As Sick As Our Secrets

by Diane Ezzard

  Charlie laughed and shook his head. “It was the other way around. I know that Randy guy hit her a couple of times though.”

  “So why didn’t you do something about it?”

  “I may look like I can take care of myself but I’m no mug. If I went up against a street criminal like Randy, I’d have no chance.”

  “Why didn’t you leave her?”

  “Believe me, I thought about it but I loved her and she could be unstable. I felt a sense of duty towards her and she needed looking after. I pleaded with her to stop what she was doing but after a while when I knew she wasn’t going to, I accepted it as her occupation. It helped me to cope by believing there were no feelings involved with the men she was seeing. It was a business, and she was purely doing it for money.”

  I found it hard to take in everything Charlie was telling me. He was painting a totally different picture to the story Cassie had told me. After she had been referred to me for slitting her wrists in a suicide attempt, she confided in me that Charlie was abusive both physically and verbally. She was dead now so I couldn’t check any of this out to see who was telling the truth.

  “You’ve given me a lot to think about, Charlie. I don’t know what to make of it all.”

  “If I was lying to you, why would I come to you and ask for help?

  “But Cassie often came to me with a bruised face and body and always told me you had hit her.”

  “Cassie liked to be the centre of attention. She knew you wouldn’t think highly of her if she told you the truth. At least saying it was me made you feel sorry for her.”

  “I wouldn’t have treated her any differently whoever had attacked her. If what you’re saying is true, I can’t believe she blamed you.”

  “She could hardly tell you the truth if she didn’t want you to know she was a prostitute.”

  “Yes, I suppose that makes sense.” I was still finding all this quite shocking. “Wait a minute though, why did she leave you?”

  “I admit, we had fallen out but the real reason was she needed somewhere safe to stay because Randy was after her.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Cassie had been creaming off Randy’s takings and pocketing some of the money herself that was supposed to be his but he got wise to it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes and Randy isn’t the type of person you want to double cross.”

  “So, do you think she could have been killed by Randy?”

  “It’s possible either him or one of his cronies could have done it. I told the police about him but they still think it’s me for some reason, the numbskulls.”

  “This story is all so incredible, Charlie and I’m getting tired. I still feel groggy so I’d like to go home now.” We had arrived where Charlie left my car.

  “Don’t forget, the first person you should contact is Mia from the salon. She can confirm what I’ve told you about Cassie and she may be able to help us find Randy but be careful. He’s not the nicest of characters.”

  “I’m used to unsavoury types,” I laughed. “What if she won’t talk?”

  “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

  “So, what are you going to do, Charlie? You can’t stay here.”

  “No, I know that. I’ve still got money left. I’ll buy us both a pay-as-you-go phone so we can speak without fear of being found out.”

  “Okay, so what are your plans?”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “When should we meet?”

  “Best give me a few days and I’ll be in touch.”

  “Where are you going to go?”

  “I don’t know that either yet but I’ll think of something.” He passed me my car keys.

  “Goodbye then, Charlie.”

  “Oh, before you go, there’s something else I didn’t tell you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I went to Cassie’s funeral. I would hardly have risked going if I didn’t love her.”

  “Was that you stood over in the distance by the tree?”

  “Yes.”

  “I see, okay, well, you’ve given me plenty to think about. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Good luck Sophie and thanks again for everything.”

  I got into my car. I felt I had been talked into helping Charlie but now in the cold night air, I was having my doubts. I got home. I was still coming to terms with what had happened to me. I didn’t sleep well that night. I kept churning over and over what Charlie had told me. Could Cassie’s secret be true? When I thought about secrets, I felt a pang in my stomach. Nausea spread up to my mouth and the pain continued into my chest. I thought about my own secret, something I had kept to myself for a number of years.

  There was only one other person knew about what happened. He was hardly likely to tell anyone but my silence had never given me peace of mind. Instead, I lay awake throughout the night, unable to lie still. I tried to clear my head but sleep didn’t come. I thought about going to the police but I had promised Charlie and felt I ought to give him a chance.

  I got up and made a brew and tried to push my fears out of my head. The thought of speaking to the police filled me with dread. I was convinced they would know I was guilty of something. I decided to keep my promise to Charlie and not inform the police.

  I woke up the next day feeling like I hadn’t slept at all. I must have got off at some point but tiredness weighed me down. Even making a cup of tea felt like a huge effort but I had a mission to contact Mia, which spurred me on.

  Later that day, whilst on my lunch break, I got a chance to make a phone call to The Hair Factory. I wondered if Mia would be there at the salon. I hoped she’d be prepared to speak to me. I was in luck getting hold of her. The receptionist put her on the line.

  “Oh hi, Sophie Brown here, we met at Cassie’s funeral.”

  “Oh hi, Sophie, how are you doing?”

  “I’m fine thanks.” I was thinking about how best to word things.

  “What can I do for you?” asked Mia.

  “I was wondering if I could meet up with you to have a chat about Cassie?”

  “Why, what is it?”

  It’s quite sensitive. I’d rather speak to you in person.”

  “Can’t you tell me now?”

  “I’d prefer to see you if that’s alright?”

