Love's Disbelief

by Flynn Eire

  “If you didn’t think she was already worrying, you’re a goof. She’s been panicked at how you’re doing after learning the drugs affected you funny and you went early. It made me realize all the parents are probably in the same state, so I talked to Dimitri, and he, Matteo, and Helios agreed to make an exception to allow parents of the post-trans to come visit for a weekend.”

  “That’s really nice of you,” I complimented as I picked up the fork.

  “I know I’m dense. I’m a big blockhead without tact. I know this. My friends tell me often. But I’m not a bad guy, Gary. I just—this camp wasn’t always so nice. A lot of us kept to ourselves, stayed in our group that watched each other, and ignored the rest.”

  I picked up a chicken nugget and dunked it in honey mustard as I mulled that over, while basically drooling over my food. “I can get that. I mean, I could see that being safe.”

  “So you forgive me?”

  I shrugged. “Yes, but it hurt. I liked you. I knew you were a player and it was stupid, but I liked you. I got burned. It happens, and it hurts.”

  I wasn’t sure what else I might have said, but the second I swallowed my chicken nugget, Lynx kept me from reaching for my fries… By kissing me. He slanted his mouth over mine and kissed me gently. Then again, deeper this time. He moved back a bit and studied my reaction. “Don’t say you liked me. Say you like me, because I think I like you.”

  “You think?” I breathed, my heart racing too fast for me to even hear myself, blood rushing in my ears.

  “I’m pretty sure. I think this is how it’s supposed to go. I worry about you. I stare at you. I keep trying to see you. I have no interest in hooking up with others. Yeah, I want you naked and to do everything dirty with you, but it’s more than that.”

  “Oh.” I cleared my throat, realizing how stupid that sounded, but nothing else came to me to say.

  “Say something.”

  “I keep thinking of what to, but my mind is super blank,” I confessed as my heart beat faster, louder.

  “That makes sense after being drugged and your exhaustion.” I relaxed at him being so understanding. “Tell me at least if me saying that makes you happy.”

  I nodded, and he sat back down, letting me eat while my food was warm. “Did my mom tell you all my favorites?” I stuffed more fries in my mouth before picking up half the grilled cheese and an apple slice.

  “Yes, and for the record, you have the palate of a child, which we all find endearing.” He winced. “You might be getting teased about the bunnies for a while. I wasn’t all that quiet on the phone with your mom while we were on the supply run. I bet it’s all over the camp now.”

  “Do you think that means I’ll get more bunnies?” I asked, not able to curb my excitement. It was one of the few childhood loves I couldn’t ever let go of, my whole room at home overrun with everything bunny.

  “You are so fucking adorable,” he chuckled, reaching over and wiping some ketchup off my lip. I watched as he stuck his thumb in his mouth as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

  “Would you really stop playing around?” I blurted and then hurried to shove the rest of my grilled cheese in my mouth.

  “I can be faithful,” he assured me. “For the right person I can.”

  My heart sank into my stomach. “For someone blowing you and letting you bang them, right? Is that how it works?”

  “Hey, don’t put words in my mouth,” he bitched, frowning. “I say enough stupid shit on my own. I don’t need help in sounding like a jackass.”

  I snorted, shaking my head. He was pretty cute too. Sexy actually. That was why I had always liked him. “We met before. I’ve told you my name. That’s why it hurt so much.”

  “I don’t remember. When?” He was curious from his gaze.

  “My transition. You were there working the clinic that day.”

  His eyes flashed shock. “I took over for Matteo after you grew because he was needed for someone else who started. Right. You told me you were Gary and wanted to know how huge you got, and I told you gigantic.”

  “Big fat liar,” I chuckled. “Yeah, we met right here, and I swear I fell for the big fat liar who looked in as much pain as I was.”

  “I couldn’t do Matteo’s job,” he confessed. “I hate working the clinic when someone’s scheduled to transition. I do just about everything I can to switch with someone. It kills me to see people go through that.”

  “Softy,” I teased as I started in on my spaghetti and meatballs baked with tons of cheese. “How’s my mom?”

