking around to find something to wear.

  “Wait, I thought you wanted to just relax today? That is why you called in sick to work this morning, you said. I thought we were going to watch movie rentals on the couch tonight.” Turner said, following her into their bedroom and watching her slip into a wrap dress and smooth out her hair. She quickly put on some makeup and then left the bedroom.

  “Yeah, I know, but I am feeling antsy, you know, sitting home all day? And Aralia was texting me earlier about these problems with this guy and I am worried about her, so I think I should go check on her. I won’t be long, just really quick, I promise.” Caroline said grabbing her purse and giving Turner a quick peck on the cheek before heading out the front door.

  He stood there staring at the door closing behind her and shook his head in confusion. He loved her but sometimes she could be quite confusing.

  ~**~

  Caroline’s new apartment that she shared with Turner was a bit further away from her work than the apartment she had lived in when she first met Logan, so it took her a little longer to get to the coffee shop that she visited almost every morning. Of course something like this would happen on the one day I call out of work and don’t go to the coffee shop, Caroline thought to herself sarcastically. She picked up the pace and hurried down the Manhattan blocks, finally nearing her destination.

  There was a crowd of people near the coffee shop, not directly surrounding it, but rather acting like stalkers trying to spy what was going on. There were several photographers there snapping the occasional picture and glancing at their watch. Everyone was clearly wondering what was going on.