Risk

by Marissa Holan

  There were students that still took summer classes so the library was still open, which meant that while everyone was lying around enjoying the sunny days, I was at work. After about a week of nonstop harassment, Caden and Lizzy talked me into pulling Jack out of daycare so they could watch him while I worked. I was adamantly against it until Jack overheard me arguing with them and started crying that he wanted to stay with 'auntie Izzie and Caden'. Caden and Lizzy both smirked triumphantly and high fived each other. They fought dirty. At least I knew that he was with people who loved him and it was nice to have one less financial burden to think about.

  "Kit, you don't have to work, I can take care of us," Caden had said during one of our arguments. We really only fought about two things: me working at the library, and us moving in together.

  "Caden, I'm not a gold digger. I don't want your money. I need to be able to take care of me and Jack on my own," I pleaded with him to understand, but he just huffed in frustration.

  "Kit, you need to finish school! You can't do both," he kept repeating.

  "Yes I can. It won't be easy but I can do it." I crossed my arms, sulking. He wasn't budging so I decided to pull out the big guns. "Don't you believe in me?" I gave him my best wounded puppy dog look. It instantly disarmed him. He wrapped me in a tight hug and sighed.

  "Of course I believe in you, Kit." He hugged me and swayed me back and forth. "You are the most amazing person I know. You can do anything." He pulled back so he could look me in the eyes. "But you don't have to do it on your own." He brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes and tucked it behind my ear. His words made my insides flutter, but there was no way I was going to quit work and let Caden take care of me and Jack. We'd only been officially together for just over a month; I was afraid if we didn't slow down, we would burn out.

  One Sunday morning I woke up alone. I lazily climbed out of bed and walked down the hall to check on Jack, who was still sleeping and drooling on his pillow. I made my way to the kitchen to find Caden just getting off his phone.

  "Sorry, sweetheart. Did I wake you?" He stood up to meet me in the hallway.

  "No." I yawned and wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest.

  "Morning, love birds!" Lizzie's voice startled me. I snapped up and looked around. Lizzy strolled through the front door all dressed up; she smiled at Caden knowingly. I narrowed my eyes and looked back and forth between my best friend and my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I still wasn't used to it.

  "What's going on?" I asked suspiciously.

  Caden bit his lip as Lizzy squealed in delight.

  "We're having Sunday brunch at the mansion!" Lizzy announced and started bouncing giddily. I glared at Caden who was looking adorably guilty.

  "No." I let go of Caden and crossed my arms defiantly. "I'm not going, and you can't make me." I sounded like a petulant toddler.

  Lizzy's face fell instantly. "Why not?" she stomped her six inch stiletto.

  "Because there is no way I can face Caden's mother." I shuddered at the thought. Caden and Lizzy traded glances and simultaneously rolled their eyes.

  "Oh grow a pair, Kitrina," Lizzy huffed. "Besides, that's why I'm coming, to be a buffer." She shrugged a shoulder.

  "It's not like she doesn't know we're together," Caden pointed out. "I still don't understand this aversion you have to my family knowing about us." He frowned.

  "Come on, guys." I gave them a duh look. "I'm a single mom who hasn't finished college yet." I slumped. "They all think I'm some gold digging hussy."

  "Hey!" Caden snapped. "You're not single." He shot his eyebrows up challenging me. Lizzy elbowed him and rolled her eyes.

  "And you're not a gold digging hussy either," she chimed in, but she was looking at Caden when she said it.

  "What she said." Caden nodded in Lizzy's direction.

  I grumbled all the way back to the bathroom to take a shower. Stupid Sunday brunch with stupid rich people with Caden and his stupid beautiful face.

  I finish showering, dried my hair, and applied my makeup before heading to my closet to find something to wear. I finally decided on a pale pink and lime green sun dress and pink heels.

  We made our way to Caden's sprawling mansion. Lizzy looked out the window with wide eyes as she scanned every inch of the massive estate. I kept my eyes on Caden's hand that was resting on my thigh.

  Caden turned so he could see both me and Lizzy. "You ladies ready?"

