Playing Pretend

by Bester, Tamsyn

Caleb took my hands in his, and kept his eyes on me when my dress fell to the floor. His gaze lowered, traveling over my strapless bra, down my torso, pausing at the nakedness between my legs, and then back up. He licked his bottom lip, and ever so slowly brought his hands behind my back to unclasp my bra. I wasn’t by any means busty, and my nipples looked rosier against my creamy skin, but some part of me, albeit a very large part, still wanted Caleb to like what he saw. I wanted him to react to my body the way I reacted to his, and I knew if he didn’t, it would be a significant blow to my ego.

  I looked away, feeling self-conscious.

  “Don’t do that,” said Caleb, lifting my face. “You have a gorgeous body.”

  “You make me nervous,” I blurted out. Talk about smooth.

  “I don’t want you to be nervous.” Caleb lowered his head, and licked my neck. “I want you to give in. To me.”

  My eyes flickered shut at the feel of his wet lips hovering over my pulse.

  “Say yes,” he hedged, moving his mouth lower. “Give me this one night.”

  That was the moment I should have thought about it, and come to my senses, but my mind was no longer in control of my actions. Instead, everything I did and said was borne of the desire to have a fantasy fulfilled, to not only have Caleb, but also to allow myself to give in to my baser need to be had by him.

  “Okay.” I let out a breath, and gripped Caleb’s arms when he started suckling the hollow of my throat. It wasn’t long before he brought his mouth back to mine, his hands leaving my body to unbutton his shirt. I thought he was getting naked, but instead he slid his shirt off and settled it over my shoulders. I frowned, wondering if he’d changed his mind already.

  “Not here.” He spoke softly, and lifted me in his arms before I could form a protest. I’d been living with Caleb for almost two months, and had never once set foot in his bedroom. I’d been curious, but sneaking in there to take a look while he was at work was too big an invasion of his privacy, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He walked out of the guest bedroom, down the hallway, past the nursery and around the corner. He stopped in front of a set of double doors, and bent down to open them with me still in his arms. The moment the doors opened, the room was bathed in muted light, illuminating the warm clay-colored walls. A giant California King bed sat against the far wall, the light brown leather base and headboard matching the laminate flooring. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined the entire right side of the room, with the Empire State building in the distance.

  That was as much as I paid attention to.

  Caleb stopped in front of the bed, and slowly lowered me until I was on my back. He leaned over me, and I lifted my hands to trace his ink. His body was like a living, breathing canvas with colors swirling over his entire chest, and taut stomach, crawling up his arms and around his shoulders too. He was beautiful, and so very masculine that his body radiated enough pheromones to light me on fire from the inside out.

  “I’ve lost count of the times I imagined you in my bed,” he said. “And yet nothing I ever could have imagined came close to how you look right now.”

  I tried not to show my insecurity, but my smile did little to hide the fact that I felt lacking in comparison to Caleb. I wasn’t a virgin, but sex with my ex-fiancé was always about him, and I never got what all the fuss about. Now though, I found myself wanting to please Caleb in every way, and I feared that the experience would be nothing more than average for him.

  Caleb, being the perceptive man that he was, caught my apprehension, and his brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  Kneeling between my legs, hands resting on my thighs, Caleb pulled me closer until I was spread over his legs. I had to hand it to him though, he had the perfect view of my pussy, and still managed to keep his eyes on mine.

  “You’re not a virgin are you?” he asked. I wanted to laugh at his horrified expression, like the thought of being my first disgusted him, but when I tried to move away from him and cover myself, he lowered his upper body and pinned me to the bed.

  “No.”

  “Then what are you hiding?”

  I hesitated, and then, “Nothing.”

  With pursed lips, and a dubious expression, Caleb searched my eyes with his, as if he could somehow read my mind. I was grateful he couldn’t because I was in fact hiding something, and it was too embarrassing to share, especially if we were about to have sex.

  “I’ll get it out of you one way or another,” said Caleb. “But either way, you’re not leaving my bed tonight.”

