True Bastard: A Dark Sparrow Novel

by India Kells

  “What? What’s going on?”

  She didn’t answer him right away, and turned again to Lazarus, and this time put her cheek on his forehead before relaxing and gifting them the first smile since they arrived. “I can’t believe it. His fever has finally dropped.”

  The doctor’s relief swamped all three of them and, before he could avoid her, Catriona had jumped into his arms, giving him the tightest of hugs.

  Surprised for a second, Liam considered fighting her and stepping back, but instead, he closed his arms around her smaller frame. He’d indulged in her taste earlier, but now, having all her enticing curves plastered against him, and the scent of her hair filling his nose with so many sinful fantasies, he had to untangle himself quickly before the little nun noticed his hard-on.

  Sasha went to tell Sam before returning. “Sam’s going to inform the others. It may be just a short reprieve, but I’ll take it.”

  That statement pulled his mind and cock out of the gutter. “What do you mean, reprieve?”

  Sasha dialed a few keys on a monitor by the bed before answering him. “Liam, as long as Lazarus stays in a coma, his body is more vulnerable to infection. Not only that…” The doctor seemed to search for her words and that didn’t bode well. “His chances of regaining consciousness decrease the longer he stays in that state. I’ve called in a favor from a friend from medical school, and he’s going to check Oz’s tests and hopefully formulate some kind of treatment.”

  Sasha touched Catriona’s hand who took it in hers. “Do what you have to do. Finch no longer breathing will bring much-needed peace around here and will probably help wake Lazarus. It was a miracle his fever dropped so quickly, maybe we can hope for another one.”

  Chapter Eight

  Catriona was still processing what she’d learned about Liam’s unusual family as he parked the car in front of the diner where they’d first met. She didn’t remember the drive, only noticing when the vehicle stopped, and her silent driver got out.

  Before he could round the car, she opened the door and stepped out. From the way he looked around, his stance at the ready, it was clear he was concerned about their safety. If that were the case, why did they stop instead of returning directly to the apartment? It was tempting to ask the question, but Liam’s energy told her to keep away, as if he was about to snap and was working hard at refraining from doing so.

  Courteous, he held the door open for her. The diner was almost deserted in the middle of the afternoon, although she did notice one waitress behind the counter and a cook that appeared busy despite the lack of customers. As soon as they approached, the waitress nodded and joined them at a booth.

  “How dare you come here without that furry friend of yours.” There was a gentle chastisement in the woman’s tone, and from what Catriona could detect, it was obvious the two of them knew each other well.

  Liam rubbed his face in annoyance. “Not now, Debbie. Any other time but not now.”

  Immediately, the woman frowned and turned a worried gaze on Catriona. What could she say apart from shrug? What happened wasn’t her story to tell, and she suspected Liam wasn’t in a sharing mood.

  Debbie softened her tone immediately. “You seem like you need to eat, sweetheart. What about that loaded sub you like so much?”

  He stopped rubbing his face, but his shoulders remained slumped as if the weight of the world were on them and his body was too tired to care. However, he straightened and offered a forced grin at the woman. “I don’t think I could eat that much food today.”

  She didn’t seem deterred. “You can share with your lady. I’ll bring two plates. And I have a warm apple pie just out of the oven, that should finish you off.” And without waiting for his answer, she turned on her heel and scurried away.

  “Debbie is right. You should eat.”

  Liam scoffed. “Isn’t that my line? You didn’t eat much at breakfast from what I can remember.”

  “I never eat much.”

  “A figure requirement?”

  Catriona smiled. “A convent requirement. Prayers and devotions are more important than food.”

  As soon as she mentioned it, his face shut down and he distanced himself from her again. It was the most sensible thing to do, her head knew that, but why was it that every other part of her hated it with a vengeance? She longed for that connection with him, one she’d never shared with anyone else, and that simple concept went against everything she’d stood for until then.

  Before she could analyze her feelings further, Liam’s phone beeped in his pocket.

  When he looked at it, she was glad to see fire returning into his stormy eyes. “Finally! We have the warrants for the bank accounts. Damn, that took forever.”

  As he scrolled through what appeared like a long message, Catriona’s attention was pulled toward the entrance. People were passing by on the sidewalk, busy with their lives, but a figure stood on the other side of the street, near an entrance to an alley, as if wanting to remain hidden. They were at a distance, so it was hard to tell, but the person reminded her of Cary.

  “Here you go, pet.” Debbie blocked her vision as she put the plate of food between them and an extra dish for sharing. “I’m getting you two coffees. Or would you like something else?”

  Catriona only nodded, almost dismissing her so she could see if her mind was playing tricks on her, but when she checked again, the sidewalk was empty.

  “I know you didn’t order anything, but do you want some?”

  Liam asked the question with a frown and looked in the same direction. “Did you see something?”

  As his body tensed, she shook her head. “No, not really. What did you ask me?”

  He seemed to debate insisting or not but must have decided to let it go. “Are you hungry?”

  “Not enough to eat all of that, but I’ll take what you don’t want.”

  The frown returned. “You’re not a dog, and you aren’t eating my scraps. Help yourself. There’s enough for four of us anyway.”

