Risk

by Marissa Holan

  I woke up the next morning and stretched out on my bed.

  "Mmm…Good morning, baby," Caden whispered in my ear behind me as his arms snaked around my waist. His words sent instant chills through my whole body.

  "Good morning." I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck enthusiastically. "Can we just stay like this all day?" I asked as I trailed kisses up his neck.

  "I wish. But we played hooky yesterday, time to face the music." He kissed my forehead, got out of bed, and headed toward the living room. Of course I knew what he was talking about. I needed to end things with Derrick. I got out of bed and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand. I wasn't tacky enough to end it in a text message, but I was too much of a coward to end it in person. So I settled on a happy medium: a phone call. I closed my bedroom door for some privacy.

  About a half hour later I emerged from my bedroom feeling like crap. I sulked all the way to the kitchen where Jack and Caden were finishing their breakfast. Caden eyed me warily.

  "Your breakfast is warming in the oven," Caden said as he picked up his and Jack's plate and walked them to the sink.

  "I'm not hungry," I grumbled.

  Caden let out a sigh, grabbed my hand, and pulled me to the couch. "You okay?" he asked a bit awkwardly. Was he trying to console me after a breakup? That was so twisted.

  I rolled my eyes. "I'm not upset about the breakup, Caden." I looked at him incredulously. "I just don't like upsetting people. I'm very non confrontational."

  "How'd he take it?" His words sounded sympathetic but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. He was loving this.

  "It took me like ten minutes to work up the courage." I shrugged. "He was very mature about it." I scowled at that thought. That had been what I liked about him, but now I wished he had been a jerk so I didn't feel so guilty.

  Caden scooped me up onto his lap and nuzzled his nose against mine. "Thank you," he whispered.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did you think I wouldn't?" I leaned my head back to look at him.

  "I…" He shrugged. "I didn't know if maybe you would wake up this morning and…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

  "And what? Forget that I've been in love with you for the last five months?" I said a little bit more irritably than I intended.

  His eyebrows shot up. "The last five months, huh?" He smirked.

  "At least you're not cocky." I rolled my eyes.

  Caden left to go change his clothes before his first class while I got Jack and myself ready for the day. As soon as I grabbed Jack's backpack it hit me.

  "Hey, buddy." I kneeled down to his level and smiled at him. "You slept pretty good last night, didn't you?" I asked him hopefully. He gave me a bright smile and nodded. "Did you squeeze your teddy bear like Caden taught you?"

  "Yup, I squeezed Daddy-bear. I love Daddy-bear," he said as he impatiently headed toward the front door. "Let's go, Mama!"

  It took me a few seconds to snap out of it, but when I did I led Jack to the car and helped him in his car seat. My cheeks were starting to hurt from the massive smile I was sporting.

  I dropped Jack off as quickly as possible in the hopes of avoiding an awkward run in with Derrick. I pulled into the university parking lot and practically ran to the library doors. I signed in and started immediately organizing books. Caden was still at his morning class so I had some time to gather my thoughts. I was over the moon happy that Caden's incredibly thoughtful gift had helped Jack, and of course it was because of that gift that we had finally admitted our feelings to each other. I was jittery with anticipation. I wanted to throw myself at him and smother him in hugs and kisses, but then I remembered that nobody knew about us yet. I hoped it didn't change the dynamic of our group. I suddenly felt anxious as I looked over at Caden's table where the guys had already started to gather around.

  About twenty minutes later, Caden walked into the library looking gloriously sexy and happy. He pulled up a chair between Taylor and Mike and eased right into the conversation they were having. I walked back to the front desk and put an empty book cart next to a full book cart and headed over to them. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. Were we 'official'? Were we telling people? The nerves were pulling at my insides. As I made my way closer to the table, Caden caught my eye and gave me a knowing grin.

  "Hey, guys," I said as casually as I could. Before anyone could respond, I was jerked by my wrist and fell into Caden's lap.

  "Hey, baby," he cooed before he planted a very long, very intimate kiss on my lips. His lips were so soft and he smelled so good, I almost forgot we were surrounded by a table of Caden's frat brothers; I kissed him back eagerly.

