Love, Rosie

by Cecelia Ahern

  BECAUSE YOU BRING US SO MUCH JOY!

  TO JOSH (AND YOUR DADDY),

  WE LOVE YOU BOTH AND HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND THANKSGIVING TOGETHER.

  LOTS OF LOVE,

  ROSIE AND KATIE

  Dear Rosie and Katie,

  Thank you for the teddy you sent me for my birthday, I call him “Bear.” Daddy made the name up all by himself, he is very clever. I love to chew on his ear and drool all over him so that when Daddy hugs him, it leaves my slobber all over his face. I also like to throw Bear out of my cot in the middle of the night and then scream at Daddy until he picks it up for me. I just do it for the laugh, Daddy doesn’t need to sleep. He’s only here to feed me and clean my diapers.

  Anyway I better go now, I have a very busy schedule, I’m being fed at nine o’clock, followed by a burping, and then I’m going to try to take a few steps across the living room. I no I can do it . . . one of these days I won’t land on my bum . . .

  Thanks for Bear,

  Love you and miss you both,

  Josh (and Daddy)

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Alex

  SUBJECT:Happy 30th!

  I can’t believe you’re not having a thirtieth birthday party! Or are you having one and you’re just not inviting me? I know you’ve been inclined to do things like that in the past. Jesus, imagine that was a whole twenty years ago. I never thought we would reach the time when we could remember anything happening that long ago. Anyway happy birthday, have a slice of cake on me.

  FROM:Alex

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Thanks

  Sorry I haven’t been in touch, I’m almost ready to finish up my residency here so I can move on to do two more years of cardiothoracic residency program. I just have to figure out where exactly. My one hundred years of study are almost up! No celebrations for me this year, too busy trying to pay back my million-dollar student loan.

  You have an instant message from: GREG

  Greg:Hi honey, how’s your day going?

  Rosie: Oh it seems to be one of those never-ending days. The hotel is completely booked out this weekend because of the St. Patrick’s Day parade, the place is jammed. There’s been a steady flow of big groups of people arriving all day so I’ve been constantly checking them in. It has quieted down now for a little while so I’m pretending to be really busy on the computer with reservations right now so don’t make me laugh whatever you do or my cover will be blown.

  Well, when I say quiet I mean no one is bothering us at reception, the noise level of the hotel is a completely different story altogether. There’s a huge group of Americans in the bar singing along to old Irish songs, would you believe they got the Paddy Band in to the hotel as a special treat? I’ve never seen so many green faces and dyed red hair in my life.

  Unfortunately some of Bill Lake’s family have flown in from Chicago. There are thirty of them so I’m on my best behavior. Apparently his nephew is a trombone player in the Chicago high school marching band that’s marching in the parade on Sunday.

  I’m just dying for the day to end, my face is sore from smiling and my eyes are stinging from staring at this bloody computer screen. I can’t believe Bill gave me the weekend off! I am so thrilled! He’s such a sweetie; I can’t remember the last time I had a Saturday off or two days in a row for that matter. Well it means that for once we can go out tonight and I won’t have to worry about getting up in the morning. Have you been talking to Ted? What time do he and Ruby want to meet up at? I was thinking of bringing Katie and Toby to the parade on Sunday, what do you think?

  Sorry for rambling on, I feel like I’m back at school on a Friday afternoon waiting for the final bell to ring for the weekend. For my freedom. Whatever use double maths has in life is beyond me, but it sure prepares you for the boredom of work.

  Greg: Oh Rosie I’m sorry to dampen your good spirits but I have to head up north to Belfast tonight. I only found out this morning so it’s completely last minute. I’m sorry.

  Rosie: Oh no! Why do you have to go to Belfast?

  Greg:Oh there’s this seminar that’s on that I have to go to.

  Rosie: What kind of a seminar?

  Greg:A financial one.

  Rosie: Well of course it’s a financial one. I hardly expect it to be on French cuisine. Do you have to go? Will they even notice if you’re there?

  Greg: Well, no they wouldn’t notice to be honest, but I want to go. They’re quite interesting you know, and I have to stay ahead of my game.

  Rosie: Oh how much more could you possibly learn about bloody banks? They give you money and ask for ten times more back. That’s about it.

  Greg:I’m sorry Rosie.

  Rosie: Oh this is so annoying. Of all the bloody weekends Bill gives me off, it’s the one you have to go away for. You do know that I will not get a weekend off for another year don’t you?

  Greg: I love the way you never exaggerate Rosie. Listen, I have to go, OK? Talk to you later, love you.

  Rosie: Oh hold on, before you go, did you see the phone bill this morning?

  Greg:What was it like, high?

  Rosie: Guess.

  Greg: Damn. That’s you and all that time you spend on that Internet sending e-mails you know. I don’t understand why you and Ruby can’t just arrange to meet like normal people.