  "Hell yeah!" Lizzy practically flew out of her seat belt. She unbuckled Jack and pulled him out of his booster and into her arms. "Come on, Jacky boy," She sang.

  Caden came around to the passenger side and opened my door for me. He held out his hand with an eager smile. I tried to smile back but I felt queasy. I didn't want to make our first official appearance as a couple at his mom's house. Sensing my hesitation, Caden leaned into the car and brushed a soft kiss against my cheek as he lightly pulled at my arm.

  "Don't be nervous, baby," he whispered in my ear. Every time he called me 'baby' my stomach did a cartwheel. I wondered if I'd ever get used to it. I gave him a thin smile and nodded. We walked to the front door hand in hand, with Lizzy and Jack practically bouncing beside us.

  "So lovely to see you again, Kitrina." Caden's mom greeted us with a warm smile.

  "Nice to see you too, Margaret." I returned her smile, suddenly very aware of Caden's hand in mine. I wasn't the only one. Margaret's eyes flickered to our joined hands and back up again almost imperceptibly. Her sweet smile never left her face.

  "Mother, this is our good friend Lizzy." Caden gestured to Lizzy.

  "It's so wonderful to meet one of Caden's friends." She smiled at Lizzy.

  "It's very nice to meet you, you have a gorgeous home," Lizzy gushed. Margaret seemed to relax a bit; apparently swooning over her wealth was the way to Margaret's heart.

  We made our way to the sitting room and Jack ran out the back door to play with the neighbor children. Caden and Margaret had walked off somewhere, leaving Lizzy and me alone, and Lizzy and I sat on a couch whispering and giggling about some over the top statue we noticed in the entryway.

  "I think a tour is in order." Lizzy looked at me mischievously.

  "I am absolutely not going to sneak around Caden's parents' house," I whispered.

  "Fine then." She shrugged "Take me to the ladies room."

  "Um, I have no idea where that is," I admitted.

  "Looks like we'll have to find it then!" Lizzy announced as she shot up and pulled me by the arm. Tricky girl.

  We walked with our arms linked out of the sitting room and up the giant semi circle staircase. Our steps became heavier as we reached the top. This place was intimidating. Floor to ceiling paintings with little lights at the top practically covered every wall.

  "Where do you think Caden's room is?" Lizzy whispered and then giggled. It was so eerily quiet I began to get nervous.

  "I don't know, Nancy Drew, but I think we should head back now." I tugged on Lizzy's arm but she just kept pulling us forward, peeking through doors along the way.

  "Jackpot." She snickered.

  Curiosity overrode my paranoia at that point and I let Lizzy lead us into what we assumed was Caden's room. The room was enormous. Cobalt blue covered the walls and massive white linen curtains hung from the floor to ceiling bay windows. A massive four poster bed jutted out from the wall and a flat screen TV hung from the wall directly across.

  "Holy rich people," Lizzy muttered in awe. "Why in the world does Caden live in the frat house?"

  Suddenly feeling guilty for invading Caden's privacy, I tried to tug on Lizzy's arm again. "I don't know, let's go downstairs and ask him," I said nervously.

  She rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Kitrina, it's not like he's never been alone in your apartment before."

  True, but still.

  Lizzy made her way to the massive bed and opened the drawer of the nightstand that stood next to it. I stayed near the door looking over my shoulder at every little noise I heard.
I didn't know why I was so nervous, but I felt like a little kid that was about to get caught doing something bad.

  Lizzy started rummaging. "Gum, pens…" she muttered, sifting through the drawer. "Maxim, Playboy, Playboy, Playboy…" She lifted her head, giving me a dry look then went back to rummaging. "Playboy, mail, Birthday cards…" She paused, furrowing her brows. She unfolded a piece of paper and narrowed her eyes. After a few seconds, her gaze lifted to mine, but she didn't say a word. The suspense was killing me and the look on her face was making me nervous.

  "What is it?" I asked as I left my post at the door and made my way to her. She just handed me the letter without a word. Confused, I took the letter and began to read it. I was instantly relieved to see a very official emblem at the top; at least it wasn't some scandalous love letter or anything like that. My eyes scanned the letterhead.