  I guessed we were telling people.

  He released me from the kiss and gave me a smug victorious smile. I shifted so I was sitting more comfortably on his lap. Since he seemed to be having so much fun with it, I thought what the heck, if you can't beat 'em…

  "Hey, sexy." I winked at him and skimmed my nose along his jaw. He cocked an amused eyebrow at me. Satisfied with our announcement, Caden and I both looked up at the table.

  Crickets.

  I bit my lip as I took in the shocked open-mouthed stares that were looking back at us. Before Caden and I could say a word, the table erupted in grumbles and cheers as money exchanged hands. I gaped at them as Caden threw his head back in a roar of laughter.

  "You bet on us?" I squealed.

  "Why couldn't you two get your crap together last month?" Mike bellowed as he slammed a wad of cash on the table. "Now I'm out a hundred bucks!" The other guys at the table started grumbling similar grievances. I looked over at Taylor who was counting the pile of bills in front of him with a triumphant smile. I narrowed my eyes at him. He shrugged and winked before he went back to counting his winnings. I couldn't help but giggle.

  "Sorry, boys. Gotta get back to work." I chuckled as I slid off of Caden's lap.

  "See you at lunch?" Caden asked, his hand still lingering on my hip.

  "Yes, please." I smiled and bent down to kiss him.

  "Mmm…love you, baby," he said against my lips. I smiled and flushed in embarrassment.

  The table of guys fell silent again before Taylor started laughing and giving everyone at the table a 'give it up' gesture with both his hands. The entire table grumbled as they pulled out their wallets again.

  "Seriously?" I stomped my foot.

  "Hey, Caden Tate dropping the L-bomb is some pigs flying hell frozen over kind of shit," one of the guys said as he looked down at his now empty wallet. "I thought for sure I'd win that one," he muttered. I looked back at Taylor, who was grabbing his chest in fits of silent laughter. He was really raking it in.

  "You'd better buy me something pretty," I said to Taylor before I stomped off to the cart of books. I could hear the laughter and the multitude of hushed "congrats man", "it's about time", and "I'm stoked for you, Cade" from the table, so I couldn't stay irritated for long. I actually felt a bit relieved that everyone was so accepting of our new relationship.

  When lunchtime finally came, I grabbed my purse and practically skipped over to Caden's table.

  "Ready, sweetheart?" Caden stood up and wrapped his arm around my waist. My stomach fluttered at the endearment. It was going to take a while to get used to it.

  "Yes, I'm starving." I tucked my arm under his and around his waist. "Can we go to that café you took me to on my first day?" I batted my eyelashes at him.

  "Anything you want," he replied with an adoring smile.

  "Get a room!" half of the guys at the table said in stereo before they started launching crumpled up balls of notebook paper at us. Caden and I laughed and hurried out of the library.

  We walked hand in hand down the sidewalk to the library. I was gazing up at Caden's adorable face, totally enraptured in the story he was telling me about some antics that went on in his morning class when suddenly our pleasant stroll was interrupted by a sneering voice.

  "Well isn't this just precious," Amanda said venomously, cross
ing her arms.

  "Amanda," Caden greeted her with nod.

  "Lying sack of crap," she greeted him back with mock sweetness. I looked up at him just as he rolled his eyes. I knew this must have been uncomfortable for him, especially since I knew she had suspected his feelings for me all along.

  "Nothing happened until after you two broke up," I interjected, hoping to ease any insecurity she had. I don't know why I cared; I guessed I just didn't want to feel like a home wrecker. She turned her scolding glare to me and scoffed.

  "I couldn't care less when Caden decided to lower his standards."

  Her words stung. I'd never considered myself particularly insecure, but the thought that Caden was out of my league had crossed my mind more than once.

  "Enough!" Caden scolded Amanda; she stepped back at his unexpected temper. Caden's hostile glare softened into an adoring smile as he turned to me. "Let's go, baby," he said softly as he placed his hand at the small of my back and led me around Amanda. We walked in silence the rest of the way to the café. When we finally ordered our food and settled into the red booths, Caden let out a sigh and massaged the bridge of his nose like he had a headache.