  She cut into the thick sandwich and took a portion to her plate, knowing she wouldn’t be able to finish it and left the fries.

  Liam pulled the rest of the plate toward himself and dug in. They ate in silence for a while, Debbie coming and going, bringing them coffee. She had to admit, filling her stomach with hot food and coffee was a blessing. Halfway through her meal, she pushed the remainder of her sandwich aside and closed her hands over the mug. Her gaze repeatedly looked through the window to the other side of the street, but the person who’d been watching them was long gone.

  Liam didn’t eat half of what was on his plate either and mimicked her pose by taking the mug into his palms. “I need to arrange it with our IT team, but you should have access to the bank details by the time we return to the apartment.”

  “Why did you decide to stop here? Why not eat at Aleksei and Deva’s place?”

  Liam didn’t move for a moment then, for the first time since they’d arrived at the diner, he looked at her. “Why do you think there’s a reason I chose this place for any reason other than I was hungry?”

  Catriona shrugged. “You seem so alert, always looking for a threat, I thought being here would go against your protective instincts.”

  His handsome features remained aloof and disconnected, and she wondered if it was something he often did, a tactic he used to distance himself from the people around him, or maybe it was a useful skill in his life of work. Men had a tendency to distance themselves from emotion, and most often, avoided any show of them as they were interpreted as a weakness.

  There was a hesitation in him, she could see his turmoil until he sighed. “I... I just wanted to have a bit of calm between the hospital and the apartment.”

  With a nod, she took a sip. “You mean between Lazarus and Aleksei. You and your brothers are still adjusting to one another, aren’t you? Your mutual presence, being a family.”

  She was glad to see a hint of surprise underneath all those layers of cont
rol. “I don’t know about the others, but being surrounded by siblings is still a bit disconcerting.”

  That was the opening she’d waited for, as she’d been curious to find out more about his past. “You don’t have a family apart from them?”

  Liam scoffed, and there was nothing tender about it, instead his tone was dismissive and held a hint of resentment. “It depends on your definition of family. If your definition is a mother who drank herself to oblivion because your father had raped her and left her with an unwanted child to raise, I’d say I had a family.”

  Air froze inside her lungs at his revelation, but it was the pain she could feel beyond the sarcasm that hit her the hardest, rendering it impossible to utter a word.

  “One day, my brothers revealed to me how they came about, how Finch had seduced their mothers into giving in, and all I could see was my mother, looking at me like I was the filthiest piece of shit on this earth. I’ve asked myself often why she even kept me. I supposed it was because she was a fervent catholic, so it wasn’t an option to abandon me or have an abortion. When my brothers asked me, I told them that if we were all bastards, I was the real deal. The true bastard. If they had found love in their mother’s arms, all I could remember was the smell of hard liquor on her breath, and the way she pushed me away whenever I longed to have contact with her.”

  Catriona wanted to touch him, to take that child that was still hurting, huddled within this grown man, in her arms, and tell him that it would be all right. “What did you do?”

  The swirl of silver now looked like hardened steel. “Survived. Made sure that, despite my circumstances, I got out of that hell hole and found the man who turned a woman into the monster she couldn’t help but become because of me. One day, my mother’s distant uncle visited and saw what was happening. He’d been abroad for so long, and he hadn’t heard about the rape until he came to visit his family in Ireland. The situation hit him so hard, he took me with him, adopted me. When I left, my mother didn’t even turn to look at me. The last image I have of my home was a door closing on her. I haven’t seen her since.

  “My family became that uncle who brought me here and allowed me to obtain my American citizenship. But even that reprieve didn’t last long. He died of a heart attack just as I turned seventeen. He left me enough to survive, but not to pursue any kind of education, not that I fancied going to college anyway. The military was an option, however the police academy was my final choice. That’s where I found the first true family I’d ever had. And it still is. I can’t wait to return to the force full time. I’m grateful the chief has allowed me to pursue this investigation even though I’m on leave.”

  With a mouth as dry as sand, Catriona tried to gather her emotions after what he just revealed. So much pain and hardship, it made her angry for the child he’d been and how he’d been forced to grow up, protecting himself behind a shield.

  “Your injury, it happened while you were on duty?”

  Liam relaxed a bit as it was clear this information wasn’t bearing the same emotional burden as his past. “Yeah, I was on back up for a mission with the SWAT team, and stray bullets hit me, one in my shoulder, the other above my knee.” A faint shadow descended on his face. “The last one may end my career if it doesn’t heal completely, but if in the meantime, if I can bring Jamieson Finch down, I won’t regret a thing.”

  Catriona didn’t know if it wouldn’t, but she suspected that, despite his dry words, never working as a cop may impact him more than Liam would ever admit.

  In his gray eyes, she saw so much and so little as they fixed on her, making her envious of God for the first time; the only one who knew the secrets of his soul.

  The words she struggled to find remained stuck in her throat, and when someone materialized suddenly beside her, they both jumped in surprise.

  As Liam instinctively reached for his weapon, Catriona recognized the intruder with a squeak. “Cary? Goodness, you almost gave me a heart attack! Where did you come from? I didn’t see you arrive at the front door.”