  “You are so her son,” he huffed, rolling his eyes when I waved at him to explain. “Do you know she called the parents of the two guys who died to give her condolences and apologize that you made it when they didn’t.”

  I smiled. That was something my mom would totally do. “My mother’s gift is empathy. She feels what people do around her, not just like Sam and pain, able to find it, but it’s more focused, like when people touch her. She’s one of the most understanding and loving people you’ll ever meet.”

  He chuckled deeply, shaking his head. “Oh, I don’t doubt it after hearing all about the deals you’ve been making as her son.”

  “That’s not loving. I’m making deals, wheeling and dealing.” I smirked at that last one, liking that I was a mover and shaker… If people ignored I’d basically dropped from exhaustion.

  “Yeah, you’re a hard ass alright,” he drawled. “Dimitri’s giving three post-trans four hours of sword tutoring as he did you, for two half-hour massages, and those post-trans did your laundry, cleaned your room, and took your bathroom cleaning rotation. Yeah, that’s totally wheeling and dealing.”

  I shrugged. “Laundry takes a few hours, including bedding. Cleaning my room and bathroom rotation take an hour. They add up to four hours.”

  “Yeah, but those post-trans all get four hours.”

  “Not really. They’re sharing that four hours, so really, they each probably get a third of that if they’re not greedy.”

  “You’re so damn sweet and adorable, it makes me feel jaded and old.”

  “I bet asking if I get ice cream out of this deal wouldn’t help, would it?” I asked as I finished the tray that had been overflowing with food.

  “Some is coming, along with cupcakes,” he assured me as he wheeled the tray away. But then he moved to sit on the bed, leaning down and moving his forehead to mine. “No more fever. Sam said you were so exhausted you had a damn fever, which we don’t really get. Everyone’s a bit shocked you were on your feet, Gary.”

  I barely heard any of it, more focused on how close his face was to me. I went insane a moment and tilted my head so my lips brushed his, panting in excitement. His eyes filled with something as his hand moved behind my head and he attacked my mouth. I moaned as the bed was lowered, Lynx moving over me and kissing me within an inch of my life. I threw my arms around his neck and willingly gave myself over to whatever he wanted.

  “Shit, you are so damn sexy and sweet, I just want to eat you up,” he said with a growl as he kissed up to my ear and along my neck. “I got what you said earlier. I’ll go slow. Just tell me when to stop. It’s not all about the sex with you.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  He chuckled. “Any blood in your brain to talk?”

  “No. I’m like dizzy from kissing you.”

  “No, that’s exhaustion,” Sam growled behind Lynx.

  “I started it,” I confessed before anyone else gave Lynx crap that wasn’t his fault. “I attacked him.”

  “Yeah, so not believable when his hand is on the remote to lower the bed and he’s about to mount you,” Bowie drawled. “We have ice cream and cupcakes. Carrot cake cupcakes, which Gilroy made special for you as an apology for pushing for a massage right away since he was sore from the quarterly clean sweeps.”

  “He can abuse me again and again for carrot cake cupcakes,” I moaned, trying to shove Lynx away.

  “Hey, did I just get rejected for cup
cakes?” he demanded, his tone not sounding all that happy about it.

  I smiled at him. “I don’t think they were going to keep letting us make out, and I’m still starving.”

  “Plus, I said bed rest for two days. Not make out time,” Sam grumbled. “He was so fucking depleted the blood and IVs couldn’t get into him fast enough.” Lynx moved then, and I winced at the look Sam was giving me. “No more forgetting to get your blood, Gary. I’m not kidding. Set a reminder, something. You have to stop forgetting it.” He swore under his breath, and I’m sure he felt the pain that flared in my chest.

  I sighed, realizing there was no way around it now. “I’m not doing it on purpose, but having the blood reminds me I made it through and the others didn’t. Plus, I don’t get thirsty like I hear others talk of. I really don’t.”

  “Your mother told us she was the same, which was insightful and will help us get you on track better because honestly, you were down so many pints you could have attacked someone, Gary.” His tone was gentler that time, but my eyes bugged out.

  “I wasn’t even thirsty.”