  Rosie: Because no establishment allows us to sprawl across their couches in our pajamas and smoke. It’s far more comfortable at home. Anyway the price of the bill couldn’t have anything to do with all those hours a week you spend on the phone to your mother, convincing her she’s perfectly capable living on her own, by any chance?

  Greg: I somehow think you don’t really mind me spending those hours convincing her, my darling!

  Rosie: True! Oh if only we knew a bank manager who could give us a loan . . . how simple life would be . . .

  Greg:Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that Rosie.

  Rosie: And imagine my disappointment when I found out after I married you.

  Greg: You stuck with me all the same, thank you for that. I have to go now and refuse to give a mortgage to someone, you know how it is. Love you.

  Rosie: Love you xx.

  FROM:Kevin

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:My favorite sister

  Hello my most favorite big sister in the whole entire world. It’s Kevin here. E-mail me back when you get a chance, I’m on the college computer so the Internet is free and I wanna ask you something.

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Kevin

  SUBJECT:Re: My favorite sister

  Why do I only ever hear from you when you want something?

  FROM:Kevin

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Re: My favorite sister

  You sound like my ex-girlfriend. What makes you think I want something? Maybe I just want to catch up with my sister and see what’s going on in her life. How’s Katie? Tell her I was asking for her. How’s Greg? Tell him I was asking for him. How’s Alex? Tell him I was asking for him. See how interested I am in your life? If you ever need a babysitter for Katie just let me know, I’d only be too delighted to help out. Anyway that’s all from me, take care of yourself and keep in touch.

  PS: Any chance you could ask your boss for a job for me?

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Kevin

  SUBJECT:A-HA!

  A-HA! I knew there had to be a catch! You never usually care about what’s going on in my life. Katie is fine, thank you, so is Greg, and so is Alex. You could see how they are with your very own eyes if you ever bothered to call around. Yes I would love you to mind Katie thank you very much, but I’m not sure I could trust you after what happened the last time round.

  FROM:Kevin

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:6 years ago!

  Oh come on Rosie! That was at least six years ago, I was only 17! How could you give a 17-year-old male an apartment of his own and not expect him to invite around a few friends. It’s only n
ormal.

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Kevin

  SUBJECT:Normal!

  Kevin, you trashed the place. Poor Katie was terrified and I didn’t appreciate finding you asleep in my bed with that . . . whatever she was . . .

  FROM:Kevin

  TO:Rosie

  SUBJECT:Water under the bridge

  Well you said make yourself at home . . . Anyway that’s all water under the bridge, we’re both sensible adults now. (You’re getting on a bit—thirty next month!) I would really love if you could help me out. Please help me out, I would be forever grateful and I honestly, truthfully mean that.

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Kevin

  SUBJECT:You owe me!

  Oh OK but I’m not promising any miracles. Don’t mess this up Kevin or Bill will hold it against me and it’ll ruin my grand master plan of taking over this hotel.

  FROM:Rosie

  TO:Alex

  SUBJECT:Life!

  Christ Alex, who knew Kevin had learned to walk and talk? I thought he was still at school. He just suddenly grew up. Not that he was ever one for sharing his life stories with me anyway. He’s so secretive. It’s people like him, the world has to worry about.

  Things change so quickly. Just when you get used to something, zap! It changes. Just when you begin to understand someone, zap! They grow up. The same is happening with Katie. She changes every day; her face just becomes so much more grown-up every time I look at her. Sometimes I have to stop pretending I’m interested in what she’s saying in order to realize that I actually am interested. We go shopping for clothes together and I take her advice, we eat out for lunch and giggle over silly things. I just can’t cast my mind back to the time when my child stopped being a child and became a person.

  And a beautiful person she is becoming too. I don’t quite know where I’m going with this letter, Alex, but I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately and my head is a bit of a muddle. It’s hard to grasp things and keep them firmly in your grip because quicker than you know it they slide right through your fingers and you lose control.

  Our life is made up of time; our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years. We grab a quick few minutes in our busy day to have a coffee break. We rush back to our desks, we watch the clock, we live by appointments. And yet your time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could. In other words, if you could change anything, would you?

  Everything is spinning around us, jobs, family, friends, lovers . . . you just feel like screaming “STOP!” looking around, rearranging the order of a few things, and then continuing on . . . It was just a thought. I know you’re having a really difficult time right now. Please know that I’m always here for you.

  Love, Rosie

  CHAPTER 19

  Dear Alex,

  OK, so as you probably no, it’s mum’s 30th next month and me and Toby are arranging a surprise birthday party for her. So will you come?

  So far we have invited Grandma, Granddad, Aunt Stephanie, Uncle Kevin (even though we didn’t want to because he scares us), Ruby, Teddy, Toby’s mum and dad, Toby, and me. That’s all so far. Oh yeah and Greg too if he’s here. He’s always working and Mum is always giving out to him about it. The other weekend Mum was off work and she was real excited about it all week because she had stuff planned with Ruby and Greg. I no how she feels because I hate school and I love when the weekend comes. Anyway Greg had to go away again last minute. Then Ruby called her and said she was sick so Mum stayed in and watched TV with me and Toby and she let him stay over.