  "Yale School of Law?" I mumbled as I continued to read. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted…" I trailed off, reading the remainder of the letter in silence. Law School? Caden applied to Law School? I looked at Lizzy to see if any of this sounded familiar to her.

  She just shrugged, her eyes wide."He's never said anything."

  I looked at the date of the acceptance letter. It was three months ago. A knot in my chest formed. I started to get light headed so I mindlessly sat on the edge of Caden's bed.

  "Are you sure he never… said anything about this?" Lizzy asked hesitantly.

  I just shook my head. In the entire time I'd known Caden, he never said a word about going to Law School. I thought back to all of the late night phone conversations talking about life and the future. How many times had he sat on my couch for hours while I folded laundry and we just talked? I suddenly felt a twinge of betrayal. Did he keep this from me because he knew he would be moving? He knew I didn't want to get into a relationship because of what it might do to Jack if it ended. I felt sick. Lizzy picked up on my thoughts right away and snatched the letter from my hands and shoved it back in the drawer.

  "You were right, this was a bad idea." She pulled me up and dragged me out of the room. "People are probably wondering where we are." I let her pull me out of the room, too stunned to say anything.

  We headed down the stairs and Lizzy squeezed my hand. "Put on your big girl panties, Kitrina," she said. "You and Caden can talk about this at home…later." She gave me a pointed look. She was right. Caden's mom already had serious reservations about me; the last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene.

  We walked outside to the patio just as people were starting to take their seats at their tables.

  "There you two are." Caden came up behind us, placing a soft kiss on my temple. "I hope you ladies are hungry." He smiled as he led us to our table. He pulled out two chairs and gestured for us to have a seat. Then he jogged down the steps to the grassy area where the children were playing. He swooped up Jack and playfully threw him over his shoulder. Jack giggled and squealed in delight. Caden sat Jack between him and Lizzy.

  We all sat down and waited for our table's turn to dish up. Caden and Lizzy struck up a conversation with an older couple. Absently, Caden's hand found mine and held it, gently grazing his thumb over my fingers. I looked at our joined hands and was filled with sadness. How could he not tell me?

  "Everything okay, babe?" Caden whispered as he leaned his head down to mine.

  "Yeah…yes, everything is fine." I smiled, hoping it looked genuine. Caden studied me for a moment then nodded. He went back to his conversation but kept his hold on my hand. I started thinking about the future. About us.

  We made it through breakfast and a slightly awkward farewell to his mother and stepfather before we headed back to the SUV.

  "I am stuffed." Lizzy blew out a breath and patted her tummy. "That was an epic breakfast, Caden. Thanks for letting me tag along."

  Caden looked over his shoulder from the driver's seat and beamed. "Anytime, Lizzy. It's awesome having my two best girls with me." He shot me a sidelong wink.

  "Quit buttering me up, Tate." Lizzy paused and looked up thoughtfully. "On second thought, no. It's cool. Keep going." Caden chuckled as he put the SUV in gear and started driving.

  When we reached Lizzy's car, Caden put the SUV in park and hopped out to open the door for her. She smacked him playfully on the shoulder, muttering something about chivalry and man-whores. He chuckled and gave her friendly parting hug. She blew a kiss to Jack and waved at me, giving me a talk to him look before turning to her car. We pulled into the parking spot near the front of my apartment and got out. Caden unbuckled Jack and carried him to the front door. The minute we walked into the apartment Jack wiggled out of Caden's arms and ran to his room to play.

  Just as I was gathering my nerve to admit that I had been snooping and found the letter, Caden's phone buzzed. He pulled it out and looked at the text with a frown. "What is it?" I leaned over to take a peek.

  "Uh…my mom needs me to go back to the house." He shook his head, confused. "Something about filling out paperwork for my trust." He blew out an irritated breath. "I guess I'll be back in an hour," He declared as he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left. I decided it was a good thing; it gave me time to think and figure out how I was going to approach the subject.