  “You were, you just don’t have the same signs as others,” he explained, sitting on the stool Lynx had been on, giving me kind eyes. “You were craving sugar, more food. That wasn’t just the exhaustion but your body saying it wasn’t getting what it needed. Your mother said she’s the same sometimes when she forgets.”

  “I’ll set a weekly reminder,” I promised, bobbing my head as I realized how much damage I could have done by being stupid, too full of myself that I was making deals and making people happy with massages.

  “You just need to get into a groove and some moderation,” Lynx assured me as he scooted next to me better, moving me so I was half lying on him now. “I’m old and Sam trusts me, so I only swing by every few weeks, but just pick a day and work it in so it’s your routine. Lots of guys swing by before our Sunday brunch spoiled menu because Sam’s here in the morning but takes off the rest of the day.”

  “It’s true. We do most of our handing out Sunday morning before the cafeteria opens,” Bowie confirmed. “Just swing by then, and now that we know, if you don’t I’ll throw something at you at brunch.”

  “Thanks, yeah, throw it hard,” I chuckled, smiling when he handed over a pint of my favorite. “Oh my god, you shouldn’t spoil me so much when I was bad because I might be again and again. How did you guys get Ben & Jerry’s Banana Split?”

  “Lynx got several pints of your favorites on the supply run after talking to your mom. Gilroy is making Dimitri pipe out meringue cookies of your mom’s recipe too.” I shot Bowie a shocked look. “You really helped some of us with those massages, Gary. Sam’s sleeping better, so is Dimitri. Rune and Gilroy said they’re not getting as many headaches after being strapped to their computers for the quarterly clean sweeps. And you’re genuinely nice to everyone, listening to them complain while helping them.”

  I smiled as I swallowed my first big bite. “Mom always says the only difference between a massage therapist and a bartender is we’re better for their body, as we don’t kill livers. I swear some people go to her for therapy more than the massage, and she remembers it all. Who’s got sick kids or problems at work or who thinks their spouse might be stepping out on them. I have no idea how she tracks it all.”

  “There’s actually been some talk, well, Helios talked to his Wyrok contacts, about how much it’s helped,” Sam informed me gently, studying my expression. “Just like people are now talking to Philo’s family, and Alexander is visiting other camps to advise councils on how to run smoother, be healthier like ours, there’s been some suggestions of a rotating massage therapist who spends a week here, then East Coast, then West Coast, and so on.”

  My eyes went wide, and I almost forgot about my ice cream… Almost. Ice cream was too good to really ever forget. “My mom would love something like that. She loves giving massages, and her gift is empathy, but the rent at the place she’s at is stupid high. And she can’t take on other therapists because then it’s like medical and unemployment and too many eyes on her all day, every day.”

  “And doing it out of her home makes people think it’s a scam for prostitution,” Sam added gently, bobbing his head when I flinched. “She told us what happened that one time and how that human put you in the hospital.”

  “What happened?” Lynx quietly asked.

  “I came home from high school—because I went to a human high school since my mom believes living among humans is the best way to remember we all share this planet, not prey and predator like some vampires feel—and some new client was about to rape my mom. Her clothes all torn, and she was fighting, sure, and stronger than him as a vampire, but—”

  “How would she explain it if she smushed him like a bug,” Bowie cut in, bobbing his head. “Fuck, smush him and figure that out later.”

  “My mom could never take a life,” I admitted, spooning out some ice cream. “It’s not in her. She would feel it and—it’s just not in her, and that’s okay. But I freaked out. Saw red and smashed everything in the living room on him practically. He smushed me good, and then Mom didn’t care if it was suspicious, she kicked him so hard she broke several of his ribs right as the cops showed up. He lived, and the cops were jerks like she was a whore.”

  “So she got the shop, but they just upped the rent and…” Sam trailed off and swore under his breath when I dropped my spoon. “You didn’t know.”

  “No, she didn’t tell me. I’m not getting a paycheck yet to send her money. I was going to when I did,” I worried, freaking out that my mom was all alone to deal with this kind of shit and I couldn’t just leave to see her.

