Sand & Clay

by Sarah Robinson

  To the side of the coffee shop’s front door was a figure sitting against the wall with his knees up and bent, his head leaning back against the wall. He was wearing a sweatshirt with a hood pulled up over his face, so Caroline couldn’t see if that was Logan or not. She stood at the corner of the block, shuffling her feet and trying to figure out what she wanted to do.

  If she walked over to him, pictures would end up everywhere and she didn’t want her face plastered everywhere- especially since she had told Turner she was with Aralia right now. Guilt flushed through her stomach as she thought about her lie to Turner. She took a deep breath and tried to push those thoughts out of her mind, she didn’t know what to do but she felt this uncontrollable force pushing her towards Logan.

  She knew she had to see him, even though she was involved with Turner, there was something between her and Logan and she had to see him. The draw was undeniable. She took a few steps down the sidewalk and was about three storefronts down when she finally stopped again, standing underneath a street lamp.

  Her breathing was rapid and she felt butterflies flipping around inside of her, her nerves on high alert. She stared at the figure for a moment more and then her breath caught as she saw the figure turn to look at her. She couldn’t see a face through the hooded sweatshirt because of the shadows that it cast, but she felt it was him. Caroline didn’t move, her feet were glued to the sidewalk and every muscle in her body had decided to betray her.

  The figure stood up and pushed his hood down, revealing Logan’s chiseled features, soft and wavy hair, and piercing blue, intoxicating eyes fixed on her. The crowd nearby started making more noise, reacting to the change and camera flashes went off. It was only a moment locked in each other’s gaze but it felt to Caroline like hours staring into straight into his soul.

  Suddenly, Logan began to move and move fast, heading her direction. She still couldn’t move so she just stood there, waiting for him, her mind completely blank as she just felt the moment and breathed in the excitement of seeing him again. Logan jogged towards her and reached her in only a few short seconds. He didn’t even take a moment to hesitate before wrapping her up in his arms.

  Caroline tipped backwards at the impact of his body against hers, only to be held secure by his arms around her back. He leaned down immediately and found her mouth with his, kissing her deeply and forcefully. She was surprised for a moment but then fell right into it, kissing him back and slipping her arms around his neck. The couple heard a lot of noise headed their direction and flashing lights. Logan turned his head around quickly to see the paparazzi coming their way.

  “We have to go.” Logan said quickly, grabbing Caroline’s hand and pulling her behind him.

  She didn’t have time to object or say anything and just had to run to keep up with him or he would pull her arm off as he ran quickly down the block and around the corner. They ran another block and made another turn, then turned again, ducking into a small alleyway that was at most only three feet wide.

  The two were shoved into the little nook, pressed up against each other, facing one another. They were silent for a moment, listening to see if they would be found but also unsure of what to do or say to each other.

  “You came.” Logan said softly, touching her cheek as he looked down into her face. She looked up at him and smiled.

  “You were causing quite the commotion.” She giggled.

  “Yeah, sorry about that,” Logan sighed and slumped down a bit against the wall, his hands pulling her against him. She leaned back and pulled away a bit, glancing out onto the street.

  “I think everything is clear. Let’s get out of this hole in the wall.” Caroline said and wiggled her way out of the tight space.

  Logan followed her and pushed his hood back up over his head, just in case. The two walked down the block a bit further until they came upon a small park area. It was only a few feet wide and long, since New York was so crammed for space, but there was a very nice grassy area and park bench with some flowers and a lamp giving off a golden glow to the area in the dark night.

  Caroline walked over and sat on the bench, towards one end, tucking her leg up underneath her. Logan joined her and sat next to her, facing towards her and minimizing the space between them. He reached forward and touched her cheek again, she moved her chin to rest her face in his hand for a moment, then looked up at him.

  “What are you doing, Logan?” Caroline asked.