  I figured I'd get started on folding the laundry. Yay me. I flipped on the TV for some background noise and separated my clothes from Jack's. About twenty minutes later there was a knock on my door. I stood up, climbed over the mound of clothes, and headed to the door. My throat closed as I peered through the peephole.

  What. The. Hell.

  Chapter 11

  I opened the door and smiled politely. "Hi Margaret."

  She gave me a tight smile in response; her perfectly manicured fingers clutched her Prada handbag tight to her side as she shot quick glances over her shoulder. I bit my cheek to keep from rolling my eyes. It wasn't a bad neighborhood. Miss I-don't-go-anywhere-that-doesn't-have-valet was apparently a bit dramatic.

  "May I?" She gestured inside my apartment.

  "Uh…sure, yes of course." I opened the door to let her in. "Sorry about the mess, Sundays are usually my cleaning days." A nervous laugh slipped out. I moved some of the clothes over so she could sit on the sofa. She hesitated for a moment and then sat down. Her eyes darted around my apartment. By the way she pursed her lips, she did not approve.

  She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. "No use in beating around the bush, Kitrina." She lifted her chin. "how much will it cost to keep you away from my son?" She reached into her handbag and pulled out a massive black wallet. She placed it on her lap and folded her hands over it neatly.

  I just sat there, blinking.

  "Excuse me?" I finally choked out after I stopped staring at her like she just killed a puppy.

  She shifted uncomfortably and exhaled an irritated breath. "Listen, Kitrina, I'm sure you're a nice girl, but we both know it's not in Caden's best interest to be saddled with such…responsibilities at this point in his life." She tried sounding as diplomatic as possible, but I knew 'responsibilities' was code for Jack. I took a deep breath to calm myself so I didn't start pulling out her hair and cussing. Probably not the best way to prove to her I was mature and rational.

  "Margaret…" I started slowly, reining in my temper. "With all due respect," go eff yourself , "I think that is up to Caden to decide."

  "We both know boys at this age don't make the best decisions." She eyed me for a moment. "Do you realize he is giving up law school to stay here, with you?" She arched a challenging brow. Part of me was glad I had snooped earlier. I would have hated to find out for the first time from her.

  My face stayed completely devoid of shock. My turn to be diplomatic. "I do not tell Caden what to do. he makes his own choices."

  "Kitrina, dear…" She placed one of her hands over mine and looked me in the eyes. Her face softened a bit."When Jack is older, you will understand. He's my baby boy, I will do anything to protect him," She said softly. It was the fi
rst time she had spoken without acid in her voice. I should have been furious that she brought my son into this, but I couldn't help but think she had a point. I would burn the world down to protect my child.

  I looked down at her diamond clad hand and shook my head. "I don't want your money."

  "I know you care for him, dear. Please don't let him throw away his future—everything he's worked so hard for." She squeezed my hand until I looked at her. "Caden's father was an attorney. A Yale graduate in fact." She tilted her head to see if I understood the magnitude of that. When she realized that I did, she went on, "I haven't been the best mother in the world." She pulled her hand back and smoothed her hair. "And heaven knows Caden has always hated me for remarrying." She sighed as if she was reliving a painful memory. "I'm sure Caden applied to law school to get back at me. To make a point that he wanted to be like his father. Like he loved his father more than me." Her words cracked and I looked up to find her eyes shining. "Of course I knew it wasn't just about spiting me, he loved the law."

  She looked off in the distance as she spoke, a small smile tinting her lips. "When he was younger I would find him reading old briefs that his father had written. He used to watch old reruns of Law & Order and pretend he was watching his father." She let out a quiet chuckle. "I let him think that it hurt me. On some level it did, but the truth of the matter is…" She paused to swallow and regain her composure. "Caden becoming like his father would be the greatest gift to me." She smiled, hoping she was reaching me. And damn it, she was. "So you understand why I cannot let him do this to himself." She took an unsteady breath. "I apologize if I offended you with trying to pay you off." She almost sounded sincere. "It's just that I'll do anything, Kitrina." She met my gaze again. "Just like you will too someday." She gestured her head toward the hall where we could hear Jack playing.