  "I'm sorry about that, Kit."

  "About what, your ex?" I asked, confused. She was mean, but it wasn't like I wasn't expecting something like that to happen eventually.

  "I didn't like the way she spoke to you." His serious gaze held mine. "You know I think you are the most amazing most beautiful woman on the face of the planet, don't you?" He narrowed his eyes as he waited for my answer. Was he serious? Sheesh, overreact much?

  "Caden, I really don't care that your ex is pissed," I said flatly. "Honestly, I don't blame her; I would be too if I was her." I reached across the table and placed my hand on his forearm. "I don't care what she says." I gave him a reassuring smile. Our food came and he seemed to relax. We ate our lunch and made plans for the evening. It was almost strange sitting across from Caden knowing we were a couple. I had sat and ate with him a thousand times before, but the hum of energy between us was so drastically different now. It would be uncomfortable if it wasn't so exciting.

  Caden gave me a piggy-back ride back to the library and I laughed so hard I almost peed my house. I smacked a million kisses on his cheek and his neck between the café and the library.

  By the time the end of the day rolled around, I picked up Jack and headed back to our apartment in a flash. When I pulled up to my parking spot, I noticed Caden's SUV was already there. I let out an excited giggle as I helped Jack out of his booster seat. Caden got out of the massive SUV when he spotted us. Jack's eyes widened and he squirmed out of my arms to run to Caden.

  "Hey, champ!" Caden knelt down to hug Jack. I'd seen Caden interact with Jack a million times, but now that we were together, there was something heavier about it. Something deeper. Caden scooped Jack up and effortlessly held him with one arm as he strolled over to me.

  "How was your day?" he asked as he kissed my forehead.

  "It was wonderful." I beamed up at him. He grabbed my hand and led us to the door of my apartment. I made my way to the kitchen to start prepping for dinner. Caden sat on the couch and pulled out his laptop to study for his finals.

  "How does chicken parmesan sound?" I hollered from the kitchen.

  "Sound delicious, can I help?" Caden replied dutifully. I smiled to myself.

  "No thanks," I replied. "I finish your homework." I opened a can of tomato sauce.

  After about twenty minutes, the chicken was finally in the oven. I wiped my hands on a dishtowel and made my way to the living room.

  "Dinner will be ready in about a half hour," I announced to Jack and Caden, who both just nodded. Boys.

  "Hey, babe, come check this out," Caden said excitedly. I sat next to him on the couch and leaned over him to see the screen of his laptop. It was a real estate listing for a house. A huge house. A gorgeous, huge house.

  "You're buying a house?" I asked, a little confused.

  Caden shrugged. "I'm done at the end of the year. I can't live in the frat house forever," he said nonchalantly. "And I'm definitely not moving back in with my mom," he muttered. I guess it made sense.

  "That one's kind of big, don't you think?" I said wide eyed as I perused the massive two story cobblestone house.

  "Well…" he started to say, sounding a little nervous. I eyed him skeptically. "It's not that big when you count you and Jack." He bit his lip as he waited for my reaction.

  "What?" I shrieked. "Are you crazy?"

  "Yes. About you and Jack," he said matter-of-factly.

  "We've been together for like…twenty four hours!"

  "Oh come on, Kit," he said. "Don't act like we just met, we've been best friends for a long time. We know each other." He paused, taking a deep breath. "It's not like we're strangers who started dating. This," he gestured between us, "is for real."

  I closed my eyes and let his words sink in. He put his laptop aside and cupped my face with both of his hands. I opened my eyes to meet his burning gaze.

  "I want to wake up to you every morning," he said, "and I want to help you put Jack to bed every night."

  "Caden…" His words slid over me, coaxing me, but I had to be honest with him. I swallowed hard and took his hands from my face and held them in my lap. "I've only been with one person my entire life," I admitted sheepishly. "And that was after we were married." I looked down at our hands, too embarrassed to look at him. "I won't be with anyone…like that, unless I'm married." I gave a nervous laugh. "I know it's old fashioned, but it's important to me." I peeked up at Caden nervously.