  “Staring at the beautiful face that has been in my dreams every night for the last six months.” Logan replied, dropping his hand to rest on her leg instead. Caroline blushed at his remark and shook her head.

  “No, I mean waiting for me at the coffee shop, showing up out of nowhere. I hear about your return on the news, not from you. And with everything that happened before you left…” Caroline trailed off and a silence hung between them for a moment.

  “Caroline, I thought about you every moment of every day for six months. It killed me not to be able to talk to you, hear your voice, see your face.” Logan looked up at her, leaning back against the bench and resting his head in his hands.

  “Logan, you knew where I was. You could have contacted me if you really wanted to.” Caroline scoffed, rolling her eyes and feeling a bit annoyed.

  “I didn’t deserve to contact you, Caroline, and you didn’t want me to.” He told her softly, hanging his head.

  “Gina?” Caroline asked. Logan sighed and nodded.

  “Caroline, she is gone now. I ended things with her when the tour ended. I couldn’t do it during the tour because we had a business contract, but it ended and it's over now. I swear there was nothing romantic going on though. There hasn’t been anything romantic between Gina and I since I met you. How could I even think about her or any other woman after having met you?” Logan moved towards her on the bench and wrapped one arm around her back. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead. His hand caressed through her hair behind them.

  “Logan, I am living with someone. We have been dating awhile and he is such a wonderful and sweet guy. I shouldn’t be here.” Caroline said, pulling away from him again and turning her head to look at him.

  “I know, George told me.” Logan said.

  “You know and you still are here? Pulling this stunt to get me to see you? You knew that I was happy and moved on and you still wanted to just come throw some dynamite into my life?” Caroline’s voice was raising as she stood up, stomping her foot in irritation at him. Logan quickly stood up to face her.

  “Happy and moved on? You really think you have moved on? Then why are you even here, why did you come?” Logan said, matching her volume. Caroline stuttered for a moment trying to think of a response, but coming up with nothing.

  “See, you know that I am right. You have not moved on. I have not moved on. Caroline, you know there is something here and we can’t just let go of that.” Logan said, stepping forward and grabbing Caroline. He leaned down and pressed his mouth firmly against hers, kissing her. She pushed her hands against his chest and pushed him away from her.

  “You had an opportunity six months ago, Logan, but you were with Gina. If you really think we have something, you would have left her back then, but you didn’t! It’s not enough, Logan. Turner and I are a couple, he actually puts me first and cares about me. When have I ever seen that from you?” Caroline was yelling now.

  “Caroline, don’t do this.” Logan said, grabbing her arm but she yanked it away from him again.

  “No, don’t tell me that like it was my choice. You made that choice six months ago.” Caroline argued and then took a step towards him, her finger pointing in his face, “I cried for weeks, Logan. Weeks. You did that.”

  Caroline took a step back and lifted her chin, staring at him. Logan lowered his head and ran his hand through his hair. He sighed and knew that there was nothing he could say because she was right. He had hurt her and he deserved her anger. He hated himself just then forever causing her any pai
n.

  She stood there for another moment, waiting for him to respond. Part of her wanted him to beg her to stay, grab her, and kiss her; but the other part felt such guilt knowing Turner was at home right now in love with her and blind to what was going on. She stared at Logan a moment longer, let out a sigh, and walked away heading back down the block. Logan didn’t follow her but instead sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When Caroline let herself back into her apartment, it was pretty late at night. She walked into the living room and found Turner asleep and snoring on the couch with the television still on. She smiled and kissed the top of his head. How could she find any fault with a man like him? She knew he didn’t deserve what she had done today and the guilt was stirring in her stomach. She went into the bedroom and got dressed into some sweatpants and one of Turners t-shirts, then went back out to the living room to wake Turner up.

  “Turner,” Caroline whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek, “wake up, honey, come to bed.”

  “You’re home. I missed you, babe.” Turner leaned up and kissed her, then stood up and followed her into the bedroom. The two climbed into bed together and Turner wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he yawned sleepily.