  He moved his head closer, and stuck his tongue out to lick my lips before slanting his mouth over mine. His hands slid down my arms, and slowly removed the shirt. With determined fingers, he gripped my hips, and started rubbing his erection between my legs. I hated that he still had his pants on, but the fact was soon overlooked when a slow burn started building deep in my belly. I gasped, and held on to Caleb’s wrists as he continued to coax my body.

  I moaned into his mouth, and opened my eyes when the feeling became tighter, and more intense.

  I must’ve looked surprised because Caleb broke away and looked at me curiously. His hips slowed.

  “No,” I begged. “Please don’t stop.”

  With my lip between my teeth, I started rubbing myself against Caleb, feeling the hard length of him beneath his straining zipper.

  “Wait.” Caleb stilled me, and I wanted to curse him for robbing me of what would have been my first orgasm. Sure, I’d masturbated a few times, but never really came close to an honest-to-God orgasm. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very good at hiding that.

  “You said there was someone else.”

  “There was,” I panted. “I’m not a virgin.”

  God, could he just get on with it already?

  Caleb stared at me, and his silence is what had me huffing out in frustration. “I’ve never had an orgasm.”

  Silence.

  “It’s not a big deal,” I added, trying my damndest not to show just how mortified I was.

  Caleb grumbled. “Stay put. If you move, I will slap your ass until it’s pink.”

  He jumped from the bed, leaving me stunned with my mouth agape, and walked into the bathroom. I heard a drawer open, and close, and then the telltale sound of a belt buckle hitting the floor. I looked to the side just as he reappeared, wearing nothing but white boxer briefs tented by an impressive erection. In his hand was a string of Trojan condoms. He threw them next to me, and climbed back between my legs, a glint of male determination flashing in his eyes.

  “We’re using all of those?” I asked, my voice quiet, and a little nervous.

  “Depends,” replied Caleb. He threw his shirt from the bed, and spread my legs again. “I don’t know how much you can handle, but I’m sure as fuck going to find out.”

  With his one hand splayed on my inner thigh, Caleb sucked two of his fingers into his mouth and then started rubbing my clit. I sucked in a breath, grabbing a hold of the comforter and fisting the fabric.

  “Already so wet,” he murmured. He watched my face, the way my cheeks had started to redden, and the way my lids started to drop, and then looked at what his fingers were doing. I felt him finger my entrance, and when he slowly pushed his finger inside, my back arched, my knees bent a little more.

  “Mmmm,” I whimpered, squeezing my eyes closed. Caleb took that as an invitation to insert a second finger, and when the rough pad brushed up against my sensitive g-spot, I cried out.

  “Ssshhhh,” whispered Caleb. “You’re going to have stay quiet, sweet Kadence, or I’ll stop.”

  I shook my head, pleading with him not to stop, but didn’t dare speak in case he was serious about the threat. I was already so close, and if I didn’t get that release, get that earth-shattering moment, I was surely going to die.

  “Please,” I exhaled. “God, please Caleb.”

  Without another word, Caleb curled his fingers up, and pressed his thumb against my clit. He rubbed,
and rubbed, applying more and more pressure until I couldn’t take much more. That feeling of exquisite pleasure erupted between my legs and my body shook with delicious violence.

  Sweet Mother of all that is Holy.

  Every sense was heightened, and I was aware of every physical reaction, including every movement Caleb made. With my eyes closed, and my chest heaving, I felt the bed dip once, and then a second time before I heard the tearing of a wrapper. I wanted to open my eyes, and I tried, but between the rippling of my muscles, and the breathtaking tiredness that followed an orgasm, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  But when Caleb rubbed the blunt head of his erection through my pussy lips, and over my sensitive clit, my eyes shot open. He looked up, his gaze latching onto my wide-eyed stare, and slowly started pushing his cock inside me. Not once did he look away, and it was the most sensual and raw moment I’d ever experienced with another human being. My mouth opened, but nothing came out, and I felt the willingness with which my body opened to him. He slid out, his stomach tightening with restraint, and pushed back in. The stretch, so acute and yet so perfect, captured the very breath in my lungs, and robbed me of air. Caleb groaned, and then thrusted once, making the very tip of him touch me as deep as he could. The slight discomfort from his size didn’t last long. It was quickly replaced by a fullness so perfect, and unrestrained that I wondered how I could have never experienced it before.

