Defend

by Lindsay Paige

  He kisses me every so often as well because he keeps saying he’s grateful I’ve allowed him to bring me here for a date. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I agreed to come because I wanted to. The bonus is I’m enjoying myself, the game, and watching Brent enjoy it so much. If we’re still together by his birthday, I definitely know what to get him as a present.

  Wait. When does hockey season end? That might wrinkle my plans.

  For now, I enjoy the present. Hockey seems pretty intense. And fast. It’s exciting and it doesn’t take much action to get my adrenaline pumping. The roar of the crowd at the end of the game when the Rebels come away with the win is insane in and of itself. These are some very happy people because their hockey team won tonight.

  Brent is one of them. He’s all smiles and happy energy.

  “Are you full or still hungry? We could get something to eat.”

  “I’d really like some ice cream.”

  “You’re in luck. I took my ice cream from the shop to the house and replaced your melted pint with a new one.”

  “Do you have hot chocolate, too?” The slight frown tells me he doesn’t. “Just stop by a convenience store and I’ll grab one there, unless you want one too?”

  He shakes his head. “I’ll stop at a store for you, though.”

  So after a quick stop at a nearby store, we find ourselves nestled together on his couch, eating ice cream and me drinking hot chocolate.

  “Did you enjoy the game?” he asks.

  “Probably not as much as you did, but yes. I’m surprised you don’t have at least a T-shirt or a jersey.”

  Brent shrugs. “I just watch it on TV every so often. I might actually have to go to more games, though. That was a lot of fun. Gregory would probably enjoy it, too.”

  “That’s a good idea. I’d go with you again if you ever wanted or needed someone, too.” My phone interrupts his response with a loud ringing from my bag at the other end of the couch, where I dropped it when we came in. “Sorry.” He takes my ice cream carton while I stretch out and lean over to grab it. The groan at the sight of my mother’s name is involuntary. I send her to voicemail and change my ringer to silent.

  “You want to talk about whatever that was? I think you need to. Actually, I’m holding your ice cream hostage until you do.” He twists and sets both cartons on the end table next to him. “Talk to me, Jamie.”

  “Brent,” I whine. “It’s not that important.”

  He studies me for a moment. “I think you’re lying, but I’ll allow it for now.” His tone worries me because it really sounds like he’s promising to bring it up again, as if he refuses to let me get away with not telling him about this.

  “Are you finished with your ice cream?” I don’t want more now. When Brent nods, I stand to put away what’s left of our ice cream and drop our spoons into his dishwasher. I take a deep breath to collect myself and get my emotions back in check.

  Arms trap me in, one on each side with hands resting against the counter. “Did I upset you? I didn’t mean to.” He lifts one hand to brush my hair away from my neck and places a sweet kiss just below my ear.

  “I’m not upset.” Which is true. And that little kiss has me all distracted now. “Kiss me again,” I whisper.

  Brent doesn’t say anything. He simply leads a trail of kisses from my neck down to my shoulder. Any tension and stress I had melts away. It takes only two more seconds before he turns me around and his mouth meets mine. Kissing him is pure heaven, especially when his arms wrap around me to hold me tight. This time, however, the passion seems to double with every second his lips are on my lips and with every swipe of his tongue against mine.

  Brent turns me again and walks, causing me to stumble and walk backward. When I bump into the banister and grunt in pain, he stops everything.

  “Do you want to go upstairs?”

  His chest brushes against mine with his every breath because while he stopped, he didn’t separate from me at all.

  “Yes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I didn’t hesitate, Brent.”

  He nods, turns me once more, and walks me up the stairs with his hands on my waist.

  “Wait, are you sure?” Maybe he’s asking me if I’m sure because he was hesitating. I try to look at him over my shoulder, but it’s a scary thing to do while walking up the stairs.

  His fingers rap along my ribs. “Keep walking, hon.”

  I grin. “Yes, boss.”

  In his room, he takes my hand as I face him. Brent kisses me long and hard and then his fingertips barely slip beneath my sweater. I’ve never been more excited and ready for anything in my life.