  “How was Aralia?” Turner asked.

  “What?” Caroline responded, confused for a moment until she remembered that Aralia had been her cover story. “Oh, she is good. Everything is fine.”

  “That’s good, you’re a good friend, babe.” Turner said, looking down at her and kissing her. Caroline felt guilty all over again. Turner began moving his hands up and down her back pulling her tighter against him and their kiss deepened.

  “Babe, I’m tired.” Caroline said, feeling guilty and hoping to dissuade him.

  “I can help make you more tired.” Turner grinned and winked at her, kissing her again. She smiled at him and gave in, kissing him back and wrapping her arms around him. Turner was such a wonderful guy and she knew that he deserved better than her right now.

  ~**~

  “Caroline, I can’t say that I really disagree with him.” Aralia told her, sitting across from her at the restaurant table. She and Aralia were having lunch together two days after her run in with Logan.

  “What are you talking about?” Caroline asked with a tone of irritation and disbelief.

  “Well, hey, it’s just my opinion, but you have never talked about Turner the way you talk about Logan. Even when you are angry with Logan, there is still more passion there then there is with Turner. Don’t get me wrong, I like Turner a lot, he is such a great guy, but you and Logan… I don’t know, there is just something indescribable there.” Aralia shrugged and took a few bites of her salmon salad.

  Caroline was quiet for a bit and ate her chicken wrap. She knew Aralia had a point, but she just didn’t want to accept that yet. Turner was such a great guy, she couldn’t disappoint him because he didn’t deserve that from her or anyone. On top of that, Logan had picked Gina over her and then left for six months- that wasn’t a fact that she could just forget or ignore. He just up and left her, without a word, without any contact and then he just pops back into her life and expects her to drop everything for him?

  “I don’t think he is going to give up, Caroline.” Aralia said.

  “Who? Logan? Yeah, I know. I don’t think he will either. I don’t know if I want him too.” Caroline sighed.

  “Have you seen the news about his career change?” Aralia asked Caroline. She shook her head that she didn’t know and look inquisitively at Aralia.

  “Well his new PR rep, not Gina by the way, spun his coffee shop stunt into a promotion for his new art gallery. It opens up next Friday night with a huge grand opening party. I think it is a combination of his own paintings as well as some other up and coming city artists.” Aralia explained.

  “How was sitting in front of a coffee shop waiting for me a promotion for an art gallery?” Caroline asked, chuckling and taking another bite of her lunch. Aralia shrugged.

  “I don’t know, but she spun the crap out of that story. It is on every magazine cover in the grocery store line. Apparently, he is taking a break from music to work on his artistic side. Have you seen any of his paintings?” Aralia asked her. Caroline nodded and thought of the painting that she had received from him, it was hidden in a carefully wrapped box beneath her bed so Tucker wouldn’t see it. It was private and she didn’t want Tucker to look at it, but she also didn’t want to explain it to him or explain why she kept it even though she was with him now.

  “He is very talented.” She told Aralia.

  “Well, maybe we should go check out the gallery once it opens.” Aralia suggested to her.

  “Seriously? Because that won’t be awkward at all. How would I explain that to Turner? Hey, babe, want to go see my ex-boyfriend’s or ex-whatever-we-are’s art gallery? Sounds like the perfect date night.” Caroline chuckled sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

  “Turner and I have a date night tonight, he says he wants it to be special. It’s our six month anniversary. So, I really can’t be dwelling on Logan right now, Turner doesn’t deserve that.” Caroline said, motioning to the waitress for their check.

  “Turner is really a very good guy.” Aralia nodded in agreement. The two girls finished paying for their lunch and said their goodbyes before Caroline headed back to work and Aralia headed to the bar to start work.

  ~**~

  “Babe, do we have to go out tonight?” Caroline called from the bathroom, looking into her makeup bag and rummaging around. Turner popped his head around the corner to look at her.