  “Fuck.” Caleb looked down, his breathing heavy and uneven, and then he lifted his gaze back to me.

  “Okay?”

  I swallowed, and gave a slight nod, feeling overwhelmed by the multitude of feelings running through my limbs, and thoughts running through my head. I’d fantasized about sex with Caleb since I was seventeen years old, but I never could have prepared myself for how it would finally feel to have him inside me.

  In all honesty, it frightened me, and my greatest fear suddenly became that one night wouldn’t be enough, that I wouldn’t be the same when it was all over in the morning.

  Caleb started moving, and I shoved all those thoughts aside. I wasn’t about to ruin the experience by thinking about tomorrow. I wanted to be present, and feel everything as it happened.

  I hitched my knees under Caleb’s arms, and whimpered when the slight move changed his angle. He grunted, running his hands up my back, and bringing my breasts closer to his mouth. He sucked a pebbled nipple between his lips, and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out. It was sensory overload, the way he pushed his hard cock inside me, the way his hands kneaded my back, the way his tongue lavished my nipples.

  I wanted more, but I also wanted him to slow down so that we could savor it. Catching on to the way my own rhythm slowed, Caleb popped a nipple from his mouth, and kissed me hard. I held onto his neck, and kissed him back, and when we parted purely out of necessity, he said, “I want to slow down, but fuck Kadence, I don’t think I can.”

  “Then d-don’t,” I stuttered. “Show me what you want.”

  Caleb’s eyes flared, and he sat back as he took hold of my hips. He pushed into me, hard, again and again until I was a writhing, sweaty mess clawing at his body in desperate need of release. He teased me, relentlessly making my body bow to his every whim, and when I finally broke, it was magnificent. Caleb silenced my cry with a searing kiss, and then his body tensed. He shook, wrapped his hand behind my neck, and triggering a second orgasm for me. He panted, and after a few minutes released me from his hold. He gently wiped the tears falling from my temples, and gave me a sated smile.

  “You have five minutes to catch your breath.” He slapped my butt, and then muffled my cry. “It’s going to be a long night.”

  I ROLLED OVER, and shied away when the warmth of the sun hit my face. I inhaled, recognizing the distinct smell of Caleb’s cologne combined with a long night of sex, and smiled into the sheets tangled around my body. I stretched, wincing slightly when I moved my legs, and opened my eyes. I blinked away the harsh rays of light, and looked around, allowing the memories from the night before to replay in my mind.

  Caleb was right about it being a long night. We hadn’t fallen asleep until around 4 a.m. and despite the exhaustion, I was deeply satisfied. I finally understood what all the fuss about, why women often complained when they were left orgasm-less after a night of rolling in the sheets. It was addictive, that explosive high, and well worth the effort to get there. Not that it took Caleb much to get me there. The man played me – and my clitoris – like a fine tuned instrument, and God, did my body sing.

  I sat up, clutching the sheet to my chest, and frowned when I realized that I was very much alone. It was a colossal bed, but Caleb had been next to me from the moment we collapsed into a sweaty heap of tangled limbs, and racing hearts. I spied the wrappers on the floor, all five of them, and covered my mouth to smother my unexpected giggle.

  Jebus Christ on a cracker.

  Five times?

  No wonder my vagina felt like it had been in a war.

  Not that I was complaining about Caleb’s enthusiasm.

  I stood up – definitely going to need to soak in the bath – and picked Caleb’s shirt up off the floor. It was a gorgeous morning, and I was grateful to have the day off work. I slipped into the bathroom, tended to business, and then went in search of the man of the hour. I frowned when I saw that Braelynn wasn’t in the nursery, and headed into the kitchen next. Caleb was packing Braelynn’s bag, and talking on the phone in a hushed tone until he saw me walk in. I smiled, feeling a little giddy after our night together, but he didn’t return it. In fact, he barely acknowledged me before he ended his call.