  To my surprise he looked amused. "Oh, baby." He grazed his finger from my temple to my jaw. "Don't you think I know that already?" He smirked.

  I frowned. "You did?" I asked, a little bit confused.

  "Give me some credit, Kit. I'm not an idiot."

  "I just know that you don't feel the same about these things. I know you're very…active." I cringed at my choice of words.

  His amused grin widened. "Correction, was active." He chuckled. "I promise you I will not cross the line." His tone turned serious. "Not until there's a ring on your finger."

  I inhaled a sharp breath; his words were really doing a number on me this evening. "But you just said you wanted to move in together."

  "So?" He shrugged like he wasn't making the connection. I gave him a don't-be-dense look and he rolled his eyes. "I've already slept in your bed…more than once," he reminded me. "And I don't plan on stopping now. So we can either wake up together here," he gestured around the apartment, "or there." He gestured to his laptop. "Either way, I'm not going another night without you."

  I was overwhelmed with the emotions that were running through me. Part of me was screaming 'yes! Pack your bags!' and another part of me was screaming 'this is crazy! It's too soon!' I let out a frustrated sigh; I really didn't want to think about this anymore.

  "Can we talk about this later?" I asked. "I think I need some time to process it." He shot me a sly wink and I settled next to him and flipped on the TV. When the oven beeped I headed to the kitchen to pull out the chicken parm while Caden took Jack to the bathroom to wash his hands for dinner. It occurred to me then that Caden had a point. We already knew each other so well; we had our own rhythm. I placed the baking dish on the stove to cool off then closed my eyes and remembered all the times that Caden took care of us. How attentive he was to us, how in tuned with our needs he was. Over the past few months he had fed Jack and washed his hands before meals, and played with him, and taught him. He helped him sleep. My chest tightened as I remembered the 'daddy bear' he had made for Jack. I shook my head, refusing to let any tears escape my eyes. Caden and Jack walked into the kitchen and I sat Jack down at the table and kissed his cheek. I turned around and threw my arms around Caden.

  "I love you so much," I said as I practically squeezed the life out of him. Caden seemed a little startled by my sudden outburst of affection.

  "I love you too, babe."
He gasped. "…can't…breathe."

  Chapter 10

  After dinner we put Jack to bed and made a B-line to my bedroom, giggling like a couple of teenagers.

  "I guess you're going to have to start bringing some extra clothes with you when you come over," I said against his lips as he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up.

  "They're in the car." He grinned as he tossed me onto the bed. He practically pounced on top of me and continued kissing me.

  "That was very presumptuous of you." I smiled against his lips and shifted so we were lying on our sides facing each other.

  "I wouldn't have to be presumptuous if we lived together," he said.

  "Just shut up and kiss me." I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to me, effectively silencing him.

  The next few weeks were amazing. Caden stayed the night pretty much every night, never missing an opportunity to compare it to us living together. To my surprise and delight, he kept his word and never crossed the line. In fact, he was usually the one to bring things to a halt when it started getting hot and heavy. He wouldn't even stay in the bedroom when I was taking a shower. I, on the other hand, was not so noble; I took advantage of any opportunity to catch a glimpse of Caden in a towel. He usually called me a perv and said he felt violated.

  He loved it.

  Because Caden spent most if not all of his free time at my apartment, his frat brothers eventually started coming over to hang out with him. I didn't mind at all. Having a bunch of guys loitering in my apartment was actually kind of comforting, like I was building my own little family. A smelly, crude, foul mouthed family. It was also nice that Kevin was in Caden's frat, so he spent a good amount of time at my apartment, which was nice for Lizzy. It warmed my heart how everyone took to Jack, like he was our group's little mascot or something. They all gave him high fives and fist bumps when they came in.

  After everyone was finished with finals, and nobody had classes to go to; my apartment became the hangout spot. I hadn't realized before how central Caden was to our group of friends. Everyone wanted to be where he was, and he wouldn't leave my side, which meant we were all crammed into my tiny apartment. Of course Caden just thought it was one more reason we should move in together.