  “What are you talking about? We already have the reservations and everything is planned, plus it is our anniversary?” Turner said, walking into the bathroom and hugging her from behind. She looked back at him in the mirror in front of them.

  “I know, I am just tired. It’s been a long week.” Caroline sighed.

  “Babe, I promise you will enjoy tonight. Just give it a chance.” Turner kissed her cheek and then left the room. Caroline sighed and then began putting on her makeup in preparation for going out.

  About an hour later, the couple was dressed and ready to go. Turner had been waiting for Caroline for at least half that time but she was finally all made up and ready to head out. They decided to take a taxi and Turner handed the address to the cab driver on a piece of paper in order for Caroline not to know where they were going. The entire night he had planned was supposed to be a surprise date night, which Caroline thought was sweet but she wasn’t always the biggest fan of surprises. They finally reached their destination at a very nice restaurant right by Central Park that Caroline had mentioned a few times, which Turner must have remembered and tucked away for a night like tonight.

  The hostess led them to their assigned table which had been decorated ahead of time with small votive candles and scattered red rose petals on a white linen tablecloth with white china plate settings. There was a sterling champagne bucket filled with ice next to the table containing a pricey bottle of champagne for them as well. Caroline squeezed Turner’s arm and smiled at him.

  “Sweetheart, this is beautiful. Did you call ahead to set this up for us?” Caroline beamed at him.

  “Of course, baby, this is a special day for us!” Turner gave her a quick peck and then pulled out her chair for her. She sat down and he pushed the chair in for her and then seated himself across from her.

  “Thank you, Turner. You make me feel very special.” Caroline smiled and reached across the table for his hand, which he quickly placed in hers. Caroline’s thoughts drifted momentarily to Logan but she quickly pulled them back. Turner made her happy and he wanted to make her happy. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be in relationships and in love? Why would she want to mess up a good thing?

  The couple enjoyed their entrees and the wines that they paired with it over the next forty-five minutes together. Conversation was minimal though because Caroline couldn
’t seem to get untangled from her thoughts and Turner just seemed quieter than usual, although there was no apparent reason as to why. Finally, their waitress brought them their dessert to share which was a delicious chocolate, multi-layered cake with raspberry drizzle over it.

  “Oh my goodness, that looks so delicious. It might be too rich for me!” Caroline commented on the dessert but eagerly picked up her spoon and dug in anyways.

  “Caroline, this has been an amazing six months together. I am so glad that you came into my life.” Turner smiled at her, he hadn’t started eating the dessert yet.

  “Aw, Turner, that is so sweet. Happy anniversary.” Caroline responded to him and then continued eating the cake.

  “There is more though. You have changed my entire life. I feel inspired and happier than I ever knew was possible. I can’t imagine my life without you.” Turner cleared his throat and stood up from the table. Caroline looked at him confused and felt nervous because she wasn’t sure what was going on. Her eyes doubled in size when she saw him kneel down on one knee at the side of the table, facing her. She put down her fork and tried to swallow her cake, but her throat was closing up. She gulped and coughed a bit in surprise but finally managed to swallow it down.

  “Caroline, I know that we have only been dating for six months but I feel like my entire life has been made better when I met you. You are so beautiful and such a gentle soul, that I knew I had to ask you this question.” Turner said to her, still on one knee.

  “Turner, please don’t-” Caroline tried to interrupt him with no success.

  “Caroline, will you please marry me?” Turner asked, looking up at her smiling with such hope that it made her knees weaken.

  People from the surrounding tables started to clap for them and the excitement spread through the rest of the restaurant within seconds. Caroline looked around and gave everyone a smile, at least as much of a smile as she could muster up. She grabbed Turner’s hand with the ring box and pulled him back up so that he was sitting in his chair. She awkwardly took the ring box from him and waved thanks to the restaurant until people stopped paying attention to them.