  The young boy was obviously out of breath, but it was the urgency on his face and how his hands grabbed her arm that worried her.

  “You have to leave now. The men following you are coming this way.”

  Even as he pulled harder on her arm, Catriona froze in place, unable to comprehend his words. In that second, Liam took control of the situation, jumping to his feet and grabbing her wrist to pull her to her own.

  It was as if she was disconnected from her body, seeing herself running after Liam, Cary taking her other hand. One last glance over her shoulder made her catch her breath when she saw three men go into the diner, and it was clear that none of them were there for a coffee. She caught a glimpse of weapons still concealed from customers under their winter coats. It was clear that Cary was a guardian angel in disguise. However, his appearance raised even more questions that would need to be answered if they survived this latest threat.

  Chapter Nine

  Liam had never cursed so much in his life, and from the pain radiating from his knee, he wasn’t close to stopping. He thought for a moment about clenching his teeth and trying to keep the string of curses in for the little nun’s benefit, but the relief he felt wasn’t worth the trouble.

  Instead of dashing out in the open in the back alley, Cary pulled them into the next building and locked the door behind him. Running through one building after the other, almost taking a straight line through various stores, they surprised quite a few owners and shoppers on their way.

  They stopped when they reached a lively boulevard where they could hail a cab. Catriona wanted Cary to follow them, but the boy shook his head and took off without a word, disappearing through pedestrians unaware of the situation. Liam would have preferred to have Cary nearby to get an explanation. Still, he no longer had the ability or the time to run after him, and Catriona’s safety was paramount.

  On their way to the apartment, he’d alerted his brothers, telling them that a definite threat was after them all, and to be on their guard. Security had been elevated to the maximum following the incident with Kai and Isabel, but they still couldn’t pinpoint where it came from.

  Aleksei texted back that he was secure with Deva at the hospital and would return later for a debrief with any of the others that could be spared. This simple reply was a small blessing, and he’d take all he could get.

  By the time they were locked back inside Aleksei’s building, Liam was limping to the point he’d had to accept Catriona’s help to get up the stairs, and it wasn’t something he liked at all. Despite him growling at her, she didn’t say a word, compassion radiating from her to the point where he was both irritated and envying her.

  Liam was grateful their apartment was a floor down from Aleksei’s because he didn’t know if he could’ve climbed another set of stairs. Pain made his muscles seize, sending increasing waves of nausea through him. Now he’d have to find a way to lock himself inside his room where he wouldn’t make a fool of himself in front of the little nun.

  Unfortunately, all his plans went south when he unlocked the front door and received an excited Chewy’s full weight, making him topple backward.

  Chewy half-sat on his chest, licking his face like a puppy, making it difficult to draw a full breath. “Dammit! Down boy. Chewy, down!”

  The mutt wasn’t used to being left behind, as since Liam had adopted him, he’d gone everywhere with him. Catriona pulled him back by the collar until the dog calmed down and finally sat. A feat in Liam’s opinion. Now lying across the threshold, debating how he’d ever get back up again, Liam considered crawling until Catriona returned to his side.

  “Let me help you up.”

  “You’re not strong enough for that. Give me a minute to catch my breath. I’ll try using one of the kitchen chairs.”

  Kneeling beside him, she touched his shoulder, another on his chest, and the contact brought a new wave of sensation that battled with the agony he was under. She could’ve sa
id empty words to fill the silence, but instead, she remained still, waiting for him.

  Without thinking, he put a hand over hers on his chest, and sooner than he expected, he was willing to try pulling himself off the floor again. What he needed were a couple of pain killers, and an hour alone where he could rebuild his shield and not feel so vulnerable and tempted by the unattainable woman continually touching him.

  Even when he finally pushed her hands away, she kept helping him while he used the door jamb as leverage. Heaving and at breaking point break, Liam hopped a few feet and let himself fall on the sofa. Chewy came to whine by his side, obviously upset that his master wasn’t his usual self, and put his big scruffy head on Liam’s good knee. Liam started to scratch the dog’s ear. “It’s okay, boy. Gimme a minute here, and I’ll be fine. Sorry for yelling at you earlier, you big goofball.”

  He probably said those words more for himself than the dog, and regretted he’d thrown away all those powerful pills the doc had prescribed to him in addition to the regular dose because he thought he could endure the pain without them. This whole thing was just another stone crumbling from his molehill of hope that he’d return to the Force at some point.

  Catriona returned to his side with a bottle of water and two pills. “They won’t probably help much, but that’s all I had in my bag.”

  Without a word, he accepted the medicine and downed them, finishing the water bottle. The cold liquid was soothing, but not as much as the woman standing with a worried expression on her face beside him. “And here I thought that you brides of God would rather sustain pain as a proof of your faith than find a quick fix for it.”

  She cocked her head. “We do, but we evolve like everybody else. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too strong. I usually take them for menstrual cramps.”

  Liam frowned, not sure if she was joking or not. On that last quip, she turned and went back to the fridge. When she returned, she had a bag of frozen vegetables in her hand. “Not as good as peas, but it should do.” She examined him a little and nodded. “You should remove your pants.”