  “If I ask you a question, promise not to laugh?” I turn my head to look at Brent.

  He smiles. “No promises.”

  “You are... We are...” What words could accurately describe what happened a little while ago? “That was...” I have no clue. Brent chuckles. “It’s never been like that. Are you magical? Or is it your experience or your age?” He does in fact laugh at me. “I mean, our chemistry is good, but...” Wow. Sex with him is why people use words like magical and fireworks and toe curling and off the charts amazing. The first time was like a hot, getting to know you type sex with a few awkward fumbles. The second time? My mind can’t comprehend how it can be that good.

  “Don’t overthink it, hon.”

  I smile and turn my head, though the ceiling is now my view.

  “You’ll stay the night, right?” he asks.

  “And miss out on more of this?” I motion between our naked bodies. “Don’t be silly. I should really thank Erin for her foresight to pack me a bag,” I finish in an afterthought to myself.

  “You should,” Brent agrees, pulling me into his arms. “Now that I have you all relaxed and you like me even more, there’s something that’s been bugging you and I want you to tell me what it is. Maybe I can help.”

  My sigh is loud and long. “Brent, there’s nothing to be done.”

  “Tell me,” he insists.

  “Are you going to annoy me about this until I do?”

  “Yes. I think you need to talk about whatever it is.”

  Well, now what?

  Brent runs his knuckles up and down my arm. “I remember you said it was very personal, and I’m still insisting, but take all the time you need.”

  It takes me about a minute to gather up the courage to tell Brent what I’ve only told one other guy. “I can never have children.”

  Brent immediately sits up and looks down at me with regret. “I am so sorry, Jamie. I didn’t realize I was making you tell me something like that.”

  I hold up my hand. “It’s fine. I’ve known for years.”

  He lies back down. “Do you know why then?”

  “This isn’t post-sex pillow talk, you know.” I glance over at him with a raised brow.

  “You really don’t have to tell me. I feel bad about pushing you.”

  “It’s too late now. You asked. You’ll come to regret it, I’m sure.” I take a deep breath and push through before I have to explain what I mean. “Long story short, my period never came, my mother took me to the doctor, and it turns out I was born without a uterus. Therefore, no kids for me.”

  “That’s why you seemed so certain,” he says quietly.

  “Yes. I’ve never really wanted kids, so it was sort of a relief to hear I didn’t have to worry about that. But then, I had to wonder if there was something else wrong with me to feel relief. I struggle with that more than anything else.”

  “If you’ve known for so long, what’s bothering you now?”

  I roll my eyes. “My sister is pregnant and my mother thinks it should cause me to have a breakdown or to change my mind about kids because I could go through a surrogate or adopt, but I don’t want either. I’ve told her I’m fine. It did take me by surprise at first, but once my thoughts settled, I realized I was indeed fine. She doesn’t believe me and tried to set me up with a therapist I saw when
I was a teenager. If I could get her to leave me alone, my problem will be solved.”

  “But you are okay with it?”

  “Yes!” I sigh in exasperation. “I struggle more with the fact that everyone still wants me to want kids, regardless. It’s a sore subject altogether, but I’m perfectly happy for my sister. I just want my mother off my back. So, see? You can’t help me.”

  He smiles. “Tell her you’re dating someone and too distracted by his good looks to see a therapist or think about your sister being pregnant. There. I helped.”

  I can’t help but give him a smile of my own. “You’re such a good man, Brent.” He really is. I hope I can keep him around for a long, long time.

  It’s a great morning. We wake up, spend a little time in bed, have breakfast, and now we’re lying on the couch with something playing on TV. I’m not paying attention because I can’t stop kissing Jamie. She’s below me with her head angled toward the TV, as if she’s actually watching. My arms brace on either side of her shoulders while my knees are on either side of her hips.