  “She’s fine,” Sam assured me. “They didn’t raise it to ten million overnight, and she didn’t make it a big deal. After Lynx talked to her, he gave her my direct number so she could grill the doctor taking care of her son. She mentioned it in passing, and I talked to Helios, who already thought having a rotating massage therapist was a good idea too.”

  I frowned and picked back up my spoon. “I’m not sure having my gorgeous mother around some of the asshole warriors I’ve heard about from other camps is a great idea either. I mean, even here where people are nice, too many were joking about happy endings and shit.”

  “Something to take into consideration, but a trusted guard who got a break from camp now and again might be nice.”

  I studied Sam and chuckled. “And a good way to get more dirt on the other camps being bad more than what I’m sure Alexander isn’t finding when they’re on their best behavior in front of him.”

  “You are sharp,” Sam complimented, bobbing his head. “Yeah, you’re completely right. That’s exactly what’s happening.”

  “She’s coming to visit, right?” I waited for him to nod. “If you get her a guard and it’s a real offer, not some trial shit that will be tossed aside in a few weeks, because that would seriously fuck her if she closes her shop, then I think it’s a great idea.”

  “Good, I’ll talk with Helios and Dimitri about it, but for now, eat your desserts, because it’s time for you to go back to bed.”

  “He shouldn’t sleep here,” Lynx muttered, glancing around the clinic.

  “I get the nightmares anywhere,” I interjected, knowing what he was trying to do. “It’s most nights. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Wait, you said most nights,” Bowie muttered, studying me carefully. “When don’t you get them?” I felt my cheeks flush as I hurried to take too big of a bite of ice cream. He glanced from me to Lynx, smiling. “Interesting.” He smirked at Lynx. “Can you take him to bed and sleep? He needs it and someone to check in on him.”

  “I’m not a baby,” I argued, losing some of my huff when all three of them gestured to the bunny. “Fine, but bunny comes with.”

  “I accept your tough negotiations,” Lynx chuckled, handing me a cupcake that I gobbled right up.

  Ten minutes later, we were crawling into bed, and I lost some of the mirth
, my heart racing. But all he did was give me a soft kiss and wrap his arm around me as we snuggled together.

  Maybe he really can change his player ways for the right person?

  3 ~ Lynx

  “Mom!” Gary exclaimed the next morning as we reached the cafeteria, racing over to a breathtaking woman who turned and looked in our direction.

  “I heard my name, but I do not see my son,” she worried, glancing all around, looking anywhere but at Gary. The joke was funny, and I could see they had the same humor. The resemblances didn’t stop there. He had her bright green eyes and shiny black hair, though hers was almost down to her ass, where his was more an adorable shaggy style.

  “Mom is your name?” Gary challenged as he stopped in front of her. “Don’t be mean. I’ve sent you pictures of what I look like now.”

  “Yes, but seeing in the flesh is believing,” she murmured, looking up at his face. “You don’t even sound like my son. How can I believe this?”

  “You love those romance novels with the happy endings that can get a bit cheesy and the woman is always swept up without fighting more, and you read them while eating pints of Haagen Dazs Caramel Cone and—”

  She reached up and covered his mouth, sighing. “Oh, my cheeky darling. You were the cutest little shrimp of a loveable boy, and now you’re not anymore. Only someone so evil would spill such secrets of his mother’s.”

  “I’m still loveable, and I’d like to think I could be cute at any size,” he argued, leaning his forehead down to hers. “I’m sorry. Don’t be upset. I’m okay.”

  “Don’t scare me like that again, or I will come and beat you no matter how much bigger you’ve gotten,” she rasped, hugging him tightly. “Once I received permission from here to come, they could stuff their waiting another week and a half. I got right on a plane and rented a car to drive here.”

  “Mom, you didn’t have to do that. That’s not in the budget. I know Sam said the rent is—”

  “Yes, it went up five hundred a month, but that doesn’t matter now. Our coven leader has ordered us all to be brought into the fold and no longer have private residences or businesses. I’m sure the moment I close up and move to the coven estate, I will be cleaning his toilets or scrubbing his floors, as is my duty to him and our coven.”