  “What’s it concerning?”

  “I can explain better when I see you. Something’s come up regarding Charlie and I think you might be able to help me.”

  “Well, I don’t know how I’d be able to help. I didn’t know him all that well.”

  I could hear the reticence in her voice.

  “I won’t take up much of your time but it is important.”

  “I tell you what, I’ll give you a ring back when I’m not so busy and we can arrange something.”

  We ended the call, and I felt downbeat. Why did I get the idea I was being fobbed off?

  A few days passed, and I hadn’t heard from Mia so I tried ringing again. This time I was asked my name first by the receptionist, then told Mia was busy. Ah, so she’s avoiding me. Rather than keep pestering her on the phone, I made a decision to go along to the salon and wait for her to finish work. I was hopeful I’d be able to catch her when she left. It was Wednesday and a sign on the door said they closed at six.

  I peered in through the tinted glass window and saw Mia’s unmistakeable shoulder-length bobbed dark hair. She was combing her client’s locks and chatting with her through the mirror in front of them both. I wasn’t sure if she’d noticed me when I walked past. I checked my watch for the time. It was 5.30. I made a decision to go and have a coffee in the cafe across the road and wait.

  I took a window seat in the cafe and could see the salon door from where I sat. The young girl whose hair Mia had been doing came out. The cafe was closing, so I waited outside. Six o’clock came and went. Two of the other stylists left the building but there was no sign of Mia. I walked up to the salon window and peered inside. The shop wa
s empty. I frowned. Where had she gone? I wondered if there was another exit she had used. Maybe she had seen me and was avoiding me on purpose.

  I walked around to the back-alley and found out there was a back entrance. It looked like I had missed her. I felt dejected and aborted my mission. I tried phoning again the next day but was told Mia was too busy to come to the phone. I thought, in that case, I would go along again in person to the salon to see if I could catch her. This time I kept well hidden. Five minutes after the shop closed, I spotted her leaving. She was alone. I ran up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.

  “Mia, Mia, can I have a word?”

  She turned and almost jumped when she saw me.

  “Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Please Mia, it’s important.” I tried to pull her back to stop her moving forward.

  She pushed me away and gathered speed as she marched up the pavement.

  “Go away.” She began to run, and I chased after her. She was gaining distance on me.

  I slowed down and shouted out, “Mia, I know about your other job. Charlie told me.”

  Mia stopped dead and turned to face me.

  “What do you want?” she said through gritted teeth. She was watching who was passing by. I caught her up.

  “If what Charlie has told me is true, he may be innocent.”

  Mia paused for a moment, weighing up her options.

  “Okay, you win, I’ll speak to you. Do you fancy a drink? We could call in the Two Tubs?”

  “That’d be great,” I said. I didn’t like going in pubs being a non-drinker but knew I must make an exception on this occasion.

  We walked in the pub and I went up to the bar to order the drinks.

  “What would you like?” I asked

  “You’d better get me a double vodka.”

  “Take a seat and I’ll bring the drinks over.”

  I ordered myself a coke. It still felt strange coming into pubs. Walking over to the corner where Mia had found an empty table, I placed the drinks down. Mia took hers and drank it down in one go. I watched in amazement.

  “I needed that,” she said. “I’ll get another.” She came back with a large glass of white wine. The aroma of the bouquet passed in front of my nostrils. It smelt good. I missed that smell. I ignored any temptation to join her.

  In a hushed voice, I said, “Charlie seems to think Cassie’s pimp, Randy might be connected with her death.”

  “When did you see Charlie?” she asked.

  “It doesn’t matter, but I promised to look into Cassie’s murder for him.”

  “But I thought Charlie had been charged?”

  “He told me he didn’t kill Cassie.”

  “And you believe him?”

  “I’m beginning to.”

  “So he told you I did escort work?”

  “Yes, he told me. Look, I’m not here to judge you. I want to help find Cassie’s killer.”

  “I needed the money, Sophie. I was deep in debt. In fact, I still am but I’m going to have to find some other way of making money. I’m not going back to doing that. I stopped when I got pregnant.”

  “So you have a child?”

  “Yes, and before you ask, I’m a single parent and life is tough. My mum looks after Alfie while I’m working.”

  “Won’t she be expecting you?”

  “I sent her a text while you were at the bar to say I had to work late.”

  “Oh, okay. I’ll try not to keep you.”

  Mia had been drinking the wine greedily and finished the glass. She went to get another. When she returned from the bar I asked about Randy.

  “Do you know where I might find him?”

  “I’d stay away from him. He’s trouble.”

  “I’m used to trouble.”

  “No, seriously, Sophie, you don’t want to go meddling in his business.”

  “I want answers, Mia.”

  “Leave it to the police. You’re off your head if you get involved.” She took a large swig from the glass and wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

  “But I promised Charlie.”

  “Well, let Charlie do the meddling, that’s unless you’re on a death wish.”

  “Those girls you were talking to at the funeral. Might they be able to help me?”

  “You’re not listening, are you? Stay away.” Mia’s voice was raised.

  “I owe it to Cassie. Surely you understand that?”