  Feather-light kisses of mine drop down on her temple, her cheek, and the corner of her mouth. Since she seems to be ignoring me well enough after about five minutes of me placing kisses in various spots, I try a new tactic. One hand slips underneath her shirt and I rest my mouth where her neck curves into her shoulder. And then I give her a raspberry.

  Jamie laughs and tries to push me away. “Brent! I’m trying to watch TV.”

  I lift my head to glance at the TV and then laugh. “You’re watching cartoons!”

  “I changed it there to see if you’d notice and you obviously didn’t.” The remote is in her hand and she switches it back to the comedy show she was watching before.

  My hand inches higher up her stomach. “Do you seriously want to watch TV?”

  She smiles and glances back at the TV. “You may continue.”

  I chuckle, lift her shirt up, and dip my head. She squirms slightly when my head reaches her breast, but she laughs because I give her another raspberry, but this time just above her other breast.

  “Brent, you can’t do something to make me laugh while turning me on. My poor body’s confused already,” she says with a laugh. However, the remote has fallen onto the floor and her hands have made their way into my hair.

  “You’re the one who’s been ignoring my efforts.”

  “Maybe you should try harder.”

  I grab her chin and turn her face to kiss her, which finally spurs her to react. She pulls my shirt up and over my head, tossing it onto the floor.

  But I stop as I hear my front door open and hear, “Dad?” In one second flat, I stand up and see both Kayla and Logan as he closes the front door.

  “Hey. We thought we’d come over to have breakfast with you and Gregory. I tried calling, but you didn’t answer, so I got worried and we definitely decided to come over. Where’s Gregory’s car? Did something happen to it?” Kayla finally finishes.

  “I’ve already had breakfast and your brother isn’t here,” I say. I need to say something else because there’s no way I can keep her from seeing Jamie. The couch squeaks as Jamie tries to pull her shirt down and everyone hears it.

  Logan seems to catch on to the situation before Kayla because he says, “Kayla, maybe we should go. I think we caught your dad at a bad time.”

  “Is someone here with you, Dad? Why isn’t Gregory here?”

  “He had plans with a friend.” I hold my hand out and Jamie shakes her head, but she has no choice at this point. After a second or two, she takes my hand and stands.

  “Jamie?” Kayla’s eyes widen and her mouth hangs open. Her eyes quickly take in the fact that Jamie is wearing a pair of pajamas and her hair is a mess.

  “You know her?” Logan asks.

  “I have a class with her!” Kayla shouts. All of her anger and surprise directs not at me, but at Jamie. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “I’ve been seeing Jamie the last couple of weeks,” I calmly answer.

  Again, Kayla doesn’t respond to me. “Are you kidding me? You could be my sister! He could be your dad! You realize that, right? What are you doing with him?”

  “Kayla,” Logan tries to interject.

  “No! This is ridiculous! What are you trying to do? Take advantage of him because he’s well off? Make him your sugar daddy? You probably couldn’t be faithful because you flirt with everyone in class.”

  “What?” Jamie asks in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  Kayla turns to Logan, fakes a laugh, and grabs his arm. “Oh, Dax. Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “That wasn’t flirting,” Jamie states plainly.

  Kayla rolls her eyes, clearing not believing her. “There’s no reason for you to date my dad! It makes no sense! What’s next? Y’all are going to start a new family! Do you realize how stupid and crazy that sounds?”

  “Kayla!” I’ve heard all I can hear of her rampage. “Leave.” My arm flies up and points to the door. Pain hits me right in the chest at seeing her stricken face. You’d think I slapped her, but she has crossed a line.

  “Me?” Kayla questions in disbelief. “You’re asking me to leave instead of her!” She points at Jamie.

  “Brent,” Jamie quietly starts, but I take her hand and squeeze it.

  “You barged in here and disrespected my guest, so yes, I’m asking you to leave. We can get together later and talk about this, but you need to go and calm down.”

  “Dad.” Her voice breaks on that one word. I nearly cave and change my mind right then and there.

  “Come on, sweet cheeks,” Logan says softly, taking her hand. “Your dad is right. Let’s go.” He tugs on her hand until she follows him out of the house.