  “Caleb?”

  My stomach sank when he didn’t respond.

  I waited for him to say something, but he just carried on packing Braelynn’s things. Then I noticed a black overnight bag on the floor next to the carrier Braelynn was in.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, looking between Caleb, and Braelynn. Little Miss was fast asleep, and blissfully unaware of the turmoil I was feeling because of her daddy, and the same turmoil he was obviously feeling because of me. What I couldn’t understand was what had happened between the time we’d eventually gone to bed, and now.

  “I’m taking Braelynn to the Hamptons for a few days to see my father.” Caleb kept his attention on Braelynn’s bottles, which were already tucked into the bag. It was clear he was just looking for an excuse to avoid looking at me, and it was pitiful that fiddling with baby bottles was the best he could come up with.

  “Is this about last night?”

  When Caleb stilled, I clenched my fists. “It is isn’t it?”

  Nothing.

  Indignation fused its way into my bloodstream, making my pulse skitter. His jaw ticked, and when he could finally work past his cowardice to look at me, the mien in his eyes was like a wrecking ball to my self-esteem. It was contrition, guilt, and oh God, pity.

  “Alfie will be here all weekend,” Caleb ignored my question. “Make sure he goes with you if you go out. I’ve left money in your bedside drawer if you need anything, or if there’s an emergency.” Caleb cleared his throat and my eyes burned.

  I will not cry. The fucker doesn’t deserve to see me cry.

  “The issue with Jennifer has been resolved too, and if she so much as breathes your name to the press she will be fired. You won’t have to worry about her again.”

  “You’re just going to leave without talking to me?”

  The crack in my voice gave Caleb pause, but then he picked up a sleeping Braelynn and walked into the atrium where he passed his overnight bag to Terminator One.

  Caleb sighed, and could barely look me in the eye when he spoke to me over my shoulder. “Last night was a mistake. It should never have happened.”

  My mouth opened, but my throat had dried to the point where even swallowing was difficult. I didn’t know what to say, so I stood there, watching stupidly as Caleb stepped into the elevator and disappeared behind the silver doors. I saw my reflection, and even wi
th the distortion caused by the metal I could still see how piteous I looked, dressed in Caleb’s white dress shirt from the night before with my messy hair and nothing more.

  I shook my head, wondering how I could have been so credulous as to expect any other kind of reaction from Caleb, or how I could have been so trusting. He must’ve thought me an easy target, and in all likelihood said exactly what I wanted to hear just to get me to spread my legs. I should have been relieved to hear about Jennifer, but Caleb’s regretful disposition and cool reception was at the forefront of my mind, and if given the choice, I would rather have all my dirty laundry gracing every newspaper in the country than be on such precarious terms with Caleb. I was the one who was supposed to be weird after what we both decided would be a one-night-stand, but instead he was the one running. And by the looks of it he couldn’t get away fast enough.

  With a tremulous breath, I pivoted on my bare heels and walked through the soundless penthouse to the guest bedroom. My evening gown was still on the floor, the bed still made, and suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but there. Angry hands ripped Caleb’s shirt from my body, and I stormed into the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as my skin could tolerate. If he was running, then I was going to wash him from every patch of skin, until there was no trace of him, or his smell left. Of course I could still feel his presence between my legs, but I was going to have to ignore that as best I could. I was sure that you didn’t just forget sex with Caleb Callahan, but I was going to be the first woman in history to try.

  And hopefully succeed.

  When my skin was red, and almost raw, I turned the water off, and grabbed a towel. I’d just walked back into the bedroom when my phone rang, and when I saw “Mom” flashing across the screen I thought twice about answering. She was probably calling because news had broken about my ‘relationship’ with Caleb, and wanted to know why I hadn’t told her myself. I wasn’t sure I could deal with her just yet, but then again, I needed to talk to someone about what had happened.

  I flopped onto the bed, resigned, and swiped the screen to answer.