  Toby got this cool new flashlight. It’s like the best one you can get. When Mum went to bed we were shining it out our window and it reached all the way up to the clouds and everything it was so strong. Well we were shining it across the road and we could see Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher across the road. Toby thinks they were playing leap frog. It was real funny except Mrs. Gallagher came across the road in her dressing gown real mad at us and she was banging on the door shouting at Mum. Mum was so mad she said she wouldn’t take us to the parade. But she did.

  Me and Toby got our faces painted in town and it looked really cool. We even got Mum to get a little shamrock on her face as well and she did but then she wished she didn’t because it started raining and the green, white, and gold face paints were running all over our faces. They looked like rainbow tears. Loads of Toby’s got in his hair and I rubbed my eyes by mistake and all the green got in. They were stinging so much I couldn’t keep my eyes open and I couldn’t see so Mum and Toby held my hands and brought me home. We had to leave before the parade even started.

  We were soaking when we got home and Mum’s new outfit was covered by the green stuff. The lady that put it on our faces said that it washes off clothes. It doesn’t. Toby has had green hair for the whole week in school and Ms. Big Nose Smelly Breath Casey isn’t happy. Can you believe she is the principal now? Mum says the school must really be desperate. Anyway, when we got back from town we just watched the parade on telly but we only got to see the end because it took us so long to get home because of all the bloody tourists. That’s what Mum said.

  So will you come to the party? You can bring Josh too, we need more people anyway. Aunt Stephanie can’t come because she is due next month and I don’t think the pilot will let her fly because she’s too heavy or something. Grandma and Granddad are going over to visit her, Pierre, and the new baby if it comes, Uncle Kevin can’t come because he’s starting his new job as a chef in a new hotel down the country. So it’s just Ruby and Teddy and Ruby says that she can’t promise Teddy will be there, because she doesn’t like to plan dates with him that far in advance. It’s only two weeks though.

  I wanted it to be kinda special for Mum, because she’s been really sad again this week. Things have been kinda weird these days. I think it’s because the telephone is broken. Every time the phone rings and Mum answers it, no one is there. It happens when I answer it too. It doesn’t happen when Greg answers it.

  Greg said he would get someone to fix the phone and Mum just spilled her drink on him. I don’t really think it’s broken. I think that whoever is ringing just wants to speak to Greg and not me and Mum.

  It would be good if you came over, you’re loads of fun. You can even sleep here but you can’t sleep in the spare room because that’s Greg’s room now I think. You can sleep on the couch or I have a pull-out bed in my room. Remember, don’t ring because it’s a secret and Mum just keeps hanging the phone up without saying hello anyway. E-mail me if you want.

  Love,

  Katie

  FROM:Alex

  TO:Katie

  SUBJECT:Re: Rosie’s 30th

  Thanks for the letter. That’s a good idea of yours and Toby’s but I won’t wait until your Mum’s birthday if you don’t mind. I’ll be over as soon as I can.

  HAPPY 30TH SISTER!

  SORRY WE CAN’T BE THERE,

  LOVE STEPHANIE, PIERRE, AND JEAN-LOUIS!

  FOR OUR DAUGHTER,

  HAPPY 30TH.

  SORRY WE CAN’T BE THERE, ENJOY YOUR DAY LOVE AND WE’LL SEE YOU WHEN WE GET BACK.

  LOVE MUM AND DAD

  HAPPY 30TH SIS,

  SORRY I CAN’T BE THERE BUT THANKS FOR GETTING ME THE JOB, I OWE YOU ONE.

  ENJOY THE NIGHT.

  KEVIN

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROSIE,

  SORRY WE CAN’T BE THERE BUT WE’RE STUCK COVERING YOUR SHIFT!

  LOVE FROM EVERYONE AT WORK XXX

  To Rosie,

  I’m so sorry, please forgive me; I have been a complete fool. Please let’s put this behind us and enjoy your birthday weekend.

  Love,

  Greg

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

  LET’S GET PISSED.

  LOVE RUBY

  Rosie,

  I’m returning to Boston tomorrow
but before I go I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing into this pen and I’m leaving this letter for you so that you don’t feel that I’m putting you under any great pressure. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say.

  I no what’s going on, Rosie; you’re my best friend and I can see the sadness in your eyes. I no that Greg isn’t away working for the weekend. You never could lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Don’t pretend that everything is perfect because I see what’s going on. I see that Greg is a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is and it makes me sick.

  He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn’t deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of getting scared and being too afraid to try.

  I am not scared anymore Rosie. I am not afraid to try.

  I no what that feeling was at your wedding—it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, another man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. It was like a prison sentence for me. Years ahead without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to.