  The moment they are gone, Jamie plops onto the couch and hides her face in her hands. “That was horrifying and terrible. She hates me and now, she’s upset with you.” She looks over at me as I sit next to her. “Brent, maybe we shouldn’t do this. Look at the trouble it’s caused.”

  “You’re not going to give up on us already, are you? We just caught her off guard.”

  Jamie shakes her head. “No, Brent. She’s pissed. You talking to her isn’t going to make things better. She thinks I flirt with everyone and our age difference isn’t going to change. Unless she accepts that, she isn’t going to be happy about this. Are you willing to date someone when it’s going to cause problems with your daughter? When it’s already causing problems?” She takes a deep breath. “I’m not trying to get out of this, but I feel bad for what just happened, too.”

  I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her against me. “You shouldn’t feel bad. We both had a pretty good idea she wouldn’t react well based on what Gregory said. My kids aren’t going to dictate who I date, Jamie.” There’s that no-arguments tone again. “They can voice their opinions, but it’s ultimately up to me and as long as you’re good to us, they don’t have anything to complain about anyway.” I rest my forehead against hers. “And you’ve been good to me and good to my kids because you’ve worried about how this will affect them. I want you to stick around.”

  She nods. “Okay. And I don’t flirt with everyone. Dax let me read over his notes before a test and I thanked him just like she showed. I don’t know why she thinks that’s flirty.” Jamie manages to keep her tone in the realm of confusion and not accusatory.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  Her smile is lopsided and her laugh is half-hearted. “At least you can reassure her that you won’t start a new family with me.”

  Did I feel pain earlier for kicking my little girl out because now, I want to yell at her. That was one of the last things she said before I cut her off and Jamie didn’t forget it.

  “You could also tell her that my family has money, so I don’t need yours,” Jamie adds before I can apologize on behalf of my daughter. “That was all she said, right?”

  “Don’t worry about Kayla, okay?”

  Th
ere’s a knock on the door and it’s tempting to groan. “Dad? Is it safe to come in?” Gregory calls from the other side.

  “Yeah,” I call back as I grab my shirt and slip it on.

  “Hey, Dad. Hey, Jamie,” Gregory says as he walks into the living room and drops his duffel bag next to the recliner as he takes a seat.

  “Hey, Gregory,” Jamie says with a little wave.

  “I didn’t feel like attending church with them, so I came back early,” he explains. “I tried calling.”

  “My phone’s upstairs. Have you had breakfast yet?”

  “You know Mrs. Jenkins isn’t going to let me leave on an empty stomach.” Gregory rubs his stomach with exaggeration. “She fixes a feast every Sunday morning,” he tells Jamie. “I’ve asked her if I could move in just for those breakfasts, but she thinks my mom will miss me.” Gregory rolls his eyes and Jamie laughs.

  “We’re going to get dressed.” I stand and Jamie does as well. “You want to hang here today or was there something you wanted to do?”

  “You two aren’t going to do something?”

  “Our date was last night.”

  Jamie mumbles something and heads for the stairs as Gregory says, “Yet, she’s still here, so looks like you’re still on the date, Dad.” He grins and winks, mouthing way to go.

  “Don’t be a jackass, Gregory.” I follow Jamie upstairs, slightly irritated that both of my kids managed to ruin my morning with Jamie. The shower is running and Jamie is nowhere to be seen, so it’s easy to deduce she’s in there. While I grab my clothes, I decide my morning doesn’t have to be completely ruined.

  Outside of the bathroom door, I knock lightly and ask, “Mind if I join you?”

  “Seriously, Brent? He’ll know!”

  “No, he won’t. And we’re not going to do anything,” I promise.

  After a moment, she says, “The door’s unlocked.”

  Not even a minute later, I’m in the shower with her and she’s shaking her head at me. “We’ll just turn the shower off and then run it for a few minutes more to make it seem like I took a shower after you. Problem solved. You doing okay?”