  “Look, Randy is one of the biggest gangsters in Manchester. He’s trouble with a capital T. For your own good, I wouldn’t go asking any questions. He has a real bee in his bonnet about anyone getting close to him. I think there’s a stigma there because of his disability?”

  “Why what’s wrong with him?”

  “Oh, don’t you know? He walks with a limp. He has a walking stick, but he uses that for beating people up rather than helping him walk.”

  “So, how come he walks with a limp?”

  “You’re asking too many questions, Sophie. Stay well clear of him.”

  “No, seriously, I’m curious.”

  “Apparently, he was involved in a hit-and-run accident a few years back.” This news sent a shiver down my spine. I wanted to know more, but I had probably asked enough questions already. My stomach tightened as I thought about what happened all those years ago.

  We talked for a while longer. I found out that Georgia, Randy’s girlfriend was one of the women Mia had been talking to at the funeral. I managed to get Georgia’s phone number out of Mia. The alcohol was taking its toll and making her more accommodating. I thanked Mia and hoped she got home safely.

  Chapter 4

  RANDY

  Not being one to look back on my life, I had a moment recently with my nephew Harry where he got me talking about that emotional stuff. Harry was an impressionable young lad so letting him see that side of me wasn’t good for my street cred. We had the kind of conversation normally reserved for someone on their deathbed.

  I hadn’t planned on revealing anything, the words just came out. In my game though, who knows how long you’ve got left to live. So maybe Harry needed to know some of that nonsense from my past.

  “Get out of that seat, H.” I picked up the chair Harry sat on and turfed him off it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve told you before, our kid, I don’t sit with my back to the door. I don’t want someone coming along and putting a knife or an axe in my back while I’m not looking. I’ve gotta have my wits about me at all times. Now sit down.”

  “Okay, okay, gotcha, mate.” Harry raised his hands up in defence.

  “I’m not looking for any sympathy for the way I turned out. I’m proud of who I am, anyway. Some people think I’m scum but that’s up to them. We’re too quick to judge each other in this life.” I said as I took a hard long slug from my glass of lager. I knew Harry looked up to me whatever I did, good or bad.

  “Do you remember anything about your dad?” Harry asked

  “It’d be hard to forget the last time I saw him. I’d be about six or seven.” I gazed upwards to the left thinking, recalling the nightmare. I laughed.

  “I broke my back when he threw me against the wall.” I laughed again. “That affected my walking and then I was involved in that accident a few years back, so I’ve never been able to walk properly since, the bastards. What I’d do to my father now or the driver of the car that hit me, if I ever got my hands on either of them, doesn’t bear thinking about.”

  “I never knew that was why you walked with a limp.”

  “There are things you don’t know about me. I bet you didn’t know about Uncle Rudy touching me up from the age of about seven, either, did you?”

  “No, but I’ve heard bad shit about him too.”

  “It’s a good job for him he cleared off back to St Lucia. I’d have put a gun to his head and blown his brains out if he’d stayed here.”

  “He probably knew that. He’d be scared of you like m
ost people are in these parts.” Harry said. “So what happened with the accident?”

  “Some careless moron mowed me down and didn’t think to stop. I was on my own which was unusual for me. Sadly, I never got the car reg. I was too dazed at the time - the car was a Merc, I knew that much and I put the feelers out but I’ve never found the scumbag, not yet anyway.”

  “Did you not tell Office Dibble?”

  “The police? Are you joking? Nah, I sort things out my way.”

  “You might have got a few bob compo.”

  “The only compensation I need is when I find whoever did this. I tapped my foot with my walking stick. They’ll be quaking in their boots. Mark my words, I will find them one day. It’s just a slow process.”

  “If anyone can sort it, you can Randy.” I began rolling a joint as we spoke. I took a drag and passed the roll-up to Harry.

  “You want to get away from this area H. Make something of yourself.”

  “Nah, I like it here.”

  “You’re off your head, man. Ordsall’s the pits!”

  “I want to come into the family business when I’m a few years older, Uncle Randy.” At sixteen, Harry looked and acted much older than his years. In a lot of aspects, he was already my right-hand man. I knew he was going to be very useful when he got older.

  “Well, the way things are going, you’re gonna end up inheriting it all. I’d love my own little nipper, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be having any kids if I haven’t had any yet.”

  “Perhaps, you’re firing blanks,” he grinned. I glared at him.

  “When I was your age I was already hustling people.”

  “How did you start off in business Uncle Randy?”

  “I had lots of uncles when I was growing up, not real uncles, of course, just my ma’s lapdogs. I knew they were all screwing her. She was just an old slapper.” I laughed. “One of them, Uncle Mannie, taught me everything he knew - He showed me the ropes when it came to running scams.

  I was never clever at school - I was dyslexic so could hardly read or write. Ma never bothered about that education shit. She left me on my own at night from a young age. I learnt how to fend for myself. So I was scheming how to make money. I had a racket going at school. I bullied pocket money out of the other kids. I was the cock of the school. I did boxing so I could fight. I’ve always been able to use my hands, know what I mean?” I winked at Harry. I could see he was enjoying listening to my tales.